


Unintended Consequences

by dontmakemeatarget



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Golden swan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 11:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 105,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontmakemeatarget/pseuds/dontmakemeatarget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe that's what she needed right now; to sleep with someone without any emotional connection, with out any feelings at all just pure carnal desire." Grieving after the loss of Graham, Emma goes looking for a distraction, she doesn't expect to start falling for the man she goes to for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Graham!" Emma Swan sobbed as she knelt beside Graham's lifeless body. Mere moments ago they had been kissing. She had let her walls down for a fraction of a second and look what it had done. It had killed a man. He'd collapsed in her arms; dead in an instant. 

"NO!" She shouted, her voice echoing off the empty walls of the police station.  What was she to do now?  Call 9-1-1? They were 9-1-1. 

 _Call the hospital directly. You're just the police, you're not responsible for every crisis. Get your head on straight, Emma. A man is dead, this is no time for you to be emotional. Call the hospital. Now!_    A voice in Emma's head shouted at her. Of course, why hadn't she done that already. She wasn't thinking clearly. 

Hands numb and eyes bloodshot with tears she scrambled up from the floor in search of the phone. Finding it, her fingers fumbled around poking at the numbers that would connect her to the hospital. She could hear it ringing. She waited, dread filling her the longer she waited. She wasn't sure why, they wouldn't be able to help anyway. Graham was already dead. She'd checked his pulse. There was nothing to be done for him now. 

"Hello, Storybrooke General, this is Candice. How may I help you?"  _How can you help me?  You smug bitch. Don't you know a man has just died. How can you sit there so calm an polite?_ the irrational, angry side of Emma was rearing its ugly head. 

Cool it, Emma, how's she supposed to know what's going on? For Christ's sake, get it together, her rational side pleaded. 

"This is Emma Swan," she said, breath hitching as she tried to control her emotions. "I'm at the police station. Sheriff Graham collapsed. He's dead. I think he had a heart attack. Send some now!  Please!" Her voice broke at the end and she was unable to hold back one final sob before she slammed the phone down on the table. 

She didn't hang it up or say anything else to the woman on the other end of the line but it didn't matter. She'd gotten her message across. She knew they would be sending someone and knew they'd be there soon. 

Emma fought the urge to crash down to the ground beside Graham's corpse once again. Instead she paced the length of the station pausing every so often to crane her head and listen for the telltale signs of the approaching ambulance; the wailing of the siren, the flash and red of blue stark against the dark night sky. She ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at it hard In frustration. 

She was so frustrated. Frustrated that she had let someone in. Frustrated that like all other times she'd let someone in, they gone and left her alone. Frustrated that she was frustrated with a dead man for dying. But most of all frustrated with Regina. Emma didn't know how but this had to be Regina's fault. Could it be someone's fault that a man had a heart attack?  No. But she blamed Regina anyway. It made her feel better that way. 

"Ms. Swan," an EMT said as he stepped into the station. Another EMT followed behind her, both wheeling a gurney into the room. "I'm going to have to ask you to move out of the way."  The woman's voice was clam but authoritative. It held a note of sympathy. Emma didn't like it. She hated sympathy. Sympathy was something weak, emotional people needed. She'd made a vow to herself long ago to never be one of those people again. What a swell job she had done. 

Emma was barely aware of her own body as she stepped off to the side to allow the EMTs to collect Graham's body. She watched in a strange mix of horror and fascination as they picked him up and placed him on the gurney. He looked as though he might be asleep. She knew better though. He was dead, never to wake again. 

"Ma'am?" The other EMT asked, looking at Emma. 

She just looked at him, nodding absently to let him know she had heard and was listening. 

"Would you like to ride in the ambulance with him?"  His tone was sympathetic too and almost pitying. She could see it in the man's eyes that he knew there was no saving Graham now; that there was really no reason to ride in the ambulance with the body; no reason to mutter prayers at a corpses side. 

"No," she chocked out in reply. "I'll follow behind though."  

Emma wanted to go to the hospital. She wanted to know that his body was going to be taken care of, wanted to know for sure how he had died, hoping they'd be able to know right away. For some reason she thought that if she knew and heard with finality that he was dead and why from a medical professional her guilt and grief may lift. 

It was an absurd notion really. Grief couldn't be cured, it could only lessen or be forgotten temporarily by way of an outside source, like alcohol perhaps or something else. Alcohol or something else sounded good right about now. 

She followed aimlessly behind the EMTs until she made it to her bug in the parking spot labeled "deputy". Deputy. The notion was somehow laughable to her now. What kind of deputy was she? A man died in her arms. She was a really shit deputy. 

Her eyes dried as she drove to the hospital. When she arrived though hit tears of anger crept back into her eyes at the sight of the mayor's car in the lot. 

 _What the fuck does she want, that evil bitch._ _She doesn't deserve to be here. She was nothing to Graham. He hated her and how he treated him. I'll kill her!_  

Emma stormed through the front doors of the hospital as the EMTs wheeled Graham’s body down the hall. Her limbs were shaking with fury. She spun around wildly looking for the mayor. Maybe that something else she'd been thinking about before could be beating the shit out of Regina. That might make her forget her grief for a moment and it would feel oh so good. Even better, it wouldn't cause her to have a hangover the next morning. 

"You!" She shouted, finally spotting Regina pacing a nearby corridor. "What the hell do you think you're you doing here?!"  Emma rushed over to her in the hallway and slammed her against the wall. 

"I'm his emergency contact!" Regina shouted back at her, trying to fight her way out of Emma's grasp. "And I'd appreciate it if you lowered your voice when talking to me, Ms. Swan," she commanded in an almost menacing tone. 

Emma wasn't afraid of her though. She'd hit her once already; she would do it again with glee.  Against her better judgment, Emma stepped away from Regina and let her off the wall.  "You have no right being here!  You killed him, you son of a bitch!" 

"Killed him?" Regina responded, feigning confusion and hurt at the accusation. "According to you he died of a heart attack. For all I know, you're the one who killed him. You were the one who was with him last."  Her tone was almost gleeful. 

"How dare you!" Emma shouted, a vein in her forehead throbbing in anger. 

"Please, ma'am clam down, this is a hospital." A nurse had wandered up to them to put a stop to their shouting. 

"Shut up!" Emma shouted back at the nurse. The nurse halted in shock. Emma shouldn't have yelled at her like that.  The nurse hasn't done anything wrong, Emma was just angry. 

"Ms. Swan?" Dr. Whale called to her as he walked up to join the nurse. He patted the nurse lightly on the back and instructed her to return to her desk. He would take care of the bickering women. 

"Doctor!"  It appeared Emma couldn't lower her voice no matter what. It made her feel better to shout. 

"I'm so sorry but Graham is dead. It appears to be just as you surmised. He died of a heart attack. It's rare in a man so young, but these things happen sometimes. I'm sorry. We're going to perform an official autopsy but we are fairly certain of the cause of death. Sorry for your loss," he finished rather lamely placing a hand lightly on her arm in what Emma was sure he thought was a comforting gesture. It wasn't. Not to her anyway. 

A soft, murmured "thank you" was all Emma could say. It was done; it was official. Graham was dead. 

She glanced at Regina. She shouldn't have. All it did was make her angry. Regina glared back at her. She looked so smug, so pleased with herself. Graham was a good man. He didn't deserve to die. Regardless of what the doctor said, Emma was going to continue to believe that Regina was somehow responsible for his death.

Numbly, Emma headed back toward the entrance of the hospital. She couldn't stand to be there any longer. She had always hated hospitals and this experience did not lessen that distaste in the slightest. She had to leave.  Now. 

As she approached her bug, her hands fumbled around her keys. Her hands were still shaking. Out of anger or grief, she couldn't be sure, quite possibly both. 

She sighed when she heard the sound of the lock click. Pulling the door open slowly she slid into her seat. Her shoulders hunched as she sagged into it. She was only vaguely aware of where she was driving, both surprised and not to find herself back at the station. 

It hadn't been her plan to go back to where Graham had died but she knew she didn't want to go back to her apartment either. Mary Margaret would be there. Mary Margaret was her friend, sure, but she didn't need a sympathetic friend patting her back and telling her everything was going to be all right. What she needed was a distraction, something to take her mind off the evenings events. 

Emma stood in the doorway of Graham's office. Her body was still shaking lightly from the shock of the evening. She started when the phone in her pocket rang. 

"Hello?" She spoke into the phone. 

"Emma?"  It was Mary Margaret _. Of course._  

"Yeah..." 

"I heard what happened. A nurse friend of mine just called. Are you okay?  Where are you?  Are you coming home soon?"  She rambled the questions off one after the other, barely taking a breath between them and certainly not leaving enough time for Emma to answer them. 

Emma decided to completely ignore the first question. What kind of question was that anyway? _Was she okay?_ Of course she wasn't okay. What a fucking ridiculous question. Emma didn't have time for questions like that. 

"I'm at the station and no, I won't be home soon." 

"Emma..." Mary Margaret began to plead. 

"No. I can't come home right now. I just can't. I'm sorry. Okay?" 

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." 

"Ok...well I'm here if you need me, okay." 

"Yeah," Emma replied then hung up the phone without even saying goodbye. 

She didn't need Mary Margaret right now. Mary Margaret would sit next to her, pat her on the back and whisper empty promises about a brighter tomorrow. She would make Emma talk about her feelings and cry and other emotional shit like that. Emma was already more emotional than she ever liked to be she didn't want to _get in touch with her feelings._ Unlike how the reason Graham had come to her and kissed her to feel something, she didn't want to _feel_ anything. Well, not anything emotional anyway. 

Emma sat at Graham's desk wondering what he could do to just not feel anything anymore. What could she do to forget her grief if only for a moment? 

The answer came to her when she thought about how Graham had come to her to feel something emotional, a real connection with a person instead of how he had been sleeping with Regina and not feeling a thing. 

Maybe that's what she needed right now, to sleep with someone without any emotional connection, with out any feelings at all just pure carnal desire. There was only one problem of course; Emma didn't know a whole lot of men in Storybrooke. Not to mention she didn't find any of the men she knew very attractive and even if she did none of them seemed like the kind of man who would be okay with what she wanted. 

 _That's not entirely true Emma. There is one man you know you find attractive whether you want to admit it or not and he'd have no qualms about slamming you against a wall and taking you without feeling, without emotion and not feel guilty about taking advantage of a grieving woman_ , a voice in Emma's mind pointed out. 

It was right too, there was one man Emma could think of who would do want she wanted.

 _Gold,_ Emma thought. She probably never would've considered it had she been in her right mind regardless of the fact that she was in fact attracted to him. But she wasn't in her right mind. She was drunk with grief and the longer she sat there thinking about it the more it seemed like a good idea. 

Mind made up, Emma began to furiously search Graham's office for some sort of town directory or phone book or something, some way to look up Gold's address. She found what she was looking for in the bottom right drawer of the desk. She flipped the town directory open, thumbing through the pages until she reached the "G's".

 _Gold, Gold, Gold,_ she thought as her index finger trailed down the page searching for his name. _There!_ Quickly she grabbed a sticky note off the desk and copied down the address. She fished her keys out of her coat pocket and headed back out to her car with surprising urgency. 

In the instant she arrived outside of Gold's house, parked at the curbside, she was thankful there was no police force to speak of aside from her; she'd driven well above the speed limit to get there. Though the clock had just struck two o'clock a.m., Emma could see lights on in Mr. Gold's house. For some reason, this fact didn't surprise her at all. Somehow Gold seemed the kind of man who was up until the wee hours of the morning doing god knows what. In any other context that would bother her or creep her out, make her curious what he was up to but right now she couldn't care less. 

Right now she was just grateful that he was up and about. She wasn’t sure what she would've done if she'd showed up at his house only to find it completely silent. Emma had made up her mind about what she wanted to do to distract her from her grief and it would've been a crushing blow if she were unable to satiate her desires that evening. Likely she would've resorted to alcohol and that was really just not even close to feeling as good as sex. It would be a distraction and make her forget for the night but it was nothing compared to a night of unadulterated sex. 

Emma turned off the car and stepped out, shutting the door behind her and strutted up to Gold's front door with intense purpose. She was on a mission now. There was no time to be timid, shy or to feel any shame for what she was planning to do. Her boots made loud thuds against the wood of the steps of Gold's porch. If it was quiet inside, Gold was likely alerted to the presence of someone at his home. Approaching the door, Emma rapped her knuckles hard on it three times. 

Inside, Gold stood in his dinning room, the sounds of knocking reverberating off the walls in his quiet home. He'd been having a drink when he heard footsteps outside his door and stood up to take a peek at who could be visiting him at this hour. He set his glass down lightly on the table. He'd only just poured his second glass when the knock came. 

He walked to his front door and peered through the stained glass window to see who was there. In the darkness he could not tell who it was, the dark colors from the glass distorting the visitors features.  Smoothly he opened the door just enough to peek out. He was more than a little shocked to find Emma Swan standing outside his door. Tentatively he opened it the rest of the way to get a good look at her. She looked decidedly disheveled, eyes puffy and cheeks visibly tear-stained. 

"Ms. Swan?" 

Emma was again not surprised by what she saw when he opened the door. He was still dressed up like he always was. He'd done away with the suit jacket and vest but was still wearing his dress shirt. It was blood red and tucked in tightly to his black dress pants.  And oddly, Emma noted, he was barefoot, though somehow it didn't look weird at all. He looked cool, calm and collected just as he always did. Emma found that somehow reassuring. 

She didn't say anything to him in greeting or anything to explain what she was doing there at such a strange hour. All she did was step swiftly through the threshold forcing Gold to fumble backwards lest she forcibly run him down. She slammed the door closed behind her. Emma was oddly satisfied when she glimpsed the surprise in Gold's eyes. 

 _You haven't seen nothin' yet, Gold. Just you wait,_ Emma thought as she grabbed him by his shoulders. She turned him around and threw his body into the front door. He hit the door hard, pain shooting up his back at the contact and his cane crashed to the floor beside them. 

Gold was absolutely speechless for the first time in his life. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. He couldn't recall having done anything to piss Emma off so much that she would track him to his house to attack him. 

He didn't know about Graham dying so he could only assume that Emma was there to hurt him. The alternative didn't occur to him in the slightest. Well until she skulked up to him forcing one of her legs between his and reaching to wrap her arms around his neck that is. 

Her lips came crashing into his with alarming force and urgency. It was not sweet; it was not soft; it was not romantic; it wasn’t even lustful, it was feral. Her tongue snaked out and forced its way into Gold's mouth. 

Gold was only vaguely aware of what was happening and that he was returning the kiss with surprising vigor.  His own arms wound themselves around her body. His right arm, up high around her back just under her neck the other down around her waist pulling her closer. 

As Emma kissed him sloppily she was pleased to feel him respond as he wrapped his thin yet strong arms around her. Already she could feel a stir from between Gold's legs. She moved the leg she had placed between his and could easily feel the growing hardness there. It excited her how quickly she was able to arouse him. 

As Emma's leg brushed against his erection, his senses came flooding back to him as though he had just been roused from sleep by a bucket of ice-cold water. 

"Ms. Swan, wait. What are you doing?" He asked panting and pushing her away from him by her shoulders. She tried to fight back against him to close the distance between them once more but Mr. Gold's grip on her was strong and firm, keeping her in place. 

"Come on, Gold. Are you the kind of guy I think you are or not?" 

* * *

 

It was only as Gold collapsed beside her, completely spent that he realized how much he had been sweating. His hair was clinging to his face and as he glanced at Emma next to him he noticed she had been sweating as well.

Gold lay beside her in bed as their breathing returned to normal one arm bent behind his head, the other resting on his belly. In that moment he had an urge to wrap and arm around Emma's waist but he refrained. That was too intimate, too familiar.

He must not forget what this was. It was a one-time thing. One emotionless, pleasure filled evening to help her forget her troubles, nothing more. So he kept his hands to himself as he drifted off to sleep and Emma did the same as she turned away from him onto her side and fell asleep, all thoughts of Graham completely gone from her mind. Even as she slept, not once did thoughts of Graham surface even in her subconscious. She had gotten what she came for.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All righty, guys, here's chapter three finally! Sorry I took so long to post it (especially since it was already written :/ but here it is, the morning after.

When Emma awoke the next morning she found that both herself and Gold had managed to find their way underneath the covers. She was pleased to note that she hadn't subconsciously snuggled up to him in her sleep. Even in sleep her body knew instinctively that last night was not about emotion and feeling but just pure pleasure and she wasn't there to cuddle.

Though she did absently think that he did look rather snuggleable next to her. His skin was really soft; she wouldn't forget that detail any time soon. In fact she probably would never forget. An image of his body hovering over hers flashed through her mind and she decided that last night had been exactly what she needed. But that was last night, now it was morning and she wanted to leave before Gold woke up.

She slid silently out of bed and tiptoed around the room gathering her clothing up from the floor putting each garment on as she found it. She made her way around to the side of the bed to grab her pants and was confused when her panties weren't with them. She got down on her knees to check under the bed but didn't see them there either.

 _Where the hell's my underwear?_  She asked herself.

The bed beside her creaked as Gold shifted positions in his sleep. Fearing he would wake, she decided she'd just have to leave without them. She had to go home before going to the station for work anyway so she could shower and change her clothes so she wasn't too concerned about it. She'd get them from him later.

Quiet as the grave, Emma pulled the door of Gold's room open and snuck out. She was entirely sure why she was being so sneaky but she just wanted to get out of there before he woke up. Now that she was of clear mind, she felt a little wrong, a little dirty about what she'd done with Gold last night.

In the back of her mind she felt that there was no reason to think like that. So she had needs, what of it? Guys got away with it all the time, why couldn't she? Well, she could and she would.

She guessed the main reason she didn't want him to wake up while she was still there was because she didn't know how he'd act after what they'd done. Would he be awkward about it? She doubted it but it was possible. Would he joke about it? That one was likely. Would he be curious what had made her so distressed and caused her to seek him out like she had? She didn't want that. Or worse, would he understand?

That seemed like the worst-case scenario to her. The reason she had gone to him had been because she didn't think he would need to sympathize with her or understand her motivations to have given her what she wanted. She chose him mainly because she didn't think him capable of sympathy or understanding. Well maybe not that he wasn't capable of it but knew that he would notice she didn't want that or need that and therefore wouldn't give it to her.

Making it down to the bottom of the stairs, she picked her jacket up off the floor, threw it on and walked out the door. She walked down the driveway to the curb, got in her car and drove away.

Lying in bed, Gold heard the dull thud of a car door closing. He opened his eyes slowly looking to his right and seeing that Emma was gone. He sat up and looked over the side of his bed noting her clothes were gone as well. Quickly he hopped out of and made his way to the window just in time to see her yellow bug pull away from the curb.

He wasn't surprised she'd left without waking him. Gold had no delusions about what last night had meant for the two of them, which was nothing. Last night had meant absolutely nothing. The only thing that would change about their relationship was that they would know how good the other was in bed. Nothing more.

As he made his way away from the window, a prick of pain shot up his leg. Emma wasn't heavy by any means but the poorly repaired bones in his right leg were simply not enough to carry any extra weight. Shifting his weight to his left leg, he thought, all in all, last night was well worth the pain he was enduring now. He'd do it again if she asked.

Seeing as how he was awake now, he figured he might as well get in the shower and get ready for the day ahead of him. He made his way to the shower leaning heavily on his left leg.

As Emma approached the door of the apartment, she leaned into the door listening for any signs of movement from within. She was hoping Mary Margaret wasn't awake yet. Emma had a story ready for when Mary Margaret asked where she had been all night, one that didn't include sleeping with Gold, but if she could avoid that conversation it would be ideal. Unfortunately Mary Margaret was an early riser.

Emma heard no noise from within so she thought she was in the clear and gently pushed the door open and tiptoed through the threshold.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret said tilting her head in question as she walked in.

"Oh...hi. I thought you might still be asleep," Emma replied lamely.

"Did you not come home last night? I tried staying up to wait for you but I couldn't keep my eyes open, I fell asleep. I just assumed you had come home really late. It was just after one when I headed to bed."

"Yeah, no I didn't ever come home. I fell asleep at the station by accident. I just came home to take a quick shower and change my clothes."

"Oh, ok...Are you ok, you know, after last night? You seemed pretty shaken up," Mary Margaret asked tentatively. She didn't want to upset Emma by asking but she also wanted to make sure she was coping ok.

"Uh, yeah, kinda. I'm better than last night anyway. I really think it was just the shock that got me so bad last night. I mean he died in my arms. I don't mean to sound crass or cold but I didn't even really know him that well. I don't know why it affected me so much," Emma explained.

"Well you cared about him," Mary Margaret said.

"I mean he was a good guy and I liked him but I only kissed him twice and I've only known him a few months."

"Are you sure you're ok? You seem to be handling this a lot differently than last night."

"Yeah well, here's the thing, I uh, I dealt with my feelings," Emma replied avoiding mention of how she'd done that and hoping Mary Margaret didn't ask.

"I don't mean to pry, but how did you deal with it. I'm not trying to harass you or anything I'm just concerned about you, Emma. You're my friend. I care about you. I want to make sure you're ok."

"Um look, honesty...I know its not the best way to have handled it but I had a few drinks at the station. Just to clear my head, you know."

"Emma, that's not ok. You can't drown your sorrows in alcohol," Mary Margaret scolded. She sounded like a mother, or at least what mothers seemed like on television. Emma never really had a mom to look out for her and lecture her that way so she couldn't be too sure.

"I didn't get black out drunk or anything I just had a few drinks to clear away the shock and calm me down." A touch of anger was beginning to rise in her voice now. Idly Emma wondered if it would've been better to tell Mary Margaret what she had really done last night. Then she realized that that was an absurd notion. It was honestly probably better that Mary Margaret thought she had alcoholic tendencies than that she had sex with Mr. Gold. Emma was suddenly grateful that Mary Margaret was standing so far from her and couldn't see her hickey.

"I think maybe you should talk to someone. That might be better. Maybe you should go talk to Archie," she suggested.

"For Christ's sake Mary Margaret I don't need to see a shrink. I don't know about you, but I've lost plenty of people in my life. They've died, walked out on me or gave me away because they didn't want me anymore. I'm no stranger to people disappearing from my life. I don't need a lecture from you. You're not my mother. I'll handle my problems however I want!" Emma shouted as hot tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

She hadn't meant to say half the stuff she had. She never intended to say all that about people leaving her and eluding to the slew of foster parents who had adopted her only to turn around and give her up again. But there it was. At least she made her point.

Her high from last night was evaporating at an alarming pace. Emma liked Mary Margaret but she didn't particularly enjoy this placating, holier-than-thou attitude she was displaying. Why couldn't she just drop the whole issue so they both could just get on with their day?

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just worried-"

"Well don't be. I can take care of myself."

"Ok. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know," Emma, sighed, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just-I don't know. It's weird for me having someone who cares about me and worries about me. You're a good friend, Mary Margaret."

Mary Margaret didn't know how to respond. Somehow she didn't think saying "thank you" was really appropriate at that time so she just stood there silently and nodded her head.

"Right," Emma began. "I'm going to go hop in the shower now. I'll see ya later."

"Yeah. Later."

A little over and hour later Emma was dressed and ready to head to the station, she was still deputy after all. She took extra care in concealing the mark Gold had left on her neck, no need for awkward questions. She thought going back to her daily routine as if nothing were different was exactly what she needed to be doing. If she changed the way she did things and acted differently it would make her feel like she wasn't ok but she was ok. And as she thought that she knew it was true.

Obviously she hasn't forgotten how bad it had been when Graham died in her arms but she was ok with it now. It had happened. It was done and there was nothing she could do about it. All she could do was move on. And she would. The events of last night had pushed her recovery time forward considerably.

Maybe she should thank Gold...or maybe that would be too weird and probably awkward as fuck.  _"Hey, Gold, thanks for the lay. See ya around?"_. No, that didn't sound like something she should do. At any rate though, she had to see him. She wanted her underwear back. Those panties were expensive. So instead of heading straight to the station she drove down to Gold's quaint little pawnshop.

Gold got up from his desk when he heard the little bell on his door ring announcing a visitor. People rarely came to his shop so he was fairly certain whom it would be. Gold smiled smugly to himself as he thought that this time Emma came to him she would be sorely disappointed. He had a feeling she was there to get her panties back but he had absolutely no intentions of returning them to her, though he did have them with him just so he could show her that he did in fact have them. They were tucked into the pocket inside his jacket.

"Good morning," he greeted idly looking at the ground feigning indifference to the fact that there was a visitor. He didn't look up from the ground so he couldn't see her but he knew it was her.

"Hey," she replied stiffly. Gold could already hear her accusation in that one word.

"Ah, Ms. Swan. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He smirked at her.

Emma narrowed her eyes at him when she saw the smirk rise to his lips.  _Smug bastard. Doesn't he just look like the cat that ate the fucking canary?_

"I believe you have something of mine," she stated.

Gold chuckled as he watched her walk up to him and stand across from him on the other side of the display case. "You mean these?" He fished the panties out of his breast pocket and dangled them above the display case in front of her with his index finger.

"Yes, those," she barked, lunging out to grab them. But Gold was ready for that and he was quicker than her. He pulled his arm back swiftly leaving her arm hanging stupidly in the air grasping at nothing.

"Ah, ah, ah," he said waggling a finger at her. "They're mine now. You can't have them." And he stuffed her panties back into his breast pocket a look of smug satisfaction on his features.

He sounded almost like a petulant child who'd tricked another kid at the playground into giving him their toy.

She glared hard at him. "Seriously, give them back. Those were expensive."

"Oh I'm sure that they were. But like I said, they're mine now. You're not getting your knickers back. Not now, not ever."

"Gold! I mean it!"

"Everything comes with a price, dearie. Consider this my payment."

"Payment? What do you think I am, some sort of prostitute!?"

"I'll think you'll find that in this particular scenario it would be me who was considered the prostitute and I'd have to say no, I don't consider that to be what's going on here. I suppose 'souvenir' is the more appropriate word rather than 'payment'. Yes, souvenir is much more appropriate. And what a souvenir it is," he smirked.

"You're an ass," she stated dryly, not a hint of humor in her voice.

"Yes, I'm assuming that's why you came to me last night instead of someone else."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't insult me, dearie. We both know what you think of me. 'Come on, Gold. Are you the kind of man I think you are or not?' That's what you said to me last night. And I find it a little insulting that last night it was perfectly fine that I was the kind of man you think I am, which is apparently not a good one, but now its not."

"I didn't say it wasn't ok. I was just stating a fact. You are an ass. And so what if that's why I came to you?"

"So nothing," he answered. "I'm just no fool is all. Don't feel like you got away with something or tricked me into it. I knew exactly what I was doing and what you were doing. You suspected me to be the kind of man who wouldn't take issue with taking advantage of a drunk woman-"

"I wasn't drunk," she argued.

"Grief can be just as inebriating as alcohol. And you were quite right. It didn't bother me in the slightest that you sought me out. It was clear you were looking for a... _release._ I was only too happy to oblige...twice."

"You heard about Graham?" She knew he must have when he mentioned grief.

"Indeed."

"Big deal, I used you for sex. Sue me!"

"Do you hear me complaining about it? I have no problem with what happened last night and you shouldn't either. You're a grown woman; you can do as you please. There's no reason to be ashamed about the events of last evening-"

"I'm not ashamed," she argued again.

"Are you sure because you seem to be getting rather defensive?"

"I'm not ashamed," she reiterated. She really wasn't but for some reason she felt like she had to justify her actions anyway.  _Screw it. I don't owe him an explanation. That's precisely the reason I went to him, so I didn't have to explain myself._

"Good," he replied simply.

Emma shifted her weight awkwardly.

"Um...well thanks, I guess for um, you know. I needed that."  _Did that sound as awkward to him as it did to me? Why did I even say that? What the fuck? 'I needed that?' Really, Emma? He already looks incredibly pleased with himself and now you had to go and say that. What the hell is wrong with you? God you're and idiot._

Gold laughed lightly and flashed her a smile. "I assure you, Ms. Swan, it was my pleasure."

"Right...so are you serious about not giving me back my underwear?"

"As a heart attack."

Ok, even Gold had to admit that was a low blow but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to see how she would react. If she flew off the handle or broke down he figured it meant he hadn't quite fulfilled his role last night and if she brushed it off stoically it meant he had.

 _Prick._ "Fine. Keep them. You're never going to see another pair of my panties again so I guess I can let you have your  _souvenir_."

_Hmm, yes, it seems I did my duty well last night._

Then Emma turned around to stomp back out of his shop. When her hand reached the doorknob he called back out to her, "Oh, Ms. Swan?"

"What?" She asked not even bothering to turn around and face him.

"Feel free to ah,  _come_ again any time you'd like."

And without any acknowledgment whatsoever, she pushed her way out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, here's chapter four for you guys. This chapters is entirely original but the ones to come are sort of re-writes of Desperate Souls, wherein I add my own little twists and delve a bit more into Gold and Emma's thoughts during the episode in light of what has already happened in this story. Depending on how long I make the chapters/where it feels right to cut it off, that episode will encompass a few chapters in this story, which are already written. But for now, Graham's funeral.

As Emma got into her car to drive back to the station, she thought that was a decidedly unproductive visit. She had gone there to get her panties pack and had left without them. She had gone there intending not to thank him for last night and had thanked him anyway. Maybe if she entered the station intending to have a busy day she would in turn have a relaxing day, which would be great given she now had to take care of all police business on her own.

Since it was in fact slow at the station that day Emma began to plan for Graham's funeral. Unfortunately he had no family to speak of to help pay for all the things for his funeral but his life insurance would cover enough for the cheapest casket and headstone. She herself planned to stop by Game of Thorns and order a nice arrangement of flowers for during the service. It sickened her to think that Regina was probably going to do the same. But at least Emma had beaten her to punch with organizing the funeral. There was no way in hell she was going to let that woman plan his funeral.

_Over my dead body, maybe, but not Graham's._

After calling around to the morgue and the church Emma was exhausted. She hadn't had her morning coffee and that needed to be remedied immediately. So, getting up from the desk, she threw on her jacket and walked on down to the diner.

Walking in she was not pleased to see Gold limping her way.

_He'd better not say anything here or I'll kick his cane out from under him and beat him with it_

Wisely, all he did was mutter "Ms. Swan" and incline his head toward her as he walked out the door. Though he did have a ghost of a smirk lingering on his thin lips. She didn't mind though, she was the only one who could see it. Still, she rolled her eyes in response and didn't acknowledge him as he brushed past her.

"Morning, Emma," Ruby called to her when she noticed her walk in.

"Morning," she replied sliding onto a stool in front of the waitress.

"I'm sorry about Graham. How...how are you doing?" Ruby asked somewhat tentatively.

"I'm all right. It was rough last night, the shock of it all and everything but I'm good now. I've just been calling around and arranging his funeral and needed to take a break and get some coffee," she replied.

"No problem, coming right up." Then she swiftly turned around and whipped up a cup of Joe for Emma.

Coming back to the counter ruby said, "So when's the funeral going to be?"

"This Sunday. I'm heading over to the flower shop after this to order an arrangement for the service that way they have plenty of time to get it all together. I know its only Wednesday but I figure I won't be the only one ordering flowers so they'll be pretty busy."

"Yeah me and Granny were talking about getting a collection going here in the diner for people in town to pitch in for a big arrangement. Mary Margaret came in early this morning saying she was going to do the same with the kids in her class."

"Oh, yeah, that's a really good idea. That'll be really nice," Emma said with a small smile. "Anyway I gotta get going. How much do I owe you for the coffee?"

"You know what, don't even worry about it. It's on the house," Ruby replied with an almost sympathetic smile, though she didn't sound sympathetic, for which Emma was grateful.

"Oh no, I couldn't-"

"Seriously, Emma, you've had a rough 24 hours. It's no big deal. Honestly."

"Well thanks, I appreciate it. Have a good day, Ruby," she said as she stood up from the stool and headed back out the door.

"You're welcome," Ruby called after her.

"How's she doing?" Granny asked coming up behind Ruby.

"She says she's fine," she answered as she watched Emma walk down the street until she disappeared from view. "And I think she might actually be fine. She looked fine."

"Well that's good I guess. It's still sad though about him dying in her arms like that."

"Yeah," she replied shrugging her shoulders and returning to work.

Emma sipped her coffee leisurely as she walked down to the flower shop. It was nice out the day and she took her time walking enjoying the sunlight and fresh air. It was the perfect weather in her opinion; just cool enough to be comfortable wearing a light jacket.

Stepping into the shop she was assaulted with the strong scent of the various flowers in the shop. It was all a bit much she thought. So many different smells mixing together like that. It was almost suffocating but at least it wasn't an unpleasant smell.

"How may I help you?" The man behind the counter asked. He had a thick Australian accent and his nametag said "Moe".

"Um, I was hoping to order a flower arrangement for a funeral service for Sunday." Emma said.

"Ah, for the late sheriff?"

"Uh yeah."

"You're the deputy aren't you? I've seen you driving around." Moe said.

"Yup, that's me."

"Sorry for your loss," he replied.

"Oh, uh thanks..." Emma said quietly. She didn't like people saying it was her loss. She barely knew the man. How sad was that that she seemed to be closest to him in this whole town...aside from Regina anyway.

"So, what sort of flowers were you thinking about?" He asked, taking out a pen and a piece of paper to write down her order.

"Well, here's the thing, I don't know a whole hell of a lot about flowers so..." She trailed of, hoping he'd get where she was going.

"Say no more, I'll make it a good one ma'am."

"Ok, great. Thanks. And whatever you put together is fine no matter the cost. Do whatever you think looks good I guess."

"Not a problem. I'll give a call to the station when it's all ready?"

"Yeah that'll work," she replied heading toward the exit.

"Have a good day," he called after her.

"Yeah, you too."

As Emma stepped back outside she turned to head back to the station and ran right into someone by accident.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Emma shouted. She'd run right into Mr. Gold.

Mr. Gold laughed loudly. She'd caught him quite by surprise as well and he found her reaction highly entertaining.

"What's so funny?" She barked.

"You, my dear. You are funny," he answered smiling.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway? You stalking me or something?"

Gold let out a breathy chuckle at that question. "Sorry to disappoint you, dearie, but as much as I enjoyed last night it wasn't so incredible I feel the need to stalk you." That was partially a lie, it was that incredible but he wasn't the stalky type really. "Not everything revolves around you. I was coming here to order an arrangement for Graham's funeral."

"You're buying flowers for his funeral?" Emma asked skeptically.

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"I'm just surprised, I guess. Didn't think you cared," Emma replied.

"Graham was a good man, I have nothing against him and I'm very sorry he died. I didn't realize it was so odd for me to act like a decent human being," Gold said stonily.

"That's not what I-"

"Save it. Good day Ms. Swan," and Gold entered into the flower shop without another glance at Emma and left her standing outside alone.

 _Well excuse the fuck out of me for asking a question,_ Emma thought as she turned and headed back to the station. Oddly, Emma noted the temperature seemed far cooler now than it had before. Or maybe it had been Gold's cold demeanor as he departed.  _Well then, maybe you shouldn't have been such bitch,_  rational Emma chastised her.

Emma thought maybe she had been a little rude but she'd had one hell of a day/night last night. She had so much going on she didn't really need Gold prancing around in front of her with that goddamn smirk on his face flaunting what she'd done with him. Well it seemed like flaunting to her, just seeing him around, a constant reminder of what grief had driven her to do.

She knew she shouldn't feel ashamed about sleeping with Gold, he certainly didn't, but the more time passed the more she did. She couldn't figure out why either. She had gotten exactly what she wanted out of the exchange. She'd gotten sex (good sex too, whether or not she wanted to admit it) and her grief had been swept under the rug just as planned.

Maybe that's why she felt ashamed now, because it had been so easy to get over the loss of Graham? She had to admit that she was actually over it, it was sad still, sure, but it wasn't going to keep her up all night, it wasn't going to haunt her every waking moment, it would just be another thing that had happened like any other thing that happened.

What she needed to do was stop thinking about it, stop over analyzing everything. She didn't need to be doing that. All it did was confuse her and piss her off. She had a feeling Gold wasn't walking around all day over thinking and analyzing what happened, why should she? Well she wasn't going to anymore. She was going to put the whole thing behind her and just go about her days as if nothing had happened. She wouldn't treat him any differently if she saw him out. She'd be congenial, no more, no less. It was decided.

* * *

By the time Graham's funeral came around that Sunday Emma had done exactly what she had planned to do. She went about her business as usual she didn't think about Graham anymore than she needed to and she didn't think about Gold at all or at least any time she did she quickly shoved the thoughts to the back of her mind.

She'd seen him around town a few times, ran into him at the diner and such. She never talked to him though just said "hi" in passing or nodded her head in acknowledgment of him. Emma thought it would've been weird if she just completely ignored him. It wasn't her style to ignore him.

Before she slept with him she never turned down an opportunity to verbally spar with him if she ran into him. She thought it would've looked odd to others if she skirted around him like everyone else in town tended to do. She just avoided actually conversing with him. She had the suspicion that he would've dropped some sort of innuendo into the conversation and that was fine, she could play ball, so long as nobody else was around to hear. What happened with her and Gold was between her and Gold.

It was a bit chilly out as she and almost everyone else in town stood around at Graham's burial. Some people were crying (Mary Margaret) but not her and not Regina. She didn't know which she thought was worse, if Regina wasn't crying and didn't look sad or if she had been putting on some kind of show for everyone and fake cried. Then she decided that it didn't matter, her mere presence at all was pissing her off.

She tried to ignore Regina and instead looked around at all the flower arrangements. Hers wasn't very big but it was very tasteful. When she had been walking around earlier shed spotted that Gold's arrangement had been placed next to hers. His was very tasteful as well though a bit smaller than hers. Regina's was huge and gaudy and it looked ridiculous next to all the others. It almost looked festive. The ones from Granny's and the school were nice enough as well.

As her eyes roamed around they'd come to rest on Gold. She wasn't surprised her eyes had wandered to him but it didn't please her. It did surprise her however how somber he looked. She was also surprised that when her eyes landed on him her first thought was how good he looked despite his somber expression.

He was wearing an all black three-piece suit. It fit him very well she thought. It was perfectly pressed and there was a white and black pocket square hanging out of his pocket. His shoes were perfectly shined as always. His hair was as it always was, looking like he'd put effort into it to make it flow so well and shine the way it did but also seeming to be effortlessly perfect. That seemed more "Gold-like" to her.

 _Shit!_  Her eyes had traveled back up to his face and when they did he was giving her a look that clearly stated he had noticed her checking him out. He looked so smug. It really pissed her off. She hoped it wasn't as obvious to everyone else, those little knowing looks he sent her way every time they crossed paths.

The ceremony lasted another twenty minutes or so but Emma barely heard the words that were exchanged. Even when she gave her own short speech to the crowd, she was barely aware of what was happening. She just wanted this whole day to be over with. But most importantly she wanted to get away from Gold.

As much as she had tried to avoid it, her thoughts had wandered to Gold far more than she cared to admit over the last few days. She did try to shove the thoughts firmly to the back of her mind but as per usual, trying didn't get her very far. And of course every time she saw him or her thoughts strayed to him, she couldn't help but conjure up images (and the feelings that accompanied them) from the night they'd spent together.

The soft way he'd touched her and how soft his lips had been. How he had made sure she was satisfied completely before he even thought about his own release. The way he'd been rough and somehow not at the same time. How good it had hurt when he'd bitten her neck and her thigh. It was really unsettling how often those thoughts came to her mind.

What was worse though was not just that she kept replaying those moments in her mind but how she also yearned for more moments like them. She wanted to feel his body against hers like that again, wanted to feel his lips move expertly over her body. That was one thing she had been afraid of when she'd been lying on Gold's bed, that she had been enjoying it too much and that she'd want to do it again.

It would have been better if he'd been a selfish lover or mediocre, but he was far from either of those. And she knew that if she did it again she'd definitely never be able to stop thinking about him. Already he consumed her thoughts all too often. And it wasn't just thoughts about the sex they'd had either.

She found herself very intrigued by him, wanting to know more about him. There was no way a man like the one she'd taken him for would've bought a flower arrangement as tasteful as the one he had for anyone, or go to a funeral and genuinely look sad. Clearly there was more to him than she thought and that irked her to no end.

She'd already suspected that there was more to him than a simple pawnbroker and she was worried about how much she wanted to find out just how much more. She was worried about that because she had a suspicion that she'd like what she found, that she'd like the kind of man he actually was. Admittedly she liked him a bit as it was.

He was clever and attractive and witty, all things she thoroughly enjoyed in a man. She feared she might actually start to feel something for him if she learned more about him and got closer to him. Add that to the fact that she liked having sex with him and it would make things really complicated. And she did not need complicated right now.

But still as she stood there at the funeral, she couldn't help herself but to look his direction every few minutes. Luckily for her, he didn't catch her looking anymore...well at least he didn't let on that he did. Somehow Emma was fairly certain nothing escaped that man's notice and he was acutely aware of it every time her eyes came to rest on him. And damn him to hell for it.

As the crowd began to disperse back to their cars, Emma saw that Gold was heading right towards her so she quickly ducked her head and hurried over to join Mary Margaret. She figured if he were trying to talk to her that he'd abandon his efforts if she were already engaged in conversation with someone else. That was a foolish thing for her to think.

"Excuse me, Ms. Swan," Gold stated as he came to a stop a few feet from her and Mary Margaret. He was standing wide legged with his cane held out in front of him with both hands. He was twirling it slightly.

"Give me a second," Emma told Mary Margaret patting her on the back as she walked over to Gold. They had been close enough to hear one another but Emma didn't want Mary Margaret to hear anything just in case Gold got a bit cheeky.

"What?" Emma asked stiffly.

"That was a lovely speech you gave." He paused waiting for Emma to say something in return. When all she did was look at him expectantly, possibly waiting for him to make some sort of point, thinking he couldn't possibly just want to commend her speech, he continued.

"As I've said before, Graham was a good man. He will be missed. Whether you believe it or not, I am truly so-"

"Stop!" Emma hissed holding her hand up in front of him. "Don't do that. Please don't do that. Don't go all nice guy on me now. I really just can't even handle it if you do that. I mean, if we hadn't...you know" she gave him a pointed look, "would you even care at all and be saying this right now?"

Gold opened his mouth to retort and let her know that in fact he would have still wanted to express his condolences to her but she stopped him before be could voice his thoughts.

"You know what? Don't answer that. I don't want to know." And without allowing him to comment back she whirled around and returned to Mary Margaret's side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, here's chapter five. This one is a bit longer than the other chapters so far because there wasn't a really good place to split it up at all. But yeah, so here it is, enjoy. :D

He watched her go with a tiny smirk curling his lips. That poor woman was trying so hard to not think of him and not think about sex with him every time they saw each other and was failing miserably.

It filled him with a sense of satisfaction every time he caught her looking at him. She may not have noticed, but he had seen her look his way every few minutes during the ceremony. He'd had to try very hard not to chuckle to himself because he assumed people would not take kindly to his laughing at a funeral.

He found Emma to be just as intriguing as she seemed to find him, of course. There were several reasons he was interested in her, least of all because she was supposed to be the savior, in all honesty. She was an intelligent, strong woman who knew what she liked. Why shouldn't he find her interesting?

Gold had thought a lot about her since they'd slept together and had come to the conclusion that he wanted to get to know her better, get closer to her. He liked her, he'd told her once before, and it was still true. Probably even more so now that he knew her in an intimate capacity, at least in the physical sense of the word. And he had a plan that he hoped would help him accomplish the task of getting closer to her.

He didn't necessarily mean he wanted to get closer to her in a romantic sense or at least he didn't want to entertain the idea since he doubted that would ever be an actual option. Emma may find him intriguing but that didn't exactly mean she found him interesting in a good way. But still, that didn't stop him from wanting to know more about her and he had an idea regarding that.

In two weeks time, Emma would become de facto sheriff, something Regina would surely take issue with. And if he knew Regina at all she would try to displace Emma as sheriff and he would be there to make sure Emma remained sheriff. He wasn't sure how he would make it happen yet, but he would and he hoped he'd learn a bit more about Emma in the process.

She was an intriguing woman and he had a thirst for knowledge about her, not even only because she would be the one to break the curse. That was very nearly secondary to his immense curiosity about Emma. He would likely be just as curious about her if she weren't the "savior". He made his way back to his car once she'd gotten a fair distance away from him, a small smile still on his lips.

"What was that all about?" Mary Margaret asked on the way back to Emma's car.

"Oh nothing, just expressing his condolences..." Emma answered.

"Really?"

"Yeah-why is that not something he would normally do?" Damn it, why did she ask that? She told him not two seconds ago she didn't want to know. If he turned out to be the kind of guy who gave out sincere condolences, it would be that much harder to stop thinking about him and who he really was. It was easier if she continued to think he was an asshole. It was easier to ignore feelings if he was an asshole.

"Well no, not necessarily. I mean he would probably do that normally. I mean he always sort of is gentlemanly like that for a guy who's definitely got a dark side to him. I've heard some horror stories about people who didn't pay rent on time. He can be kind of ruthless…I don't know, he intimidates me, I wouldn't wanna get too close to him."

"I don't have any plans to, so that's good," Emma replied, not looking her in the eye. It was safe to say at this point that it wouldn't be a gold idea to confide in Mary Margaret that she'd slept with Gold.

"This might be insensitive but I'm starving. Got any plans for dinner?" Emma asked as her and Mary Margaret entered her car.

"I was thinking lasagna."

"Mmm, yeah that sounds great."

The next two weeks passed without incident, Emma went about her police duties, and everyone else in town went about their business as usual. The only thing that was off was that Henry hadn't been around at all chirping in Emma's ear about "operation cobra" all week.

Emma thought for sure that he was going to come to her after Graham's death and have some wild theory having to do with fairytales to explain Graham's death. It obviously wouldn't have been the healthiest way for a kid to deal with someone dying and she shouldn't be hoping he'd come to her saying that but she did. She really just hoped he'd come to talk to her about something, anything.

She'd gotten kind of used to having the kid around. Even though she didn't believe all the operation cobra stuff he was always spouting she at least pretended to. It wasn't hurting anyone, these theories of his so she didn't see any reason she couldn't play along. It made her feel special that she was the only one, well besides Archie anyway, that he would share his theories with. It gave them a special bond. She was really starting to miss him.

Just as she was about to go to his castle to see if he was hanging out there since it wasn't a school day the station phone went off.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Ms. Swan, its Mr. Gold. If you have a free moment sometime today I would appreciate it if you would stop by my shop. I have some business I need to discuss with you. I'd stop over myself to talk about it but I'm quite busy today and-"

"Yeah, sure. I'll stop by later," she replied shortly. She didn't really want to see him but she also knew he wouldn't let up until she did so she figured she'd just agree.

Emma had been avoiding him since Graham's funeral because she didn't like the way she was starting to feel whenever she thought about him. Presumably whatever those feelings were, would only become more intense if she was actually around him and had to talk to him. And if they became more intense, more prevalent in her mind, she'd have to deal with them, figure out what they meant and she wasn't sure she wanted to do that.

However, Emma had some paper work she wanted to get finished before she stopped over at Gold's shop so she got to work on doing that. It was about an hour and a half before Emma felt her head start to drop as she worked through the mound of paper work she had to do. Deciding to chalk the whole thing up as a lost cause, since she appeared to be falling asleep doing it, she figured now was as good a time as any to head over and see what business Mr. Gold wanted to discuss with her.

Grabbing her red leather jacket off the back of her chair she made a quick pit stop at the bathroom. Once she finished using the bathroom, she stood in front of the sink washing her hands she got a good look at herself in the mirror.

_Damn, I look like shit._

Emma's eyes were a little droopy with sleepiness and she had ink all over her fingers. She reached down into the sink water again and lathered her hands with a generous amount of soap hoping to get rid of the stains this time around.

The last thing she felt like she needed was to go into Gold's shopping looking like hell, though she didn't really understand why that mattered. What did she care what Gold thought about her and her looks, and yet, she did all the same. She splashed some cold water on her face, cleaning it a bit and ran her fingers through her long, curly locks before departing for Gold's shop.

"Gold?" He heard Emma call from the front door of his shop. He gave a small smile at the sound.

There was a pause and he suspected Emma was looking around for him in the front parlor.

"You in here?" She asked.

Gold muttered, "well, it is my shop" under his breath as he continued to work at his desk in the back.

He didn't bother calling back out to her; she was a bright woman she'd make her way back to him eventually.

And sure enough, she did. Emma pushed the curtain aside entering into his back workroom. She didn't even look at him when she walked through, eyes roaming the few shelves lining the walls by the doorway. As she turned to walk to his desk, she halted mid-stride.

"Whoa," she exclaimed as she sniffed the air, noticing and awful smell. "What is that?"

She looked absolutely repulsed. Gold thought that was funny.

"Oh, this is lanolin. Used for waterproofing," he answered nonchalantly.

"It smells like livestock," Emma commented.

"Well it is the reason why sheep's' wool repels water," he explained.

"It stinks," she stated dryly, her face contorted in disgust.

Placing her hands on her hips, she continued, "um, if there was a reason you called the sheriff's department, if you want to talk about that quickly or outside-" She motioned with her thumb to the front parlor, desperately hoping to get away from that terrible smell. She wondered if it really smelt as bad as it seemed or if it was just because she was a city girl and wasn't accustomed to the smell of livestock. Whatever the case she didn't want to smell it ever again, it was awful.

"Yes," Gold replied getting up to walk towards her. "I just wanted to, uh, express my condolences, really. You cut me off at the funeral and I haven't seen you since then so..." He trailed off. That wasn't the only reason he had called her here but he truly did want to tell her that and he thought she might actually listen if there was no one else around.

Emma gave him an almost shocked look. Apparently she still had severe reservations about him and didn't think he could ever act like a decent human being. He thought that was a bit extreme of her, just because he operated under a more lax set of morals than other men, didn't mean he was a monster. He was a human being, and most human beings tended to have a few rough edges. Admittedly though, his were certainly a tad rougher than anyone else in town.

"The sheriff was a good man," he added.

Emma's brow rose curiously when she noticed the sincerity in his eyes. Something about that look in his eyes cut her deep. And she found herself wondering again just how much more to him there was that she didn't know about yet.

Part of her, and a pretty big part at that, really wanted to know. Yet another part of her kept telling her to stay away, that no good could come from being around Mr. Gold.

But why? Because other people were afraid of him? Or because his moral compass didn't exactly point due north? Well neither did hers so what really gave her the right to think bad of him because of it, or stay away from him because of it?

"You're still wearing the deputy's badge," he noted, tearing her from her thoughts, as he looked down to where the badge was clipped at her waist.

Emma inhaled sharply at being torn from her internal monologue and she absently ran a finger over the badge he was talking about.

"Well, he's been gone for two weeks now," Gold went on. "And I believe that after two weeks of acting as sheriff, the job becomes yours." He spoke very softly to her and it jarred her a bit but not nearly as much as him looking so deeply into her eyes as he said it.

Then he did something unexpected, he reached out and touched the badge where it rested on her hip as he said, "You'll have to wear the real badge." It was almost a whisper.

Her head dropped as her eyes followed his hand's movement as it went to her hip. One of his fingers brushed lightly against her own where it was still absently resting on the badge. It sent an odd tingly sensation through her body. In that moment she was glad she had a jacket on so Gold couldn't see that gooseflesh had risen on her skin at his touch.

"Yeah," she said shakily, reeling a bit from that brief delicate touch, "I guess," she continued, still looking down at the badge on her hip as he pulled his hand away.

"I'm just not in a hurry," she added tentatively as she looked back up at him.

_Emma what the hell are you doing? Why are you telling him that? Why are you opening up to him like this? STOP IT! NOW! Shut! It! Down!_

_Right, right, of course,_ she answered herself inside her mind.

"So, um," she went on.

Gold smiled lightly as he noticed the abrupt change in her tone. Clearly she hadn't meant to say that to him about not being ready to be sheriff yet and now it was back to business throwing her walls back up in front of the big, bad, scary pawnbroker. Yes, it would not be easy to get to know more about this woman. He knew that his future plans would likely make it impossible, but what he had planned had to be done. It had to be.

"Thank you for the kind words." And she began to back out of the room; once again her eyes roamed the shelves nearby as she made to leave.

She cleared her throat as she exited the back room.

_Straight back to business, Emma; you cannot get emotionally close to that man. You've already slept with him; don't make it any more complicated. Do not start falling for that man just because he's showing some compassion!_

"I have his things," Gold called after her as he made his way to the front room behind her.

"What?" She asked sharply whipping around to face him again. She just wanted to get out of there at that point. This had not been what she was expecting and somehow this was worse.

That tender moment in the back was really something she wasn't prepared to deal with and definitely couldn't handle another like it. It was really screwing with her head right now. She did not like how he had made her feel a moment ago because deep down she in fact  _had_ liked it. The soft way his finger had brushed against her own and the tender way he looked at her had sent her senses reeling. It was really confusing, she didn't want to start feeling anything for him but she couldn't help it that she was.

What was he even doing acting like that and touching her like that? What was he playing at? Was he just doing it to see how she would react just to screw with her? That kind of sounded like something he might do. Or it could've just been an accident that he'd touched her, but the way he was looking at her, that was no accident. She was sure of it.

Emma wasn't sure which theory she wanted to be true. Was she hoping he had begun to feel something for her like she seemed to be feeling for him? And what if she found out he did, would she act on it at all? Did she want to?

Or was she hoping it was all an accident and just her mind playing tricks on her, making her see things that weren't there. If that was the case she could ignore her own feelings, forget about them. Feelings, she couldn't handle feelings. She couldn't handle this, whatever  _this_  was.

_Fuck me! I can't handle this right now. I need to get out of here._

"The sheriff. He rented an apartment that I own," he explained as he made his way to a box sitting on the back display case.

 _Of course he did,_ Emma thought dejectedly.

"Another reason for my call, really. I wanted to offer you a keepsake."

"I don't need anything," she replied with a shrug. She put her walls firmly back up, not letting her face convey any emotions she may have been feeling at that moment.

"As you wish."

He had originally only asked her to his shop to offer her Graham's things because he felt like it and thought she might like something. Well that, and because he didn't want any of the sheriff's things to go to Regina. But after that interaction in the back room, he suddenly had the ulterior motive of trying to gauge if she were still emotionally attached to Graham in any way.

Gold could easily play it off like he had acted the way he had to manipulate Emma or test the waters and see how she would react but that wasn't actually the case. He couldn't explain it but seeing Emma after she'd clearly been avoiding him for so long had made him feel lighter somehow. He'd smiled involuntarily at the mere sound of his name on her lips.

Being alone with her again after so long had jarred him a bit. For some reason being around her seemed to soften him a bit. Maybe that's why she was the only one in town who wasn't afraid of him, when he was around her he didn't put that same front up that he did with everyone else, the front that he was some heartless, ruthless businessman. Or at the very least he only put that front up half as much with her as he did with everyone else.

That wasn't how he really was behind closed doors though. In private he was a man broken by lost love. It may seem pathetic and cliché for him act otherwise but he'd been labeled a coward most of his life he wasn't going to be seen that way ever again. And certainly a grown man broken by love and unwilling to let people close to him again would be seen as a coward.

But Emma had come to him that night all those weeks ago.  _She_  had burst into  _his_  home demanding that physical closeness and he couldn't help that he craved more of it; couldn't help that he was beginning to crave a different kind of closeness as well. She was a miraculous woman, and he was attracted to her in more ways than just the physical. He knew he shouldn't have slept with her that night but he really would've been a fool not to. When was he ever going to get a chance at a woman like that again, in this town anyway?

Damn her for doing that to him! Her intentions that night had been crystal clear, no emotions. And at the beginning he had thought that was fine, had joked about their night of passion and stolen her panties just to piss her off. Now though, he thought he might be feeling something for her.

When his finger had brushed against hers earlier it was almost electric. He hadn't meant to touch her. He just went to tap the badge as he spoke; he had always been the kind of man who gestured with his hands as he talked. It worried him how much he liked the feeling. He wasn't sure he could really handle feelings like that again, and especially unrequited ones. But were they really unrequited?

They way she had looked at him and the way she had opened up to him by accident told a different story. Maybe right this very second she was having the same debate in her own mind, contemplating her own feelings and what they meant and wondering if he felt the same. The way she was speaking now practically screamed that she was trying to distance herself from him emotionally and she'd only let him in a fraction. Was she maybe trying to shove feelings for him deep down inside her never to surface again? He had a feeling he might never find out.

As Emma turned around to leave once again he spoke up once more, stopping her yet again.

"I'll give them to Mayor Mills," he said.

Emma whirled around to face him again. She didn't like that suggestion one bit.

"Seems like she was the closest thing he had to family."

"I'm not sure about that," she retorted. Her tone was definitely harder and more guarded than it had been moments ago in the back room.

"No love lost there I see," Gold commented.

 _Good,_ he thought. Her still hating the mayor, probably even more so now, would make her much more willing to work with him in the future to keep her in the position of sheriff. Going head to head against Regina definitely seemed to be something Emma would be up for.

Emma just glared back at him. Her eyes contained none of the softness they had before. Gold again wondered what was going on inside her mind.

With her looking so harshly at him, he had an all-consuming desire to try and see their softness once again. Maybe that's what promoted him to say what he did next because he certainly didn't plan on it when he invited her to his shop.

"Look, I fear that all of this stuff is headed directly for the trash bin, you really should take something. Look, his jacket?" He pulled said jacket from the box and held it up for her to see. His eyes were almost pleading with her to take something, anything.

She stole a quick glance at the jacket then uttered a quite, guarded "no" as she shook her head.

"No? Well look," and he set the jacket back down and began digging through the box. "Your boy might like these, don't you think?" he asked, pulling out a pair of walkie-talkies.

"You could play together," he added as he set them down on the display case.

Emma looked at them considering the man's words. Henry probably would like them but she really didn't want to accept them from Gold. Sure, they technically weren't his but it sure felt like if she took them it'd be accepting a gift from Mr. Gold and she really didn't want to do that. She also didn't like that he was offering her a gift since she technically had no legal claim to Graham's belongings and he shouldn't be offering them to her anyway.

"I don't-" she began.

"Please, they," he gave a sad, breathy laugh, "they grow up so fast."

Gold took a small step back from the counter resting one arm on the open box in front of him, the other resting on the edge of the counter. He looked at her softly, brows raising, imploring her to take the walkie-talkies for her and Henry.

"Thanks," she said, eyeing him warily.

Was that a slip like she had done earlier about admitting to not being ready to be sheriff? Or was he manipulating her somehow? She couldn't think of why that would be or what he could possibly accomplish by manipulating her into taking a set of walkie-talkies.

"You enjoy these with your boy," he said, halting her attempts to leave once again.

_What are you doing? He berated himself. Stop while you're ahead. She took the walkie-talkies. You don't need to say anything more._

But he couldn't help himself. Something about being around Emma made his own walls crumble like hers had earlier. He couldn't help but open up to her. He could see how much she cared about Henry and he wanted to help her bond with the boy.

"Your time together is precious, you know," he added. "That's the thing about children..." he paused. He was looking away from her now, a far off look in his eyes as though he were recalling an old memory. Perhaps he was.

"Before you know it," he went on, giving a small, sad shake of his head, "you lose them," he finished, looking back at her again.

Gold gave Emma a sad smile. It looked like a mask to her almost, like he was trying to hide a world of hurt and tears behind that small smile. It looked incredibly forced.

She gazed back at him, her brows pulled tight in confusion. This was an interesting side to Gold and it only made her find him more intriguing. Had he had a kid once? No one had ever mentioned that about him before, though she'd never asked either. She'd never had any reason to suspect he'd had a kid. Well she certainly did now.

Emma didn't trust herself in that moment to say anything at all so she walked out without so much as a "goodbye". She feared if she'd opened her mouth she'd try to comfort him or something or share her own anecdotes about losing, or in her case, giving up children. It was better that she just left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand, chapter 6. More from Desperate Souls...added a little bit more interaction between the two of them when Gold comes to see her at her apartment.

She didn't really feel like going back to the station yet though, so she decided to try and see if Henry was hanging out at his castle. It'd been a while since she'd seen him and she hoped he would be there. Plus she could give him the walkie-talkies.

Sure enough, when she arrived at the little beachfront park, Henry was sitting up in his castle. She hoped out of her bug, walkie-talkies in hand and made her way out to him.

"I brought you something," she said as she moved to sit down next to him, dangling her legs off the edge of the castle. "Thought we could use them together for operation cobra."

There was a pregnant pause as Henry contemplated her words and the walkie-talkie she had handed him. He was moping a bit and it tore at Emma's heart seeing him that way.

"Thanks," he muttered morosely.

"Come on," she said, bumping shoulders with him in an attempt to lighten the mood. "What's up? You've been ducking me for weeks."

Again there was a bit of a pause before Henry spoke.

"I think we should stop cobra stuff for a while. You don't play with the curse, look what happened to Graham."

"Henry, I told you, they did an autopsy. It was totally natural causes," Emma replied.

"Ok, whatever, you don't believe," he retorted coldly. "Good, that should keep you from messing with it," he amended. "And getting killed" he added ominously.

"You're worried about me?" She questioned.

"She killed Graham because be was good," he answered, referring to Regina. "And you're good."

Emma smiled lightly at that comment, "Henry-"

"Good loses. Good always loses, because good has to play fair. Evil doesn't," he implored. "She's evil," he added, once again referring to his mom. "This is probably best, don't want to upset her anymore," he ended. And then he got up, dropping his walkie-talkie back into Emma's hands and walking away, leaving her sitting alone on a kiddie play structure.

Emma set his walkie-talkie back down beside her, looking down sadly at it. That little get together had gone much better in her mind. As she sat there breathing in the brisk ocean air, she wondered if this was the kind of thing Gold had been talking about with losing children.

Emma sat there on Henry's castle breathing in the chill ocean air for a little while longer. It was relaxing. There was a soft, chill wind that bit lightly at her exposed skin. The air was so fresh there and it seemed to wash over her completely, calming her down a lot. Her mind became free of all the confusing thoughts she'd had about Gold earlier. And that was just what she had needed.

She stayed there for a good half hour before returning to the station. When she got back, she set her keys down at her desk, hesitated a moment then picked up the sheriff's badge intending to pin it on herself.

"Oh, sorry, that's not for you," Regina's voice called out, interrupting her. That calmness from sitting by the ocean disappeared instantaneously. She didn't want to deal with Regina right now. Her day had been interesting enough. And by interesting she meant that it hadn't gone like she had planned at all in about a dozen different ways.

"It's been two weeks," Emma retorted. "The promotion is automatic."

"Unless the Mayor appoints someone within the time period, which I'm doing today."

"So who's it gonna be?" Emma asked narrowing her eyes at the Mayor.

"After due reflection, Sidney Glass," Regina answered.

"Sidney from the newspaper? How does that even make sense?"

"Well he's covered the sheriff's office for as long as anyone can remember..." Regina trailed off.

"And he'll do whatever you want him to," Emma finished for her, knowing that was what the Mayor had been thinking. "You just can't stand the fact that things have been getting better around here, can you?"

"Better?" Regina asked nonplussed. "Are you referring to Graham's death as better?" She accused.

"No," Emma replied, shaking her head. That's not what he head meant at all and Regina knew damn well that's not what she meant.

"Graham was a good man, Ms. Swan. He made this town safe and forgive me for saying it but you have not earned the right to wear his badge."

"Graham picked me to be deputy," Emma retorted.

"He was wrong," Regina responded simply.

"No, he knew what he was doing. He freed this office from your leash. You're not getting it back," Emma vowed, and she damn well meant it, too.

"Actually I just did. Ms. Swan, you're fired." And in one quick movement, Regina snatched Graham's badge off the desk and left the office.

At this point, Emma was fuming. After huffing and puffing in the Mayor's wake for a few moments she gathered her things from her desk and headed home. The drive back to the apartment passed by in an angry blur. She hadn't remembered half of the drive and by the time she got there she noticed white-hot years of anger were on the verge of falling from her eyes.

Emma knew she should have taken a nice hot shower or something to clam herself back down after that encounter with Regina but that's not exactly what happened. When Mary Margaret walked through the door a rather concerning scene greeted her.

Emma had pulled her hair back into a messy pony tail and had long since parted with her red leather jacket and was apparently having a fight with the toaster. The music in the apartment was blaring too, some rock song that she didn't know.

As Mary Margaret closed the door, Emma had just picked up a knife from the counter and was attacking the toaster with it. Mary Margaret had also noticed the 3/4 empty bottle of scotch and glass of amber liquid sitting out on the counter. To her it didn't seem like a good mix, all those things. She hoped the bottle had been about that empty when Emma found it and that she hasn't drank that much of it already.

Mary Margaret quickly strode over to the counter and turned off the radio. Emma's head shot up in response. Apparently she hadn't heard Mary Margaret come in.

"Toaster broken?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Wasn't when I started with it," she huffed, "pretty sure it is now. Just needed to hit something," she added.

"What's going on?" her roommate questioned, looking a tad bit concerned.

"Regina fired me so she could put one of her own puppets in as sheriff," Emma replied, still poking at the toaster with the knife.

"It's my job," Emma pouted.

"I've never heard you so passionate about it before. What happened?"

"I don't know, I just-I know I want it back," and again she went back to her intense battle with the toaster.

"There must be a reason," Mary Margaret prodded.

There was a soft knock on the door, Mary Margaret's eyes shifted to the door for a moment before returning to Emma as she spoke again.

"Maybe I just want to beat her," Emma replied as she went to answer the door. Mary Margaret's eyes shifted to the door and away again wondering who could possibly be there. Rarely anyone came to call at the apartment. The only time she could remember that happening was when Emma had come to move in with her and when Mr. Gold had come there looking for Emma.

"Good evening Ms. Swan." Came a smooth Scottish accent from the door as Emma answered it. Mary Margaret was shocked it was Mr. Gold again. For as long as she could remember Gold had never come to her apartment, not even to pick up rent, until Emma came to town anyway. She wondered what it was he wanted this time.

_Gold? What does he want now?_

She wasn't sure what he was doing there but it definitely threw her off a bit. She had sort of forgotten about their earlier encounter. Her disappointment with how things with Henry had gone and her anger at Regina had eclipsed it entirely.

At the sight of him she'd almost gotten a little excited, thinking for a moment he'd come there to help ease her troubled mind like he had when Graham died but then she realized how foolish a thought that was. This was nowhere near as upsetting as that but still in her frenzied state of mind, she couldn't help but think how that might actually calm her down, or at the very least it would feel damn good. Though she really didn't need that to happen again and add to her confusion about the man before her and what she had been feeling towards him earlier.

"Sorry for the intrusion, there's something I'd like to discuss with you," Gold continued bringing Emma back to the present.

Mouth agape, Emma looked back at Mary Margaret expectantly.

"I'll let you two talk," she said and scurried off.

Mary Margaret had taken Emma's look to mean she was to make herself scarce. Normally she would've been right, but Emma had looked at her hoping she would somehow get rid of Gold for her or something instead. She wasn't sure she trusted herself to be alone with him. She'd only had a tiny bit to drink but that didn't mean it hadn't already lowered her inhibitions a bit. But he was here and she had to deal with it.

"Come on in," she nearly barked, motioning to him with the hand that still held the knife.

"Thank you," he replied. As he stepped inside, cane clacking quietly on the floor as he did so, Emma noticed he was carrying a large binder under his other arm.

"I uh, I heard about what happened," he stated. Gold knew that Regina would try to fire Emma. He'd been prepared for that and now it was time to set his plan into motion to secure Emma's place as sheriff. "Such an injustice," he added.

"Yeah, well, what's done is done," Emma huffed. She walked by him and set the toaster and knife down on the kitchen table.

"Spoken like a true fighter," Gold replied sarcastically. This wasn't the Emma he knew. He both wanted to comfort her (though not in the way he had weeks ago) but also wanted tell her to suck it up and show him the Emma he knew, the fighter, the savior.

"I don't know what chance I have, she's mayor," she began, tossing her hands up in defeat, "and I'm...well, me," she finished lamely her hands coming to rest on her hips.

The way she had said "me" was as though she thought that meant nothing. Oh how wrong she was Gold had thought. The poor woman doesn't have any clue how special she is or what she's capable of and he wasn't even talking about her being the savior. He was just talking about her, Emma as she was in this world. The moment she had stood up to him back with the whole ordeal with Ashley, he had earned his unfailing respect.

It was a shame, he thought, how little she seemed to valued herself. She seemed to have no idea how intelligent and strong she was. Deep down he figured she must realize this but her anger and recent defeat was filling her with self-doubt. All he knew was hat he could see it and was determined to help her see it as well.

"You aren't giving yourself nearly enough credit, dearie."

She looked back at him skeptically.

"Ms. Swan," Gold continued as he looked down at the ground and licked his lips. "Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things," he paused looking back up at her. "Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more." He smiled mischievously at her.

She just looked blankly back at him.

"How would you like a benefactor?" He asked.

"Benefactor?" She tilted her head and raised her brows in question.

"Do you mind?" He asked and motioned to the table next to them. She shrugged and shook her head. They then both moved to sit across from one another.

"You know," Gold started as he took his seat "it really is quite shocking how few people study the town charter." He then held up the binder he'd brought with him.

"The town charter?"

"It's quite comprehensive. The Mayor's authority...well maybe she's not quite as powerful as she seems."

He flashed that winning smile of his at her when he'd finished. She couldn't help but let her own lips turn upwards in a bit of a smile of her own. She liked where this was going. He was going to help her win back her spot as sheriff, this was almost better than sex...almost. She found her self really starting to like the man now.

"Yeah? How do you mean?" Emma asked, her anger gone in an instant, replaced by a newfound determination. If there was anyone in town she felt had the know-how to knock Regina down a peg, it was Gold. She didn't know exactly why he'd chosen to be on her side of this battle but she was glad he did.

"Well it appears it's not within the Mayor's power to actually appoint someone to the position of sheriff. She only has the power to put forth a  _candidate_. If there is more than one person willing to put forth their name for sheriff, then the town charter calls for an election to decide."

"Excellent...well wait, that means I'll have to campaign to win the election. I'm new here, what makes you think I can win an election?"

"Simple, I have faith, Ms. Swan. You just have to show the town you have what it takes to be sheriff, that you're the kind of woman the town wants and needs patrolling their streets."

"Ok...and how exactly do I do that?" She asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Oh I'm sure one of us will think of something," he replied evasively. "So, will you put yourself in as a candidate?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I will," she vowed, stronger the second time. That sense of determination in her was growing. Then it faltered a bit as she wondered again why he was helping her.

"I uh, I gotta ask...does this, you helping me, have anything to do with, well, you know..." she trailed off knowing he'd know what she was getting at.

"You mean am I only helping you because we slept together?" He asked as though he were simply asking about the weather.

"Shh," Emma hissed, eyes wide at his audacity to say that out loud when Mary Margaret was in the apartment somewhere possibly eavesdropping. "Yes, that's what I mean," she hissed as she looked around as though expecting Mary Margaret to come bursting out announcing that she'd overheard his words.

Good chuckled at her reaction. It had been exactly what he expected her to do and she hadn't disappointed. Vaguely he wondered if she would ever react more positively when speaking of the night they'd spent together.

"No, that's not why I've decided to help you. Regardless of what happened between us, I'm fairly certain I'd offer to help you take down Regina."

"You sure about that?" Emma asked, not entirely sure that that was true.

"Pretty damn, but what happened can't be undone so there's really no way to know for sure. I suppose you just have to have some faith, dearie."

"Yeah, well that's not really my style," she admitted.

"So I've noticed," he replied, raising his brows. "You really ought to try it some time, you know," he said with a soft, pleading look.

He knew it was silly for him to suggest that she put faith in him given what he had planned, but his plans would make them both happy in the long run. She would be angry with him for a while he was certain of it but it was a risk he have to take. She'd thank him eventually or forgive him. Of that, he had no doubt.

"Oh, and while I've got you, how'd the walkie-talkies go over with your boy?" He asked brightly.

Emma visibly deflated at his words. "Oh, uh, not too well actually. He's still a little down about Graham dying. He, uh, didn't even take it, he gave it back and just sort of walked away. It didn't go at all like I'd planned."

And there she went opening up to him like that. How did he always do that? Was he working some sort of voodoo magic, mind trick shit on her or something? Most people had to chip away forever to break through her walls like that and here he was walking right through them like some sort of phantom.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He really looked it too. "That's a shame. I'm sure he'll come around. He just needs some time. He's a great kid, you know, your boy, Henry."

"Uh, yeah he is. Thanks-well I don't know why I'm thanking you, it's not like I had anything to do with how he turned out..."

"I don't think that's true. I think there's something to be said about genetics. I certainly see some of you in him; intelligent and headstrong among the most noticeable, though I can't say I know him all that well...or you for that matter."  _And that is a true tragedy_ , he added in his mind.

The way he said that and the smile he gave her afterwards said to her that he wished he did know her better. She couldn't believe it, but the action made her blush.

"Headstrong, huh? You think so?" She asked with a smirk but shifting her eyes away from his.

"Oh yes, without a doubt. It didn't take me long to convince you, the new kid on the block to go head-to-head with the mayor, arguably the second most powerful person in town," he replied, sitting up tall as he said that last bit.

"And I suppose you think you're the most powerful?"

"Quite."

"And by the way I was talking about Henry, not me," she said, arching a brow at him.

Gold gave a hearty laugh. "My mistake, dearie. Well I only meant that I have heard rumor of his unwavering belief in his theory that everyone in town is a cursed fairytale character and you're here to save us all. I'm sorry," he went on, "was it not headstrong of him to steal a credit card and take a day trip to Boston to collect you, bring you back here to end a curse placed by an Evil Queen he believes to be his mother?"

"Ok, ok, yeah I guess you could say he might have gotten that from me," she conceded, laughing a bit herself now.

"Without a doubt," he stated. "I'm sure it's nice for you to be with your boy and see so much of yourself in him," he finished sadly, opening up to her once again, though this time on purpose.

He wanted her to know that he was human, that he understood her motivation for wanting to be sheriff. He thought that if she knew just a little bit about him and that he'd had a kid once she might connect with him on some level. And then she might forgive him easier. After all, he wanted the same thing she did, he wanted his son back just like she wanted hers. Surely she would understand his desire to do whatever he had to do to accomplish that.

"Yeah, yeah it is. Now that I'm with him again I don't know what I'd do without him, you know?"

"More than you'd think," he responded sadly.

There it was again, him alluding to the fact that he'd had a kid once. She really badly wanted to ask him about it. He had brought it up on purpose; he didn't have to do that. Maybe he'd been casting out a line, wanting her to ask.

"Did-did you have a kid?" She asked tentatively. She had to know. And he wanted her to know, she could tell.

"Many years ago I did. I uh, I lost him," he answered looking down at the table.

"You don't mean...?" She questioned, mind immediately thinking the worst.

"No he didn't die. Well, I don't know that for sure, he could have since then but...it's kind of a complicated tale really..." He trailed off.

That was as far as he was willing to go right now. And it was true it was complicated but she didn't need to know all of it. She just needed to know enough. Well actually she didn't  _need_ to know anything but he wanted to tell her. He just wasn't ready to share everything with her. He still had no idea how she felt about him and he didn't want to risk letting her that far in if it would only come back later to bite him in the ass somehow.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," Emma responded hastily. She felt bad for asking now even though he definitely wanted her to know. She was sure of it; otherwise he wouldn't have said anything at all.

"You don't have to apologize, Ms. Swan," he said, eyes rising to meet hers once again. "If there's anyone in town I'd think would understand it would be you...I just, it's not something I like to discuss in great detail." His eyes were so soft, with just the tiniest hint of a glisten to them.

Before Emma could respond and tell him that she did in fact understand and that it was perfectly fine if he didn't want to talk about it, Mary Margaret's voice interrupted them from her doorway.

"Emma? Um, can I come back out yet, I'm kinda hungry, I was going to make dinner before..."

"Oh, uh-" she muttered, glancing at Gold.

"My apologizes, Ms. Blanchard," Gold chimed in. "Of course you can come back out, this is your home. I'll get out of your hair."

Then Gold stood up from the table, nodding at Mary Margaret for her to come back out of hiding. He gathered the binder he'd brought with him off the table, grabbed his cane where it was leaning against the table and made for the door. Emma stood up with him and walked him to the door.

As Emma went to close the door behind him he turned to look at her.

"Good night...Emma," he muttered just quietly enough for only her to hear.

Her mouth fell open slightly at his use of her first name as she watched him walk away. It sounded weird coming from him. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, just...different. Aside from the day he'd first met her, he'd never used her first name and even then he hadn't technically called her name, he's just said it to comment on it.

He'd called it lovely and it wasn't until he'd said it again just now that she'd ever thought it sounded lovely. The way it slid from his accented lips made it sound so much better than when anyone else said it. When other people said it, it was just a name but the way he said it made it feel like a soft caress. She liked it. A lot. Too much, really.

Realizing she was still staring out the doorway and Gold had already descended out of view, she gently she closed the door the rest of the way and turned back to face Mary Margaret.

Mary Margaret was giving her a questioning look.

"Sorry about that," Emma said lamely.

"Oh no, that's ok, I was just hungry and I didn't know how much longer he might be staying. What did he wa-oh god, do you think I should have invited him to stay for dinner?"

Mary Margaret looked seriously concerned that she may have been rude or offended him by not doing so.

"Oh, no, you're fine. He probably wouldn't save stayed anyway."

"Oh ok, good," she replied looking markedly relieved. "So what did he want anyway?"

"Uh, he heard about what happened with Regina and offered to help me win back my seat as sheriff."

"Huh," Mary Margaret responded. "Is that even possible?"

"Yeah, apparently. According to the town charter, whatever that is, she can't actually appoint someone as sheriff. As long as there's at least two people who want to be sheriff there has to be an election."

"Oh well that's interesting," she commented.

"Yeah, who knew there was a town charter," Emma replied, misunderstanding what Mary Margaret found to be interesting.

"No, I meant him offering to help you stay sheriff and telling you about that thing in the charter," Mary Margaret clarified, her brows furrowing.

"Oh yeah, uh, I thought so too. He said something about a common enemy so maybe it's less about helping me and more about just pissing off Regina."

"I suppose that could be it," Mary Margaret replied. "You don't think he'll ask for another favor from you?"

Emma tilted her head as she thought about that. "Nah, I don't think so. Last time, with Ashley, I owed him a favor 'cause I screwed up his little deal and he didn't get what he wanted. This time, we're both getting something we want. Don't ask me why exactly, 'cause I don't have a clue, but he doesn't want Regina's puppet, Sidney, in as sheriff anymore than I do."

"Ok, well just promise me you'll watch out for yourself and be careful around him," Mary Margaret said as she moved around the kitchen preparing dinner.

"You know, I really don't think he's all  _that_  bad. I think he might be a little misunderstood."

Mary Margaret halted her movements to throw an extremely skeptical look in Emma's direction. Apparently Mary Margaret thought it very unlikely that Mr. Gold was simply  _misunderstood_.

"Ok, yeah, he's not the greatest guy in the world as far as morals and such goes but trust me there's more going on with him than people think," Emma added vaguely.

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Just…something he said earlier that's all."

"Care to share?"

"No, actually I don't," Emma replied somewhat defensively. "Its his business to tell, not mine."

"Fair enough, I guess," though her tone suggested she was still curious about what Gold could've possibly said to make Emma feel that way.

"Good, that's out of the way. Anything I can do to help with dinner?" She asked, changing the subject. And she put Gold and everything relating to him to the back of her mind once more.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eh, this chapter is sort of lame, a bit more of Desperate Souls and just a bit of Golden Swan interaction. More will def be in the next chapter which I might post soon just 'cause this one is kinda lame. But enjoy anyway :D

When Emma got up and around she immediately headed to the Mayor's office. There was a crowd of people there and it made her immensely happy that she'd be breaking the news in front of so many other people, that way Regina wouldn't be able to retaliate the way she would want to.

The look Regina had given her had went above and beyond her expectations. Her look had been simply murderous; being shown up in front of a crowd of people apparently didn't sit to well with "Madame-fucking-Mayor".

A smug grin had risen to Emma's lips when Regina had announced that Sidney would be running for sheriff as well, because his face clearly conveyed that he had no knowledge of that little fact at all. It would be a cakewalk taking down the pathetic reporter in the election; his heart wasn't even in it. Hers was though, she was doing this for Henry and she was determined to win; to show him that good can win and show that she was as good as he seemed to see her.

And Regina was damn right they'd learn a little something about the will of the people. They'd learn that the people were sick of Regina's underhanded tyranny of the town. The people of Stroybrooke would finally know what it was like to have a sheriff who wasn't simply a pawn in Regina's little games. And she was going to be that sheriff for them. Seeing the look in Regina's eyes made it completely worth accepting Gold's help in regaining her seat as sheriff.

She'd definitely have to thank him if things worked out in her favor. But for the time being she had other things to deal with. She wanted to let her biggest fan know that she wasn't going to back down from Regina, that she was going to fight for her spot as sheriff. Henry would be thrilled.

Down the road, in the pawnshop, the little bell on Gold's door chimed, announcing a visitor. Unfortunately he knew it wasn't going to be Emma who was stopping by to pay him a visit.

Gold knew just by the look in Regina's eyes when she stepped through the door of his shop that Emma had informed her of the loophole he'd shown her. The fact that she turned the closed sign outwards on the door was simply confirmation.

"Regina. Shall I move some things, make a little space for your rage?" He quipped.

Gold had been fairly certain she knew he'd been the one to tell Emma about that little loophole. And he'd been fairly certain she'd stop by and have some words with him about it too. He didn't care much for what she had to say though, but he'd hear her out anyway, just to see what it was she had to say.

"You found that loophole in the town charter." It was a statement, not a question.

"Legal documents, contracts, if you like, have always been a fascination of mine," he commented as he made his way around his shop.

"Yes, you love to trifle with technicalities," she muttered dryly.

"I like small weapons, you see. The needle. The pen. The fine point of a deal," Gold explained in almost a whisper, like it was some kind of secret. "Subtlety. Not your style, I know," he quipped.

"You're a bastard," she spat.

"Ohoho," he chuckled sinisterly. "I think your grief's getting the better of you Regina. Shame what happened to Graham," he noted. He knew it would anger her, him mentioning Graham.

"Don't you talk about him, you know nothing," she threatened, pointing a finger at him accusingly. She walked his way, standing opposite him over the display case.

"What is there to know? He died." Of course he knew there was much more to the story than that, but he wasn't ready to let her know he remembered his past life. Not yet. Though if she hadn't caught on to his subtle hints by now, he wondered whether she ever would. Again, subtlety wasn't quite Regina's style.

"Are you really going up against me?" Regina asked, changing the subject.

"Not directly," he answered. "We are after all both invested in the common good, we're just picking different sides," he explained to her simply.

"Well I think you picked a really slow horse this time," she started. "It's not like you to back a loser," she added.

"She hasn't lost yet," he noted.

"She will."

It was clear to Gold that Regina certainly believed Emma would lose. He knew better, of course. His plans rarely failed. He was certain his plan for Emma would go off without a hitch. He'd planned it well.

"Never underestimate someone who's acting for their child," he advised.

"He's not her child," she replied menacingly. "Not legally," she amended as an afterthought.

"Now who's trifling with technicalities," he pointed out to Regina's immense chagrin. If looks could kill, Gold most certainly would have been dead at that moment.

* * *

"How was school?" Emma asked Henry, dropping roughly into the booth next to him. He was reading an article in the paper pretty intently. She thought that was a little weird for a ten year old, especially her ten year old. Shouldn't he be reading his fairy tale book or something, coming up with more ways to convince her of his wild theory?

"Ok," he answered rather coldly.

 _Uh-oh,_  Emma thought.  _What did I do now?_  She was hoping that he might have cooled off a bit from yesterday and would be willing to talk to her again. Emma hated it that he was being so short with her. It seemed like every time she had something good to tell him, it ended up blowing up in her face.

"You're reading that paper pretty hard," she told him.

Huffing, Henry flipped the paper over in his hand to show her what the article was about.

"Sidney wrote it," he said passing it over to her for her to read.

It was a bit of a shock for Emma to see her mug shot from so many years ago staring back at her. The title read "Ex-jailbird Emma Swan Birthed Babe Behind Bars". Had Emma not been so confused about how he'd found out about that bit of her past, she might have commended him on his use of alliteration.

"Is it a lie?" He asked her.

"No," she admitted.

"I was born in jail?"

"Yes," she choked out. "These records were supposed to be sealed," she clarified, slapping the paper back down on the booth in front of them. "Tell me you're not scarred for life." She couldn't handle the guilt if he was.

"I'm not…well, not by this," he assured her.

"Good. Then let's throw this out and we'll get our news from something more reliable," she stated, grabbing up the paper and folding it in her hands, "like the internet," she added, only half joking really.

"This is what I've been trying to tell you, good can't beat evil, because good doesn't do this kind of thing," Henry implored. "My mom plays dirty, that's why you can't beat her. Ever!"

The look in her poor kids eyes really told her that he believed that, that he believed that she wouldn't beat Regina because Regina was "evil" and she was "good". Rather than tear her down and make her feel like her son didn't believe in her, his words stirred a fire within her and she was even more determined than before to beat Regina and remain as sheriff.

"I have a new ally," Emma began, trying to help him see that she was really trying to win for him and that she had it under control. "Mr. Gold says he's going to help—"

"Mr. Gold? He's even worse than she is," Henry cut her off. "You already owe him one favor, you don't want to owe him anymore. Don't do this," he pleaded with her.

Emma turned her head away from him as she replayed Henry's words in her mind. It concerned her a bit that Henry thought Mr. Gold was worse than Regina. She didn't see it that way at all, though she suspected her judgment might be a little impaired given all that had gone on between them recently, what with sleeping with him and that odd, tender moment they'd shared in his shop, not to mention his visit last night.

She prayed she wasn't wrong about Gold this time, and that he was sincere in offering her his help. The feelings she'd been having for him had only increased when he'd stopped by to offer to help her last night and she really didn't want to be proven wrong. She'd fallen into the same trap before, finally trusting someone only to be made a fool of later, to be used, she didn't want to be making the same mistake again.

The thing that really worried her about Henry saying it versus if someone else had said that to her was that kids, especially her kid, tended to have very good instincts. Kids always said whatever they felt too, if they didn't like someone, they were pretty open about it. Emma sincerely hoped that Henry was wrong because she was already pretty deep into this business of Gold being her benefactor. It wasn't really like she could back out now.

Idly, Emma looked down at the folded newspaper in her hand, getting angry all over again. Emma knew that no matter how good a reporter Sidney was, there was no way he was able to find her sealed juvy records without help. And Emma knew just who would have been able to help him do it, too. That was just another reason to add that bitch, Regina to her shit list.

"Come on, kid," Emma said, standing up from the booth. "How about I take you home, ok? We can talk more about this some other time. I've got some things I need to take care of."  _Like finding out how the hell your mom managed to find that record_ , Emma added in her mind.

"Fine," he answered morosely, following her out of the booth. He didn't look happy to be going back home but there wasn't much she could do about that. Legally he wasn't hers, for the time being anyway, so she had to follow the rules. If she didn't, no doubt Regina would certainly use that against her in the election as well.

* * *

Just as Emma had suspected, Regina denied any involvement or wrongdoing in regards to her juvy records being exposed to the whole town. It really pissed Emma off that Regina was playing so dirty with this election thing, not just because it was a pain to deal with but because she knew it was screwing with Henry. The poor kid already had a wild theory that his mom was some evil queen; Regina wasn't doing herself any favors by heading an illegal smear campaign against her.

As Emma followed Regina out of her office she was barely even listening, she was so mad at the way Regina was acting and how she seemed to not give a shit about what this was doing to Henry. Though she did think she caught something about a debate and that really threw her off. Nobody had said anything about a debate. She didn't want to participate in a damn debate. She just wanted her job back, the job that was given to her, and the job that was rightfully hers.

"The debate?" Emma asked.

"Yes, Ms. Swan, there's a debate," she answered in that damn patronizing tone of hers.

Then Regina turned on her heels and headed toward the stairwell. Emma rolled her eyes before following along behind her. This conversation wasn't quite over yet.

"You two can talk about jail time and juvy records and maybe even your new association with Mr. Gold."

Emma didn't like the inflection Regina had put onto the end of that sentence. It sounded accusatory to her and she didn't appreciate it. She didn't know what exactly Regina might be accusing her of with that tone, but whatever it was she knew it wouldn't be good. Emma hoped Regina wasn't subtly hinting that she suspected or knew about what happened between her and Gold but Regina's next comment did make her worry a bit.

"He's a snake, Ms. Swan. You need to be careful who you get into bed with," she warned dryly.

Emma tried to keep her cool as best she could but she didn't like the way Regina had said that. She was certain there was no way Regina could know about her and Gold but still the comment had bothered her.

Why say that? Why use those words specifically? She could've said anything and gotten the same message across, to be wary of Mr. Gold, but it was the word choice that really jarred her.

Not only that but she also didn't like how Regina was talking about Gold. She'd been starting to warm up to him a bit since he'd decided to help her and that was before he'd opened up to her about losing his son. He might not be the nicest guy in town by any means, but he was willing to help her in her moment of need and genuinely seemed to want to help her out and that was enough for her at the moment.

"I'm not getting into bed with anyone," she stated as convincingly as she could. "I'm just trying to fight fire with—"

Any of what Emma had been about to say was abruptly cut off by an intense explosion. The door in front of them blew in towards them violently. Emma was thrown back a few feet by the blast.

Emma looked back at where Regina had fallen. She seemed in decent shape, she'd only fallen down a few steps but a piece of railing had been blown off the stairs and had landed on her leg. Emma reached down and pulled it off of her, extending her hand to Regina as she did so.

"Come on, we've got to get out of here!" Emma shouted over the noise of the blaze.

"I can't move," Regina yelled back a bit of panic dripping into her voice. "You have to get me out. Help me," she pleaded.

Emma looked down at Regina and then to the only exit, the one where the fire was. The flames weren't too high and were relatively sparse. If she was quick she could run through real quick and grab the fire extinguisher so that she could clear the fire away and make it easier for her to help Regina.

She ignored Regina's whimpers about her leaving her there. There was no point trying to tell her what her plan was she just needed to do it. So, Emma ran through the door into the flames coming back seconds later with the fire extinguisher. She cleared a path for the two of them through the fire easily and in a matter of no time, they were outside clear of the fire and safe.

When they made it outside Emma set Regina down as gently as she could. Though apparently it wasn't gently enough for Queen Bee.

"Ow, ow, my ankle. Set me down gently," she shouted at Emma, hopping on one foot.

"Seriously! You're complaining about how I saved your life?!"

Typical. She does the right thing and saves the sorry bitch from a fire but heaven forbid she get a goddamn thank you for her troubles. She had risked her own life running through the fire to get the extinguisher to come back and save Regina and this is what she got for it?

"The firemen are here," Regina said, unnecessarily as everyone within a two-mile radius could hear the fire truck as it pulled up, its sirens blaring. "It's not like we were really in danger.

"Fine," Emma began with a shake of her head, "next time I'll just—No, you know what, next time I'll do the same damn thing and the time after that because that's what decent human beings do, that's what  _good_ people do." Then she left Regina standing there. The paramedics could take care of her now; she could leave and not feel guilty.

Emma walked over to where Mary Margaret and a few others had gathered to watch as the firemen put the rest of the fire out.

"Did you really rescue Regina?" Mary Margaret asked in wonder.

"She did!" Henry exclaimed running over to them, coming out of nowhere. The firemen said it. They saw it!"

His eyes were alight with admiration as he confirmed that Emma had saved Regina. Only as Emma saw that look in his eyes did she really understand how badly she wanted to beat Regina and be sheriff for him. It was really all for him.

"You're a hero," Ruby chimed in.

"You should see if they have a picture of the rescue," Mary Margaret suggested.

"We can make campaign posters," Granny added after her.

"Yeah, that's a great idea," Archie acknowledged. Then the three of them scurried off in search of a picture. It filled Emma with joy that they though of her as a hero and were so excited to help her campaign.

Emma looked down at Henry beside her. This was exactly the kind of thing she had needed to boost the kid's spirits. Sure she would have preferred that it had been something a lot less life threatening but she couldn't change what happened. She was just glad everyone was ok and that Henry was happy again.

"This is how good wins," Emma said to Henry, taking a knee beside him and taking his hands in her own. "You do something good and people see it and then they want to help you," she explained with a smile.

"Maybe you're right," Henry conceded a goofy grin gracing his small features.

"See Henry, you don't have to fight dirty," she declared.

But just as she said it she caught a glimpse of the pile of rubbish the firemen had cleared out from the town hall. There was a wound up rag charred at one end lying in the debris. The way it was charred at just one end looked to her like someone might had lit one end of it before throwing it into the town hall or something along those lines. And she hated that the thought came to her mind but the first person she thought of that might do something like that was Gold.

She hated that she immediately thought of him when faced with the question "who would set a fire on purpose?" But more than that, she hated that her gut was telling her she was right. She had started feeling something for the guy lately and she wanted to think he wasn't all that bad but this, this was pretty bad.

He had put her at risk with this little stunt, assuming it had been him, and it really bothered her. She had thought he might have feelings for her as well but this told her he didn't give two shits about her. She could've gotten really hurt. If the blast had been stronger she could've hit her head and gotten knocked unconscious. And as bad as he may still be, she didn't think he would really try to kill Regina. Just to help get her elected as sheriff? No, that was too much, even for him. But still she was pretty sure he'd set the fire, now she just needed to know why. So, she told Henry she'd talk to him later and headed to Gold's.

Emma whipped the door open to Gold's shop. He was standing there in the semi-darkness wiping his fingers with a little piece of cloth. To her own annoyance she couldn't help but notice that he wasn't wearing his suit jacket and even more annoying she couldn't help but notice how well he pulled the look off.

"Loads of visitors today," he greeted, sparing her the slightest of glances.

She gaped at him in shock. The calm way he greeted her; the smug look he had; she knew it was him. And worse still, he knew she knew it, too. Almost like he wanted her to know he'd done it. He wasn't shocked at all to see her there; he knew she would come to see him, to confront him. Coming into the shop a bit more she slammed the door behind her.

"I do hope you're not going to break my little bell," he hissed, returning his gaze to her.

"You set the fire," she accused, waving the charred rag in his direction.

Gold scoffed lightly at her. "I've been right here Ms. Swan."

"Take a whiff," she demanded, walking further towards him. "It smells like your sheep crap oil. Turns out it's flammable."

"Whoa. Are you sure?" He asked in mock surprise. "There's some construction work going on at city hall at the moment. There's lots of flammable solvents used in construction," he continued, providing an alternative theory though they both knew it was just for show.

"Why did you do it?" She asked, not even bothering to entertain the idea that it hadn't been him and that lanolin stuff.

" _If_  I did it," he began, scooting past her and making his way to the other side of the display case so that it separated them. "If I did it that would be because you could not win without something big," he continued shooting a glance at her once again. "Something like…oh I don't know, being the hero in a fire," he ended throwing his arm up in demonstration.

"How could you even know I'd be there at the right time?" She questioned darkly.

"Maybe Regina's not the only one with eyes and ears in this town. Or maybe I'm just intuitive," he answered, his eyes coming to rest on hers. "We're I involved," he clarified, smirking at her.

"I could've left her there," Emma theorized.

"Not the type," he pointed out. And the bastard was right too; she wouldn't have ever left Regina there to die no matter how much she hated her.

"I can't go along with this," she declared.

"You just did," he returned with that smug smirk still in place. "This is just the price of election Ms. Swan."

"A price I'm not willing to pay," she replied, tossing the soiled rag on top of the display case. "Find another sucker."

"Ok, go ahead, expose me," he called out as she turned to leave the shop. "But if you do just think of what you'll be exposing and what you'll be walking away from."

Emma didn't even want to think about all the different things that could mean. So, she didn't say anything back to him, she just turned once again to leave.

"Oh yes, and, uh, who you might be disappointing," he called after her.

She didn't give him the satisfaction of stopping though, she just continued right on out the door only sparing a fraction of a second to send a scathing glare at him as she slammed the door shut behind her.

He was just trying to bait her, use her love of Henry and her hunger for Henry's acceptance to piss her off or make her reconsider exposing him just so she could still look like a hero to Henry. She didn't rise to the bait though; she left him standing there in his shop alone. He didn't deserve her anger even, not after what he'd just done.

As Gold stood there, hands resting on the display case in front of him a tiny part of him was regretting what he had just done. Emma had looked at him with such loathing as she walked out and it hurt more than he cared to admit. He tried to tell himself that it was all for the best, that it was what needed to happen for his plan to work, but that didn't mean that he had to like it.

Ever since they had both inadvertently opened up to one another back at his shop the other day, and how he'd purposely opened up to her last night, he couldn't ignore the feelings that bubbled up inside of him. He was starting to have genuine feelings for the woman and it truly broke his heart that he'd done what he had but again, it had to be done. He just hoped that when everything was said and done she would forgive him; that she would see it his way and see that it was all a necessary part of his plan.

A nagging sensation in his mind told him that it wouldn't work out that way though. Emma was a stubborn, strong woman; she wasn't likely to forgive him very readily. And oh how he wished she would. He wasn't sure he could take seeing that look of loathing in her eyes when looking at him, at least not after he'd gotten a taste for the soft way she had looked at him the other day.

Regardless of how badly Gold wanted to chase after her and apologize and let her in on his plan and explain to her why he had done what he did, he knew he couldn't. For his plan to work she had to be completely in the dark about his end objective. She needed to hate him enough to expose him for real without knowing that's what he wanted her to do otherwise it wouldn't work. Instead he decided he would lay low for the remainder of the week and let her anger towards him stew up until the day of the debate and vote, which would take place immediately after the debate.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the last ch. was lame but this one has a bit of GS interaction, some conversation and lots of inner turmoil. Enjoy. Read and review! or not but I love reviews.

When the day of the debate finally came around, Emma made her way to city hall with Mary Margaret not on her heels for moral support and such. She'd been thinking about it all week and knew she had to tell everyone about what Gold had done, expose him. It was the right thing to do, even if it made her lose the election. She didn't want to see Henry disappointed in her for losing but she also didn't want him believing a lie.

So, after Sidney had rattled off the speech Regina had clearly written for him (she had been mouthing along with him while he recited it) it was her turn.

"Most of you know I've had what you might call a 'troubled past' but have been able to overlook it because of the whole 'hero' thing." As her eyes roamed over the crowd she caught Mr. Gold's eye. Her resolve to expose him grew strong upon seeing the smug look he gave her. "But here's the thing, the fire was a set up. Mr. Gold agreed to support me in this election, but I didn't know that meant he was going to set a fire. I don't have definitive evidence, but I know. And the worst part of it all is that I let you believe it was real, and I can't win that way."

Her eyes shifted to Henry. "I'm sorry." She spoke it to him more than she did the crowd but she meant it to them as well.

As her "speech" concluded, Mr. Gold stood from his seat and began to leave the city hall. Most everyone shifted their gaze quietly to him as he did so. Emma was no exception, she watched him the whole way out. He sent her a chilling, disappointed glare. It was all for show though. He had to look upset. He couldn't let on that she'd done exactly what he wanted her to do.

After the debate she had gone to the diner for a drink. She hadn't been surprised when Regina had walked in but she had certainly been surprised to be informed that she had actually won the election. She'd spit out half her drink when Regina handed the badge to her.

Apparently the people in Storybrooke were pretty impressed that she had the guts to stand up to and expose Mr. Gold, even without proof. The fact that she was willing to say anything at all had a profound impact on the town. Regina said the vote had been close but she had won by a noticeable margin. She really couldn't believe it.

The best thing though, was that Henry looked so proud of her. The look in his eyes was the definition of hero worship. They shined so brightly as he looked at her. It made her so happy to see that look in his eyes.

She was so happy that she had her job back and that Henry was happy, that she didn't even really care anymore about how dirty Gold had played trying to get her elected. Nobody had gotten seriously injured or anything so it wasn't that big of a deal. It didn't make it ok, someone easily could have gotten hurt, but they hadn't and she supposed that's all that really mattered.

The next morning when Emma got to the police station, she was carting her few belongings that had adorned her deputy's desk, such as the framed picture of Henry that she had. She gave a contented sigh as she walked into the enclosed sheriff's office and set her things down on her new desk. Looking up she noticed Graham's leather jacket hanging on the coat rack. Involuntarily she gave a soft smile at his memory.

"The sheriff's jacket," Gold's smooth Scottish accent came from the door, startling her so much she jumped a bit. "I thought you might want it after all." He wasn't looking at her as he spoke but there was just the tiniest hint of sadness in his eyes. She thought that was kind of weird, but she ignored it.

"You do know I'm armed right," she quipped. She was feeling so light and happy that her playful, witty nature came out regardless of the fact that she was mad at him for what he'd done.

"It's all part of the act, my dear, political theatre in an actual theatre. I knew no one was going to vote for you unless we gave you some kind of extraordinary quality," he said as he paced around her office coming to a stop across her desk, eyes coming up to meet hers.

"And I'm afraid saving old Regina's arse from a fire just wasn't going to do that," he went on. "We had to give you a higher form of bravery," he said, standing tall. "They had to see you defy me," he clarified in a low growl.

"No way," Emma stated in complete disbelief. "There's no way that you planned that."

"Everyone's afraid of Regina, but they're more afraid of me," again, he spoke in almost a growl. "By standing up to me, you won them over. It was the only way."

"You knew I'd agree," Emma replied. It was sort of a question but not really.

"Oh yeah, I know how to recognize a desperate soul," he answered quietly, eyes boring into her own.

This newfound information pissed Emma off even more. She had played right into his little game; she had done exactly what he wanted her to do. He had wanted her to save Regina, find out he'd set the fire and then expose him and she had done it without a second thought. He had played her like a fiddle. And she hated him for it.

"Why did you do this?" She asked. She had to know why he had tried so hard. At first she had thought it was because he had feelings for her.

_Idiot_.

But now, she knew that couldn't be the case and needed to know the truth.

"We made a deal sometime back, Ms. Swan," he began, limping back towards the door of her office. "We established that you owed me a favor. I know that can be a bad feeling, owing someone. Now that you're sheriff, I'm sure we'll find someway for you to pay back what you owe me," he answered smugly.

_Bastard._

Then he turned and headed out of her office. With his back turned to her he muttered, "Congratulations," softly under his breath, but this conversation wasn't over yet, not for her.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?!" She shouted after him, following him into the main office area of the station.

"I've been told once or twice," he answered in an offhand manner, turning to face her. "Is that all?" He asked when she didn't immediately elaborate.

"No. I don't get it. One minute you're acting like this, like an ass who doesn't give a shit that you set a fire in a building I was in and then earlier you were so...different, opening up to me like you did, making me feel things-"

_Shit. I didn't mean to say that. Damn it Emma why'd you do that? Now he knows you were starting to feel things for him._

"Feel things?" He questioned, catching her slip of the tongue.

"I didn't mean-forget I said that. It doesn't matter anymore. Whatever I thought I felt I sure as hell don't anymore." It was a lie, she didn't want to feel them anymore but she still did.  _Damn him._  "I just can't believe I let myself think for even a second that you actually gave a shit about me and then you went and fucking used me like-"

"We're not really going to go there now are we, dearie?" Gold interrupted.

"What do you mean?" She honestly had no idea what he was getting at.

"Let's not forget who used whom first," he clarified.

_Oh right, that's what he meant. How I used him for sex after Graham died. Damn it, he had a point there._

"I-" she stammered.

"Exactly."

"No, that's not the same and you know it," she said, pointing a finger at him.

"Why not?"

"Because you got something out of that, too."

"I'm sorry, did you not get your job back as sheriff?"

"I-" she stammered again.

"Exactly," he repeated.

Mr. Gold then turned to leave once more. He took about two steps before he stopped again. He turned his head slightly back in Emma's direction as though he was going to something else, but instead he just shook his head and continued back out of the station.

There was, in fact, a lot more he wanted to say. Gold was actually pretty irritated by the double standard she was imposing on him. Apparently it was all right if her behavior was erratic and conflicting at times but it was a capital crime if his was.

Gold knew she would be mad at him for the fire thing and for manipulating her to do exactly what he wanted and that was fine, he was ready for that, but that wasn't all she was mad at him for. She was mad that he'd made her feel something for him, which he hadn't really been trying to do on purpose, these things just happened sometimes. And he didn't think that was fair. She'd done the same thing to him. It took two to tango and she was just as much to blame for the growing feelings they each had for one another as he was.

Mr. Gold knew he'd get over his irritation with her long before she'd forgive him but he hoped it'd be sooner rather than later. He would've told her right then and there that he did care about her and that that had been part of his motivation to help her but he knew she wouldn't have believed him. She'd think he was just manipulating her again. She was stubborn like that. He'd wait though; she would come around eventually. If her feelings were anything like his she wouldn't be able to ignore them no matter how hard she tried.

Emma stood there watching Gold leave with her hands on her hips. He had looked like he was going to say something else to her and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to know what it might have been. Now she was probably going to be up all night thinking about all the possibilities. Whatever he had been about to say, good or bad, would have been better than not knowing.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, because she was still mad at him, he did have a point. She had used him with absolutely no regard to how it might affect him. Thinking back on it, it was pretty selfish. Just because he had gone through with it and gotten something out of it didn't necessarily mean he had to be happy about it. She just did the same thing. She went along with Gold's plan, gotten something out of it and then been mad about it.

But still, in her eyes, what he had done had been far worse. At least she had given him the option to turn her away.

_You didn't have to agree to let him help you,_ her conscience piped up.

_Well at least he knew the whole deal when he agreed. Gold never told me he was going to set a building on fire_ with me in it _!_ She argued back.

It was true though; she didn't have to agree to him being her benefactor. She could have told him no. Though in all fairness if she had known what lengths he would go to get her elected she never would have agreed. She'd been pretty up front with him; the least he could've done was afford her the same courtesy. And as long as she kept telling herself that, she could stay angry at him and avoid him, which is exactly what she intended to do. Unfortunately things rarely worked out the way she intended them to.

* * *

A whole week went by before anything interesting happened in town again, as Emma was sure something would. For such a "quiet" little town a whole hell of a lot of shit seemed to keep going down. But when shit hit the fan in Storybrooke, boy did it hit hard.

"Do you know them? Do they go to your school?" Emma asked Mary Margaret in a whisper.

She was talking about the two kids currently sitting at their kitchen table. Their names were Ava and Nick and they were orphans according to them. She'd been called to Clark's little convenience store earlier in the day because the two of them had tried to steal a few things from his store, some candy and also some basic living necessities, which had made her curious.

They had told her that their parents were having some money trouble and they were stealing the stuff to try and help out a little bit at home. She had offered to drive them home and they'd tried to give her the slip but she could tell that they had been lying when they had said everything was fine at home.

Emma had driven off, giving them the impression that she wasn't watching them anymore, but she was. She drove around to the next street and followed them to an old run down, decrepit house. That's when she'd found out that they were orphans, that they didn't have any parents. And that was when she had vowed to herself that she would do whatever was in her power to help them. She didn't want them to end up in the system like she had. It hadn't done her any favors and it wouldn't do them any either, especially if they ended up separated, which was highly likely.

"I've seen them but I had no idea…none of us did," Mary Margaret answered shaking her head and crossing her arms under her chest.

"Ava and Nicholas Zimmer…Said their mother was a woman named Dorrie Zimmer. She dies a few years ago…" Emma trailed off; giving Mary Margaret a questioning look to see if any of what she said was ringing any bells. Mary Margaret just shook her head.

"No one seems to know her or remember her," Emma added.

"And the father?" Mary Margaret asked.

"There isn't one...at least not one that they know," Emma answered with a sigh.

"What does, uh, what does social services say?"

Emma just gave Mary Margaret a queer look at that question but didn't answer. Mary Margaret got the message anyway, however.

"You didn't report them," she stated matter-of-factly.

"I report them, I can't help them," Emma added in an attempt to justify her actions to her roommate. "They go into the system."

"They system that's supposed to help," Mary Margaret added.

"Yeah, says the woman who wasn't in it for sixteen years," Emma hissed in return. "Do you know what happens?"

Mary Margaret, arms still crossed, looked back at Emma, a look of pity in her eyes.

"They get thrown into homes where they are a meal ticket. Nothing more," Emma explained. "These families get paid for these kids, and as soon as they're too much work, they get tossed out and it all starts over again."

"But they're not all like that," Mary Margaret argued back in hushed tones.

"All the ones I was in," Emma deadpanned.

"What then, we're just going to adopt them?" Mary Margaret asked.

"I want to look for their father," Emma declared. "They don't know him. He may not know they exist," she added with a hopeful tone.

"And you think if he knows he'll want them?" asked Mary Margaret a note of understanding creeping into her voice.

"I don't know," answered Emma honestly. "But what I do know is it's hard enough finding foster families to take one kid that isn't theirs, let alone two. It's their best shot or—"

"We're gonna be separated?" Ava interrupted, voice cracking with emotion and eyes glossed with unshed tears.

"No," Emma vowed, mostly to Ava but admittedly partly to herself as well. "That's not gonna happen," she added.

Mary Margaret looked at Emma in surprise. She didn't think she should have said that to her. She could see why Emma wanted to reassure Ava that everything was going to be ok, but she still didn't think she should be saying things like that as though they were fact if they weren't.

"Please don't let it," Ava pleaded.

Emma turned around and gave Mary Margaret those sad green puppy dog eyes and she knew there was nothing she could say or do that would stop Emma from her quest to find the kid's father and make everything ok.

So, for starters Emma decided she would go to City Hall and request the birth certificates for Ava and Nick. Unfortunately for her, Mr. K had informed her that the birth certificates for the kids had been recently removed. Emma hadn't been surprised in the slightest to find out that it had been the fricken mayor who had been the one to remove them.

How the bitch even found out about the whole situation already, Emma would never know but it really didn't matter. She'd found out and Emma just had to deal with that.

When Emma had gone to Regina's office to get a look at the birth certificates, Regina had been decidedly unhelpful. As far as finding out about the kids' dad, Regina informed Emma that there was no record of him on the certificate, which of course, Emma verified. There was no way in hell she was just going to take the mayor's word for it.

But the real kicker was that Regina had apparently already called social services and was planning to have the kids sent to foster homes…separately and Emma was not pleased. And as Sheriff, it was Emma's job to take the kids to Boston where the foster homes were. Regardless of what Regina said, Emma, however, was still determined to find their father and she wasn't going to stop until she did. She just needed to get some more information, dig a little deeper. Finding people was what she did and she  _was_ going to find their father.

Her first step was going back to the station, search through Graham's papers and files, see if there was anything in them that might help her find who these kids' father was. Before she could really get a start in on it though, Henry showed up.

"Any luck?" He asked coming into her office, toting his Fairy Tale book under his arm.

"No," she replied morosely, looking up from her desk briefly.

"I know who they are," Henry declared, plopping his book down on her desk and opening it up. "Brother and sister," he continued, "lost, no parents. Hansel and Gretel," he finished.

"Anything about their dad?" She asked, indulging the kid.

"Just that he abandoned them," he replied.

"Great, sounds like a familiar story, " she retorted sarcastically. "Whoever this guy is, he could be in Laos by now," she added, heading into the outer office of the station to poke through some filing cabinets.

"No, he's here, " Henry stated matter-of-factly, following at her heels.

Emma scoffed. "And just how do you know that?"

"'Cause no one leaves Storybrooke; no one comes here; no one goes. That's just the way it is."

"I came here, " she pointed out.

"Because you're special," he declared. "You're the first stranger here, ever." He reminded her.

"Right, I forgot," she replied lamely, taking a file out of the cabinet and making her way over to one of the desks. "Well, if he's around here anywhere, I'm gonna find him."

Henry followed her over to the desk and hopped up onto it and looked at her. "Can you tell me about him?"

"I don't know anything yet." She answered.

"Not their father…mine," he clarified.

Emma stopped right in the middle of turning a page in the file to bring her eyes up to meet Henry's. She had not been expecting him to ask that question and she was not ready to answer it either. That was all part of her past, a part she'd rather not think any more about. Besides, Henry didn't need to know what his father had been like, what he had done to her. It would only hurt him.

"I told you about your parents, now you're living with your mom," he implored.

"Mary Margaret's isn't—She's—Nevermind," she backtracked, she was still playing along with this whole Fairy Tale thing to bond with Henry. She didn't want to mess that up.

"Please," he asked sadly.

Resigned, Emma slouched back into her chair and looked at him. She'd tell him something at least, even if it was a lie. Sometimes lies were better than the truth and in the case of Henry's father, it definitely was.

"I was pretty young," she began. "I had just gotten out of the foster system and the only job I could get was at this 24-Hour diner just off the interstate. And um, your dad was training to be a fireman. He always got the worst shifts, so he'd come in and order coffee and pie and sit at the counter and always complained that we didn't sell pumpkin pie. But he'd always come back the next night anyway."

"Did you get married?" he piped in.

Emma scoffed again. "No, nothing like that. We just hung out a few times outside of work. And then, life happened. His got better, mine got worse, and I got in some trouble…"

"When you went to jail?"

"Yeah," she answered sadly. "Before I went I found out that I was pregnant with you," she said, smiling up at him, to be greeted by a smile in return. "And I tried to contact him and I found out that he died saving a family from a burning apartment building. So, when you think I'm the savior Henry,  _he_  was. Your father was a real hero."

Emma felt terrible lying to him, she really did, but it was so much better than the truth. The kid had been through enough already in his short life, she didn't want to make it any worse. Idly she thought that the day would come when she might have to tell him the truth for real, but that was a problem for another day.

"Do you have anything of his, something you can remember him by, something I can see?" He asked.

She pulled back away from him slouching back into her chair thinking about it. It was weird; she didn't have anything of his. The only memento from that time was the necklace she wore and that was more a reminder than it was a memento. To her the connotations were entirely different. But the question made her think…maybe Nick and Ava had something to remind them of their father and maybe, just maybe she could use it to find him.

"I—I don't," she answered. "Henry, I'm sorry, I gotta go. I may know how to find this guy." She then got up from the desk, scooped up her files and headed back to her apartment to talk to Ava and Nick.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite a bit longer than the other chapters but it is worth it I promise. This goes through the end of True North and has some quality Golden Swan moments in it as well and I can at least tell you all that things are going to start picking up a bit more in the coming chapters. Read and review, but most importantly, ENJOY!

A short while later, she was back at her apartment with Nick and Eva.

"I want to show you guys something," stated Emma, placing a box on the counter and pulling out her old baby blanket.

"What's that?" Nick asked.

"It's my baby blanket," answered Emma. "Something I've held onto my whole life. It's the only thing that I have from—from my parents. I spent a lot of time with a lot of kids in your situation and all of them—all of us—we hung onto stuff. I want to find your father, but I need your help. Is there anything of his you've held onto?"

"I might have something," Ava chimed in. "But if I give it to you, you'll make sure we stay together, right?"

"Right," Emma replied stoically, hoping beyond hope she could keep that promise.

Ava dug into her pockets and pulled out an old compass and handed it to Emma.

"A compass?" She asked furrowing her brow, twisting the chain around her fingers and examining it.

"Our mom kept it. She said it was our dads."

"Thank you," said Emma seriously, turning away from the kids.

"Did you find them?" Ava piped up.

"Who?"

"Your parents."

"Not yet, but I'm going to find yours."

And Emma knew just who she'd have to go see to help find who used to own that compass…Gold. The thought of it made her insides clench and swirl uncomfortably. She was still mad at him for the whole fire thing and it really pissed her off that she was going to go running back to him for help so quickly. Especially after she'd told herself she wasn't going to go anywhere near him.

Gold was standing behind one of his display cases when she'd walked in, little bell dinging as she opened the door.

"Emma," he greeted, as he was polishing something that looked like the lamp from Aladdin on the counter in front of him. And there he went using her first name again, it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up when he did, but not in the scared kind of way, the kind of way that she didn't have a name for, the kind of way that she didn't want to name. Did he somehow know what it did to her to hear him say her name and do it on purpose? It certainly sounded like something he would do.

"How lovely to see you."

Was he being sarcastic? She couldn't tell. For Christ's sake why did the man have to be such an enigma to her? Never in her life had she come across someone she couldn't read like a fucking book. Maybe that's what drew her to him so much.

"I'm flattered you'd take time off your busy schedule for me." And then he smirked that damn smirk of his.

Definitely sarcasm, she decided. He  _knew_  she didn't want to be here, talking to him, asking him for help. And he just loved it that she'd come anyway, that smug bastard. She wondered if he'd been keeping some sort of tally to see how many days she could go without running back to him for something. Emma thought it highly likely.

It was true, Gold was thoroughly enjoying seeing Emma like this, all flustered because she had to come and see him again. What made it all so funny to him was that he was now aware, thanks to her little slip of the tongue, that she had feelings for him…at least in some capacity and that she likely simultaneously dreaded and looked forward to their meetings. He knew he certainly did.

Yes, he dreaded them a bit too. He knew that his days of exploiting Emma or manipulating her in some way were far from over and truthfully that hurt him just as much as it might hurt her. He knew he shouldn't, and he didn't want to but he had feelings for her same as she did for him and he found her just as confusing and vexing as she found him. But the fact remained he had a job to do and he was going to do it.

He didn't like that Emma might have to suffer in his endeavors to do so but as of right now, he couldn't see a way around it. For now, he'd just have to try and keep a professional distance from her. He would need her surely, her cooperation at some point he felt was inevitable, but if he got too close…well, the consequences were unknown, and he did not appreciate not knowing things.

And if he got too close, would he be able to use her and manipulate her? He highly doubted it. Already he was feeling guilty about what he had done with the fire and there still wasn't really much between them, save for one night of lowered inhibitions brought on by grief. That was hardly anything to go on as far as he was concerned.

That didn't stop the fact that as much as he wanted to keep his distance from her emotionally, he just couldn't help himself. He saw so much of his own pain and struggles reflected in her eyes and it cut him deep to see it. That's why he knew, no matter what, if she came to him for whatever reason, he wouldn't likely turn her down. It was an odd sort of dance they were dancing.

"What can I do for you, Sheriff?" He asked, eyes roaming over her body in a way that might make lesser women squirm.

Emma rolled her eyes just the slightest as she saw the way his eyes raked over her appraisingly. "I'm looking for information on this on this old compass," she stated, laying it out on the counter for him to see. "Any idea where it could've come from?"

Delicately, Gold picked up the piece to examine in. "Well, well. Look at the detail," he commented. "You know this is crystal, this jeweled setting," he continued, lightly tracing a thin finger over the edges of the old compass.

Emma leaned a bit closer over the counter to watch as he caressed the piece, trying to see what he was talking about. She couldn't tell if he actually found it that fascinating or not though he was looking at it with a sense of admiration. It was rare for him to be so focused on something else while she was in the room with him. His eyes hadn't sought her out since he'd picked it up.

"And despite the rather unfortunate shape it's in, this is actually a very unusual piece. The person who owned this obviously had great taste," he finished. He carefully placed the compass back onto the counter, laying his arms out on the counter and leaning in over it towards Emma.

"And where would someone like that buy it?" She asked just above a whisper.

"Right here, of course," he whispered back, tapping the counter before him.

"You know him?" She was actually surprised it had been that easy.

"Indeed." He smiled at her. "A piece like this is difficult to forget," and he looked back down at it where it lay on the counter.

"Do you happen to remember who bought it?" She implored, no longer whispering.

Gold let out that signature breathy chuckle of his. "Well…I'm good with names, Ms. Swan, but maybe not that good," he explained, limping over to the other counter at the back of the shop. "However, as luck would have it, I do keep quite extensive records."

Mr. Gold then opened up a little drawer on the counter and began poking through it. "And…yes, here we are," and he pulled out a tiny piece of paper, about the size of an index card, the sort of thing people kept in a rolodex for phone numbers or recipes.

It was blank, but it didn't matter, Emma didn't need to know that. Gold already knew whom the compass belonged to; knowing whom the kids' father was since he was already "awake". This was actually perfect that she'd come to him with this for help since it was something he could easily do and it wouldn't hurt anyone. It was a win-win as far as he could see, especially since he intended to get something out of it as well.

He made to hand it to her but pulled it back, licking his lips and flashing her a playful smile and she knew exactly what that little smile meant. She could see it in his eyes and that smirk of his, that closed lipped, grinning ear to ear smirk like the goddamn Grinch who stole Christmas; there was a price she'd have to pay for his help. Of course there would be. How could there not be?

"What's your price?" She asked, giving a smirk as good as she got.

"Forgiveness," he stated almost immediately. It was the first thing that came to his mind; the only thing he could think of that he wanted from her. He could've asked for anything and yet, that was at the top of his list. Somehow her forgiveness meant more to him than anything else he could've wanted.

Whatever Emma had been expecting, it hadn't been that. In an instant her playful smirk was gone and a more serious tone took over. "How about tolerance," she countered. Emma wasn't quite ready to forgive him just yet. He'd have to work a bit harder than that.

Gold tilted his head to the side and licked his lips considering her counter offer. "Well, that's a start," he conceded. And it was a start, and something he fully intended on finishing.

"The compass was purchased by a Mr. Michael Tillman," he informed her.

"Anything else?"

"Just a name," he added. "But I generally find that's all one needs."

She nodded her head at him and turned around to walk out of the shop. As seemed to be custom though, he called out after her, "Good luck with your investigation."

Emma turned just a little bit, still walking towards the door to look back at him. She didn't say or do anything, just looked at him and promptly turned back around and left his shop. Mr. Gold then placed the little blank piece of paper back in the drawer.

Emma thought that was sort of a weird interaction. It went a little better than she thought it might have, always expecting the worst with Gold just because she never really knew what was going on inside his head. The whole asking for forgiveness thing was odd though. Why did it matter to him if she forgave him or not? Out of all the things he could've possibly asked for, that's what he wanted? It was strange.

Deciding not to dwell too much on it lest she read too much into it or something, she instead made some calls trying to figure out who Michael Tillman was. She figured she'd call Ruby at the diner assuming almost everyone in town ate at the diner and that surely Ruby or Granny would know where to find the guy. And, as luck would have it, they did and she'd found out that he was a mechanic in town. So, she headed there straight away, taking the compass with her.

* * *

"Not possible," Michael Tillman stated, handing back the copy of Nick and Ava's birth certificates and their photos.

"Actually, it is," Emma snapped.

"I'm sorry, look Dory, she wasn't my—It was just once." And he turned and headed back into his shop, trying to brush her off.

"Sometimes that's all it takes…" Emma advised.

 _Just once…. that's all it takes…_  As her own words filtered back to her mind, memories of that night with Gold weeks ago came flooding back to her. It had only been once then too and she remembered now that they hadn't used protection of any kind…

 _No, you're not pregnant_ , Emma silently tried to reassure herself.  _But I_ could  _be_  she argued back. It really was possible, though there was no reason for to worry just yet. There were no signs that she might be pregnant, not yet at least…

Against her will, her hand dropped down to abdomen and she wondered if maybe she was pregnant and what she might do if she was. She was not ready to even think about that, let alone actually ready to have a kid again...no, definitely not and luckily for her, Michael was talking again and she was temporarily relieved of having to dwell on that daunting possibility.

As she suspected, he denied the possibility that the kids were his. Emma wasn't having any of it though. This man needed to step up and take responsibility for his kids. For Christ's sake they'd been homeless since their mother had died and living in an abandoned house that was no way for two young kids to be living.

He still wasn't buying it though; he was determined to deny the kids were his. That is, until Emma showed him the compass the kids had given her.

At the mention of it he had stopped what he was doing, paying full attention to Emma for the first time since she'd began speaking to him. He took it from her and held it delicately in his hands, and gently slid a finger over it. The way he was looking at it held a sense of wonder, not unlike the way Gold had looked at it, but still different. Gold's look was more keen interest but this look was remembrance. He remembered the compass.

"I lost this," he nearly whispered.

"Let me guess, twelve years and nine months ago?" She asked sarcastically.

Michael looked up from the compass, eyes skyward as he mentally calculated how long it had been since he lost it. The recognition was evident in his expression as his eyes returned to Emma.

"I know it's a lot," she began. "Believe me I know. A month ago a kid showed up on my doorstep, I gave up for adoption, asking for help with…something. And I ended up moving here, for him."

"I heard about that, it's the mayor's son, but staying in town, that's a lot different than taking him in," he said.

"I don't have my kid, because I don't have a choice," she implored. "You do. Those kids did not ask to be brought into this world; you brought them into this world, you and their mother. And they need you. If you choose not to take them you are going to have to answer that every day of your life. And one day when they find you, 'cause believe me they will find you, you're gonna have to answer to them."

Emma looked back at him expectantly, hoping her impassioned speech had an effect on the man. And she'd meant every word of it too, she knew those kids would never stop looking for their dad, just like she herself hadn't and wouldn't stop looking for her parents, even now. She was not about to watch two kids get shipped off to Boston and go through what she had to go through.

"I'm sorry," he stated, looking back at her sadly.

She couldn't believe it. He still didn't want to take them. How could he not want them? Did he have any idea what it felt like to be forced to give up a kid?

"I don't know anything about being a dad. If it's a good home you're looking for, it's not with me," he finished and headed back into the shop.

As Emma heard the door slam behind him, her eyes closed almost reflexively in pain, emotional pain. She just couldn't understand how anyone could voluntarily let their kids go like that. Did he have any idea what kind of life they were headed to if he didn't take them? It broke her heart, not just for the kids' sake, but for hers too.

She couldn't help but wonder in that moment if it had been so easy for her parent's to leave her behind like they did. Had she meant as little to her parents as these kids appeared to mean to their father. It was cruel. And it killed her inside to think about it.

Emma didn't even know what to do now. What was she going to tell those kids? She needed to talk to Mary Margaret; she'd help her figure out what to do.

* * *

"He doesn't want the kids," Emma told Mary Margaret when she'd come down from their apartment.

"And you don't want to tell them?" Mary Margaret asked, understanding in her eyes.

"I can't," Emma answered. "'Cause all I'll be telling them is that false hope I gave them is exactly that."

"The truth can be painful, Emma, but it can also be cathartic."

"I agree on the painful part," Emma replied morosely.

"Well, look, you told Henry the truth that his father's dead and he's handling it great."

"I didn't tell him the truth."

"What?" Mary Margaret asked, visibly taken aback.

"And his father was no hero and trust me he does not need to know the real story," she replied darkly. "Maybe we can hide the kids, just until we can find a family for them, someone to take care of them," she added a bit hopefully.

"Yes, hiding the twelve year olds is a good plan," Mary Margaret retorted sarcastically shaking her head at Emma. Her friend was too close to this emotionally, she wasn't thinking straight.

"You have a better idea?"

"Maybe there isn't an idea," Mary Margaret began, trying to get Emma to see reason. "Maybe you just have to—"

But Mayor Mills interrupted her before she continued. "Sheriff, shouldn't you be on the interstate?"

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, whipping around to face the mayor.

"Seeing to it that you do your job," stated Regina in her businesslike tone, the one Emma hated.

"You know you don't have to check up on me, I know what I have to do," Emma informed the patronizing Mayor Mills.

"Really?" The Mayor asked, her tone dripping with skepticism. "Because those kids are supposed to be in Boston, tonight."

"I know that. I'll get them there, I'm just following up on one last lead about their father and then if nothing comes of it, I'll be on my way with them," Emma lied expertly.

"You'd better," Regina warned and then walked away, leaving Mary Margaret and Emma alone again on the curb.

"Another lead?" Mary Margaret asked.

Emma just looked at her and Mary Margaret knew she'd lied to Regina. There was no lead to follow up on, there was nothing left for Emma to do. All there was left to do was wait until Regina forced Emma to leave with the kids, unless by some miracle during that time their father changed his mind. It seemed unlikely though.

And wait they did, until a few hours later the Mayor came to knock at their door.

"Ms. Swan, no more stalling you need to take those kids to Boston. Now."

Emma glanced back at the kids sitting at the table. Their eyes were already getting watery at the thought of being separated. Emma still hadn't told them that their father didn't want them; she just told them she hadn't been able to find him. There was no good way to tell them they had to leave but at least they didn't have to know they weren't wanted. That was the worst feeling in the world.

"Fine. I'm sorry guys, we gotta get going," Emma called out to them.

Nick and Ava glanced briefly at each other, both fighting hard to hold back their tears as they stood from the table and made their way to the door. Henry, who had been sitting with them, looked sadly between the two of them before he too got up and headed to the doorway.

Regina grabbed Henry by the shoulder and steered him out of the apartment ahead of the rest of them. At the action, Henry turned to look at Emma over his shoulder, but Regina carelessly redirected him so he couldn't see her anymore. Then Emma turned to Nick and Ava and gestured for them to go ahead of her. Wordlessly she pulled the door closed behind her.

As Emma and the rest of them made it outside, she gave the kids a sad look. Their eyes were still wet, right on the verge of crying at any minute.

Then she went to cross the street, looking both ways to make sure no cars were coming. As she did so, she noticed down the road a ways on the opposite side of the street, Mr. Gold was walking. She thought that was weird.

His shop was down quite a few blocks from where she was and he was walking towards it not away from it. That meant that he must've been coming from somewhere around where she was, since he was walking. If he had been coming from somewhere further away he would've driven, especially with his bad leg. But she put it out of her mind; she had other things to deal with right now.

"Come on," Emma commanded, opening the car door, since neither Ava nor Nick had moved at all to do so when they'd reached the car.

Emma looked back at them as she held the door open for them to get in. Again, neither made a move to do so, however. "It's gonna be…." She had meant to try to reassure them that everything was going to be fine, but she knew it was a lie and she'd lied enough to the poor kids today, she couldn't do it again. "Here," she finished rather lamely handing them back their father's old compass.

"I'm sorry, but we gotta go," she added one last time. Then Nick and Ava got into the car. Emma slammed the door shut after them, her anger at the situation painfully obvious. Right after she'd gotten in and closed the door behind her, Henry ran up next to the car and peered in her window.

"No, you can't take them. They can't leave Storybrooke, Emma," he implored. "They can't. Something bad will happen," he warned.

"Something bad has already happened." And without another word she started up the car and pulled away. The situation was bad enough as it was, she didn't need Henry chirping his wild theories in her ear about it too.

When Emma and the kids got just about to the town line her car had sputtered out and died. At first she had been really grateful that her car had broken down. It was exactly the kind of thing she needed to have happen right then. Now she could call for a mechanic and the kids' father would show up. She had no doubts that if he actually saw them, sitting there in the car with their tear stained faces; he wouldn't be able to resist taking them home with him. Really, what were the odds that her car would break down right when she needed it to…?

 _Shit._  As the ludicrous thought came to her mind she realized there was no chance in hell that her car just  _happened_  to break down right at the exact moment that it would benefit her. No way in hell. And suddenly she thought she might know why Gold had been down on her side of town. He'd sabotaged her car…on purpose…to help her? Whatever, she didn't care about why right now but she knew it had been him. She knew it.

When Michael Tillman had gotten there he'd helped her fix the car real quick, finding out of course that it was a really simple problem and he no doubt suspected that she had done it herself just to get him there. She hadn't but damn was that a good idea, because it worked. He got one look at those kids and told her she didn't need to take them to Boston that night, that he would take them, that he would be the father to them that he should be and that they needed.

* * *

"Hey," Mary Margaret greeted when Emma walked in the door.

Emma exhaled heavily.

"What happened?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Their dad, he showed up; changed his mind." And then she flopped down at the foot of the bed where Mary Margaret was sitting folding laundry.

"Changed his mind, just like that," she noted with wonder.

"He might've had a little nudge," Emma admitted.

"You found their father, that's great."

Suddenly Emma propped herself up on her elbows, "I wonder what that would be like," she wondered aloud.

"Maybe you'll find out," said Mary Margaret. "You can't give up."

"I don't know," Emma replied with a sigh. "I kinda think giving up might be the best plan. I think I need to let go."

"No you don't," stated Mary Margaret firmly.

"Really? If they wanted to know me, they wouldn't make it so hard to look," she supplied. She'd been looking all her life and hadn't found them yet.

"Maybe, but maybe there are other reasons. Maybe there is an explanation."

"If there is it's something crazy…something even crazier than Henry's theory," she half joked.

"Yeah, what's Henry's theory?" Mary Margaret asked offhandedly.

"Well, that my parents put me in a magical wardrobe and sent me to this world to save them," she answered with a smile.

"Aww," Mary Margaret cooed. "Who does he think they are?"

Sitting up all the way Emma answered, "For one, you."

Mary Margaret gave her a seriously questioning look. "…Me?"

"Well, Snow White," Emma clarified in an 'obviously' sort of tone.

"Snow White…has a kid," Mary Margaret stated with wonder.

"Apparently that book you gave him—Not exactly the stories in the most traditional sense."

Mary Margaret chuckled and fumbled with the clothes in her hand.

"I have a kid," she stated again with that same, wonder filled tone. "You think I'd remember that."

"Yeah, you'd think."

Mary Margaret then looked over at Emma as if seeing her for real for the first time. "You do kinda have my chin," she commented.

They two women both chuckled at that. "I think I'm need to go get some air," Emma said as she stood up from the bed and headed to the door. "I'm gonna go think."

She had a lot of thinking to do. With this whole orphaned kids thing, it had really made her think about her own case and situation with being orphaned. The number of times she'd looked into her own file trying to figure things out was endless, but still as she made to leave the apartment she grabbed her file out of her one box of belongings to take a peek at once again.

And then there was the whole thing with Gold sabotaging her car, which, though she had no proof, she knew it had been him. She wanted to know why he did it. What unknown price was she going to have to pay for this bit of help? Emma wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"If you're gonna be back late, I can wait to eat with you," Mary Margaret offered.

"No, don't do that," said Emma and she grabbed up her jacket ready to leave.

"I'll leave you leftovers," Mary Margaret added at Emma's retreating form. Then she looked down at Emma's box of stuff and saw her baby blanket.

"What a pretty blanket," she commented softly, again, voice full of wonder.

Emma looked back at her queerly. "Thanks…Good night," and without thinking any more about the blanket and how supposedly that was the blanket Mary Margaret herself had given her, she left.

She'd been sitting in her car looking at her old file when Henry had come up to her window with a piece of Pumpkin pie. He'd just been telling her how she really was changing things in town when a man on a motorcycle had rolled to a stop in front of them.

He was a black leather jacket and a pair of dark blue jeans. He was relatively young looking, probably only a few years older than Emma was herself. He had short shaggy brown hair and his face was caked with stubble. Emma had to admit, he was kinda good looking, the first man besides Gold and Graham in this town that she'd found to be so.

And damn him for not giving her his name. That had turned him into an enigma of his own and the last time Emma found some good looking guy to be an enigma she'd ended up sleeping with him…so, she really hoped he became a lot less intriguing the longer he stayed. Unlike Gold who only seemed to get more and more intriguing the longer she knew him.

 _Speaking of Gold_ , Emma thought to herself as she watched the mysterious motorcycle man drive away,  _I wanna know for sure if he's the one who messed with my car_.

Emma looked down at Henry beside her. "Hey, I gotta go take care of something, kid. How about I take you home before your mom bites my head off."

"Ugh fine," Henry huffed, but he still got into Emma's car.

After she had dropped him off at home and watched him sneak back into his room, she drove to Gold's shop. She was determined to find out for sure that he had fiddled with her car, which she was absolutely sure of, and to find out why he'd done it.

"Gold," she called out when she entered the shop. Though, with the little bell above the door, announcing her presence was a bit redundant.

"Ah, Sheriff Swan. Twice in one day you stop in at my shop, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked coyly, eye raking over her body appraisingly like they always did. It wasn't just that he was checking her out, but it always looked like he was looking right through her, to her soul or something.

"Don't pretend that you don't know why I'm here," she retorted trying to keep the playfulness out of her voice. But damn, whenever she was around him, it was so hard to do. He always brought out that side to her, even when she was mad at him.

"Who's pretending, dearie?" And then he smiled at her from where he stood behind the counter at the back of the shop.

_Damn that man and his fucking smile!_

"My car broke down, I know you did it," she leveled accusingly, placing her hands on the counter in front of her and leaning in towards him.

"You know, you sure have a knack for coming into my shop and accusing me of things," he commented and he began walking around the counter to join Emma on the other side of it.

That movement made her nervous, him getting closer to her. She was better able to control herself and handle the situation if that counter was separating the two of them. She supposed that's why he'd done it though, just to throw her off, make her sweat a bit.

He came to a stop just about a foot away from her. She swallowed thickly as she turned and looked into his eyes. Emma couldn't put a name on what she saw in them, but it made her pulse quicken and her hands get a little clammy.

"Yeah, and funny how every time I've done it so far it turns out you did exactly what I accused you of doing."

Gold chuckled and moved a fraction of an inch closer to her. It was barely noticeable, but to Emma it felt like he was suddenly nose-to-nose with her or something.

"No harm was done this time was there?" He asked her and placed a hand out onto the counter next to them. His hand was inches from where hers still lay on the counter.

"No, but th—"

"Then what difference does it make?"

"How did you even know to do that?" She asked shaking her head. That was something she couldn't figure out either. How had he foreseen that she would call the mechanic and that he would take the kids back? "How did you know it would work?"

"If there's one thing I am for sure, Ms. Swan, it's intuitive. I know how people work. It's the same as how I knew how to set up the whole incident with the fire. I know people, Ms. Swan, and admittedly, you over all the others."

"Me?" She questioned. "Why?"

"Because we're a lot alike, Sheriff, whether that thought is comforting to you or not."

"I—"

"Look, we both know what it's like losing children and we both know what it's like to be abandoned by family. Those sorts of things shape who we are; it's really no surprise that we're a bit alike."

"But why did you do it? What did you get out of it?"

"So far, nothing." And he took another fraction of a step closer.

"And what, I'm gonna have to owe you another favor to call in later?" She asked, trying to back away from him without him noticing.

"No, I merely hoped I might be one step closer to forgiveness." Another step closer and the fingers of his left hand lightly brushed against hers where they rested on the counter beside them. He was looking right into her eyes deep and hard. He began to lean in towards her ever so slightly, eyes not straying or faltering in the slightest.

Emma stared steadfastly back into his deep brown eyes, willing him not to be able to tell just how much she wanted to let him kiss her, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. It wasn't even about the thing with the fire; she just wasn't ready to be that vulnerable around him again. She'd shown too much of herself to him already, both literally and figuratively.

So instead of waiting for him to get close enough to meet him in a kiss she wrenched her hand away from his, severing the contact and took a fumbled step backwards. She was trying to be quick about it before her want got the better of her

"Not close enough," she said tersely and a bit shakily before swiftly turning and exiting his shop.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter for you all. Things start to get a little bit interesting here. :D Read, review and most importantly, ENJOY!

Gold had been so caught up in anticipating a kiss that by the time he realized what she'd said and that she'd moved away from him, she was already at the door and he was left standing alone by the counter, head still leaning outwards towards where Emma had been standing.

Immediately he felt a rush of disappointment. Emma was a tough cookie to crack, though the more he thought about it, he thought it had been good she left. What had he even been thinking anyway? Why had he done that, gotten so close to her? Why did he think it would've been a good idea or a good time to try to kiss her? That seemed laughable and yet that's what he had done, what had seemed right in that moment, taking those small steps closer to her with every word.

He'd done it again, lost himself a bit in her presence. Maybe Henry and himself were wrong and Emma wasn't the savior, maybe she was some sort of siren. The way she pulled him in without even trying, the way she made him act so differently when she was around. There was certainly some dark magic going on with that Gold thought jokingly. But whatever it was, she did have some sort of metaphorically bewitching effect on him.

It was no good for either of them. Getting close would only end up badly for both of them, of that he was absolutely certain. And yet, a large part of him thought he might want to give it a go anyway. There was just something about her that was so different. She was so much like him in a way. He felt that with her, she might understand him, might be more forgiving of the things he'd done and would do if she knew the reason why. If anyone could understand going to any lengths for their child, he felt certain it was she.

Alas, she didn't quite feel the same towards him. She had admitted to having felt something for him after the night they'd spent together but he'd shot any chance of those feelings growing to hell the moment he'd set fire to a building with her in it. Though the fact that she'd gotten nervous being so close to him told him that maybe the feelings hadn't gone anywhere, she was just trying to push them away and hide them deep within herself. A defense mechanism, one he was intimately familiar with.

But it was disappointing nonetheless; the way things were going with Emma and him. There was such a large part of him that wanted her and not just in a physical sense either. He really did feel a connection to her; a connection he hadn't felt with anyone in quite some time. Even the last time he'd thought he'd fallen for someone, it wasn't quite the same as with Emma.

Emma understood him, related to him. Regardless of the bad things she already knew he'd done, it didn't bother her nearly as much as it would most. She was angry sure, but how many women would so easily come to him for help after a man set a building on fire with her in it? Likely not very many. But Emma did, because perhaps deep down she knew he'd done it for a reason. Or perhaps he was just being hopeful.

Either way, disappointment was the primary feeling of the evening for the enigmatic pawnbroker, Mr. Gold. And with nothing left for him to do at his shop at the late hour, he headed home. It was a silent drive back to his home and an even more silent brooding with a drink in his hand before he went to bed.

And for as silent as Gold's brooding had been, it was the opposite for Emma's mind. Her thoughts were reeling and she didn't know exactly what to make of what had gone on in Gold's shop. But oddly, the dominant feeling wasn't anger or frustration but disappointment. She was actually disappointed that she hadn't let Gold kiss her. And she didn't even understand why.

It had to have been a good thing that she didn't kiss him. Right? So then why was she so disappointed? It was all very confusing and her thoughts raced at high speed as she returned home, immediately going up and taking a shower. It was really all she could think to do. Perhaps the drizzle of warm water on her back and through her hair would somehow organize her thoughts for her.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. Instead she just stood there under the stream of water for at least a half an hour before she even began to wash herself. And her thoughts didn't stop their incessant racing the entire time. She just couldn't get everything out of her head.

So much of their interaction she didn't understand. Why did he even help her with Nick and Ava's parents? Was it really just so that he might end up closer to gaining her forgiveness? But then why did he even want her forgiveness so desperately? Did he just want her to forgive him so that she might sleep with him again?

She almost felt guilty for thinking that actually. She may have thought Gold was that kind of man before, and while he had given her what she asked, she didn't see him as the kind of man to manipulate her just for sex. Not that she'd put it past him exactly with someone, but just not her.

Maybe that was a bit presumptuous of her or narcissistic, but something just told her that she might just be different to him; different than women he may have been with or wanted before. There was just something about the way he had looked at her, the way his eyes softened as they met her own. And besides, if all he wanted was sex, he could have made that the payment for helping her. It would've been low of him, sure, but he could've tried it. Instead he asked for  _forgiveness._ Of all things.

It just didn't make sense to her. Or maybe she just didn't want to understand it; didn't want to believe that it was a gesture of him actually caring about her. That may all have just been too much for her to handle. It had been a long time since she'd let someone care about her and as much as she felt Gold might actually care about her, she couldn't get that little nagging sensation out of her mind that he would end up hurting her. Everyone always ended up hurting her and surely he would be no different.

And she wasn't ready for all of that. Not again. It had caused her enough heartache and misery the first time around; she didn't need more of it. And she definitely didn't need it from Gold. If she was going to end up getting hurt by someone, she hoped it wouldn't be by him. She liked him too much. She was too invested already. It was best if she just stayed away from him. Hopefully this time it would work.

And for a while, it did. She had a feeling that Gold might do the same as well, not wishing to see her again after their last encounter and be reminded of her rejection. Plus he tended to keep to himself really, and keeping out of his way wasn't as hard as she'd thought it would be. Especially not when she had that new guy to worry about and the way he was apparently hanging around her son.

So when she saw him sitting in the diner a few days after her talk with Gold that night in his shop, looking all—mysterious and leather clad, she felt that was a perfect time to talk to him. Walking in the rain, she took off her hat and made her way over to him.

"We need to talk," she announced from behind him.

"Why?" He asked, not even turning around to look at her, knowing exactly who it was who was talking to him.

"Because," she began, moving in front of him so she could look at him head on, "you're suspicious."

"Sitting here…out in the open...drinking a coffee?" He asked, again, gesturing around to the near empty diner and the small cup of coffee sitting on the table before him.

She didn't look amused and narrowed her eyes at him as he spoke again.

"I wonder what kind of hell I woulda raised had I ordered a donut," he mused sarcastically, raising a brow at her as he lounged lazily in the booth, his arm draped around the back of it.

"You were talking to Henry," he said, not really clarifying why that mattered.

"The little kid who came up to me asking me questions?"

She said nothing, just stared steadfastly at him, glaring almost.

"Is that unusual for him, being curious and precocious?" He went on.

"What were you doing outside his house?" She countered, ignoring the man's question.

"My bike broke down. That happens," he answered.

She nodded, her eyes dropping down to the floor, seeing the box at his feet.

"Your mysterious box—What's in it?"

"It's awfully frustrating isn't it, not knowing?" He retorted, toying with her. It was fun watching her get so annoyed and frustrated with him. It was a fun game for him.

"Just tell me," she huffed.

"Why?"

"Is it illegal to carry around a box in these parts?" A smirk rose to his lips as he spoke. It was infuriating to her. The last thing she needed was a good-looking man she wished to know more about smirking at her. She had one of those already and it was causing her enough distress. But he was cute.

"No, of course it's not," she replied, still sort of glaring at him. Sure he was cute, but that didn't mean she liked him. Not yet anyway.

"You really wanna know what's inside, don't you?" He teased.

_YES!_

"No," she answered feigning nonchalance. "Well maybe," she conceded at the look of skepticism he'd shot her. And then she took a seat across from him in the both.

"I'm gonna make you wait," he began. "You're gonna have to wait a  _long_ time. And watch me carry it around, hauling it to strange and mysterious places. And with each passing moment, they mystery will become more tantalizing. Your imagination will inflame, but so will your frustration, never knowing, only guessing what could possibly be inside that box?" He rambled off smoothly, his low voice caressing her and his eyes boring into her own as she leaned in toward him over the table, hanging on his every word despite herself.

"Or…" he went on again, "you could let me buy you a drink sometime and I'll tell you right now," he added, a sly grin on his face.

"You wanna buy me a drink?" She asked, not cracking in the slightest. Sure he was cute, but she didn't trust him, not as far as she could throw him. Not yet anyway.

"Yes."

"Ok, a drink it is," she said, figuring a drink wouldn't be so bad, not if she got the answers she wanted.

Without a word, he reached down and picked up his mysterious box, placing it on the table before her. And still, wordlessly, he unlatched it and began to open it. Whatever she had been expecting, it sure as hell wasn't the typewriter he revealed.

"Really?" She asked.

"I'm a write," he explained.

"That's why you're here?"

"I find this place provides…inspiration. Don't you?" And then he swiftly closed the top of the box once more.

"Wait," she began as he stood to leave, his words striking odd somehow. "You've been here before?"

"I didn't say that," he answered secretively as he tossed a bill down on the table and made to leave the diner.

"What about that drink?" She called out after him, turning around to watch him as he headed out back into the storm outside.

"I said 'sometime'," he added back to her before he left once and for all.

She rolled her eyes at him as he left. That was not a very enlightening conversation. It really only raised as many questions as it answered. She didn't like that. The last thing she needed right now was some other guy she found interesting. Though she didn't find him interesting quite in the same way she did Gold.

But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe if she got to know that guy better, she could forget about Gold, move on from him. Perhaps it was a good thing this guy showed up and maybe it was a good thing she found herself attracted to him at least a little bit. She wasn't exactly the kind of girl always looking for a man to be with but she couldn't deny that finding a new one would keep her mind as far away from Gold as could be. And that seemed like something she could benefit from at the moment. But, of course, that didn't mean she'd do anything about it. Her intrigue about Gold and what he made her feel far surpassed anything that stranger made her feel.

And over the next week and a half after seeing the stranger in the diner, she had been able to avoid both of the men, feeling that was really what was the safest and most sensible option at the moment. It wasn't until her and Sidney had ventured out into the forest to find out what Regina was doing that she saw Mr. Gold again.

Sidney had come to her, rambling on about some plan of Regina's that she had been stealing money from the town to fund some project of some sort. And apparently all his research had led them to evidence of some meeting she was having out in the middle of the woods.

What she hadn't been prepared for tough was the car accident on the way there. And this time, she was pretty sure it hadn't been Gold who had sabotaged her car. There was no reason for him to do something like that, nothing he would gain from it. Regina on the other hand, yeah, she had something to gain if her and Sidney died in a car crash. She had a lot to gain. And when they found her, Emma was ready to give her an ear full. But Regina wasn't whom they found. They had found Gold and Emma's thoughts were sent reeling once more.

"She was meeting me," Gold said answering her question to Sidney about why Regina as out in the woods. He came up over a hill, cane in one hand and a briefcase in the other, that one sided smirk plastered on his face like it always seemed to be.

The shock was evident in her eyes, and she hoped the hurt that she felt wasn't. She really didn't need him to know that without even knowing the details, the fact that he was out there with Regina bothered her. Were they in cahoots together? Had he actually possibly been part of the plot to sabotage her car? Every fiber of her being prayed that wasn't the case that he was acting alone, and he had no idea or any part of what Regina was up to.

"What are you doing out here with her?" She demanded, her brows furrowed tightly in anger, both at him and Regina. She hoped that hadn't sounded jealous.

"Just a little business transaction," he replied, his voice low and almost angry sounding.

Truthfully he was a little angry. He had made to stop by the diner a little over a week ago and seen Emma getting all cozy with that new guy in town. Or at least it had looked cozy to him, and whether or not he had any right or not, he had felt jealousy and anger upon seeing her there.

"What's in the briefcase?" Sidney chimed in.

"Everything comes at a price. Land is no different," Gold explained.

"That's why you're meeting her out here? Regina bought your land?" Emma asked, her voice just as low and angry sounding as Gold's.

"The very ground your standing on."

"What does she want for it?"

"You know in business, I find it's best not to ask too many questions," he replied tersely as he limped their way, briefcase in hand. "Hurts the bottom line," he added as he came to a stop just before her and Sidney, his eyes moving to the other man.

"The question is, Emma,"

_There he goes, using my first name again. God I hate him sometimes._

"Why are you standing out here in the middle of the night," he went on, looking around at vast woods around them, "with Mr. Glass?" He added. Again there was that low tone of voice, sounding almost jealous, though of course he would never admit to that.

"You don't know what Regina did to me," Sidney answered for her. "You don't know what she did to her son. We can't just sit idly by."

"Of course you can." Gold answered, an odd smirk gracing his features. Half of him wanted to warn Emma what she was getting into, but half of him was still stewing about seeing her with not only that stranger, but now with Sidney as well, though he was certain that had no romantic implications. But he was a bit miffed that she hadn't come to him for help once more, though he supposed he should've expected that.

"Be careful," he added, not looking up at Emma at all, "emotional entanglements can lead us down very dangerous paths." It wasn't a warning about anything between him and her but a warning about her emotional ties to Henry that would inevitably cloud her judgment. It was all the warning he was willing to give, given his anger. But he still couldn't help but try to warn her in some way. After all, he did care about her. Whether he wanted to or not.

Emma just stared after him, brows furrowed in anger and confusion. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of that encounter but she was sure that it meant nothing good. What the hell was Regina buying land for and was Gold only in this as a business transaction or did he know something and wasn't letting on. Had he been trying to warn her about something with his parting words, or had it been some comment on their own entanglement of sorts? She didn't know and it frustrated her greatly.

Though she got her answer soon enough. Just a few days later at the town meeting, Emma had tried to confront Regina in front of the whole town about everything. Turned out Regina hadn't stolen the money, she had used the funds for a playground for all the kids in town to play on. And now she looked like an idiot. She turned around in shame, facing the townspeople and saw Gold sitting in the crowd shaking his head lightly in disappointment.

So he had been trying to warn her.

 _Then why the hell didn't he just say something!?_  She shouted in her head.

 _Would you have wanted to listen to him if he had?_  Her conscience argued back.

_Shut up._

Feeling like a fool, she made her way out of city hall. She really did feel like an idiot, but she couldn't help looking back at the Mayor in disdain. Why couldn't someone just have said something about it before? Why all the secrecy about a damn playground?

"Look at her, Queen of the castle," a Scottish voice rang out from behind her. She turned to face the one man she really didn't want to face right then.

"You know, what you did in there was commendable, Ms. Swan, but if you really wanna bring her down, you're gonna need a strong ally," he said, clearly referring to himself. In the days that had followed their last encounter he had cooled off a bit and had felt a little sorry for her, knowing she would end up making a fool of herself. But there was just something about her that made him act irrationally like he didn't usually act.

"Like yourself?" She asked, scathingly. She was even madder at him now. He could've stopped all this if he had wanted to. He simply nodded in response. "Thanks, but I'm still not interested," she added.

A smile spread widely across his slightly aged face. He had expected that, of course. "Oh, one can wish," he replied in just above a whisper and upon seeing the Mayor heading their way, he turned and left without another word.

And once again, Emma was left confused. Why did he have to be like that? One minute he's a total asshole letting her go and make a fool of herself and then the next he does something like that, the honesty in his eyes and voice with his final words poked and prodded at her mind wondering what other meaning his words had held. Why did he want her on his side so bad? Was in a romantic way or did he just want to use her? It was infuriating.

And once again she decided it was best to just stay away from him. And for a good week she was able to. But something happened that made her certain she'd have to speak to him soon enough. That morning, a week after her little public embarrassment, she had bolted awake in bed, running immediately to the bathroom where she proceeded to throw up. And as she flushed the toilet and stood, wiping her mouth and washing her hands at the sink, a realization struck her.

"Oh no," he said, her eyes flicking up to look at herself in the mirror. Only then did she really realize that she had long since missed her period. Her stomach plummeted.

"No, no, I-I can't be pregnant. I can't be."

She could be of course. But she had to know for sure. So on her way to work she stopped at the drug store and picked up a pregnancy test, well, five actually, she wanted to be absolutely sure. And then she headed to work.

As she stood in the bathroom, looking down at the five positive pregnancy tests, she felt like she was going to be sick again. And it wasn't the morning sickness kind of sick either. She didn't know what the hell she was going to do. She wasn't ready to have another kid right now, and especially not with Gold. She didn't even know what the hell was going on with her and him. She hadn't so much as kissed him since the night they had slept together over two months ago at this point.

"Shit!" She exclaimed to herself as she stood there, still looking at her self in the mirror.

She knew she couldn't give it up for adoption, she wouldn't make that mistake twice, but she also wouldn't abort it. That just wasn't something she thought she could ever go through with. Besides, she had gotten herself into this mess; it was her responsibility now. But that didn't exactly mean that she had to be happy about it.

But another thing she had to consider was whether or not she would tell Gold. It would become obvious at some point, but that didn't mean she had to say anything to him. She didn't owe him anything. And she was still angry with him, about everything and she didn't want him to know that she was pregnant with his kid. She didn't want anyone to know, really.

Perhaps it was rude or mean to think it, but she was a little ashamed about it all. Ashamed she had slept with Gold; ashamed she had wound up pregnant; ashamed that she was going to try and hide it from Gold; and most of all ashamed that she felt ashamed at all.

Did she feel like she was too good for him or something? No, not really. She just felt like she shouldn't be in the mess she was in. She shouldn't have slept with Gold in the first place. It just hadn't been a good idea. Sleeping with someone without having feelings for them first is just never a good idea. Though she didn't really anticipate that she'd end up having feelings for him. She'd thought she would've been in the clear in that department. She underestimated him.

But that was the thing; she  _did_  have feelings for him. She wasn't sure how deep those feelings ran quite yet, but she knew they were there. And whatever the hell was going on between her and Gold, she was relatively sure he felt something for her too. He  _had_  tried to kiss her after all. Yeah, it had been weeks ago, but she was certain the feelings were still there in some capacity.

Though before Emma could ponder more on the issue, the phone out in her office was going off. She quickly tossed the positive pregnancy tests in the trash and made her way back out to answer it. What she was told did not make her happy at all. Apparently someone had broken into Gold's house, the door was open and he wasn't home was what she'd been told.

Very reluctantly, she made her way to Gold's house. It did not please her one bit to see that Gold's car was outside. Apparently he'd returned home. Maybe she could just go back to the station? No, she was the Sheriff, she had to check the situation out, no matter how badly she didn't want to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another chapter. This takes up most of the rest of Skin Deep. As always, read, review and ENJOY! Just a heads up. If you all were expecting a more easy going tale, you're in the wrong place. I've not written much further than this chapter yet, but I know where I want to take it and it's not gonna be super intense exactly, but it won't be very happy for a while either.

Gold had tried not to think too much about Emma after their last encounter. He still felt a little guilty that he hadn't warned her more about what Regina had planned. But then again, she was insistent that she didn't want his help. Though while he tried not to think about her, that didn't mean he hadn't.

But until he turned, gun ready to fire, to see her standing mimicking his own defensive position he had in fact temporarily put thoughts of her out of his mind. After the whole thing with Mr. French and then speaking with Regina, his mind was as far from Emma as could be. When angry, his thoughts rarely contained Emma. But he was still angry and seeing Emma didn't even quell that feeling.

Her stubbornness was starting to get to him and he found it incredibly irritating. He didn't understand why she was so reluctant to come anywhere near him. It seemed rude almost. That was, until he remembered who he was in this town and who he  _really_  was. She was right to want to stay away from him. But with how much he was beginning to feel for her, it hurt a bit more than he was willing to admit. And so with his hurt in the background of his mind and his anger at the front, he was less than pleased to see her in his home.

"Sheriff Swan," he ground out in greeting, not lowering his weapon.

"Your neighbor saw your front door open. They called it in," she explained, also not lowering her gun, her tone terse and uninviting. The pregnancy thing still had her rattled and it was screwing with her head.

"It appears I've been robbed."

"Funny how that keeps happening to you," she said, not at all sounding like she found it funny in the slightest. Still, neither of them lowered their weapons. And yet, neither seemed to be alarmed by this at all. Though a small part of Emma wasn't too pleased at the thought that the father of her unborn child would so readily aim a gun at her, especially since seeing that she wasn't the person who'd broken in.

"Yeah, well," he began, his voice low and scratchy, "I'm a difficult man to love." And then he finally lowered his gun.

The words hit Emma like an ice-cold bucket of water. It wasn't that she even considered what her feelings were in regards to him as love, but hearing the word out loud, from his mouth, talking about himself, it rattled her. And the first thing that came to her mind was:  _not that difficult_. And she wanted to kick herself. Thank god she didn't say it out loud.

But still, even to think it was preposterous. She was  _not_  in love with him. A strong infatuation and certainly lust, yes, but love? No. No, definitely not love. And she was going to try her damndest to make sure it didn't progress to that either. The last thing she needed right now was to start falling in  _love_ with him. Feelings were one thing; love was a whole different thing entirely.

She too lowered her gun and looked at him. "Right, well, seeing as how I'm Sheriff and all, thanks to you," she said pointedly, but it wasn't actually in a thankful sort of tone, "looks like I'm gonna have to check the place out." Her tone was dry and morose. She really didn't want to walk around his house and remember the last time she had been in it, though her eyes did flicker back to the front door and she couldn't help but conjure an image of herself slamming the man before her into it and kissing him.

His voice interrupted her musings and she turned back once more to look at him. "No, you can go now. I know exactly what was taken and who did it," he stated firmly as he stood there with his cane out in front of him, both hands resting on it. "I've got it from here."

She rolled her eyes at him as she fiddled with her phone. "No, you don't," she said, moving a bit towards him as she spoke. "This was a robbery. Public menace. And if you don't tell me what you know, I'll have to arrest  _you_  for obstruction of justice," she stated just as firmly as he had. There was no playful tone to her voice. Not today. She had too much going on for that right now.

"I have a feeling you don't wanna be behind bars," she added, looking at him. She found it strange how easy it was to look him in the eyes, knowing what she knew. But just being around him disarmed her so; it was almost like magic, if she believed in that sort of thing.

Though she wasn't going to let her defenses down too much. The way he was talking was like he was going to take things into his own hands and she didn't like that at all. A man who set a building on fire just to get someone  _else_  elected to Sheriff; well, no doubt he'd go a bit too far to retrieve something someone had stolen from him.

"Indeed not," he retorted, his lips pulled tightly. He was furious, though hiding it well for the moment. But what Mr. French had taken from him was very dear to him, a token of his lost love, Belle.

Just because he had feelings for Ms. Swan didn't mean he had gotten over what had happened between him and Belle, though he and Emma had gotten much farther than he and Belle had. That was beside the point. Belle had been one of two women he had let into his heart after Milah. The other he didn't like to think about. But Belle, he had fond memories of Belle, regardless of how he had pushed her away at the end.

Emma quirked a brow at him, wondering if he was going to tell her what he knew or not or if she was going to have to get it out of him the hard way. But he sighed loudly and she was sure her answer was coming.

"All right, his name's Moe French. He sells flowers. He recently defaulted on a loan. A short time ago, we had a little disagreement over collateral."

_Well that was easier than I expected._

"Okay. I'll go get him, check him out."

"I'm sure you will, assuming I don't find him…"

He just couldn't help himself. It wasn't that he didn't have confidence that Ms. Swan would be able to track him down. But this was personal. He wanted to handle Mr. French himself and make him pay for what he had done to Belle. To him it didn't matter that he hadn't meant to do anything wrong, nor that he didn't currently remember what he did. He just wanted him to pay.

He laughed darkly before continuing, Emma giving him an odd look. She hadn't heard him laugh like that before. It didn't exactly scare her, but it made her uneasy.

"Let's just say bad things tend to happen to bad people."

"Is that a threat," she asked, not showing even a tiny bit of her unease.

He furrowed his brow at her as he turned to face her. "Observation," he deadpanned.

She said nothing as she looked at him and made to leave his home, only looking back at him briefly as she reached the door and heard him tell her good luck. It was an entirely insincere sentiment and she knew that so she didn't say anything to him in return. But she was determined to find this guy.

Truthfully she was a little pissed on Gold's behalf that someone tried to steal from him, not that she would admit that, of course. But she also needed to find him because she was a little worried what Gold might do to him if she didn't. She may not think of him as a terrible, monstrous guy or anything exactly, but she was no fool. He wasn't a guy to mess with and this Moe French guy had really pissed him off. It was best for everyone involved if she found him as soon as possible.

Not but a few hours later, Ms. Swan had called him up and told him to come to the station to collect his things. He was a bit surprised, really, that she'd managed it that quickly. He had a relative amount of faith that she would find Mr. French and his things eventually, but he didn't think it would be the very same day. And he was a bit disappointed. He had been looking forward to beating the shit out of Mr. French.

He was entirely frustrated with the entire situation. There was more to this than Mr. French just wanting to get back at him, of that he was certain. And he suspected Regina was behind it and it rattled his bones to the core. He would like nothing more than to throttle the both of them, one after the other. There was so much tension and anger building inside of him. And it only grew when he looked at the desk full of his things and the one thing he had actually been worried about was the only thing she hadn't recovered.

"You're welcome," she stated to him proudly. Though he felt she had nothing to be proud about. She hadn't gotten the one thing that mattered to him. She didn't know that of course, but it irritated him just the same, the smug way she spoke like she had done something so grand. She had failed as far as he was concerned.

"You were right," she continued, "Your man Moe ripped you off. It was all still at his place," she added as she plopped down in a chair at the desk. The action irritated him greatly. She really did think she was all done with her work. He'd thought better of her. Pity. His anger was continuing to grow with every passing second.

"And the man himself?" He asked bitterly. She didn't really notice. She was busy feeling proud of herself that she'd gotten Gold's things back already.

"Closing in on him," she answered.

"So, job well-half done, then," he retorted not even looking at her.

"In less than a day, I got everything back," she replied, her tone sounding frustrated. She had actually thought this would've been a good thing, that he would've been happy, perhaps even proud of her.

God, had she really been that stupid to think that? She had. She actually thought he would be proud of her for it. She'd even gone so far as to think that while they had possibly celebrated a bit that he'd gotten his things back so quickly she might actually tell him about her being pregnant.

The notion was laughable now. He wouldn't even look at her really. And the more she spoke with him, and the more guarded he seemed, the less she thought it was a good idea to tell him at all until she absolutely had to or he guessed it himself.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, her tone still irritated, even more so now, perhaps.

"You've recovered nothing," he answered dangerously, his eyes flickering up to meet hers. She didn't like it when he looked at her that way. He looked repulsed. Was it at her, or this Moe guy? She didn't know. She hoped it wasn't about her and didn't  _really_  think it was, but still him looking at her that way didn't sit well with her at all, not after everything she'd found out that morning. "There's something missing," he added and immediately moved to leave the station, not a word uttered in parting.

"I'll get it when I find him," she called after him, causing him to stop briefly.

"Not if I find him first," he growled out through clenched teeth and then kept going, leaving the station for good this time. She just looked after him, a confused and concerned look on her face. She didn't really want to think about what sort of state Mr. French would be in if she didn't find him before Gold did.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Why should she have expected things to go as she had planned? Luck was really not on her side lately. But even so she wasn't exactly prepared for what she saw when she walked into the cabin in the woods. Gold was sitting backwards on a chair shouting at Moe, beating him to a near pulp with his cane.

Without a seconds hesitation, no fear at all that he would hurt her if she got too near, she reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him from hitting the man cowering on the floor in fear once more. "Stop," she commanded him her voice firm, her hand holding his arm forcefully.

Neither the look in her eyes nor the tone of her voice held any note of fear. It was all concern. This was clearly about something more than this man having stolen something from him. He looked more emotional than she had ever seen him. She'd seen him vulnerable looking and sad, but this, this was something completely different. This was a completely broken man.

He turned to look at her and she was shocked by the look on his face. There was anger there, yes, not just that she'd stopped him, but at the man he'd been beating as well, but there was also a sadness she'd never seen in him before. He truly looked broken. Slowly she let go of his arm, looking at him a bit sadly.

Turning his eyes away from hers, he stepped away from the chair and walked a few feet away, turning his back on her. She watched him closely, though she was sure he wasn't going to try anything, and she pulled out her phone to call for an ambulance.

The few minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive passed in silence. The only sounds were the labored breathing from the man on the floor and a few deep, shaky breaths from Gold every so often. Whether they were angry breaths or quiet sobs, she wasn't exactly sure. He didn't turn around.

When the paramedics rushed in Gold was sent outside and Emma watched as Mr. French was placed on a gurney and taken outside. She explained the situation to the paramedics and they told her what they thought the prognosis on Mr. French was before she headed back out.

She wasn't ready to have any sort of serious conversation with him right now, but she had to talk to him. So she figured she'd keep it light. It would benefit the both of them, she figured. And when she saw his more relaxed features as she made her way to him, she was certain he was thinking the same thing.

"So I heard you managed not to break anything he needs. You're lucky, Mr. Gold."

It felt weird, saying his full name like that, but she was trying to be stern. Her tone of voice held a bit of a chastising note to it for sure. She almost sounded like she was going to give him some sort of lecture, but she wasn't. Though she really did think he might've over reacted a bit. Maybe if he would tell her what the hell happened, she would know for sure if he had or not.

"You've got a funny definition of 'lucky'," he retorted, his tone dry, head turning to watch as the gurney was wheeled around to be set into the ambulance.

"You have a funny definition of justice," she said, her brows furrowed sternly, her arms crossing in front of her chest. "What did he really do?" She couldn't help but ask.

He licked his lips, cocking his head to the side at her before he spoke. "He stole," he bit out sharply.

In truth he was now angry with her too and angry with himself. He was angry about everything. He hadn't wished her to hear him at all and was hoping she hadn't heard much when she'd walked in. Luck didn't favor him this evening though, he supposed.

"That reaction was about more than taking a few trinkets. You said something about how he hurt 'her'. What happened to 'her'? Who was that? What did he do?"

This time, when she asked about who some other woman was, her tone wasn't jealous at all. Now was not a time for something like that. She was worried there was someone who might be hurt or something. Even if it was someone close to Gold and she got in the way of whatever the hell was going on between her and him, she wasn't about to be jealous of someone who might be in trouble.

"If someone needs help, maybe I can help," she added.

She was genuinely concerned, not just about whomever it was he was talking about but him too. Everything about his posture, the look on his face, it just wasn't right. It was him, but it wasn't. It was as though he had sort of disconnected himself from this reality, slipped into some other place or time. It was strange for her to see.

"No. I'm sorry, Sheriff. I think you heard that wrong," he replied shortly, his Scottish accent even thicker as he spoke, looking her right in the eyes like he had been the whole time, a sort of stand off between the both of them.

"You really don't wanna cooperate." It wasn't a question.

"Look, we're done here," he said and started to walk away.

But she wasn't having any of that. Quickly she grabbed his arm to pull him back. "Actually, we're not."

He quirked his brow at her, not understanding what she meant.

"You're under arrest," she said as she began to cuff him. Their eyes didn't stray from one another's the whole time. And he had that damn smirk of his too. It was almost a prideful smirk, like he was proud she was standing up to him and actually arresting him. It would've been easy to let him go, especially since she had feelings for him.

And though it was definitely not the right time to be thinking it, she  _really_  liked the way he was looking at her then. It was kind of hot, her handcuffing him, their eyes locked the way they were, that smirk of his playing on his lips. It seemed like everything they did, no matter how serious the circumstances were, was foreplay. She hated it but was addicted to it.

_God now's really not the time, Emma. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones or something._

"Turn," she commanded.

"What?" He spat back.

"I said turn. Put your hands on the roof of the car. I gotta pat you down," she explained.

"Is that really necessary?"

_Probably not…_

"Yes. You had a gun on you before. Wouldn't want to take any chances you could have another one on you."

He looked at her curiously, an almost sad look in his eyes. "You think I would hurt you?" He asked. It was just above a whisper.

"Just turn around," she said again, avoiding looking him in the eyes.

"You do, don't you. You're afraid of me." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and he almost seemed relieved, like he had wanted her to feel that way, like he wanted her to fear him. Almost, but not entirely, part of him sounded upset about it, part of him sounded like he regretted that she felt that way.

"No. I'm not. But it's my job, so just…turn around, please," she said, her voice a bit softer this time.

He did as he was asked and starting at his arms, she began to pat him down. Her hands quickly moved to his chest and patted at his coat, checking his pockets. She tried not to think about the last time she had touched his chest, him standing in front of her undressing…

_No, stop that._

She shook her head a bit to focus back on what she was doing. This was supposed to be work. Her hands continued down to his legs, being very careful of where exactly she put her hands and soon she was down at his ankles and she patted them down. With her hand on his right ankle, she heard him take a sharp intake of breath, like a hiss of pain.

Without really thinking about it, she moved to pull his pant leg up a bit and look, but he moved his foot away from her quickly.

"Please…don't," he whispered looking over his shoulder and down at her.

She looked back up at him with sad eyes before she stood back up. It was then that she realized that whatever it was, it must be why he carried a cane. Part of her had thought it had been just for show, especially since he  _had_  carried her up the stairs that one night.

"Sorry, I-I didn't-neve rmind. You're clean. Get in," she said pointing at the car. She opened the door and helped him in since it was a little hard for him with his hands cuffed.

They rode back to the station in silence. She didn't know what to say or what to do. There were a dozen things she wanted to ask him or say to him, really, but it all just felt weird. Their whole dynamic had somehow shifted that night. Even though he had asked if she was afraid of him, seemed to care if she was or not, she just felt like whatever he had felt for her wasn't quite what it was before anymore.

She didn't want to admit it, but it hurt a little bit. Sure, she may not know exactly what her feelings for him were, may not exactly think being in a relationship with him was a good idea, and certainly wasn't sure about the whole having-his-baby thing, but whatever her feelings were, they were still there, just as strong as before. And it hurt her that his might not be.

It was stupid, really. All she'd been doing lately was avoiding him or shooting him down like that night she'd accused him of screwing up her car on purpose, but she was stubborn like that. She wanted him, but she didn't  _want_  to want him. And plus she was pregnant with his baby, so that complicated things a bit.

Still silently, she helped him into the station and into his cell, taking his cane from him. It was procedure really. She'd keep it close in case he needed it for something, but still, the last thing she needed was someone seeing that she wasn't following the rules and report it back to Regina.

She stood there as he sat down on the cot inside the cell and she leaned back on a desk behind her, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She nodded her head at him and her eyes dropped to his leg.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Skiing accident," he retorted dryly.

"Really, you ski?" She asked, her tone of voice slightly teasing.

"Not anymore," he ground out through clenched teeth, his tone entirely void of humor.

_Right, no leg jokes, okay._

"You know, Gold, you don't have to be such an asshole  _all_  the time."

"Is that so? Excellent advice, Ms. Swan, I'll keep that in mind," he bit back, looking at her with his head cocked to the side, his lip turned up in a snarl.

"Seeing as how you're currently in a jail cell in  _my_  police station, you might try being a little bit nicer to me," she bit back just as scathingly as he had. She could play ball. He didn't scare her.

"I've tried playing nice. It got me nowhere."

"If you're talking about shit with me, you're outta your damn mind you've tried playing nice. You set a building on fire with me inside it. Then you sabotaged my car, so no, I don't think you've been 'playing nice'," she retorted.

"Did all of that not help you in some way?" He asked, knowing the answer of course. They'd been over that already.

"That doesn't excuse you!" She shouted back, suddenly getting angrier with him. But he was being so stubborn. All this time he'd been trying to get her on his side and now she was actually conversing with him civilly and he wasn't having any of it. It was infuriating.

"Does it count for nothing, because you haven't shown much gratitude," he said in return.

"Really?" She asked, laughing bitterly. "You want me to show you gratitude for what you did, keeping me in the dark like you did, letting me go and make a fool of myself in front of Regina when you  _knew_  what she was doing. No, fuck you, Gold."

"You've already done that, dearie," he replied in just above a whisper, Emma barely catching it.

" _What_ did you say? Wow, you're a prick," she said, shaking her head at him.

This was not how she was expecting this conversation to play out. It seemed to have started out snarky and playful almost, she'd been messing with him, but it had all gotten so serious so quickly and she was all fired up now. And that just made the mess in her mind even more unmanageable.

This man before her, who she was swearing at was going to be the father of her child. At the moment, it wasn't a comforting thought. It scared her if she were being honest. There was really no telling what he might say or do if she told him. It wasn't that she thought he would be angry, but it would just complicate things more than they already were and she didn't want that.

She hadn't been looking for a relationship when she went to him and despite her feelings towards him; she still wasn't looking for that. But with a kid in the mix, well, something told her Gold was actually the kind of guy who would want to be around, want to be in a relationship if there was kid involved. Was she ready for that sort of thing with him? The man that infuriated her so and that she went from hating one minute and having feelings for the next?

He knew that had been wrong to say, the moment it had left his lips. But he was always doing that sort of thing, his mouth voicing thoughts before he had time to swallow them back down. One day he may learn to control that, but he highly doubted it.

"I'm sorry…Emma. I-I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you know what, I'm glad you did. Really. Makes it a hell of a lot easier for me now to just leave you sitting her all night by yourself. Was gonna stick around for a bit, maybe even camp out here, but no, not anymore. I'm done," she added turning to walk away.

"Emma, please," he said, standing and limping a bit towards the bars of his cell.

"What?!" She shouted back at him, her blonde, curly hair flipping over her shoulder as she spun to face him. She was fuming mad, her emotions in general and perhaps heightened by her pregnancy were raging full force in her mind. None of this was going as she wished it to. It was all becoming such a mess.

"What do you want, huh? You gonna try and apologize, gonna go all good guy on me? Because I'm sick of it, really. I hate that you keep doing this; you keep…ugh! No, never mind. I'm not doing this right now. I'm leaving, good night Gold," she said turning around once more and walking out of the station.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand another chapter. Not a whole lot of GS interaction going on in this one, definitely some important bits of stuff going on. Hope you like it. Read, review, but most importantly, ENJOY!XD

He watched bitterly as she left. It was unfair in his opinion. She was just as frustrating to him as he was to her and it wasn't fair that she got to lock him up and leave him there. The fact that he'd gotten himself into this mess in the first place mattered little to him.

Admittedly he supposed he could've been a bit nicer to her, none of this was her fault. Well, she had come to him that night, but so many other things had transpired since then and his anger this evening had nothing to do with her. Not directly anyway. Though he couldn't help but think about how much he wanted her regardless of knowing he shouldn't.

But what was really plaguing his mind with everything regarding Belle resurfacing in his mind, was that this was the first time since Belle he was feeling the things he was feeling. Worse though, he couldn't get it out of his head that he connected more to Emma, they were more alike, and he felt certain Emma wouldn't try to change him, like Belle had wanted to do, cure him of his curse. The thought was just as comforting as it was saddening.

He had loved Belle, whether he realized it at the time or not and it tore at his heart to think that he was having feelings of replacing her with another in the empty spot she'd left in his heart when he'd let her go, when she'd died.

This was something he had not foreseen, his powers of foresight often didn't give out details such as this. And he wondered even if he had seen this coming, would he have tried to stop it from occurring. Truthfully, no. As much as it all confused him, gave him feelings he wasn't sure what to do with, regret was not something he felt about it all.

And so while he spent the whole night uncomfortable brooding on his cot in his cell getting progressively more irritated with everything that was going on and how Emma was making him feel things he hadn't felt in so long, Emma did the same back in her apartment. The whole night she tossed and turned wondering just why she had to have gone to Gold that night two months ago. She could have saved herself a whole mess of trouble if she'd just drunk herself into a stupor that night.

But no, she'd had to sleep with Gold and now she had feelings for him and was pregnant with his baby and having no idea how to tell him about it. She wanted to tell him, knew in her heart of hearts that no matter what was going on between them, he would be pleased that they would be having a child. She knew deep down that he would help out as much as she wanted him to and might even be a good father whether they were actually together or not.

The only issue was not being mad at him about something for long enough to tell him about it. Really, it had to be done. There was no way he wouldn't find out eventually, that much was a given and it would be better for him to find out from her than someone else or when it was just obvious to anyone who looked at her.

She didn't have an answer for her little dilemma when she went to work early that next morning, but she knew telling him while he was in jail and pissed off wasn't the best way to go about it so for now she would wait. Plus even though she'd taken five pregnancy tests, she still needed to go to the doctors and have it all checked out. She'd need to start taking pre-natal vitamins and all of that and, wow, she wasn't ready to have a kid again, but it was too late for that now. And on top of all that, she was still sort of pissed at him.

They way he had been acting the night before, the way he talked to her, she didn't appreciate it. And the more she had thought about it the more pissed she got. She didn't deserve any of it. She had just been doing her job, it wasn't her fault he'd gone and beat the shit out of some guy.

"Morning," she said, her tone dry and emotionless as she stepped into the station. He was already awake and lounging back on the cot against the wall, hands tented in the middle of his chest, one leg crossed over the other.

"You're here early, Sheriff," he commented lazily.

"Yeah, well, thought you might have to use the bathroom or something. Don't really feel like wiping urine out of your cell later."

He cast a sardonic smile her way. "I'm touched. But you're quite right, I could use the restroom…thank you." He sounded earnest enough in his thanks.

"Yeah, whatever," she said making her way to his cell with her keys in hand and unlocking the door as he stood and made his way to the door. His movements were slow and calculating, no doubt his legs were a bit stiff and achy from sleeping on the cot all night.

"Now I'm not gonna have to follow you to make sure you don't try and make a break for it, right?"

"To be perfectly honest, dearie, I don't think I'd get very far," he replied, looking down at his leg.

"Good, we're on the same page then," she said in a clipped tone as she pointed down the hall, hardly even looking at him.

She hadn't intended on going in there and being rude to him, but the second she caught sight of him, she couldn't help herself. He just really pissed her off the night before. The  _nerve_  of him to say what he had. Whether he meant it or not was completely irrelevant to her.

It wasn't until she was eating her lunch that she spoke to him again. Despite her desire to ignore him and give him the cold shoulder for being such an ass the night before, the silence was killing her.

"Pastrami," she announced as she took a bite. "Want half? You know, I still owe you that favor, nice fatty pastrami, delicious way to clear the books," she said, her voice oddly high pitched and playful and she felt it was almost obvious that she was uncomfortable making small talk with him after everything that had happened the day before.

"Oh I don't need reminding that you owe me a favor," he said lowly, before looking over at her as he continued, "and when the day comes for me to make my request, it'll be for more than half a sandwich."

She wasn't entirely surprised that his tone towards her was just as cold as hers had been earlier. And in fact, she almost welcomed it. That would make it easier for her to stay mad at him, because at the moment she  _really_  wanted to be mad at him.

Sure, it would make her whole pregnancy thing a bit complicated if she was mad at him, but that was something she was good at. She could dislike people, caring for them, feeling for them, that was something she had never,  _ever_ , been good at. No reason to start now.

But before she could even think to say anything in return, Regina walked in and interrupted them. It was weird, really, she was giving her a half an hour with Henry out of the blue…But Emma was no fool she knew there was a reason. She suspected she wanted to have a word with Gold and now that he was…detained, it would be a perfect opportunity to do so. But she wasn't going to question it now, she wanted to spend time with Henry, so that's what she did.

When she came back, he looked oddly relaxed; a bit tense still, but a different kind of tense she supposed. She imagined it had something to do with whatever the hell Regina wanted to talk to him about. She was itching to ask him about it, but something told her not to and to just leave him alone. Plus the whole 'being mad at him' thing would only work properly if she pretended to have no real interest in him. He looked kind of lost in thought and she figured she could use a little thinking time of her own. Plus, she had a doctor's appointment to make.

Not even before the day was up, Emma had to release Mr. Gold because apparently, Mr. French had decided to drop the charges. She wasn't listening in on his one phone call but she'd bet even money that a little bit of his influence in this town had something to do with that. It made her realize just how influential and powerful he was around here and she wasn't exactly sure what to make of it, but she let him go without question.

And that was it for the day. He was released and they'd barely spoken and she'd made an appointment to see the doctor the next day and get everything all checked out. He was pissed when he left; she was pissed when he left. So, all in all, things were going swimmingly. And that was sarcasm.

And things were going even more  _swimmingly_  when she ran into that writer guy again after her doctor's appointment, wherein she found out she was indeed pregnant and got to see what was supposed to be her baby, though really just kind of looked like a blob on the little ultrasound monitor. She'd been about to turn down having the picture of it printed for her but realized that would probably seem odd so she didn't. Instead she tucked it away in her coat pocket where she intended it to stay forever.

"I've been meaning to bump into you. As a matter of fact I was hoping we might grab that drink you promised," he said as he walked out of the diner towards her. She was hardly paying attention; she was hankering for a donut really badly. Cravings apparently. Plus she was meeting Mary Margaret.

"Is that you asking me out," she replied.

_Jesus Christ, Emma, are you flirting with him? You're carrying another man's child!_

_Shut up, it's harmless and it's not like Gold and I are a couple. I'm still pissed at him remember?_

_But you want to be with him, even though you're mad at him!_

_Shut up! It's not a good idea for me to be with him. We both know it._

_Idiot._

These internal arguments were becoming a regular thing for Emma. It seemed no matter what she did, she was wagging a war inside of her own mind about everything and anything to do with Gold. And this cute guy, who as far as she could tell wasn't really all that bad, despite her actual lack of wanting much to do with him. But he sure was cute.

"If putting a label on it makes you more comfortable, sure, let's call it a date."

_Shit, nice going, Emma._

"I thought you came here to write, find inspiration," she replied, in a tone that  _definitely_ suggested flirting. But it really was harmless, wasn't it? Or maybe it wasn't. He was a cute guy; she had a thing for his stubble. Plus, something told her he seemed like a much safer option than Gold.

Not that she wanted a relationship with the guy. In fact, far from it…at least with where she was in her life. But a few dates here and there, a few  _get togethers_  so to speak wouldn't be so bad. And even if she did end up having feeling for him, she suspected he'd be a lot less likely to hurt her than Gold.

"I'm optimistic about our date," he replied smoothly.

"See, I have a policy, I won't go out with guys who won't tell me their name. Find it weeds out the ones who like to keep secrets like they're already married, or store body parts in their freezer," she said.

It wasn't until after the words had left her mouth that she found the humor in them, apart from the obvious bit of humor, of course. No, it was funny because she didn't actually know Gold's name, not his first name anyway. There hadn't even been one listed when she'd looked him up. That was kind of weird really, but it just seemed different than this guy not telling her his name.

"It was nice talking to you," she added as she moved around him. She really wanted that donut.

"It's August," he said, not turning around to look at her as she walked away. "August W. Booth," he added shortly thereafter, finally turning around to look at her, seeing that she too had turned back to face him.

"Really, with the middle initial?"

"'W's for Wayne," he returned.

"So there goes your reason for not meeting me here," he said pointing to the entrance way to the diner as he made his way back out to the street, "after work," he finished, turning and walking to his bike without another word.

She rolled her eyes playfully at him before turning around and walking into the diner, the tiniest hint of a smile playing on her lips. Yeah, he was cute; and safe as far as she could tell; safer than Gold at any rate.

 _Only because you have_ actual feelings _for Gold_ , her subconscious chimed in, which she pointedly ignored as she sat down in front of Mary Margaret.

It was almost comical to Emma that Mary Margaret thought she hadn't noticed that she'd continued to see David. She was sort of in tune with lying and secretive behavior, it had been essential to doing her job correctly back in Boston. But regardless of how silly the conversation was, her having already known what Mary Margaret wanted to talk to her about, it was a nice change of pace from talking about herself. And it would've stayed that way…if the sonogram in her pocket hadn't fallen out onto the table when she got up to leave.

And though she tried her best to snatch it up before Mary Margaret could even register what had happened, things didn't go as planned. She supposed it was less of Mary Margaret being nosy than that she had simply been trying to help as she picked it up from the table.

Her eyes widened as she looked at the picture in her hand as her eyes flickered up to meet Emma's. Though surprise was not the only thing Emma registered in her friend's eyes, there was pity as well, and quite a bit of it. That seemed odd to her.

"Emma…" Mary Margaret began in a whisper, her eyes flickering from side to side to see if anyone else was paying attention to them. No one else was. "I'm so sorry…I-I thought you said you hadn't done anything more than kiss him…" she added, trailing off, the sound of pity heavy in her tone.

And it took a moment for Emma to figure out what Mary Margaret was talking about, since Emma hadn't breathed a word about her and Gold to anyone, least of all Mary Margaret. But it was the piteous look and tone that made Emma realize what was going through Mary Margaret's mind at the time. She thought the baby was Graham's. That's why she was so sorry, because Graham was dead, the supposed father of her child. Almost bitterly, she wondered what Mary Margaret would think if she knew the truth.

"I-uh…It's fine," Emma said hastily as she snatched the picture back out of Mary Margaret's hands and tucked it back in her coat pocket.

"No, it's not," Mary Margaret whispered and grabbed Emma's wrist, stopping her from leaving.

Emma bit the inside of her cheek and looked around before her eyes returned to her friend. "Look," she began, and looked around once more. "Not here, okay? Later."  _Maybe_.

"I'm going to hold you to that, Emma."

"I know."

Until she had to leave to meet August at Granny's for that drink they were supposed to have, all Emma could think about was what she was going to say to Mary Margaret. Should she tell her the truth about the baby? It was a risky move and she didn't really want to think about what Mary Margaret would say if she told her she had slept with Gold. It was one thing for Mary Margaret to find out that she was pregnant, but she thought her friend might have a heart attack if she found out who the father  _really_ was.

Thoughts of what sort of conversation she would have with her roommate later plagued her for hours. But she had to admit; her little outing with August had driven the issue from her mind a bit.  _A bit._

He  _was_  very cute. There was just no getting around it. And he had a sense of humor. What woman wouldn't want all of that, right? And yet, she didn't really. Not as much as she could or should perhaps. He was fun and cute and she could shamelessly flirt with him for hours, but she didn't  _want_  him. Not in the way that she wanted Gold, not in the way that she was drawn to Gold.

The two men were so different and the way she was around them was so different but at the same time, she had no doubts that had she not slept with Gold and made things weird, she could easily have that same flirtatious relationship with him as she did with August. In some instances even, despite her best efforts, the flirting with Gold still happened, even when she was pissed at him.

And for a moment, feeling a little bit lighter after her drink with August, Emma had forgotten about what she would be going home to that night. Though when she walked in the door to see Mary Margaret sitting at the kitchen table with cups of hot chocolate and cinnamon sitting out, it was clear that Mary Margaret hadn't forgotten about the conversation she wanted to have with Emma.

Emma sighed as she shut the door behind her and looked over at Mary Margaret. "Hey, look, uhh, I'm kinda tired so I was jus-"

"No. You said later, it's later," Mary Margaret said, cutting her off, her tone more firm than Emma had ever heard it. "You've been acting weird a lot lately, and now I know why and now we need to talk about it," she went on.

Emma sighed once more, heavier this time. And then, reluctantly, she made her way over to the table and sat beside her friend, grabbing up her mug of cocoa and taking a small sip of it. God did it taste good, soothing her pregnancy cravings for sweets.

"I'm so sorry, Emma," Mary Margaret began, giving her that damn piteous look again. Emma bit her lip and continued to stare at the table, hoping Mary Margaret would just talk some more and she wouldn't have to say anything. "Now I understand how you were after he died. You were just trying to stay strong…for the baby."

"Ummm, actually," Emma said, still not looking up from the table, "that's not exactly that case. I uhm, I wasn't going to tell you…at least not yet," she added in a mutter, "but I guess there's really not much else I can do at this point. The truth will come out at some point anyway."

"What do you mean?" Mary Margaret chimed in, genuine curiosity and confusion written on her pale features.

"When I told you that all I had done with Graham was kiss him, well, I wasn't lying." Emma looked down and away in shame before continuing. "Graham isn't the father." She didn't look up again for a minute, and Mary Margaret didn't say anything. Emma just fiddled with her hands where they rested on the table.

"Say something," Emma nearly barked in nervousness as she slammed her hands on the table.

Mary Margaret jumped and Emma felt bad, but she was freaking out inside. This was going to be the first time she said anything about what happened between her and Gold to anyone besides Gold himself.

"I-Who? Who's the father?"

Yeah, she'd been expecting that. But that didn't meant hat she wanted to answer that question. And then guilt bubbled up inside her at the thought. Gold really wasn't all that bad, not to her at any rate but still, the fact that someone else was going to find out she'd slept with him and was pregnant with his kid was not something she felt she was ready for.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and rubbed her brow anxiously. "Ok, look," Emma began, steeling her nerves for what she was about to admit to Mary Margaret. "Before I tell you, I just-" She sighed heavily. She'd been doing a lot of that lately.

"You can tell me anything, Emma."

"I know," she breathed. "I just-Don't judge me too harshly and…well, I just want to clarify that uh…I uh…well, I'm the one who initiated it. Not him." She wanted to make that point clear before she told her, because she just had a feeling that Mary Margaret might think the worst of Mr. Gold, might think he had taken advantage of her in some way. But that wasn't the case. If anything, Emma had taken advantage of him.

"Ok…So wh-Who's the father?"

Emma clenched her eyes shut tightly and took a deep steadying breath before opening them again to look back at her friend. "Mr. Gold," she answered firmly. She was actually impressed that her voice hadn't been shaky or that she hadn't chocked out the name.

Again, there was a moment's silence and Emma could've sworn it had been a whole hours worth of silence, though it was really more like one minute at the most. Emma eventually looked back up to see that Mary Margaret was just staring at her in complete confusion. The pity was gone, sort of, and Emma was thankful that there wasn't disgust written on her friend's face. That would've been worse than anything. There was certainly shock though along with her confusion. She'd expected that for sure.

"I-How?" She asked. "I mean, I know  _how_ , but I mean, well, how?"

Emma almost chuckled and she probably would have had she not still been freaking out. "Well, you know how I told you that after Graham died I got drunk at the station and fell asleep there?" Mary Margaret nodded. "I lied."

"Evidently."

"I'm sorry I lied. But I-Well, it's not that I regretted what I did exactly, but more that I realized it wasn't really the best thing for me to have done. I mean there were definitely better ways for me to have dealt with my grief. But I just wanted,  _needed_  well, you know," she said, her voice trailing off at the last bit.

"Emma…" Mary Margaret said, shaking her head.

"I said no judging."

"I-I'm not." Emma leveled a hard stare at her. "Okay, I am a little bit. But Emma… _Mr. Gold?"_

Emma clamped her hands over her face in distress. "I know, I know. But he's actually not that bad, I swear," she said, trying not to sound like she might not really believe that. The thing was, she did believe he wasn't that bad.

Though maybe her gauge of 'that bad' wasn't quite at the same level that everyone else's might be. But was that really a problem? Really, though, it was her life, and her choices. She hadn't always been the best person either, so why should she judge him more harshly than she judged herself. That didn't seem fair.

Mary Margaret just looked entirely skeptical. She'd expected that too. Everyone in town except for herself and possibly Regina seemed to be afraid of him. And while she couldn't exactly say that she didn't understand to some degree why that might be (she supposed he could be sort of intimidating if he wanted to be) she definitely wasn't afraid of him.

"I know he's a little…rough around the edges," she said shrugging, more at her own choice of words than at Mary Margaret in general. That sounded totally cliché and she hated it but that was a decent way of explaining it. "But there really is a lot more to him than people think."

"Yeah, you said that before but you didn't tell me why you think that," Mary Margaret replied.

"Well yeah, 'cause it's not really my business to tell. I'm pretty sure what he told me he hasn't ever told anyone else."

"Really? He told you a secret?"

"Well I don't know that it's a secret, it might be, but it's definitely not something he talks about with people. I mean he hardly said much about it to me even."

"…So…are you two…have you been…dating?" Mary Margaret asked tentatively. It was clear to Emma that she was trying to wrap her head around it but that it wasn't working very well.

"Uh, no…It's uhm…well, it's complicated." Again, it was totally cliché but it summed it all up rather nicely. If there was ever a word to describe her…relationship with Gold, it was 'complicated'.

"I bet," Mary Margaret commented as she took a sip of her cocoa, eyes still wide in shock. "So…have you decided what you're going to do?"

"About the baby? Yeah…I'm keeping it. There's no way I could ever give up a kid again, not after being with Henry. I couldn't do that another time. No way."

"Have you told him?"

Emma just looked at Mary Margaret sheepishly.

"Ah," Mary Margaret sighed and took another sip of her cocoa. "Are you going to?"

"I haven't decided yet. I'm uh, well, I'm sorta mad at him right now."

"Shocker."

Emma's eyes widened at Mary Margaret's gall.

"Wow, sorry, that was rude," she spoke up again, seeming surprised herself that she had said that out loud like that. "I just mean that most people generally seem to be mad at him a lot…. What did he do?"

"Uh…well sometimes he's just an asshole."

Mary Margaret looked exceptionally surprised by Emma's bluntness about the issue. And, again, it was entirely expected. But it was the truth; he was just an asshole sometimes. That wasn't really the problem though; the problem was that she still liked him despite that fact.

"And uh, I mean that in the best way…?" She said, making it sound like a question. "Look, honestly, I don't know what the hell is going on between us. One minute one of us is being really open with the other and letting the other in and then the next thing you know, we're shutting each other out and it's frustrating as hell, actually. But no matter how much I think about it, I can't get it out of my head that if we were actually together it would be a complete disaster."

"So…you've thought about actually dating him then?"

_Shit._

"Well, I am having his baby so…yeah, the thought had come to my mind."

"And before you found out you were pregnant? Had you thought about it?"

_Shit, shit!_

"Maybe…?"

"Well whatever the case, you need to tell him, Emma. I can't really believe that I'm saying this, but he deserves to know."

"I know, I know he does," she replied. "I just-I'm not ready to yet. I just need to figure stuff out, you know?"

"You mean how you feel about him?"

"Yeah. I just-" she sighed for the umpteenth time. "I have feelings for him, I do, I just wish I didn't and I wish I knew exactly what those feelings were. But I don't. All I know is that most days I can't stop thinking about him, whether in a good way or a bad way. And it's infuriating."

Mary Margaret gave her a sympathetic look and reached over and placed her hands over Emma's and squeezed tightly. "I'm sorry, Emma. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I-Well, I'm not exactly the best person to go to for advice about relationships."

Emma chuckled breathily and shook her head. This had gone a lot better than she expected it to. And for that, she would be eternally grateful to Mary Margaret for just being there and listening, supporting her without judging her…well, without judging her too much anyway. It was inevitable that she'd be judged a little bit at least.

"I guess you're right….Listen, I really appreciate you not, you know, freaking out or anything."

"It's no problem, Emma. I won't lie and say I'm not shocked and confused, but I also know what it's like to have feeling someone that you probably shouldn't have them for. It'd be really hypocritical of me to judge you for that."

"Yeah, maybe, but still, I really appreciate it. You have no idea how terrified I was to have this conversation with you. I've barely talked about that night at all, even with him."

"Well, I may not understand it exactly, but I'm here for you, Emma, if you need me," Mary Margaret said, squeezing Emma's hand once more in a comforting gesture.

"Thank you…that really means a lot to me. But listen, I really am tired. I think I'm gonna go up to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course. Good night, Emma."

"Night."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you already, 'cause I've been in a writing mood lately. This one just moves the story along a little bit before things really start to get interesting. Read, review and ENJOY!

When Emma woke up the next morning (abruptly due to another bout of morning sickness), she was feeling a lot better after having talked to Mary Margaret. And she had fully intended to tell Gold about being pregnant. Honestly, that was her plan. And as had become commonplace for Emma, things did not go as planned.

While Emma was feeling more certain about what she should do in regards to her 'love life' if one could even call it that, Mary Margaret's took a turn for the worse. Apparently David had lied to Mary Margaret and didn't actually tell Kathryn about the two of them, causing some totally justifiable anger on Kathryn's part. Which was why she's slapped Mary Margaret in the middle of the school hallway.

Emma had been as sympathetic as she could be when her mind was entirely elsewhere. And though she shouldn't have been she was just the tiniest bit relieved that this whole mess with Mary Margaret had decided to unfold at the time it did that way she could put off telling Gold for a little while longer.

At least that's how Emma thought about the whole situation until she'd been called at the station the next day to investigate a car crash at the town line. When she'd gotten there and ran the plates, she'd found out that it was Kathryn's car and Kathryn was missing. And while once more this new development put her plans to tell Gold she was pregnant on the back burner, she wasn't happy about it this time. A missing person was a pretty big deal.

And over the next two days, things only got worse and worse. First there was a power outage during the miner's festival that she was being bugged by while she was trying to make sense of Kathryn's phone records. And then when she could no longer deny the facts, she'd had to bring David in for questioning about Kathryn's disappearance as he'd been the last one to talk to her…and he had neglected to tell her that the first time she'd asked him about it.

But that wasn't the worst part either. When Ruby had found a human heart in a box in the wood, Emma really started to get concerned. This was serious stuff and she had never dealt with anything like this but it worried her more than she cared to admit.

There weren't a whole lot of people in Storybrooke and knowing that one of them had killed someone and cut out their heart didn't sit well with her. Not to mention the fact that there were not many people there she thought would be either capable of murder or have the resources with which to carry it out. She tried to ignore the nagging sensation in the back of her mind that the father of her unborn child fit both those criterion. Though her mind was eased by the fact that he had absolutely no motive for wanting to kill Kathryn.

David did though…and much to her dismay, so did Mary Margaret. And that fact had been hard to ignore when it was found out that the box the heart had been found in was her roommate's jewelry box. Then she'd had to arrest Mary Margaret and standing there looking at her brokenhearted friend, Emma felt terrible. Her own problems had been pushed from her mind while she dealt with Mary Margaret's…well; until her problems overlapped and Gold walked into the station just as Emma suggested Mary Margaret get a lawyer.

"An excellent idea," he chimed in. She hadn't even heard him walk in. How did he always do that? He had a cane for Christ's sake.

"What are you doing here?" She asked accusingly crossing her arms over her belly even though she was hardly showing at all at this point and she could see Mary Margaret give her a reproachful look out of the corner of her eye.

She had actually sort of forgotten that Mary Margaret knew about her and Gold and the baby and knew she thought she should probably be a bit nicer to him. Though Emma reasoned that Mary Margaret didn't know him quite like she did and she felt he still deserved her cold demeanor.

She wasn't sure why she was saying it like that but after going so many days without seeing him it was weird that he just showed up out of the blue. Plus, while she _had_ decided she was going to tell him about the baby, she was still mad at him. And she would have liked to be the one to go speak to him. She hated when he just snuck up on her. She liked to plan ahead before interacting with him. It didn't tend to go so well if she went about it on a whim.

"Offering my legal services," he answered simply.

"You're a lawyer?"

"Ever wonder why I'm so adept at contracts?" He asked and Emma rolled her eyes. Then he directed his next words to Mary Margaret. "I've been following the details of your case Ms. Blanchard and I think you'd be well advised to bring me on as your counsel," he suggested.

And all of that was true. He had been following the details of her case very closely for more reasons than one. The obvious had to do with his deal with the Mayor. He'd wished he'd have had enough influence on his own to get the charges dropped from his assault on Mr. French, but that hadn't been the case. He'd made a deal with the Mayor. Though she wasn't as specific as she should have been.

People never knew how to deal with him properly. One forgotten word, one slip up, created dozens of loopholes. They really ought to be more careful. But he supposed that since she hadn't been, it really worked out in his favor.

But his deal with the Mayor wasn't the only reason he was interested in the case, nor was it simply because of who Mary Margaret really was. After what he had said to Emma while he had been in jail, he'd done quite a bit of thinking. Too much thinking to be perfectly honest, but it had been necessary.

The conclusion he'd reached was that he had been in the wrong on more counts than Emma had by far. One stupid decision she'd made on one night while she was plagued with grief and probably a bit of shock did not mean she deserved the misfortune of him having feelings for him, nor her having them for him. She deserved far better. And while he knew it couldn't be him he could at least make it up to her some way.

Helping Mary Margaret as best he could while still following through with his end of his bargain with the Mayor was the only idea he had come up with. It wouldn't be easy certainly. The Mayor could easily create some problems for him, especially now that she knew he was awake so he would have to tread carefully.

Though he also didn't want to give away his motivations to anyone, least of all Emma herself. He didn't want her to think he was only doing it to curry favor with her in an attempt to get her to forgive him. He had moved past that, feeling no matter how much he wished for it, he did not deserve that from her. He barely even deserved her tolerance.

"And why is that?" Mary Margaret asked in return.

"Well because the Sheriff had me arrested for nearly beating a man to death and I managed to persuade the judge to drop the charges," he replied.

And then Emma chimed in. "Asserting your influence isn't what's needed here, we need to find the truth."

And this was why she hated him so much sometimes. There was no reason aside from her personal feelings about him to turn down his help. It was just a silly act of defiance because she was still pissed at him. She just didn't want his help. She wanted to figure this all out without his help just to prove to herself that she could do it, that she didn't _need_  him for  _anything_.

Why couldn't she just let him help as best he could? God knows she could really use some help with how much evidence was piled up against her friend. But it just infuriated her that she knew he might actually be able to do something about all of this. And then she got even more pissed when she remembered that she was supposed to stop being mad at him so that she could tell him she was pregnant.

_Son of a bitch, I hate everything. Goddamn him. Why did I have to sleep with him?!_

_Shut up!_ She countered her own pesky subconscious before it could try to give an answer to her rhetorical question…something along the lines of her having enjoyed it at the time.

"Asserting influence may be exactly what's needed here," he retorted.

"What's needed here is for me to do my job," she countered.

_Jesus Christ._

"Well no one's stopping you. I'm only here to help," he ground out in frustration. Would it kill her to just let him help for crying out loud? Could she just let him do this small thing to try and make up for everything else he'd done to her?

"Enough!" Mary Margaret exclaimed from behind bars, thoroughly annoyed by their bickering. If she had thought whatever relationship existed between Emma and Gold had been weird before, that was only cemented in her brain at this point. "Just go," she added in just above a whisper.

Emma smiled victoriously. "You heard her," she said to Gold triumphantly.

"No, I was talking to you," Mary Margaret clarified and Emma whirled her head around to look at her friend. She couldn't believe it. She thought she'd be on her side.

_Uhm…there are no sides here, Emma. She's the one in jail remember?_

"Oh Emma, he's right, I need help," she continued, "and you need to do your job or else I'm screwed. So just please do your job the best you can and you'll prove me innocent," she said nodding her head. To Emma it sounded like she was trying to reassure herself that Emma could do it and she really hoped she wouldn't disappoint her friend.

"Until you do, I need some practical help."

"Trust me," Gold chimed in again, taking a few steps closer to the pair of them, "this is in Ms. Blanchard's best interests."

Emma ignored him. "Good luck, Mary Margaret. I hope  _your_ best interests are what he's looking out for," she said as she walked away, glaring at him as she walked past him.

_You're an idiot._

_I know. Leave me alone._

Gold could do nothing but smile sardonically as she stalked past him. While it was true that he wasn't  _really_  trying to win her over, those feelings he had for her still lingered and it bothered him that her feelings for him appeared to have vanished. Though he should have expected it; he had been rather rude to her.

And though he had gone in there without intending to think like that, he couldn't help it when he had seen her again. It had been a few days, and while admittedly not nearly as long as they'd gone without running into each other on other occasions, he had actually missed seeing her. Plus he'd been meaning to try and apologize to her again for what he had said, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Seeing her again though had stirred up that feeling once more just as much as it had pushed the desire away. It seemed he had the same issue with her that she had with him, he was constantly battling inside his mind about wanting to try and figure out what his feelings were for her and what to do with them and wanting to bury them deep down never to surface again.

At the sight of her though, he was having a hard time remembering why he had wanted to end any sort of romantic entanglements with her. And it wasn't even just that she was attractive (though she did seem to have this sort of glow about her making her even more beautiful). It was the way she looked at him; that fight in her eyes, that determination. It was impressive and he found himself very attracted to it despite himself.

"I can't pay you" Mary Margaret admitted softly as she watched Emma exit the room.

"I didn't ask for money."

"Then why are you doing this?"

_Maybe this is what Emma meant about there being more to him than people think, that he's really not so bad._

"Let's just say I'm invested in your future," was his cryptic answer.

_Nope. I don't see it._

* * *

When the time came that Emma changed her mind about going to Gold for help, she didn't even care anymore. She was so pissed at Regina for what she was doing to Mary Margaret that she would do anything to take her down. And so the next day, after she'd found out about Regina's skeleton keys and suspected her of framing Mary Margaret, she found herself storming back into the back room of Gold's shop.

"Mr. Gold," she said announcing her presence as she walked right up to the desk he had back there.

"Just taking inventory," he pointed out as he tried and failed to bite back his victorious smile.

He shouldn't be pleased that she had decided to come to him for help, even though it  _had_  been what he wanted from the start, but he just couldn't help himself. This was just how things were going to work involving her, always wanting and not wanting her to come to him in equal measure, same as she wanted to and didn't want to come to him all the time.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Swan? Any developments in the case I should be aware of?" He asked as he took a seat and looked up at her.

"Yes," she began firmly, "Regina set her up." Her hands were tucked into her pockets and a look of fierce determination in her eyes. That was the look he liked best on her.

"And this surprises you?" He asked sarcastically as he clasped his hands together on the desk before him. "Show me your evidence and we'll get this over with immediately," he added with a small smile.

"Yeah, that's the thing, there isn't any," she replied, placing her hands on his desk and leaning in slightly, "anything that's court worthy," she added in clarification. "But I know it now."

"Look who's suddenly become a woman of faith," he responded, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, giving him a resigned sort of look before he spoke up again.

"Why are you here, Ms. Swan? To spin conspiracy theories?" He knew why she was there, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"I need help," she stated firmly.

_Not quite there, dearie._

"From me?" He asked with a chuckle. She needed to say it.

"Every time I've gone up against Regina I've lost, except for once, when I became Sheriff and  _you_  helped," she explained.

_Almost there._

"As I recall, you don't exactly approve of my methods," he said, tone low and teasing. Oh yes, he would get her to say it.

"I approve of your results."

_That'll do._

"And this time I have something more important than a job; I need to save my friend."

"And you're willing to go as far as it takes?" He needed to be certain. This was his way of getting out of any repercussions for his actions later.

"Farther," she whispered dangerously.

"Now we're talking," he said with a smile before turning back to the genie lamp on his desk. "Fear not, Ms. Swan. Regina may be powerful, but something tells me you're more powerful than you know."

He looked back up at her, that ghost of a smile on his lips still. Emma wasn't sure what to make of his words, but they stirred a funny feeling in her gut and it wasn't the nauseous kind. She wondered if he really believed that and wondered why he seemed to have so much faith in her. And she couldn't help but feel lighter somehow that he did. For reasons she didn't really want to think about, she liked that he believed in her.

 _Jackass, this is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Why does he have to do this and make me have feelings for him? How does he even have this power over me? And why, why,_ why _do I kinda like that he does?_

And as he looked back down away from her again, she wondered if maybe she should tell him then. They were on agreeable terms for the time being, maybe then was a good time. But then again, maybe it was best to wait until they'd proven Mary Margaret innocent. Maybe once she was free there could be a little celebration, victory party sort of thing and she would tell him then? Yeah. That sounded like a good idea.

Though when her and Gold got back to the station, she was glad she hadn't said anything as it looked like things were still getting worse before they got better. Mary Margaret was gone. Emma had no idea how she'd gotten out of her cell or where the hell she would go but she was gone and that was not a good thing.

"Ms. Swan, I know time is of the essence," Gold interrupted as she ushered Henry out of the station, "but if Ms. Blanchard doesn't return, her future's in jeopardy and if you're caught helping her so is yours." The least he could do was warn her of that. He was trying to do as much as he could without breaking his deal with Regina.

"I don't care," she stated firmly. "I'd rather lose my job than my friend." And then she turned and headed out of the station on her way to go look for Mary Margaret. She  _had_ to find her. If Regina found out that she'd escaped, it would ruin everything.

He couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. Her determination, her fight, her  _drive_ , it was really unlike anything he had ever seen. She was incredible and he had no doubts she would find Mary Margaret and return her to her cell before the arraignment. And this would not please Regina. But it pleased him very much on multiple levels.

With one last glance back at the empty cell, he made his way back out of the station. He saw Henry a little ways down the road walking back towards his house.

"Henry," he called out after the boy. It was dark and he really shouldn't be walking home at night. Sure, it wasn't far, but he had his car at the station, no reason he couldn't drive the boy home.

Henry turned back to Mr. Gold. "Why don't I drive you home. It's late and it's dark…and, there's a killer on the loose," he added for good measure, though he knew that was a lie.

"Ms. Blanchard  _didn't_ kill Kathryn," Henry argued back.

"I didn't mean her, Henry. I meant whoever  _did_  kill her. I'm just as sure of Ms. Blanchard's innocence as you are."

"You are?"

"Of course I am. I  _am_  her lawyer, remember?"

"Well yeah, but…that doesn't mean you don't think she's guilty," Henry reasoned.

"I suppose you're right. But I don't think she's guilty. I don't believe Ms. Blanchard would hurt anyone."

_Well, Snow White might, but not Ms. Blanchard._

"So you really do believe that she didn't kill Kathryn?"

"Yes. I wouldn't have offered to be her lawyer if I didn't think that she was innocent. Now, please, let me drive you home, if only for my peace of mind."

"…Okay…thank you," Henry said as he walked over to Mr. Gold's pristine Cadillac. Mr. Gold opened the door for him as he got in and shut it behind him.

The drive to the Mayor's home passed in complete silence. The only sound to be heard was their breathing. Luckily, it was a short drive. Gold wished he knew what to say to Henry, how to carry a conversation with him but it had been so long since he'd spent much time around a child. It was something he missed dearly and hoped he'd have the chance for again some day, though he doubted it.

"Thank again for the ride, Mr. Gold," Henry said as he exited the car.

"It was no problem."

But Henry didn't immediately walk towards his house. He stood there for a moment just outside the car, hesitating.

"Is everything okay?" Mr. Gold asked.

"You promise to help Mary Margaret when Emma brings her back?" Henry asked. And by the tone of his voice, Mr. Gold knew the desperation the boy was feeling. And the fact that he was asking him, of all people, he knew the boy was really very worried about Ms. Blanchard's fate.

"I promise, Henry. I will do all that I can to help your mother and Ms. Blanchard."

"My mother?"

"Ms. Swan," he clarified.

"Oh, I was confused…for a second I thought you meant my other mom."

He almost laughed, though that wouldn't have been appropriate. "Ah, sorry for the confusion. No, I meant I'd do whatever I can to help Ms. Swan prove Ms. Blanchard's innocence. And I'll try extra hard, just for you."

And even Gold himself was surprised by the truth behind his words. He  _had_  always been fond of Henry and he hated to see the boy so distressed. It gave him all the more incentive to work his way through the loopholes in his deal with Regina.

"Really? You  _promise?"_  Henry asked once more.

"It's a deal," he vowed and he held his hand out across the console of his car as close as he could get to the opposite window, waiting for Henry to shake his hand in agreement. An image of him doing the same with Baelfire sprang to his mind and sense of sorrow filled him. He wouldn't break this deal.

Henry took it, albeit a bit tentatively, but he took his hand and shook it nonetheless. "Thank you….for the ride and for helping Ms. Blanchard and Emma, too."

"You're welcome, Henry. Now go on inside before your  _other_  mother comes looking for you."

Henry nodded and turned, walking up the walkway to his house. And Gold couldn't help but call after him, "Sleep well, Henry." And the boy simply waved over his shoulder back at him. A ridiculous sort of grin was plastered on Gold's face the entire drive back to his own home. He truly was fond of Henry. In many ways, he reminded him of his own son.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, I'm not too pleased with the writing in this one but it was kinda rough to get through. This is where it starts to get a bit 'intense' in a way, idk. I'd tell you to enjoy, but I can't really say that in good faith, but you know...read and review...

_What the hell?_ Emma thought as she woke up, hands tied behind her back and a scarf around her mouth. And then she remembered. That fucking crazy lunatic she'd picked up on the side of the road had drugged her.

 _Oh no, the baby_ , was her first thought.

She wasn't a doctor and had no idea what sort of effects a knock-out drug would have on a baby but she doubted it was anything good. But at the moment there were other things she needed to be worried about too. Not that her unborn child wasn't important, because it was, but she also needed to try and get the hell out of this place before the guy came back. And she needed to find Mary Margaret. She could worry about herself later.

As she sat up and regained a bit of her senses, she saw the little teacup she'd been drinking from and got an idea. Sitting up, she tossed one of the throw pillows from the couch on top of the teacup and stomped on it, cracking the cup into tiny shards of glass.

She looked around cautiously, hoping the guy hadn't heard the sound of the breaking glass. And as far as she could tell, he hadn't. So she grabbed up a piece of it and cut through the bonds tying her hands together and freed herself. Now she just had to avoid the lunatic and find Mary Margaret.

And she's found her all right, tied up in another room, tied to a chair. But before she could free her so they two of them could escape, the man, whose name was Jefferson apparently, had caught her before they'd been able to get out of the house.

Honestly, he was the strangest guy she'd met in town. Mainly because he believed in Henry's theory as well, the theory that everyone in town was a cursed fairytale character stuck in this little town because of a curse. And he'd forced her to try and make a magic hat so he could get back 'home' using magic.

It was insane. He was mad. _Literally_. He thought he was the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. And he was certainly crazy enough to be, that was for sure. But that didn't make her feel any better. But she tried anyway, even though she knew it couldn't work. She'd have done anything if it meant he would let her go.

Eventually she'd gotten him convinced that she might actually believe him (though she didn't, not at all. He was insane). And in his moment of weakness, his moment of hope that she believed him, she'd used that to his advantage and knocked him out with his own telescope. And then she made her way back to the room Mary Margaret was being kept in.

She immediately started in on undoing Mary Margaret's bonds while whispering hurried assurances that everything would be okay. Neither one of them would have guessed just how wrong she was.

"Emma, look out!" Mary Margaret shouted and Emma had just enough time to turn around before Jefferson tackled the two of them to the ground. He'd hit her right around the middle, hard and all three of them fell to the floor roughly. She didn't even have time to notice that the pain in her abdomen was unusual. It shouldn't have hurt that bad, even if he had hit her hard.

She had tried to scramble for his gun where it had fallen when he'd attacked but he had grabbed her by the foot and she fell back down again, once more, right on her stomach. But in her frenzy to try to escape, she still wasn't paying attention to that.

They're scuffle continued and Emma was still too preoccupied with trying to fight him off to notice the pain in her abdomen getting worse and worse by the minute. Something wasn't right. And seeing the scar around the man's neck had only distracted her further. Then the next thing she knew he was flying out the window, Mary Margaret having kicked him out of it.

And without the immediate threat of Jefferson trying to kill the two of them, Emma was starting to feel the pain in her stomach a lot more. Mary Margaret turned to look at her as Emma doubled over in pain, clutching at her belly.

"Emma! Emma, are you okay?"

All she could do was let out an agonizing cry in pain.

"Emma, we need to get you to the hospital…I think-I-" But she couldn't get the words out both because she didn't think she could say it out loud but also because Emma had reached out and was clutching her shoulders for support as she continued to cry out in pain.

"The station-Regina," Emma chocked out between cries.

"Emma," Mary Margaret began as she tried to walk herself and Emma out of the house to get to Emma's car, "don't worry about me. It's you we need to be worried about. I-Should we call someone?"

"No-station-now!"

Mary Margaret didn't know what to do but they had to leave, that much was certain. Emma needed to get to the hospital immediately. But Mary Margaret also had to get back to the station before Regina found out she had been missing. So, she got Emma out of the house and into her cruiser as fast as she could and sped off to the police station.

Emma had stopped crying out in pain by the time they'd gotten there but was still wincing and clutching her abdomen the whole time, her breathing coming out shakily. The first thing she noticed was that Mr. Gold's car was parked at the station when she arrived and she shot a fearful look at Emma. As far as she knew, Emma hadn't told him yet and this would be a pretty shitty way for him to find out.

Emma returned her fearful gaze. "I can't go in. He can't find out like this, Mary Margaret. He can't. It'll kill him."

"Emma you need to go to the hospital…I think he should take you…"

"No, he needs to be here for the arraignment. I'll go myself. Please don't tell him anything…please," Emma begged, reaching out and grabbing Mary Margaret's forearm like a lifeline.

"Emma you can't drive yourself to the hospital," she tried to reason.

"Yes I can. It's not very far. But you have to go now. Regina will be here any minute. I can't loose you too."

That, those words, that's what made Mary Margaret stop trying to argue with Emma. The desperation in her voice was so clear and there were tears brimming behind her green eyes.

"You're the closest thing to family I have, Mary Margaret," Emma admitted, a lone tear falling down her cheek. "Please just get in there. I have to go. Here's the keys for the cell, give 'em to Gold," she pleaded.

"Okay, okay, I'll go. Just…be careful, Emma. Go straight to the hospital."

"I will," she vowed. And she did. As soon as Mary Margaret got out of the car, Emma hurried into the driver's seat and sped off for the hospital.

By the time she got there, her vision was entirely clouded by her tears and it wasn't only from the physical pain she was in. She may not have been ready to have a kid and may not have had everything worked out, but losing it was still the worst thing that could have happened to her. Her heart ached knowing that she was going to lose the baby, but her heart didn't just ache for herself. Her heart ached for Gold as well.

If she had been torn on whether or not to tell Gold before, it was nothing compared to how torn she was on the issue now. Telling him would kill him, she was sure of it. The way he talked about kids, the look he got when he talked about the son he had lost…. No, she couldn't do that to him.

 _But he would want to know, Emma,_ her conscience rung out as she fumbled her way into the hospital.

No. She couldn't. There was no good that could come from her telling him. Not a single good thing at all. He would be crushed. And while half of her was still angry with him, and hated him, she didn't think she could handle telling him that she had been pregnant and lost the baby. He didn't deserve the pain it would cause him.

After everything was done and she was free to go home, with instructions to take it easy and get some rest and told that she would still experience pain for at least a week or so, all she wanted to do was go back to her apartment, curl up on the floor of the shower and cry. She wasn't always emotional, but when she was, she really went for it.

But she couldn't do that. She had work to do. There was still the matter of proving Mary Margaret's innocence and that was at least something she could have some sort of control over; that was at least one thing that she could try and make better.

So as she drove back to her apartment (she couldn't face Mary Margaret or Gold right then or she would lose it) to work on the case from there, she vowed she'd channel all of her emotions into working on freeing Mary Margaret. It was all she could think to do. If she let herself dwell on what happened, she wasn't sure she could handle it.

And for almost a whole twenty-four hours her plan hadn't gone half bad. That in and of itself should have sent up a red flag. Things never went that well for that long, not lately.

Everything had been going too perfectly. She'd managed to avoid Gold as much as possible (it killed her to see him after everything and she felt horrible for not telling him, though she'd reasoned that it was for the best), and she'd even gotten August to help her prove that Regina had framed Mary Margaret. Finding that shard from the shovel had lifted an enormous weight from her shoulders and she had actually started to believe that things were going to start to turn around for her.

Never in her life had she ever felt so foolish. That's what happened when she let herself get attached to anyone or anything. But worse, that's what happened when she actually let herself _believe_ anything, trust anyone.

She'd thought she could trust Gold to do what he always did and make things work out even if she didn't like how he did it. But she was wrong. And she'd thought she could trust August and coming to the conclusion that he had tipped off Regina had crushed her. It was all too much for her. All these feelings were tearing her apart from the inside out.

It all just kept piling on one thing after the other. Graham, her feelings for Gold, Mary Margaret's arrest, the miscarriage, August's betrayal, Gold's inefficiency; it was all too much. She felt like she was drowning and there was no one there to pull her back to the surface.

But she needed someone to desperately. She needed something, anything. Not sex, not this time. (She couldn't have sex anyway, not for a few weeks still after the miscarriage). For the first time in a long time, she _wanted_ to feel something, and not something physical. Though once more, there was only one person in Storybrooke that she felt anything for in any sort of way. And maybe it was foolish of her to go to him again but she couldn't help herself.

After her conversation with Mary Margaret and then the one with August, she just wanted someone who she could take her frustrations out on but also someone to hold her. And oddly enough, she thought Gold could actually be both of those things for her. He'd said he wanted forgiveness from her once; well this would be how he would earn it. If he could just be a human fucking being for one night she'd forgive him for anything.

And so there she was, at his door once again in the middle of the night. And once again her eyes were red and puffy from having been crying.

"Ms. Sw-" he started off smugly as he opened the door, but then he caught sight of the state she was in. "Emma…"

"You said you could fix this!" She shouted and she reached out and shoved him by the chest. He took a few fumbled steps backward and he was surprised he hadn't fallen over. "That's why I came to you!" She shouted again, stepping towards him and shoving him again this time he fell sideways and fell into a small bench in the hallway, his cane falling from his grasp as he fell. (It opened and that's where he kept his shoes).

All he could do was look up at her in shock. He had no idea what had brought this on, but he felt an overwhelming urge to try and assure her that he wasn't finished yet. He didn't lose, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now.

"Emma," he said again, a tad bit tentatively, as he looked at her as she loomed over him. He'd fear she would shove him again if there had been anywhere for her to shove him.

"I trusted you to help me, to fix it!" She was still shouting and though he had nowhere to go, she shoved him again.

Though he was expecting it this time and he grabbed her by the wrist and in one swift movement he had turned her and pulled her down practically in his lap, her back against his chest as he grabbed her other wrist and pulled her arms across her body so that they crisscrossed in front of her.

He held onto her strongly as she tried to struggle against his rather firm grip. And after a few moments with him not letting up at all, eventually her body just sort of sagged miserably against him and he was no longer restraining her so much as he was hugging her from behind.

His grip loosened up, but he kept his arms wrapped firmly around her middle. Albeit a bit difficultly, he shifted and managed to sit up a bit more properly and she was still in his lap. He leaned into her even more and placed his chin at her shoulder, his slightly stubbled cheek brushing lightly against her own.

"It's not over, Emma. We haven't lost yet. There's still hope, still time."

"For what?"

"For me to work a little magic," he whispered.

Emma let her head fall back against his own shoulder and she sighed before shifting around so that she could look at him. Whatever she had been expecting to see when she was eye-to-eye with him, it wasn't what she did see. His expression was so soft. She'd seen his expression soften before, but it was nothing compared to the way he was looking at her right then.

And she shifted a bit more, turning in his lap and placing a hand on his shoulder, eyes never leaving his, not for a moment. One of his hands moved down to the small of her back as she turned in his lap, the other came to a rest on her thigh. Then she did something she honestly never thought she'd be doing. She leaned in and kissed him.

This kiss though, was nothing like the way she had kissed him before. It held none of the urgency; none of the frenzied, unemotional need for human contact. This kiss screamed with a need for emotional comforting. And she was grateful when she felt him kissing her back just as tenderly.

She felt his arm move back up her back until his hand was tangled in her hair and his other hand had moved up to rest on her hip. Her own arms had managed to find their way draped around his neck.

And just as she was really starting to enjoy it, starting to feel a little lighter, it all stopped. Gold was pushing her back away from him. The disappointment at the loss of contact was written all over her face. Though he looked just as disappointed.

"No," he said as he unwrapped her arms from around him. "I won't do this again, Emma. I knew I shouldn't have slept with you the last time; all it did was complicate everything. And you regretted it, don't lie," he hastened to add for she had looked like she was about to contradict him.

"You regretted it on some level at the very least. And so did I. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like I did. The fact that you were the one who came to me is irrelevant. You were upset, rightfully so, and I knew that but I didn't care. And I won't do it again."

Her disappointment left her in an instant to be replaced by an almost shocked look. Almost. Though mostly, she was sort of touched. She hadn't expected that out of him to be perfectly honest.

"That's not what I came here for," she said, wishing he would let go of her arms so she could wrap them around him once more.

"Then what _did_ you come here for? Because it certainly seems that way to me," he bit back sharply.

Her expression softened and though he desperately wanted and needed to know what it was she wanted from him, he found that he didn't much care. He just wanted to kiss her again. That kiss had been completely unlike their last kiss and it had lit a flame of hope inside of him that she might actually feel about him the way that he did about her.

"I just-I-" she cut herself off. She couldn't say it. She couldn't admit that she wanted him, that she needed him. But she did. She needed him right then. It was the only thing that made any sense to her and it didn't make any sense at all but it felt right at the moment.

"What?"

"I needed you. I just needed this…this comfort; someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be all right for once. And though I still don't understand it you were the only one I wanted it from," she admitted in a shaky whisper.

There was no stopping the visible shock from crossing his well-aged features. And as he looked in her eyes, he was even more surprised to see that she seemed to be telling the truth. It sent and odd, tingly sensation throughout his body.

Slowly, he reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before softly caressing her face. He wasn't sure what to say to that, so he said nothing, just stroked her cheek lightly before leaning in towards her and kissing her lightly on the lips once more.

"It's going to be all right, Emma," he whispered against her lips. "As I said before, Regina may think she's powerful but you're not giving yourself enough credit," he said before he kissed again.

"How do you know?" She breathed.

"I have faith. And you should too."

"Yeah, well, I've never been good at that."

"There's a first time for everything, Ms. Swan." And again he kissed her.

She hadn't noticed it as much last time but his lips really were soft. And they seemed to fit against her own perfectly. It was really something she thought she could get used to. But she really shouldn't.

The next morning, she woke up in his bed. They had actually just slept together, as in actually _just_ sleeping. She couldn't remember the last time she'd just shared a bed with a guy. There hadn't even been much more kissing, mostly, he had just held her against him with his surprisingly strong arms.

It had been the soundest sleep she had had in months. But as she looked up at him, her head resting against his chest, a feeling of dread overcame her. She had enjoyed this all too much, she felt too good in his arms. And yes, that was a bad thing, because she really didn't trust him.

An intense feeling of guilt filler her gut at the thought that she had used him again selfishly. And she suddenly realized that for everything that Gold had done to her, what she was doing to him was no better. He was being more of a nuisance, if she thought about it. Nothing he had done to her hurt her all that emotionally, it just irritated how careless he appeared to be.

But what she was doing, she was the one causing harm. She knew what it was like to feel like him, like people only wanted to use her one minute and leave her the next, only to return again when it suited them. And she was doing that to him. Selfishly she was using him, and as she looked up into his eyes, she knew he was falling for her.

She was falling for him as well, but whereas he may be more willing to let it all continue, she wasn't. Letting someone in for real had never been her strong suit, not after the last time she had done it. And even though part of her wanted to give it a shot, wanted to try and make something work between them because she really did enjoy this feeling of being with him, she couldn't. She just couldn't do it.

As these thoughts ran through her head, she felt his lips against her forehead. "Good morning."

She had meant to say 'good morning' back but instead she'd said, "You wake up this early to work at a pawn shop?"

"I like to wake up early, Ms. Swan. That way I have more time to do things. Besides, I'd like to shower before I leave. I could make you breakfast after I get out, I'll only be a moment," he explained.

She felt her throat go dry. He was making this really hard and she felt terrible. And as his brow began to crease, she was certain her hesitation and guilt had shown on her face. She was surer of this as she felt him shift out from under her, severing their contact.

"Nothing's changed, has it, Ms. Swan?" His tone was clipped as he turned off the side of the bed, hands poised on either side of his feet hung over the edge. She didn't know what to say and it wasn't until she heard him scoff that she realized she hadn't said anything.

"I don't know why I'm surprised. Nor can I say that I blame you. You're quite right not to trust me or truly want me other than times when it suits you. I just never thought it would bother me as much as it does." That last part he hadn't meant to say out loud and he busied himself with standing to distract himself, and her if possible, from his words.

"Gold…" she started, though she had no idea what the hell she wanted to say.

"You're a smart woman, Ms. Swan, I trust you can see yourself out," he said stiffly, walking into his bathroom and shutting the door behind him without giving her any time to respond. It wasn't long before she heard his shower running and she made to get out of bed.

As she stood she was painfully reminded that Gold had let her borrow a more comfortable shirt of his to sleep in and she started to feel worse once more. Would it really hurt if she just let someone in for once?

With a self-reassuring sigh, she decided that it would. So she changed back into her own shirt and jacket preparing to leave. And though she knew she shouldn't have and couldn't really explain why she did it, she took his shirt with her. She'd rationalize that she didn't see why she shouldn't have her own souvenir this time around.

What she didn't notice, however, was that while she had walked away with something she hadn't had before, she also left something behind. As she had put her jacket on, the sonogram she still hadn't taken out of her pocket had fallen out. It now rested just underneath Gold's bed.


	14. Chapter 14

For a while, Emma still felt awful and had to keep reassuring herself that she had done the right thing by leaving that morning. That didn't stop it from hurting when Gold was noticeably colder to her the next time she saw him at Mary Margaret's little celebration about it being proven that she didn't kill Kathryn after all. And as a sort of self defense mechanism she was just as cold back.

He had stood off to the side most of the night knowing he wasn't really wanted there in the first place. Only Dr. Hopper, Mary Margaret and Henry had willfully spoken to him. And he was talking to Henry just then.

"You did it," he said in an awed sort of tone. "You helped Mary Margaret."

"I promised you I would," he replied, unable to stop the small smile from rising to his lips.

"Yeah but I didn't think you'd actually do it," Henry admitted and then looked a little flustered realizing that that had definitely been a bit rude to say. "I-I mean—"

Gold chuckled down at the boy. "It's all right, Henry. I do have a bit of a reputation around here after all.

Henry just smiled sheepishly back up at him.

"Go on, why don't you go give Ms. Blanchard that gift you picked out for her?"

"That's right!" Henry exclaimed. "I almost forgot. Thanks!"

"No problem," Gold returned as Henry scurried off. And once again he retreated to the sidelines and made himself scarce. Though as he caught sight of Emma and the stubbled man whom he'd caught poking around his shop earlier that day, a sense of irritation filled him. The fact that she was smiling and possibly flirting with him only irritated him further.

He wanted to kick himself for that fact. After he had come back out of the shower to see that she had gone that morning, he had decided there was nothing left for him to do but follow Emma's lead and end whatever it was between them that had never truly begun in the first place. But the jealousy in the pit of his stomach bubbled up anyway.

She was infuriating; all of it was infuriating. He himself knew it was for the best that they weren't together. Something inside him told him that the time was soon coming when Emma would break the curse, when she would believe. And at that time, there was no doubt in his mind that she would want nothing to do with him when she learned the truth of who he was.

But before he could think more on the issue, Emma had walked over near him where he was standing just a few feet from the door. She was ushering Henry out, as it was getting kind of late for him.

"Hard to let him go, isn't it? Your son," he added for clarification. He would know.

She felt her hands go cold at his words. Just thinking about Gold and children at the same time made her sick with grief and guilt. Not that what had happened had been her fault but she felt guilty for not telling him what happened and still having no plans to ever do so. She had yet to notice the missing sonogram and he had yet to find it.

"Yeah, pretty much the hardest thing," she replied, forcing herself to look him in the eye though she wanted to look anywhere but there. "Speaking of something we weren't talking about," she went on, really not wanting to talk about children with him. She wasn't sure she could. "Was it you?"

_Now what is she accusing me of this time? Oh…I think I know._

"Was what me?" He asked, feigning ignorance because that always worked out for him.

"Did you make Kathryn suddenly materialize? 'Cause is sure played that way to me," she said quirking her brow at him. He was nothing if not resourceful, and backhanded, she wouldn't put it past him. "Was that the _magic_ you were going to work? Because if you kidnapped that poor, innocent woman just to let her go—"

"Are you proposing I'm working _with_ Regina or against her?" He asked, effectively cutting her off.

"I don't know, maybe…diagonally," she said with a small shrug.

"Well, you keep working on that one," he said, barely containing his amusement. "My question's about something else. What do you know about him?" He asked, pointing out the leather clad man he had seen her speaking to.

Emma bit back the immediate retort to ask him if he was jealous. That was _not_ where this conversation needed to go. She was trying to put anything between her and Gold behind her for good.

"Goes by 'August'. He's a writer. Typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble. Why?"

 _Jealous_?

_SHUT UP!_

And damn it if she didn't hope just the tiniest bit that that were true. She wanted him to be jealous of August for talking to her, for flirting with her. She hated herself right then, more than she ever had in her lifetime. When did she get this selfish?

"He was poking around my shop today," he answered, not even looking at her. She tried really hard to not let that disappoint her. "August Wayne Booth, clearly a false name. There's one thing I know about. It's names."

"Writers go by pseudonyms. What does it matter?" She was actually really confused about why he cared. I mean, if he _were_ jealous, it'd be one thing but he didn't appear to be. Besides if that was why he was asking about him, she doubted he'd be asking her directly.

"You trust him?" He asked, turning back to her, a hard look in his eyes as he watched her carefully as she answered.

"Yeah," she replied without hesitation. "A lot more than I trust you," she added and then mentally cursed herself. That was low. Even if he had in fact had something to do with Kathryn's disappearance, she didn't need to be such a bitch to him. Nobody had gotten hurt and everything was working out just fine for the time being…well, _almost_ everything. Plus she really had no proof he'd done anything at all.

He didn't enjoy the ache that filled his heart at her words. While, again, he couldn't blame her for feeling that way about him, he wouldn't lie and say it didn't irritate him. After all, it was he whom she had gone to that night for emotional comfort, not August. And he could have easily brought that up to her, taunt her with it, but he wouldn't. It would do him no favors.

All he could muster was a slight twitch of his lip. He hoped it came off less it left him heartbroken and more that he found it mildly amusing. Though none of it was in any way amusing to him. And then he watched her go back over to August and his anger and jealousy returned.

He didn't need to be around for any more of that. The longer he stayed the more irritated he became. There were other ways he could spend his time that evening and while August was busy with Emma, he decided that was the best time to go snooping around _his_ room. He needed to find out who this man was and what he had come to town for.

What he'd found was even worse than he expected; a picture of his dagger from the Enchanted Forest, the one that had the power to control him, and the one that had the power to kill him. And there was only one person who could possibly know about that knife. He had been very careful about that little detail.

But he would rather hope that Regina had somehow found out about it than face the truth that this discovery came with. His son, Baelfire, the one he had let go of all those centuries ago was the only person he had ever told about his dagger and what it could do. He didn't want to think about what it might mean if that man was his son and was here looking for his dagger.

Unfortunately that was all he could think about. For the first time in months his mind was preoccupied like it had never been before. Not even thinking about everything going on between him and Emma had distracted him this much. His determination to find out if his suspicions were true had even gone so far as to lead him to speak with Mother Superior, which he _never_ did if he wasn't collecting rent.

And what she had told him had not eased his worry at all. She had all but confirmed his suspicions. All he wanted right then was for someone to talk to about all of this. Nothing had ever plagued his mind like this, not in years, _centuries_ ; not since he had first let Bae go.

He cringed when his first thought was Emma when thinking of people he could speak to. What a foolish notion, no matter how fleeting. As if Emma would care at all that his son was in town, possibly there to kill him. No, she was too busy flirting with the man to care about him at all. Never mind that he'd been there to comfort him. There was no doubt in his mind she would not bother to return the favor.

Then it came to him. Emma was not the only person in town who had ever spoken to him voluntarily. There was at least one other, and he was far more qualified to offer Mr. Gold guidance with his current problem, Dr. Hopper. Though he wouldn't have dared to ever seek advice and counsel from him back in the Enchanted Forest, he was desperate enough to seek him out now.

So, he gritted his teeth and headed to Dr. Hopper's office. He rapped his knuckles on the door, and shook his head.

 _This was a bad idea_ , he thought as his lip twitched as he turned to leave, hoping he could escape and that Dr. Hopper hadn't heard him knock.

No such luck, however.

"Mr. Gold?" Dr. Hopper asked, opening the door and causing him to stop in his tracks. He doubted the man would let him leave now. "Are you here for the rent?" He called after him.

Gold sighed. "Why does everyone ask that?"

"Well, because you—Never mind. Would…would you like to talk?"

He groaned internally. He was regretting this already; he didn't like the man's tone, it sounded pitying. Of the numerous things that irritated him, pity was very high up on the list. But that didn't mean that nagging sensation in his gut that told him he should. If there were anyone who might help him it would be Dr. Hopper.

"I don't know," he admitted softly. He didn't know if he would _like_ to talk, but he knew he _needed_ to. And that was what had him accepting Dr. Hopper's offer to come in. And it was with Dr. Hopper's advice that Mr. Gold decided to confront the man he believed to be his son. By the time it was over, he wasn't sure which of the men he wanted to kill first.

Well, that was a lie. He wanted to gut August like a fish, watch him writhe in agony as he died. But that wouldn't do. For the time being at least, he could use the man to his advantage. Emma trusted August over himself, so he would be Gold's tool for getting her to believe.

He so desperately needed her to believe. After thinking that his son was there to find him, whether to kill him or not, his determination to have this curse and get his son back only increased and he would be putting all his efforts into helping August get Emma to believe. He needed his son back. It had been so long and believing that he was there had crushed him when he found out it wasn't true.

For a brief period of time he thought that Emma might care for him, but that notion was long gone now and his son was the only person that might still be out there who cared for him. He had lost whatever small chance he might have had with Emma and Belle was long gone. Baelfire was all he had left. He needed to find him.

The moment he had returned to his home, his anger had left him and a deep sorrow overcame him. He barely made it up to his bedroom before he broke down, his body wracking with sobs. The regret he had felt for centuries at letting his son go came back full force, in fact, it came back ten fold. And he just missed making it onto his bed before he collapsed to the ground unable to take another step from the sheer emotional agony he was experiencing.

He fell to the floor with his back hitting the side of his bed, his hands on either side of his body. And he shifted slightly as he continued to cry and one of his hands brushed up against something under the bed. His brow furrowed in confusion as he grabbed at whatever it was, it seeming to be a picture perhaps.

And it was a picture all right, a very particular kind of picture a type he recognized instantly regardless of the fact that the image was more reminiscent of a dark blob than what it really was. But still, he knew what it was and he knew to whom it belonged. There was only one other person who had ever been in his bedroom. Emma.

That's when the pieces all started to fall together. She was pregnant. And she didn't want to tell him. That thought caused another ache in his heart but still; he couldn't blame her, really. Look was a sorry excuse for a father he was.

This explained even her behavior; her mood swings, all of it. She was pregnant with his child. And while it didn't make him feel good that she did not wish to tell him, a small glimmer of hope rose inside him despite his best efforts to shove it away.

What if he could get her to see that he could be a father to their child? What if, by some miracle, he could convince her to give him an actual chance? While certainly not ideal, a pregnancy opened up the door to the possibility of an actual relationship with Emma. And as he turned his eyes brimming with tears, now slightly tears of happiness, down to the sonogram in his hand, he decided he needed to speak with her and see if she would at the very least let him be a part of his child's life.

Emma was sitting up at the kitchen table with the paperwork she needed to do to wrap up Mary Margaret's case. She couldn't really get to sleep, her mind still on her conversation with Gold from the night before at Mary Margaret's party. She really felt like such a bitch for how she was treating him. Whatever he had done, he didn't deserve this from her.

He had been there for her when she needed him, on countless occasions, not just the times she went to his home. It wasn't fair what she was doing to him. And it was eating away at her and she just wanted to tell him that she was sorry; she wanted to tell him she just wasn't good at this sort of thing so she'd pushed him away.

She almost jumped when she heard a light knock on her door and she paled. For some reason, her first thought was that it was Gold out there knocking. Now, whether that was just because she had been thinking about him or because it logically made sense (him being the only person she could think of who would show up at two o'clock in the morning), she would never know.

Still, she stood and made her way to the door, opening to find a very distressed looking Gold before her. She didn't know what to make of his appearance. He simultaneously looked the most heartbroken she had ever seen him and the most hopeful she had ever seen him. It confused her greatly. And it was clear that he had been crying and she really had no idea why that would be.

"Gold what are yo—"

But she didn't get her words out before he had reached out with his hand and touched her face, a look even softer than he had given her the other night in his eyes. His thumb brushed over her cheek and she was rooted to the spot wondering what the hell was going on.

He shuffled closer to her as he cupped her face in his hand before leaning in and kissing her. Despite herself, she immediately responded to his kiss, her eyes fluttering closed and her own hands moving out to grip him by his collar and pull him into a deeper kiss.

And it wasn't until she felt his other hand come to rest at her hip that she came to her senses and put a stop to the kiss. At the very least she needed to know what the hell had brought this on. But at that moment, the way his lips had felt against hers, even the flimsiest of excuses might have been enough for her to not give a damn.

Severing the kiss reluctantly, she blinked up at him. "Wha—"

"I'm sorry," he cut her off again. "For everything. I can't promise you that I'll always make the right choices, and I can't promise you that I won't hurt you again somehow," he added and he couldn't help but think this was the worst apology ever but at least for once he was being honest with her. "I won't lie and say that I'll be a better man, I wish I could but I can't. I just don't want to lie to you. But I can be a father to our child…if you'll let me. Please, Emma. Just give me a chance, that's all I ask."

At his words Emma felt like she was going to be sick. He knew…but he didn't _know_. "Wha—What are you talking about?" She managed to choke out somewhat shakily feeling she was definitely giving it away that she knew what he was talking about. But she was really just glad she'd managed to get the words out without actually getting sick.

"This," he said and he reached into the breast pocket of his suit and fished out the sonogram he had found on his floor and held it in front of her.

Instinctively she clasped one hand over her mouth in shock as the other shakily reached out to take it from him. It was the first time she had seen it since she had lost the baby. Tears sprang to her eyes, just a few actually falling, and when he reached out to brush them away with his thumb, it only caused more to start pouring down her cheeks.

This was not how things were supposed to happen. He wasn't ever supposed to find out that she had been pregnant. She had been determined that he would never know. It was going to crush him to hear the truth but there was nothing she could do about it now, she had to tell him.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to tell me, Emma. I do, truly. But I beg you," he said, his voice nearly a whisper and tears of his own glistened in his brown eyes, "let me prove to you that I can be a good father. Let me prove it to myself," he added, a tear spilling down his own cheek.

"Oh, Gold," she sobbed as quietly as she could, not wishing to wake Mary Margaret. "There is no baby. I wish I could tell you there was, I wish I could give you that chance, I really do, but I can't."

"What do yo—"

"I lost it," she let out in a chocked sort of sob.

This was the first time she'd really talked about it and the first time she'd really let herself feel the grief she'd been fighting since that night. "When I went after Mary Margaret, the guy who kidnapped her, Jefferson, we got in a fight," she went on, her words coming out in short spurts as she fought to stay upright, wanting to get it all out so he would understand why she hadn't already told him.

His heart ran cold. This couldn't be. It wasn't true. It couldn't be. No. He refused to believe it.

"He tackled me and I landed right on my stomach. There was nothing I could do."

If Emma had thought he had looked heartbroken before, it was nothing compared to the way he looked now. His hands were shaking and she saw that he had fallen back against the doorframe of her apartment.

There was no feeling in his limbs as he looked back at Emma in shock. He was barely even aware of where he was or what was going on, seeming to have gone complete outside of himself. His mind was foggy and his breaths grew ragged as his back collided with the doorframe, a look of absolute horror on his face.

"I was planning on telling you I was pregnant, I was, but after I…after…I just couldn't. I couldn't handle seeing you like this, couldn't handle telling you, not after knowing about your son, not after seeing how you are when you talk about him, or any kid for that matter. I couldn't be the one to tell you that you'd lost another kid. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to you to have to hurt the way I did," she admitted, tears falling freely down her cheeks now like a steady stream.

Though he desperately wanted to believe that this was all some sort of sick cruel joke on Emma's part he knew that wasn't the case. For one, she would never do such a thing; she was far too kind hearted. But he could hear the truth of it in her shaky voice; see it in her tear brimmed green eyes. And all that hope he had let build up inside him at the sight of his unborn child left him.

If this had come at a different time, any other time but that particular moment he may not have felt the way he did. But it had, just as everything else that happened in his life seemed to come at the worst possible time. It felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and he had a sudden sick urge to laugh at the irony. The man who'd ripped out and crushed more hearts than he cared to admit was having his own metaphorically ripped out and for the first time in forever he felt sorry for those people whose heart he had ripped out.

If this was anything compared to what it felt like to actually have one's heart ripped from their chest, he wasn't sure he would ever be able to do that to someone again. He had never felt an agony like this one before. Not even when he had let go of Bae and he'd fallen through that portal. At least then he could be comforted by the fact that Bae was alive and that there was at least a glimmer of hope that he would someday see him again.

In this instance, that was not the case. There would be no seeing this child, not even for the first time. He would never be able to hold his baby in his arms and look into her big brown eyes. (He had already begun to imagine it had been a girl and what she might have looked like and had hoped she would take after Emma mostly, but he had always imagined any child of his with his brown eyes); never be able to comb his fingers through her soft hair or kiss her forehead; never be able to watch her grow up and see what sort of woman she might become.

Would she have grown up a perfect mix between him and Emma? Would she have had all the stubbornness they both possessed, the same determination, yet Emma's more gentle nature? Not that he couldn't be gentle of course, but it certainly wasn't his default. Would she have been cunning like him and headstrong like her mother?

He imagined she would have been. He also imagined he would have spoiled her. Now he would never get the chance to do so. He would never get the chance to do anything with her and never get a chance to show Emma what sort of man he truly was, maybe not the best man by any means but one she could have a modicum of pride for.

And those touching scenes he had conjured in his mind almost immediately upon seeing the sonogram played darkly through his mind again. Where at first they had been of a possible future, one where he might have a chance for happiness, the images in his mind were now tinged with darkness, knowing none of them would ever be a possibility.

He should have known; he was not meant for happiness. There was more than one reason he had been afforded comfort by the curse in this new land. While it was true it had been part of his deal with the Evil Queen before it had been cast, that was not the only reason.

The curse had been created to take away the happy endings of the people in town, and on the surface that should have meant anyone, but it didn't. The villains in the story weren't included in that. The curse was for the villains. They couldn't ever have their happy endings because of who they were and what they had done, so all there had been for them to do was cast this curse and take the happy endings from everyone else.

It had been naïve of him to think that so long as he didn't cast the curse himself that it would mean once it broke he was entitled to his own happy ending as well. How foolish of him to think such a thing. He was a villain; he didn't _get_ a happy ending. Happiness would never be a part of his future.

The realization of it all cut him deep. All the time in effort he had put into getting to this land was all for naught, he realized that now. No matter what, he would never get his happy ending. He didn't deserve it. The thought crippled him and the next thing he knew, he was falling to the floor as his body shook with sobs. He sobbed for Bae, he sobbed for Emma, and he sobbed for his inevitably unhappy future but most of all he sobbed for his unborn child.

And then Emma watched as Gold, ever stoic Mr. Gold, scariest man in Storybrooke slide down the wall in agony as he cried, tears flowing just as freely from his eyes as they were from hers, cane clattering to the ground at his side. She wasn't sure she had ever seen a more heartbreaking scene. The last time she could ever remember feeling this sad, this tearful was when she had given up Henry. While she hadn't wanted to give up this baby, she couldn't help but connect the two moments in her head, the two moments she really came to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to have a kid.

"No, no," he whispered, shaking his head, still desperately trying to deny what it was that she was telling him. And she knelt down before him, placing her hands on his knees. "Please, no. NO!" He cried out and Emma no longer cared whether it woke Mary Margaret or not.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed herself as she crawled over to his side. Just as she got situated beside him, he slumped against he as he continued to cry. And Mary Margaret had woken up too and had come out of her room and was looking down at them in confusion and horror, never having believed she'd see the day that Mr. Gold was on her floor sobbing into Emma's shoulder.

Emma just looked sadly back at Mary Margaret as she wrapped an arm around him and held him to her and shook her head at Mary Margaret who took that as both confirmation of her suspicions about what was going on and as a message that she should leave and she hastily retreated back to her room.

"I am so, so sorry," she whispered through her own tears and she ran a shaky hand through his hair as he continued to cry.

And she sat there crying along with him, holding him to her as he clung to her. Neither one of them cared much about anything else that had happened between them before that evening; both were just content to mutually share their grief. And they didn't much care what happened afterwards either. At that moment, they both just needed each other and for once they didn't fight it.

It felt strange to her though if she were being honest. She couldn't ever remember a time when she had ever comforted someone the way she was now, nor could she have remembered a time prior to the other night at Gold's house that she had let someone else comfort her. But what was really strange about it was that it didn't feel as odd as it should have. It almost felt natural to her with him. She wasn't sure what to make of it and she was certain she didn't ever want to make sense of it.

Just like the other night at Gold's home, the two of them ended up in bed, this time Emma's. She had helped him out of his suit once they had gotten to her bedroom and she had changed into some pajamas, not even realizing that she had put on the shirt of his that she had stolen that morning. If Gold noticed, he said nothing, though she did think his eyes had lingered on it for longer than was necessary.

When he lied down on her bed, he faced away from her but he didn't seem to mind when she scooted up behind him and placed her hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly. She then ran her hand down his arm until it fell into his hand and he gripped in firmly in his own. She sighed with a relief she didn't expect to feel at the gesture and she felt him rub his thumb across her skin.

"I would have been a good father," he said in barely even a whisper. Had it not been completely silent, her almost holding her breath waiting to see if he would speak, she might not have heard him. "I would have done right by you," he added and she heard as well as felt him sigh. "I won't say I would've taken care of you because you don't strike me as the kind of woman who wants or needs to be taken care of, but I would have helped you in any capacity that you would have wanted."

A dryness filled her throat at his words. She had expected as much when she'd been thinking about telling him, but she had still been too scared to go through with it before it was too late. She shouldn't have waited. She knew that now.

"I know you would've," she admitted back in a whisper and he squeezed her hand tighter and she felt him relax against her before she drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhh 1) sorry for such a long wait for an update :/ but I wasn't sure if I was going to actually keep it going or not so- and 2) I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter but here it is. Hope it's not too bad. Read, review and enjoy! XD

Despite having Emma beside him providing a modicum of comfort to him, his sleep was hardly restful. He was plagued by nightmares and he could only imagine how much worse they might have been had she not been there. The whole night through he dreamt of various scenarios in which he lost his daughter that was to never be. Some were purely accident, others—others were his fault and those ones hurt the worst.

And while waking provided little comfort as his mind could just as easily imagine those scenarios during his waking moments, it did provide some temporary relief. As usual, he woke early, the sun not yet shining through the curtains in Emma's bedroom. He shifted, moving to get out of the bed and not wake her, he could still feel her arm draped around his middle, which he carefully moved.

Same as she had those many nights ago, he slipped silently out of bed and got dressed in the dark. He couldn't stay, couldn't be there when she woke, it would send the wrong message. She would think that there could now be something between them, but that couldn't be so. It all came back to the fact that he could feel the curse was about to end and she would learn the truth.

He wished it didn't have to be so because to be perfectly honest, he needed her given what happened. Losing a child after everything he had done and was doing to find the one he'd already lost was something he wasn't sure he could handle on his own. It broke him. But it would only break him more to start something with her now when it would surely end immediately afterwards.

 _Coward_ , he thought bitterly. And it was true. He was afraid, because he had grown to care quite a bit about Ms. Swan. Regardless of how much they had tried to avoid each other after that night they shared he hadn't been able to shake his feelings for her. She understood him and he her and that was something he hadn't thought about anyone in quite some time. Belle may have loved him…or could have, but she didn't understand him the way Emma did.

But he had to go. It was best for both of them. That's just what he had to keep telling himself. He had to repeat that over and over to himself until it sunk in. The way their "relationship" had begun, the circumstances surrounding it were no way to start a relationship and it would never work out. It wouldn't.

So he left. He took one last look at Emma's sleeping form before he made his way quietly out of her apartment. And he would be forever grateful that Mary Margaret hadn't gotten up for school just yet. All he wanted to do was get out and go to his shop like it was any other day.

Emma wasn't sure what she had expected to find when she woke up, but she was disappointed all the same to find the other side of her bed empty. She supposed it would've been silly of her to think he would have stayed, especially since she hadn't that first night. And if she hadn't felt emotionally drained the last time, felt so warm, comfortable and— _safe_ with him the other time that she slept in a bit later, she probably wouldn't have stayed then either.

But she wouldn't allow herself to dwell on it too long. There were more important things than whatever the hell was or was not between her and Gold. She had lost one kid already and she wasn't going to do it again. She was going to get Henry back if it was the last damn thing she did. And it would be just one more way for her to keep her mind as far from Gold as possible.

Just over a half hour after waking she headed downstairs to find Mary Margaret having some coffee. Emma had known she would've been awake, of course, but that didn't really mean she wanted to talk to her about anything. And with the look she was giving her, she was pretty sure Mary Margaret had _every_ intention of talking. Plus there was the fact that she kept flickering her eyes back to the staircase as though she were waiting for him to come down after Emma.

"He's not here."

"I—What? Oh-Oh…I—Are you all right?"

_That question? Really?_

"I mean, I know you're _not_ but…will you be?"

"I'll be fine. I _am_ fine," Emma answered, trying to sound like she actually was fine.

"No you're not. I can tell. You're not okay, Emma."

"No, really, I'm fine. It's not a big deal. I—I've been left plenty of times before." She shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"Emma—"

"No, honestly. It's not like I expected anything different. It's not like we were actually together so," Emma replied, trailing off as she went about fixing herself a cup of coffee.

"But you wanted to be—?"

"I don't know, okay!?" She huffed in frustration and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know what I wanted. But it doesn't matter one way or the other. He left and that's that. Obviously whatever—the hell _it_ was isn't anymore. I'm done. I'm just…done. If he wanted us to be a thing he wouldn't be making it this difficult."

"Maybe he's scared," Mary Margaret offered.

Emma shot her a skeptical look. "Right. I'm sure that's it."

"Hey now, maybe it is. He could be scared. I know you think you know a whole lot about him, but I've known him as long as I can remember and I've never, _ever_ seen him with anyone. He's never dated anyone, he barely talks to anyone in town and as far as I've heard or seen, aside from picking up rent, he's never gone to someone's home to talk to them."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you're different and maybe he's scared because of it. Same as you are."

"I'm not—"

"— _Yes_ you are. I said the same thing with Graham. You have that wall up to keep out pain and loss, because you're scared of getting hurt again. But, and I say again, it can also keep out love."

" _He's_ the one who snuck out this morning, not me."

"Yeah, _and_ maybe he did it because he's scared just like you are. Maybe he's just as afraid of getting hurt as you are."

Emma didn't say anything in return. She didn't really know what to say to be honest. Mainly she had no response because she thought Mary Margaret could very well be right. After all, she and Gold _were_ alike. It actually made a lot of sense and she felt kind of stupid for not thinking that herself. But she supposed it _was_ possible that her feelings were clouding her judgment just a bit.

"I—Well, I didn't really think about it like that…"

"Then maybe you should. And maybe you should _talk_ to him."

Emma sighed and rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee. "I don't know," she huffed. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am," Mary Margaret replied, feeling quite proud of herself. She was a true romantic if she was actually encouraging Emma to give a relationship with Mr. Gold, of all people, a shot. "Oh, and I called August a little bit ago, he's probably on his way now. He's going to fix our door so Regina can't get in here with her skeleton keys anymore."

So she decided she was going to take Mary Margaret's advice and go talk to Gold. That had been her plan initially, actually, to have him help her get Henry away from Regina. But then after she woke up and he wasn't there she started to think it was probably for the best that she didn't. But her talk with Mary Margaret made her think it might actually be a good idea. Plus she was pretty sure if there was anyone who could help her beat Regina _again_ , it would be him. Just after she went and saw what Henry's Operation Cobra Emergency was.

While Emma was off seeing what Henry wanted, August made his way to Gold's shop just as he had been asked to, so they could work out how he was going to get Emma to believe. And because Gold was still irate with August and wanting to pay him back for the pain he had caused him, he had his father there in the shop with him so that he too could feel what it was like to feel so close to reuniting with a loved one but not close enough. He hadn't been disappointed by the reaction either.

"First time seeing dear old dad since you arrived at Storybrooke?" He asked, knowing full well that it was if his reaction was anything to go by.

"I'm sor—wha—?"

He just smirked in response to the other man's fumbled words and hurt expression. The only thing he wished was that it could be anywhere near as painful as what he had felt after being tricked into believing he was Baelfire.

"You know, what surprises me is why a man who claims to be at death's door can't even bring himself to say hello to his father. What _are_ you afraid of?"

Oh, yes, he was enjoying this. For the moment, it was keeping his mind off of… _other_ things; things he most certainly didn't want to think about. As it was he knew he'd have to talk about Emma soon as it was and that would hurt plenty enough on it's own.

"That's, uh…That's my business."

"Oh," he said, already pleased enough by his reaction. "Fair enough. Let's talk about ours. You _claim_ to be the only person who can make Ms. Swan believe," he went on, only getting angry at that thought.

It was jealousy, _again_ even though he had made a decision when he left that morning that there was never going to be anything between he and her, that he wouldn't put himself through that as well—her leaving when she found out who he was. But he tried to suppress those feelings and get on to the task at hand.

"—That you could get her to do exactly what she was brought here to do, and yet, for a man who's running out of time, you don't seem to be in much of a hurry."

"It's not me who's slowing us down, it's her. All she can think about right now is getting custody of her kid."

At the sound of the word 'kid', Gold tensed up just slightly. Of course she was only focused on getting custody of her kid right now. And of course, only he knew exactly why she was so insistent upon that. She'd lost Henry once before, and just lot another child; she couldn't possibly handle one more loss right now.

"Sounds like Sheriff. Swan needs a course correction."

He bristled at his own words. But as much as he still couldn't help his feelings for Emma, he had made his decision that morning that he was through with that. She was…a distraction, for lack of a better, less callous term and he had come here for a reason. He was getting his _own_ son back. He'd put Baelfire second before and he wasn't going to do it again. It was cruel perhaps, but he needed to right that wrong before he could think about righting others.

"She's coming to you for legal advice," August informed him.

"And you want _me_ to steer her towards _you?_ "

And again, despite everything he kept repeating to himself in his head, that there was nothing between himself and Emma, that there never would be, that jealousy stirred inside him again. Not to mention he was quite certain there were no romantic intentions on August's part nor Emma's, though he wasn't entirely sure about that last bit, he was merely hoping.

He was ridiculous. Either he wanted her or he didn't. The problem was, he _did_ want her, he just knew he could never have her, knew she would never want him. And that's why it hurt so much. August was a much safer option than he was and if Emma had fallen for him by spending the short amount of time with him that she did, who was to say she wouldn't fall for August instead? Especially if he were the one to make her believe.

"I can get her there, to believing. Trust me."

He laughed. Trust was _not_ something he was open do doing very often. And that was just as true now as it ever was, especially given just who he was talking to. The offended look August cast him, only made him laugh more.

"Ah. I'm sorry. It's just that knowing who you are and your nature, trust is a big ask."

But he didn't really have much of a choice. Emma wouldn't believe _him_ if he tried, so he would have to have faith that August could do as he said he could. "Fear not," he continued, moving toward the entrance to his back room as he spoke, "a gentle nude I shall provide."

It wasn't long after August left that he heard the bell above his shop door chime and he made his way to the front, knowing just who would be there to visit him. What he didn't expect was just how much it would hurt seeing her again after the decision, however silent it had been, he had made that very morning. And he was actually a bit surprised that she had still decided to come to him at all.

It seemed she was more resilient than he had first assumed, and he had assumed she was quite resilient to begin with. Or perhaps he had been a bit too presumptuous to assume that his leaving would have had any effect on her at all. That thought, too, stung more than he would have thought.

Could she possibly be that truly indifferent to him after everything that had happened? He was sure she wasn't, but perhaps she was. But it shouldn't matter either way. He couldn't be with her, it shouldn't matter if she was indifferent. And yet, it did.

When he stepped out into the main room, she was only a few steps into the shop and he made his way behind the counter on the far side of the room. He spared her the slightest of glances. It wasn't that he was trying to appear rude or standoffish, he just wasn't sure what sort of look she might be sporting and he thought that no matter what look it might be, it wouldn't be something he would like to see.

"Hey—" She said stepping towards the counter as he came to a stop behind it.

"Sheriff Swan…" He still didn't quite look up at her.

Of course, of _course,_ he was just going to pretend like nothing had happened. And there she was, being a hypocrite again. Had she not done the _exact_ same thing after sleeping with him? And besides, it wasn't as though she hadn't expected this…but still, she couldn't truthfully say that it didn't— _hurt_.

It was just that they had been through so much together and while it certainly wouldn't seem like that to anyone else, that didn't make it untrue. Sure there hadn't been a large quantity of things that had gone on between them, but sometimes just a few big moments, trying moments, added up to a hell of a lot more than dozens and dozens of small things. Was he really able to just suppress everything so easily?

She didn't really think that he could. She more suspected that he was hiding his pain, it was something she would do— _was_ doing, really, so it made just as much sense that he would. But how far was he going to take it, if she brought up last night would he shut it down and continue this act? What would she do if he did? She'd come there to talk about that in addition to asking for help with Henry. And now she was starting to second guess herself and think better of taking Mary Margaret's advice.

"I need to talk to you."

"Oh? Whatever about?"

And finally, he looked at her. Her look didn't give much away and he wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. He knew she wanted to talk about Henry, but part of him wondered whether there was more she wished to talk about. And given what he was about to do, he sincerely hoped all she would mention was Henry.

If she was about to bring up last night, talk about their relationship, whatever it was, not only would it continue to feed the seed of doubt in his mind about the decision he had made that morning, but it would make what he was about to do hurt even worse.

He knew it was the right decision, but his feelings for her hadn't gone anyway but he was a weak man and if she insisted that they try to be together, he would want to say yes. But saying yes one moment and telling her the next that he had no interest in helping her gain custody of her child hardly seemed like an ideal way to being a relationship.

"About u—" she sighed. "About Henry." Yeah, she was chickening out, she was keeping that wall right where it was.

" _Oh._ What about Henry?" He was actually relieved, though still apprehensive about how she would take his refusal to help. Though perhaps it would cement it in _her_ mind that they should never be together, and then when she learned the truth it might not hurt quite so bad to realize what sort of man (if he could call himself that) he really was.

"I have to save him. I have to get Henry away from Regina." She spoke with such desperation and she was just glad she didn't have to _actually_ explain why she was so desperate. He knew already, whether he wanted to acknowledge that ever again or not, he did know.

He looked down and away from her again, busying himself with the first thing he could reach on the counter. "I must admit, your intentions are admirable." It was a really good thing he wasn't looking at her, that hopeful look she got as his words might just have broken his resolve. "However," he went on, "I won't be taking your case."

"What?!" She asked, not believing the her own ears. And as he walked down towards the other end of the counter, she followed on her end, thinking he was maybe trying to get away from her and like hell she was going to let that happen.

How could he be doing this? She wasn't sure whether she wanted to cry or hit him. Was he really going to cut her off so much that he wouldn't even help her get Henry back? He _knew_ how much this would hurt her. Why was he doing this to her?

_Stay clam, Emma. Just calm down. You knew this was bound to happen; you knew what kind of guy he was. So you were right about him, big deal. Just move past it and now you can really start to forget anything to do with him._

If only it were that easy for her to do. But it had gone too far between them already. She had feelings for him, she connected to him, she understood him a bit and for the first time in a really long time, _she_ felt understood. And it was killing her that he didn't seem to give a shit anymore about what they'd just been through, that he wasn't going to help her. But she had to stay as calm as she could, she couldn't let him see how much his words hurt her.

"You know what Regina did!"

"Yes, but we can't prove it—" The 'we' had been unintentional, a slip of the tongue that he regretted immediately. Perhaps that just goes to show how much he wished he didn't have to tell her 'no'. But he brushed past it, trying to not draw any undo attention to his word choice. "And given the mayor's sway in this town, any proceedings against her would be long and drawn out and futile. The only certainty is Henry would suffer."

Well that much was true, at least. In fact, it was all true, he wasn't saying it _just_ because he couldn't help her, that was just his driving force, to get her to go to August so he could get her to believe. And as the words fell from his lips he hoped that perhaps she wouldn't be quite so cross with him after it was all said and done if she realized he was actually, in some small way, trying to protect Henry was well.

"You can't do that to your boy."

His words came out more harshly than he had intended but he was so conflicted about everything. Part of him still wanted to help her even if he did truly believe that it wasn't what was best for Henry, at least not at the moment. And the other part of him wanted to stick to the plan, get her to believe and break the curse so he could fix things with his own son. This was the first time in so long he had considered someone else's feelings along side his own and he wasn't handling it well.

"So we leave him in the same house with that sociopath?"

 _We?_ WE?! _Where the hell did that come from?_

 _Well he said it._ (Yes, she'd noticed it.) _And he didn't mean anything by it, right? And neither do I…right? No, definitely not. No._

"I'm sorry Sheriff, my mind's made up." The continued use of the word we was not helping any of this. Regardless of it's intended meaning, he couldn't help but think that he liked the way it sounded…them, together, one unit, a team of some sort. Yeah, that train of thought wasn't helping either.

"Well, then change it."

Now she was even more irritated, mainly because she couldn't get it out of her mind that he might be right about Henry suffering because of this. It wasn't as if she herself had ever had people fighting _over_ her, mainly they were fighting to get rid of her and pass her onto someone else. But she was no stranger to listening to fights over one thing or another with some of the foster parents she lived with. And while loath she was to ever call her and Regina Henry's 'parents' that's sort of what they were and parents fighting hardly ever turned out well for the kid.

But she was determined to not admit that, not now, not to him. She still couldn't believe he was acting the way he was after everything she'd been threw, after all that he knew. It was one thing to not agree to help her, but did he have to go about it like this? Did he have to treat her like she was just any other person in town? Because no, she wasn't just some person, she had almost had his kid for Christ's sake, didn't that count for something?

"The only person I've seen go head-to-head with Regina and win is you."

"That's because I know how to pick my battles."

_Ouch._

He didn't think she even had a chance at winning, he had that little faith in her. Could she blame him? Not really if she cared to give it any real thought, but she was going to blame him anyway. It wasn't as if she had ever managed to get anything done without his help.

"Then pick this one."

Her tone was more pleading than she wanted it to be, but her emotions were starting to get to her. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to break down, but she could feel it coming. It was all too much; she'd shut out feelings for so long that she couldn't handle having them like this again. This was why she had avoided any relationships of any kind for so long. The way he continued to turn her down broke her heart. Henry was all that she had.

Briefly, she had thought that there may have, one day, been something between her and Gold, that just maybe he could part of her screwed up life, that he could be someone who was there for her when she needed it. Hell, while he'd been a bit –unorthodox about it, she couldn't really say that he hadn't _been_ there for her when she asked him to be. And that was before he had even known about the miscarriage.

" _Please_ ," she began again, eyes beginning to water. "He's all I have left. I need him. I need _you_. You're the only one who can help me. Please don't do this." A few tears fell down her cheeks as she shook her head, lips trembling with emotion. "Please…"

No, this wasn't fair. How had he not foreseen that things might go this route, that she might break down like this on him? It tore at his heartstrings, but he had to do this. He had to get his son back, she had to believe, and though he didn't want to admit it, he knew he couldn't be the one to do it. She wouldn't believe it from him, she'd think he was lying just to drive her away.

But driving her away was the last thing he wanted to do, despite knowing it was what was best. All he wanted to do was brush away her tears, pull her close and hold her like she had held him not even twenty-four hours ago. Why did it all have to be so damn complicated?

_I never should have slept with her. I should have done the respectable thing and turned her away. It would have saved us both all this heartache._

"I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he had to do, what he had to say. "I'm afraid I'm just simply not the man to help you beat Mayor Mills."

And now she finally had the answer to the question that had been rattling around in her brain for weeks. He didn't give a shit about her, not really. Whatever had happened last night had been a fluke because he was emotional and it wasn't because he was scared that he left but because he'd woken up with more clarity and just left because why not? She meant nothing to him. And wow did it hurt.

This wasn't the time to be hurt though, she could do that later. Right now she just needed to find another way. She refused to accept defeat no matter how much his words had hurt. If anything she was even more determined to get Henry out of Regina's clutches and prove to Gold that she didn't need him after all, that she could do this on her own.

She took her own deep breath, steeling herself, blinking back a few more unshed tears. The look in her eyes is fierce and determined as she stood back up straight, glaring daggers at him.

"No, you're not."

And that was that. From that moment on she vowed that if she meant nothing to him, he meant even less than that to her. She'd been hurt by enough people in her life, people better than the likes of him and she didn't have to stand for it. She was going to do her level best to not let this bother her. And before she could say or do anything else that she might regret, she stormed back out of his shop.

Yes, a part of him ached seeing that look in her eyes—not the determination to get her son back, that look was understandable—no, the look of hatred that was there as well, the look of betrayal. And it was a big part of him too, but it needed to be done. He could only vainly hope that when it was over, when the curse was broken that she would understand why he had to do what he'd done. If anyone could understand his motivations, it was Emma.


	16. Chapter 16

Emma had actually thought that going to August for help would be a good idea. If anything he wouldn't make her feel like shit even if he said he couldn't help her. But she was wrong. All he did was make her feel even more like shit. She couldn't even go about winning custody of her own kid back much less could she save a whole town…not like she believed that any of what August said was true.

But even if it was, August was wrong, Henry and his book were _wrong_. She wasn't the _savior_ , she wasn't anything, she never had been. She was never somebody important, never someone anybody ever needed. Her parents, whoever the hell they were left her on the side of the road as an infant. Neal, the one man she had actually let into her life had left her to sit in jail. Gold has pushed her away and shown her just how little she meant to him. She was nobody and she sure as hell wasn't a savior.

Not only was she _not_ the savior, she didn't want to be. People relying on her had never been something she wanted. It was best not to have ties to anyone in any way at all. Except for Henry, that was the only person she cared to have any sort of relationship with. She couldn't be the savior he wanted her to be but she could be the mother he had always deserved, the mother she could really be if she just gave it a shot.

Which was what led her to picking him up from Regina's house and taking him away from Storybrooke. She really should have guessed that he would have been against the idea, especially since he thought she needed to be there to save the whole town too. But he, just like August, was wrong. What she needed to do was take him and get as far away from Storybrooke as she could. The only good thing to come from Storybrooke was Henry and so long as she had him with her she could care less about that town and everyone else in it.

She did feel a little bit guilty about leaving without telling Mary Margaret goodbye but to be perfectly honest she knew Mary Margaret would try to talk her out of it, out of leaving. She'd spout some cheery words of encouragement, give her an uplifting speech and she didn't want to hear it. The last time she let Mary Margaret's optimism infect her, it had led her to Gold and just look how that turned out. Yeah, no good. She could feel bad about it later, but at the moment she just wanted to get the hell out of dodge.

"We're leaving now?!"

"Uh huh. I'm getting you away from here, away from all this, away from _her._ "

"No. No. Stop the car," Henry protested. "You can't leave Storybrooke. You have to break the curse!"

"No I don't. I have to help _you._ _"_

"But you're a hero , you can't run. You have to help everybody."

"Henry, I know it's hard for you to see it, but I'm doing what's best for _you._ "

_Are you sure about that? Or are you just trying to run away from everything._

_Why can_ _'_ _t both be true?_

"That's what you wanted when you brought me to Storybrooke," she continued, tossing a quick glance his way as she drove.

"But the curse! You're the only chance to bring back the Happy Endings."

"Henry—" she said, her voice pleading for him to understand that she couldn't do that because the curse wasn't real. She didn't want to say it to him but he had to understand and she hoped her tone might convey that.

But when he grabbed the wheel as they approached the town line, she realized he had no intention of ever believing that he wasn't right about the supposed curse. Truthfully, she couldn't blame him for inventing the theory, she knew what it was like to want to retreat away from the real world. The real world sucked. But he had to understand that this theory of his was insane. She _wasn_ _'_ _t_ a savior.

"Henry! What are you doing?! You could've gotten us killed!"

"Please! Please don't make me go! We can't go! Everything's here, me, your parents, your family. Please, Emma, they need you. Your family needs you."

It broke her heart to look into his eyes and see how much he believed what he was saying was true. But he didn't understand what Storybrooke was to her now. It was just a big mistake, all of it. It was just painful memories that she'd rather just forget. The only thing that she didn't regret about coming to Storybrooke at all was him.

Of course, it wasn't as though she could tell him any of that. She had had a hard enough time telling Mary Margaret anything about what happened between her and Gold, she sure as hell wasn't going to tell Henry. He wouldn't understand, and she really didn't want to hear what he might have to say about who Gold might be from his book. Again, it wasn't like she believed his theory but she doubted she'd want to know who he thought Gold was. Clearly, he wasn't a good guy in that 'fairy tale'.

But as she looked back into his desperate, pleading eyes, she knew realized this wasn't the way to go about any of this. She couldn't just take him. That would really only lead to more trouble. She'd been in jail once, and that had been enough. He needed a stable, normal life, and taking him away in the dead of night wasn't going to do the trick.

She'd never been more reluctant to do anything than take Henry back to Regina's house, but Henry's pleas had at least given her enough sense to know that kidnapping him wouldn't solve anything. When she was done, all she wanted to do was go back to her bed and hide in her covers from everything…but she couldn't; she couldn't face Mary Margaret yet. Instead she went to the police station, intent on doing _something_ there to keep her busy.

Come morning though, she knew she had to go back. And she knew Mary Margaret would be there, waiting for her. She was dreading it. The worst part was, whatever Mary Margaret had to say Emma knew she'd be right. It was just the whole having someone else chastise her for her mistake that she didn't want to deal with. She felt bad enough as it was.

"I thought you left," Mary Margaret said in greeting, her tone short and clipped. Emma hadn't expected anything less.

"Mary Margaret—" Emma began, the apology she'd thought up and practiced the previous evening at the station ready to be recited before Mary Margaret cut her off, her tone even more biting than the first time.

"But I couldn't tell for sure because you didn't bother to say goodbye." There was a long pause before she spoke again, as though she were waiting for Emma to respond. But Emma didn't know what to say. Plus, she suspected there was more and she felt Mary Margaret deserved to have her say.

"Do you remember when I left? When I ran, what you said to me? You said, we have to stick together, that we're like.. _.family_."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left."

"You're right. You shouldn't have! So why, after everything, did you just _go?!_ "

This was the angriest Emma had ever seen Mary Margaret. It was honestly a nice change of pace. Not to mention she felt the other woman's anger was well deserved.

"I don't wanna be sheriff. I don't want people relying on me. I don't want this, any of it."

"What about Henry?"

"I took him with me."

Mary Margaret furrowed her brows in confusion, folding her arms across her chest as she looked at Emma as though she were an entirely different person than the friend she had come to care so much about.

"You abducted him?"

"Maybe."

Emma's tone remained monotone and unemotional. Over the past twenty-four hours she'd done enough crying and shouting that she wasn't sure she could do it anymore. Emotions weren't something she was used to acting upon. It had always been in her best interest to bury them deep down where no one could touch them. Despite the fact that she knew she could trust Mary Margaret not to hurt her, everything she'd been through recently only strengthened her resolve to bury her emotions.

"So you don't want people to rely on you, but you took your son?"

At her friend's words, Emma at least had the good conscience to look ashamed for a moment, looking down and away from the other woman's eyes.

"Now that sounds like a stable home for him," Mary Margaret continued. "What the hell is wrong with you," she added, shaking her head in disgust. She never imagined that Emma would do something so stupid and so selfish.

"I want what's best for him," Emma tried to explain, though even she knew her words were a lie.

"And running is what's best for him? Or is that what's best for you?"

This was what Emma had been expecting, Mary Margaret to say exactly what Emma hadn't wanted to really admit to herself the night before, that she was using Henry to escape from her own problems, her own regrets.

"I know what you've gone through isn't easy, Emma, but you can't just run away from it."

"Why not?"

_It_ _'_ _s what I_ _'_ _ve always done. It_ _'_ _s what I_ _'_ _m good at._

"Because that's not what heroes do. You told me once that you wanted to be the hero Henry saw in you, and I gotta say, Emma, this, how you're acting now, isn't going to show him that."

"He doesn't understand; he's just a kid."

"That may be, but he's a hell of a lot more sensible that you are right now. He _believes_ in you, Emma. What's best for him is for you to show him he's not wrong."

Tears prickled at the backs of Emma's eyes, knowing Mary Margaret was right. But it was all so hard. Being in Storybrooke killed her, everyday.

"But he's wrong. I'm not a hero, Mary Margaret. I can't _do this anymore_ ," she said, emotion slipping back into her voice. "I can't—I just—I can't. Every day—It just, it kills me. I can't go a minute without thinking about Gold, the baby, everything. And I can't even be strong for myself, how the hell am I supposed to do that for him?!" She shouted, her fears finally spilling out as tears fell from her bright green eyes.

"Emma," Mary Margaret said with a heavy sigh, walking over to her and pulling her into a hug. She was quite surprised when Emma didn't resist.

"You don't have to be Superwoman, but you also can't just run away. Stop trying to shoulder everything on your own, it's not good for you. It'll only make it harder."

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to do?"

"Let _me_ help you, _talk_ to me, stop bottling everything up. I know you think everyone is going to hurt you because that's all you've known, but I wouldn't do that to you…we're like family."

Emma sighed into her friends shoulder before she straightened back up to look her in the eyes. She took a deep, steadying her breath, her shoulders rising high and falling heavily.

"So then what am I supposed to do?"

"You do what's right for Henry."

"And what's that?"

Mary Margaret shrugged. "I don't know. _You_ _'_ _re_ his mother, figure it out."

Emma thought perhaps that was a little harsh and at the moment much preferred the comforting Mary Margaret but she supposed she need to hear that. It really was time that she stopped letting everything that happened to her get the better of her. So Gold didn't care about her, he wasn't the first and he wouldn't be the last. All she could do was try to put that all behind her and focus on doing what was best for Henry…once she figured out what that was exactly.

Unfortunately, the only conclusion she could come to was that it was best that she still leave Storybrooke, _alone_. After talking to Archie, she realized that as long as she stayed in Storybrooke, Regina would always see her as a threat and that would only end up hurting Henry more in the long run. She didn't have to like it but it was what needed to be done. It was still best for Henry, and she still got to get escape her problems without losing Henry completely.

Which was what had led her to going to have a chat with Regina. She didn't pay much attention to how congenial Regina had been. All that had mattered to her was Regina agreed to her conditions and she could still be some part of Henry's life, no matter how small a part it was. So long as she could see him at all, that was good enough for her. Or at least it was going to have to be.

As long as she could be sure that Regina wouldn't _hurt_ Henry, she supposed she could live with the fact that _Regina_ would be his mother. It wasn't going to be easy, giving up Henry like she was after just having lost her baby, but when it came right down to it, she still didn't think she was ready to be a mom, and there was no arguing that Regina had more practice. So she'd taken the offered apple turnover with a deal made that they would _both_ be a part of Henry's life.

After his chat with Regina that morning, Gold would admit he was a bit concerned about what she might have in mind for Emma. He knew it wasn't his place to be concerned, that he had no right to play the part of someone who worried and cared for her after what he'd done the other day. The only problem, of course, was that he _wasn_ _'_ _t_ playing. He _was_ worried and he _did_ care about her. But that didn't change what he needed to do to get his son back.

And when she entered his shop once more, a wickedly satisfied grin on her features, his stomach plummeted. Her words of greeting only made that feeling worse.

"I hope you brought travel insurance, because no one's going anywhere."

"Oh, really?" He tried as best he could to remain calm, but the sense of dread within him grew with every step that she took closer to him, her grin widening all the while. "And why's that?"

"Because I found a solution to my Emma Swan problem," Regina said, placing her hands on the counter in front of her, glee slipping into her tone at her victory.

"Oh, yes?" He returned, feigning disinterest while silently trying to decide whether or not he ought to go after Emma the second this conversation was finished. He ignored the nagging thought in the back of his mind telling him he was much too cowardly to do the right thing now, after everything he'd done to her already.

"And _old reliable_ solution."

Well, he could feign disinterest no longer. If she meant what he thought she meant, then it was worse than he thought. Not only would Emma essentially be dead, but also the curse would never be broken. Finally, he put his pen down and raised his head to look at her. His movements were choppy and nervous, and he hoped she couldn't see the worry in his eyes.

"A sleeping curse."

Regina smiled smugly back at him, feeling as though she were on top of the world. Not only was she getting rid of Emma Swan, she was stopping _him_ from whatever his plans were. No, _she_ was getting her happy ending. Everyone else be damned.

"Might I ask how you managed to obtain one here in Storybrooke?"

"By sacrificing the last bit of magic I had left."

"So you made magic _from_ magic." Had the circumstances been a bit different he would've colored himself impressed. At the moment though, he was lamenting that he may have taught her _too_ well. "Well, I'm sure I don't have to remind you that, uh, all magic comes with a price." This was as much a warning as it was him grasping at straws that she may try to undo whatever it was she had done.

"Then you can pay it."

And he suspected that he would. It always seemed things fell back on him. He couldn't argue he didn't deserve it though.

"Because now, the curse is going to be stronger than ever," she continued, the smugness still heavy in her voice, "And you will be right here where you belong."

He said nothing in response, simply walked away from her to move behind the counter on the side of his shop. His mind was still whirling, trying to think of his best course of action. The obvious answer was to warn Emma or stop her somehow before it was too late. He couldn't risk the curse being any stronger, he need to find his son, but he also didn't want any harm to come to Emma. He'd done enough harm to her as it was.

"Don't you understand?!" Regina shouted at him as he walked away, clearly affronted at his calm demeanor. Apparently that wasn't the response she had assumed her words would garner. "I won."

Again, he said nothing, just leveled a hard glare at her. He was not happy, not happy at all and for a myriad of reasons. She didn't know, of course, why he was so desperate to have the curse broken, no one did, but that didn't stop him from hating her in that moment from putting a wrinkle in his plans.

"So whatever plan you had…whatever reason you wanted the curse broken—Too bad. Because it's never going to happen."

His brows were pinched together, his lips in a tight line as his nostrils flared in anger. All he wanted was his son back, something Regina could surely sympathize with, but he had no interest in having a heart to heart with Regina. She was far too spiteful for her own good and he was to blame. He'd wanted to create his monster, and he'd done swimmingly.

And with that _damned_ smug grin still on her face, she stalked off, spinning his globe as she went leaving him with a decision to make. It should've been an easy one, clearly the thing he should do was warn Emma, to go to her before it was too late. The fact that her falling under a sleeping curse would strengthen the curse was very nearly secondary to his legitimate concern for her.

After everything he'd put her through, she did not deserve this. There would be no breaking that curse, no true love's kiss to save her. That thought saddened him more than he expected it to. At the idea of a true love's kiss he was unable to conjure up the image of _him_ breaking her curse.

The thought was, of course, absurd. Admittedly, he did care about Emma, much more than he dared let one and much more than he wished he did. But love? No…It couldn't be. Though even if what he felt for her was love, it was not strong enough to break a sleeping curse, not to mention the love had to be mutual for it to work. And if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Emma Swan did _not_ and would not _ever_ love him, not after everything he'd said to her the previous afternoon. As if he hadn't regretted that conversation enough in the first place, now he feared it had driven an irreparable wedge between them.

But even if he were to try and warn her, what would he say? 'That curse you don't believe in, those fairytales you think are just stories, well, they're not and the Evil Queen from Snow White is going to try to put you under a sleeping curse so watch your back'? Yeah, that didn't seem like the best thing to do. Not to mention he hardly thought he'd listen to a single word he said, even for a moment. And he could hardly blame her.

And he stood there behind the counter in his shop for a long while contemplating his options. He truly didn't know what to do. But he couldn't risk the curse being any stronger and he couldn't just let Emma go through that. She'd been through too much. Besides, for all he knew, it might already be too late.

That thought should have stayed out of his mind, for as soon as it entered it, he couldn't fight the thoughts that followed. He wondered whether he would dare even try to break her sleeping curse. Thinking about how much it would hurt him if it didn't work was enough to talk him out of it. And in the end, he did what he was good at, being a coward; he did nothing.

It wasn't until he heard the sirens outside wailing that he regretted his decision. His life really was full of regrets. And much quicker than he normally moved, he made his way to the front door of his shop, peeking out just in time to see the ambulance whiz by. That feeling of dread he'd been feeling since the moment Regina had entered his shop a few short hours ago had now reached it's peak.

His heart hammered inside his chest and there was an overwhelming impulsive urge growing in his chest telling him to follow after her to the hospital. After everything he had said and done to her, he owed it to her to at least try, didn't he? She _did_ have feelings for him, or at the very least had at some point, and there was no denying that he had them in return, but could it work?

Under the guise of seeing what all the fuss was about, same as about half the rest of the town, he made his way to the hospital after the ambulance. With his reputation not a single soul dared stop him as he walked through the hospital as though her were supposed to be there. All he did was follow the frantic voices and he could swear he heard Emma's voice but it had to have been his imagination wishing he hadn't really just let her fall under and unbreakable sleeping curse.

Though when eventually laid his eyes on the blonde dread beyond measure filled him. Whatever the case was, _someone_ had fallen under Regina's curse and if it hadn't been Emma, then who had it been?

He stepped as near to the room as he dared, not wanting Emma to catch sight of him. And when Emma's body moved just enough to see just whom she was crouched over, tears spilling freely from his eyes, a feeling _worse_ than dread filled him. It was Henry. Henry had been the one who'd been cursed. His self-loathing for being a coward had only been as bad once before in his life, they day he had let Baelfire's hand slip through his own.

Emma suffering from his cowardice was one thing, but Henry having to suffer was so much worse. It wasn't just because he was just a boy a victim caught in between something that was so much bigger than himself but because of how much he knew this would hurt Emma. She'd lost one child already and not very long ago, losing Henry would be more than she could handle.

In that moment, all he wanted to do was step up to her side and wrap his arms around her as he had that second night she came to see him, the night they'd slept comfortably and contently in each others arms. But he knew she would never allow it. As heartbroken as she no doubt was right then, he was not foolish enough to think she'd want comfort from him. So before he could talk himself out of it, he left, headed back to his shop, cursing himself for the man that he was.


	17. Chapter 17

Unfortunately, he didn't quit make it back to his shop. In fact, he barely made it a few steps back towards the front entrance of the hospital before he heard his name, nearly sobbed, from behind. It stopped him dead in his tracks. Whether that was from wanting to heed her call and go to her or out of fear he couldn't be sure. But as she called out again, he knew he couldn't ignore her.

With a shuttered breath he turned and saw her looking back at him. Even now, after all he'd said and done there was still that pleading look in her eyes as though she wished he would help her. But it was too late for that; the only one who could help her now was herself. Only she would be able to save Henry. As long as she _believed_.

He walked back to her as quickly as his tired, lame limbs could get him there to stand at her side. His eyes quickly scanned her face before moving over to Henry's 'sleeping' form on the bed beside them. It was so strange how peaceful he looked lying there, nearly dead, as chaos the greatest the town has seen raged on around him. Doctors were rushing around and various machines were beeping endlessly as Emma shouted at a few scared nurses bustling around trying, in vain, to determine what was wrong with him.

It ached more than anyone could possibly know, save for Emma herself, for him to see the young boy in his current state. He may not have been overly close (thought not for lack of want) with Henry but he cared about him. He reminded him much of his own son. And, he was Emma's son. That was important too and he knew how Emma must have been feeling right now.

Instinctively he laid his hand atop Henry's for a moment. All he did was look at him. He could feel Emma's eyes on him, watching him but he did not look her way. He was sure he could imagine how she was looking at him. Perhaps some strange mix of awe, understanding and the worst, _pity_.

Emma knew about his past with children and doubtless knew what must be going through his mind at the sight of Henry, the memories it may drudge up. But her knowing and understanding wasn't what bothered him about her pitying him. What bothered him was that she cared enough about him at all to pity him. He'd put her through hell and still, while her son lie unconscious, possibly inches from death for all she knew, she still spared a moments thought for him.

It was true; he didn't deserve someone like her. A moment ago he'd been content to leave her alone with her son in the condition he was in, with no one to comfort her because it was easier for _him_ that way. And the only reason he hadn't was because she had caught him on his way out. He was despicable.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, jarring him from his thoughts.

He turned, hand still resting on Henry's, to look at her. He'd been right when guessing what the look on her face might be. This thought comforted him very little.

"I heard the sirens...and then I saw your car. I-I was worried."

"Then why were you leaving?"

He stared back at her, cold brown eyes meeting vibrant green ones. There was a challenge in them and he could hardly blame her. "I expected you wouldn't wish to see me," he admitted in a whisper. A hint of the regret he's been feeling about his treatment oozed out despite himself.

"I didn't think I would either," she said, turning away from him. She couldn't look him in they eyes again as she admitted just how much he comforted her just by being there. She felt it was pathetic. She ought to hate him, and she did but he understood. He was the only one who could. It made her feel weak and pathetic but she has even hoped he might come.

She was speaking so calmly and it worried him more than a bit. Did it mean that she had already cried herself out? Or was this merely the calm before an almighty storm? Something in his gut told him it was the latter. And knowing that that storm would no doubt be heading his way in no time at all, he dearly hoped he might be wrong. Though he wouldn't hold his breath.

"I'm so sorry, Emma," he said and his tone was genuine. He was sorry for more than one thing but he was sure she would assume as much. Though even if that was where her mind went, he doubted she'd let herself believe that. And without really thinking about it, resting his cane against Henrys bed, he moved his other hand to Emma's far shoulder.

Her eyes closed at the sound of those words. Although she knew he was taking about Henry, se couldn't help but pretend, if only in that moment, that it was an apology for everything he had put her through. His hand on her shoulder surprised her slightly, not thinking he would try to touch her even to comfort her. But more surprising, was how she leaned into him, and he responded, pulling her into his side.

"It's not your fault," he whispered and was unable to stop himself from turning his head just slightly and placing a soft kiss to her temple.

The action nearly made her jump from shock that he had done it. And despite herself, she couldn't help but lean into that as well. His small kiss seemed to warm her from the inside out and she knew it shouldn't. And this realization suddenly came to her and she took the smallest of steps away from him, not completely severing the contact, she couldn't just yet no matter how mad she wanted to be at the moment, and glared at him.

"What do you know?"

"I know you. And I know whatever happened you blame yourself, but it's not your fault."

"You don't know anything," she retorted, finally stepping away from him. His assumption that he knew her irritated her, regardless of if it was true or not. "What are you even doing here?"

"You called me over..."

"Oh so now you're going to listen to me? Where the hell was that attitude a few days ago?"

"Emma-"

"No! It's bullshit. You can't just change your mind every two days about whether you give a damn about me or not. That's not how it works."

"I've never changed my mind. I _do_ care about you."

"You really expect me to believe that after everything you've done."

"I'd be surprised if you did, but that doesn't make it any less true. I swear I never meant to hurt you Emma."

"Yeah well, you did."

"I know. I know I did. It's what I've always done," he said sadly, turning his head away from her, remembering all the times he had hurt people when he hadn't meant to and also wishing he could explain to her why he had done everything he had.

"Did you ever think of, I don't know, trying not to? Do you even understand the kind of hell you've put me through in addition to everything else I had to deal with?" She sounded angry but there was sadness in her voice as well and he could hear how close she was to tears, her emotions dripping out once again. "I trusted you! Even though every bone in my body told me not to. I couldn't help it. I thought you would understand and all you did was turn me away."

"I do understand-"

"No you don't. You think you do but you don't."

"I've lost a child before too, Emma, don't forget that. And your baby was just as much mine as it was yours. Don't you dare assume it doesn't hurt me just as much as it does you."

"So then why wouldn't you help me? Why'd you leave?! I needed you, damn it, and you left me, early in the morning like some coward."

"Well that's what I am, dearie," he said, anger and emotion of his own leaking out. "I'm a coward and I cared about you and it scared the hell out of me because I knew it would never last. I couldn't handle that on top of everything else. I've a more fragile heart that you know, Ms. Swan. We're not so different, you and I. You were just as scared as I was, wanted to avoid me just as much as I wanted to avoid you," he added, not sure why he was admitting any of it but wanting her to know he had his reasons for what he'd done.

Before she learned the truth, he wanted her to know he hadn't meant to fall for her, hadn't wanted any of it to happen. If he didn't get a chance to explain he knew she would think the worst of him when she found out whom he was. He couldn't tell her everything, of course, not yet (and perhaps not ever), but he could tell that he cared, that it hadn't been a lie, that he hadn't _meant_ for any of this to happen.

"You were scared?" she asked, her voice laced with skepticism.

"Is that _really_ so hard to believe?"

"Yeah actually, it is. What the hell were you so afraid of. I'm not like you. At least it made sense for me to be worried about what would happen if I had feelings for _you_."

"I was afraid you would leave." _Like everyone else did_. "So I didn't give you the option. _I_ left."

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?!" she spat, her anger very clear now as she began to raise her voice. "You really think I would've just left? Jesus Christ, Gold I was going to have your baby!"

It was the first time she'd said it not in hushed tones like it was some dirty secret. True, she handn't wanted other people to know but not because she was ashamed but because it was none of their business. The whole thing was between her and Gold and she saw no reason why anyone else should be privy to that information. She wanted to have her privacy intact as well as his. He was an even more private individual than she.

But the truth of he matter was, she had given the whole ordeal a great deal of thought both while she had been pregnant and even afterwards. Most of the time it killed her to think about it all after he had left but that didn't mean she hadn't. And the conclusion she had reached was that no matter what he did, they were linked through that tragedy and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

To her, that link meant something. In fact, it meant a lot. Before she'd lost the baby and before he'd left her that morning and everything he'd done since, she had decided, albeit privately, that if he wanted to try to be together she would have no matter what. Forgiveness wasn't exactly what she had in mind but trying to work through things would have been an option.

Having lost the baby hadn't diminished her silent commitment to try and make things work between them if that was what he wanted. But it had appeared that that wasn't what she wanted. It hurt, yes, quite a bit but she wanted to respect that. Though, while it killed her what he did to her, how he treated her, he was still the only one who understood what she had been through, the only one she wanted by her side. That wasn't something she could just ignore, it would always be in the back of her mind should the day come where he was as willing as she to try to be together.

His head jerked up at her pronouncement, surprised she dared say it out loud, let alone shout it as she had. There were a dozen or so people within hearing distance that, were they paying any attention at all, would are have heard.

"Not because you wanted to," he fired back. "Don't insult me by pretending you were pleased. It made you sick, the thought of having my child." He was gripping his cane very tightly now, his whole body trembling with anger and sadness.

She laughed bitterly at him, shaking her head. "Actually, it didn't. There were a few moments I was actually excited. After everything you told me about our son, you really think I'd do something like that to you? I _wanted_ you to be a part of our baby's life. But then you had to go and fuck everything up; you left. You left!"

"I had to! Don't stand there and pretend to know everything, Ms. Swan. Don't pretend you _really_ wanted anything to do with me. If you hadn't gotten pregnant, if you hadn't lost the baby, you never would've spoken to me again! I know who I am, Emma. You may not but I do and as sure as I stand before you now, I _know_ you would leave me."

"What the hell are you taking about? I know you just fine and I'm telling you right now I wouldn't have! Do you honestly think I would have come to you for help if I didn't want to _that_ badly? I went to you because I knew you could help, because I wanted you to help. I couldn't stay away, and to be honest, I didn't really want to," she admitted, still half shouting at him.

"I don't think so, dearie. You came to me because I was the only option you had."

"You know what? Screw this. Why did I think you would listen to me? Get the hell out of my sight. I don't know why I called you over here in the first place." Again, a bitter laughter rose to her lips. "Oh yeah, because again I tricked myself into thinking you gave a shit, as if I had any evidence at all to back that up."

"Emma-"

"No! I'm not doing his shit again. Get out of here. Go back to your little shop and stay there for all I care. I don't care if you rot in the damn place but you better get out of my sight, I swear to god."

"You don't understand..."

"What? What don't I understand?"

"Who I am and what I've done, what I have to do, _why_ I have to do it."

She took a step closer to him, anger still flaring in her eyes but somewhat softer than before. "Then why don't you just _tell_ me? You want me to understand so badly then just fucking say something. Stop being a coward and stop hiding things from me. Maybe I'd understand if you'd just have one goddamn conversation with me that isn't a lie."

He looked back at her wondering if he should say something, knowing deep down that if he did she may in fact understand. It may not make anything any easier but at least she would know _why_. But he couldn't. There was still that lingering doubt that once she found out who he was, she wouldn't care what he said, she would never believe him. Why spill his soul to have it not mean anything in a very short while?

"I can't," he said, just above a whisper, looking down at his feet as he twirled his cane nervously in his hand.

"Why the hell not?" Her frustration was evident.

His head shot back up to look at her again and he was just as frustrated as she was. "I just _can't_ ," he said, gesturing towards her with his fee hand. At any rate, she would know soon enough.

She huffed in annoyance and threw her hands up at him. "Fine. Then just go. Leave. It's what you're good at."

He looked at her like she'd knocked the wind out of him. She couldn't know, of course, just how much her words cut him. But all he could think of was that his son probably thought the same of him; letting go and leaving were the same in his eyes, acts of a coward. He let his head drop sadly to his chest, his eyes closed as he tried to remain steady.

"I've gotta get back to my kid," she added before turning back away from him and going back to Henry's bedside.

For a small moment longer, he stood there watching her, wishing he could tell her. But it was too soon, she still didn't believe. It was a double edged sword for by the time she would be able to understand completely, or at least mostly, she wouldn't want to see him or speak to him ever again. She would know him for the monster that he was.

He said nothing in parting to her, knowing she wouldn't want to hear it anyway. And once more he turned around to leave the hospital. This time, his travels were unimpeded.

Half of her had wished he had fought back, that he wouldn't have left that easily. Of course, she could hardly say she was surprised he hadn't. Just once though she wished he might try a little harder. It was clear he still had feelings for her, still wanted her, so why couldn't he just do it? Was it so bad for her to wish he'd step up just once?

She stood at Henry's beside a moment longer, just looking at him. He looked like he was just asleep, like any moment now he would just wake. And though she knew it was hopeless, she couldn't help but wish it could be true.

He really did look like he was in a deep sleep. Everything about him looked so… _peaceful_. And she couldn't even believe she was thinking it, but she remembered seeing a picture in Henry's storybook where Snow White was asleep under the sleeping curse, looking very much like Henry did now.

It was silly; really, that it even came to her mind, because the last thing she wanted to think about was that damn storybook that was the entire reason her son was in the position he was, but she couldn't help it. From where she stood, she looked over at the empty bed across from Henry's where his backpack with that very storybook was sitting. An overwhelming urge to walk over to it overcame her.

Hesitantly, for reasons she couldn't then understand, she pulled the book from his backpack and set it down on the bed. She shot one more glance at Henry, for the first time willing to believe that maybe, just maybe he was right about the book. Maybe it was just her last hope, her clinging to anything that might mean she wasn't about to lose another kid, or maybe she was just finally ready to believe in something for once whether it would make any difference or not.

Lightly she traced her fingers over the letters on the cover. And that's when it happened. It was like a giant wave came crashing down over her as memories and visions of a different time and a different place swept over her.

She could hear Henry's voice in her head, telling her about how she was in the book, that she was the savior as images of the man she knew as David was putting her in a wardrobe. "Find us," he said to the baby in his arms, the baby she now knew to be herself, the one that would one day be the savior who brought back all the happy endings. _Her_.

Though she hardly got the time to process that information even a little bit before she heard Regina's voice and the sound of her heels on the linoleum as she stormed into the ICU. A burning hatred the likes of which she had never felt before filled her at Regina's concerned tone. This was all _her_ fault.

"You did this," she uttered dangerously, fire in her eyes before she turned sharply and stormed over to Regina. Grabbing her swiftly by the elbow she dragged her off in the direction of a small supply closet, ignoring her protests and her attempts to pull away. When she got the door open she shoved her forcefully into the shelving unit inside.

"You did this!" she shouted as she did so.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Regina shouted back as Emma grabbed her once more, anger so fierce she wasn't even she what she was doing. All she knew was that she was going to get her to fix this.

"Stop this! My son!" She shouted once more as Emma pinned her to the lockers behind her.

"He's sick because of you! That apple turnover you gave me—He ate it!" Emma snarled back, her forearm hard against the other woman's throat, her face mere inches away.

"What?" Her voice was just a whisper, shock evident in her features. "It was meant for you," she went on, mind reeling, never having expected that Henry would have gotten a hold of the poised turnover.

"It's true, isn't it?" Emma asked, ignoring the fact that Regina had basically tried to kill her, for the moment.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's true, isn't it?! All of it?"

Emma wasn't really in the mood to listen to Regina play dumb. They didn't have time for this bullshit. Her son was lying sick in a bed right now and they needed to fix it and Emma was pretty damn certain by this point that she needed magic to do it.

Resigned, Regina let her head fall back in defeat against the lockers.

"Yes."

"I was leaving town. Why couldn't you just leave things alone?"

"Because as long as you're alive, Henry will never be mine!"

"He'll never be anyone's unless you fix this. You wake him up!" She demanded, still not loosening her hold on Regina.

"I can't!" She shouted back, the desperation leaking into her voice. She had used all the magic she had left making the apple turnover. No matter how badly she wished she could fix it, she couldn't think of what to do.

"Don't you have magic?"

"That was the last of it. IT was supposed to put _you_ to sleep!" And with those shouted words, Regina pushed Emma away from her once and for all.

"What's it gonna do to him?"

Regina shook her head. "I don't know. Magic here is unpredictable."

"So…so he could…" she stuttered, tears forming in her eyes, lip worrying.

No, she didn't want to think about it. She had already gotten her hopes up by believing he was just asleep. Cursed, but asleep, meaning he could be woken up. But if that wasn't the case—No. She wouldn't let it. She wouldn't lose another kid so shortly after the last one.

"Yes…"

Regina didn't want to speak the words either. She wasn't even sure she could if she had to. The thought of losing Henry pained her just as much as it did Emma. Henry was all she had in this world, _any_ world for that matter, now. She'd already lost everything; she didn't want to lose him too.

It took everything in Emma not to breakdown right there at her worst fear being confirmed. But she knew that wouldn't help anything. She was still determined to make sure that didn't happen. Maybe magic wasn't the only answer. Maybe there was something else.

"So what do we do?"

Regina sighed, shaking her head. And she took a step away from the wall, knowing there was only one thing left for them to do. That's how he'd always liked it, no other options but him, people who were _desperate_. And they were surely that. _She_ didn't have magic, but she had a feeling he just might.

"We need help. There's one other person in this town who knows about this…" She sighed again. "Knows about magic."

"Mr. Gold."

The words slid past her lip without a moment's thought. She didn't even need confirmation from Regina; she knew it. It had to be him, who else could it be?

"Actually he goes by 'Rumpelstiltskin'."

_Rumpelstiltskin? No. No it can't be true._

But she knew it must be. Regina had no reason to lie, not at the moment anyway. Though this knowledge did nothing to soothe her troubled mind. In fact, it only made things worse. She'd only seen bits of Rumpelstiltskin's tale from Henry's storybook so she couldn't speak to that version, but she did know this world's version of the story.

It had been a while and the exact details were murky at best in her mind, but she was at the very least aware that he wasn't the good guy in the story. And that's when something from their earlier conversation clicked in her mind, the bit about him being scared she would leave him when she learned the truth. Surely this must have been what he meant.

At the moment, a big part of her was inclined to think that he had been right.


	18. Chapter 18

"Rumpelstitlskin…as in that little creepy guy who tries to steal people's babies?"

"Well, sort of. It's not _quite_ like the story I'm sure you've heard. None of those stories are right."

"What, like the story about the Evil Queen and Snow White?" Emma asked disdainfully, not really wanting to hear Regina try to tell her side of the story or something like that. There were more important things at the moment.

"For one, yes. But that's not important right now. What _is_ important is that we go see Mr. Gold right now and get him to help us."

"Are you sure we need him?" She really didn't want to go see him again right now. As usual, however, there was a bit of conflicted feelings swirling in her head. She had a hell of a lot of things on her mind, questions, for one, and an accusation or two for sure.

"Unfortunately, yes. If there's any more magic in Storybrooke, he has it…or knows where it is."

"Fine…"

"Great. Let's go and hope that he doesn't ask for too much in return."

And the two of them then headed out of the small storage closet and back towards the front of entrance of the hospital. Neither of them spoke to each other, both too preoccupied with their own thoughts to pay any mind to the other, at least until a nurse called out for Regina.

Regina turned to look at the woman, yet continued to walk towards the ext. "What?"

"Sorry, but there's something I need to tell you…"

"Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm busy. It'll have to wait."

"But Madame Mayor, it's-it's important-" the woman said, looking around shiftily and cast a small glance in Emma's direction, who had stopped to see what was up as well.

The Mayor turned to catch Emma's eye, which was giving her a questioning look.

"I'll meet you at Gold's shop."

"If it's about Henry-"

"It's not," the nurse chimed in quickly and gave Regina a meaningful look.

"I'll catch up. Just go."

"All right, but hurry up."

"I will." Then she turned back to the nurse and walked off to the side of the hallway with her until they were somewhere nobody could hear them. "This had damn well be important. My son is dying right now…"

"It is, I promise. You said you wanted me to tell you anything about Ms. Swan…."

"I recall. What is it?"

"Well she was here not that long ago, came in through the emergency…"

"And why was I not made aware of this?" Regina inquired, head cocked to this side and brows furrowed both in anger and in question. What had been bad enough that she came in through emergency?

"Well I wasn't her nurse that day and some people in here are a bit more closed lipped about these sorts of things and I wasn't able to get my hand on her records."

"So then what are you telling me for?"

"Well I wasn't there _then_ but earlier before you got here when she was talking to Mr. Gold-"

"Gold was here? Why?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. They were arguing—I didn't catch all of it but he came here for her."

"For Emma?" Now she was even more concerned.

"Yes. When Ms. Swan came into the emergency room that day…I think she had a miscarriage…"

"You think?"

"Well she mentioned earlier about almost having his child…"

" _Gold's child?!"_

"Yes…that's what I thought you would want to know. There's something between them."

"Well….yes, now that, _that_ is interesting," Regina replied, nodding her head idly as she ran this information through her head. Her eyes had taken on this distant look as she took it all in. She wasn't sure what to make of it just yet, but it certainly was valuable information. "Right, well, thank you. You were right to bring this to my attention."

Meanwhile Emma was standing just outside the door to Gold's shop debating whether to go in now or just wait for Regina. There were several things she wanted to say and wanted to ask him and once Regina showed up she wasn't sure when she'd get a chance to next. Biting her lip, she steeled her nerves and entered the shop with the signature sound of the bell ringing out as she did.

He was there behind the counter as though he were waiting for her. And as the thought popped into her head, she thought that that was precisely what he was doing. He must've known that the truth was about to be known, hence his reluctance to start anything with her. If that was the case, he probably knew she'd have to come to him for help…she always had before at any rate, so why not now?

And it was true, he had been waiting for her, though he'd expected Regina to be there with her, but she came in alone. He looked over Emma's shoulder expecting to see Regina perhaps standing outside but his quick scan proved fruitless.

"Emma…"

"So is this what you were talking about?"

"What do you mean?" He wasn't going to be the one to say anything. If she knew, which by the look in her eyes he was sure she did, he wanted her to be the one to bring it up.

"Don't do that. You know what I mean. You…and magic…and…Rumpelstiltskin—Was this what you couldn't tell me?"

He said nothing, of course, still too cowardly to admit the truth to her. But the look he gave her said more than enough. The truth was written all over his face; for once, she could read him very clearly.

"Why wouldn't you just _tell_ me?"

He scoffed openly.

"Oh, because you would have believed me, yes?"

Emma at least had the conscience to look ashamed at his words. She knew she wouldn't have believed him. She would have thought he was making some lame excuse to avoid any consequences from what they had done together. She hadn't even believed Henry when he'd try to tell her the fairytales in his book were real, there was no way she would have believed Gold.

"You could have tried."

"It wouldn't have been worth the effort. Nobody can _make_ you believe, Ms. Swan. It had to be something you came to on your own. Though admittedly I had hoped for better circumstances."

"What do you mean you _hoped_? Did you know this was going to happen?"

"You believing? Of course I did. Surely Henry told you how it works, you break the curse, you're the savior."

"What do you—"

But she didn't get to ask him any more questions; Regina had just walked in, effectively postponing her and Gold's little conversation for a later time. As she walked in she cast a curiously knowing look at the pair of them, a look Gold did not like at all. He found it raising the hairs on the back of his neck. She knew something; he could tell, and he didn't like the thought.

"Never mind," Emma said, looking down and away from him as Regina stepped up beside her. "We need your help."

"Indeed you do," he commented, trying not to think too much about the look Regina had given him. And he decided to act as naturally as he could, so as to not rouse any more suspicion from Regina. "It seems a tragic ailment has befallen our young friend." He turned his eyes to Regina. "I told you magic comes with a price…"

"Henry shouldn't have to pay it," Regina replied with a small shake of her head.

"No you should," he fired back, his irritation with her evident. "But alas, we are where we are."

"Can you help us?" Emma cut in, desperation in her voice.

"Of course—True love, Ms. Swan—"

She hadn't been expecting those words, and she heard him go on about it being the only magic powerful enough to transcend realms and break any curse but she was unable to focus on him entirely due to an odd swirling in her stomach at the sound of his words. It wasn't like she thought he was talking about her and him, that was absurd, but just hearing him say the word 'love' at all, it just—It was strange. That was the best way she could describe it.

"Luckily for you—"

_Luckily for me what?!_

"—I happen to have bottled some."

_Jesus Christ._

For a moment there she had thought, rather foolishly perhaps, he had been about to say something about someone loving her, _him_ loving her. She wanted to kick herself for even having the thought. But the way the had talked earlier…well, it wasn't exactly like they weren't both aware they had feelings for one another. And she was confused and emotional and worried about Henry, so what if her mind kept jumping to different, odd conclusions? It certainly didn't mean that's what she'd been hoping he would have said, right?

"You did?" Regina asked.

"Oh, yes," he answered, not taking his eyes off of Emma. That swirling feeling in her stomach came back again. "From strands of your parents', I made the most powerful potion in all the realm, so powerful that when I created the dark curse—"

_Wait?_ He _made the curse? I thought it was the Queen who did all this. What the hell?_

"—I placed a single drop on the parchment." He smiled slightly to himself, proud of his own ingenuity. It had been a wonderful plan. Perhaps not the best time to be congratulating himself on a job well done but—it was a good idea. And it had worked. "Just a little safety valve."

And with the mention of that, Emma had the answer to her previous question.

"That's why I'm the savior. That's why I can break the curse."

"Now you're getting it."

"I don't care about breaking the curse, all I care about is saving Henry."

"Which is why it's your lucky day."

_Now who's the one with the funny definition of luck?_

"I didn't use all the potion," he went on. Regina gave him a murderous look, pissed off he'd managed to keep this secret from her all this time. "I saved some for a rainy day."

"Well, it's storming like a bitch. Where is it?" Emma shot back, hands on the counter in front of her as she leaned in towards him.

"Where it is isn't the problem. Getting it is what should worry you." Then he rounded back on Regina as she spoke up again.

"Enough riddles. What do we do?"

"You do nothing," he retorted. He'd had quite enough of her this evening already. What with the fact it was _her_ fault Henry was in the position he was, and that look she gave him when she walked in, he wasn't happy with her at all. "It has to be Ms. Swan."

"He's my son. It should be me."

"All due respect," he began, not sounding respectful in the least, "but it's her son. It has to be her. She's the product of the magic. She must be the one to find it."

He wasn't exactly pleased with that notion knowing what it was she was going to have to do to get that potion, but it was the truth of the matter. Though technically the potion wasn't strictly necessary for what _she_ needed done, but it was essential to him. There was another way she could save Henry but getting that potion would work just as well and kill two birds with one stone.

"I can do it," Emma said with confidence that was, for the first time in a while, not feigned at all.

"Don't trust him," Regina advised, already sensing he was withholding something. After all, she knew what he was like probably better than anyone, even Emma. She'd known him far longer. Perhaps not as intimately, but she _did_ know him.

"What choice do we have?"

"That's right, dearie. What choice _do_ you have?" He asked, once more rounding on Regina, a snarl to his lips.

"Where is this magic?" Emma chimed in.

"Tell me, your majesty, is our friend still in the basement?"

"Oh, you twisted little imp," Regina replied, realizing to just what—or whom, really, he was referring to. "You hid it with her?"

"Oh, no, not with her. _In_ her. I knew you couldn't resist bringing her over."

"Who is 'her'?" Emma was learning a whole lot of new shit that night and she was pretty much done with it all. She just wanted one goddamn straight answer so that she could save her son.

"Someone you should be prepared for," he answered with a cant of his head as he moved a small rag off of the case that was sitting on the counter between them. "Where you're going, you're going to need this," he said, opening up the case and revealing a glistening sword.

"What is that?"

_What the hell does it look like, Emma?_

"Your father's sword."

Where she had been confident that she could do whatever was necessary to save Henry not even a minute ago, the look she gave him just then was one filled with fear, apprehension and doubt. She'd never so much as touched a sword before in her life, or even seen one in person. What the hell was she going to do with that, and what's more, what the hell was hiding the potion that she needed a sword to get it?

Unfortunately she didn't get an answer to that question before Regina dragged her off, muttering something about not having time for questions. And they decided to go and say…well, go see Henry one more time before they went and fought whatever the hell it was that was hiding the true love potion.

Emma gave Henry back his storybook apologizing for not believing him and then letting Regina have her moment alone with him. At any rate she had someone else to go apologize to, August. So she did that, finding him a completely wooden statue and adding one more person she had to save by breaking the curse. And then she met Regina back at the Library.

Regina hadn't been any more forthcoming with what she was about to face then than she had been back in Gold's shop. She'd been as vague as possible only saying that she'd been trapped in a different form, whatever the hell that meant. And then she'd lowered her town in the elevator to blindly face what was down there.

When she reached the bottom, she stepped out into a large empty…well, she wasn't exactly sure what it was only that it was just underground somewhere. There were great cavernous walls of rock surrounding her and she walked forward, sword poised to fight (though she had no idea what she was doing with it), and found a cliff.

Carefully she stepped up to its edge, possibly expecting whatever it was to be down at the bottom of it. She couldn't see anything though, so she slowly stepped back again and rested for a second against the wall. She just needed a minute to think, to gather herself before going on.

What she hadn't realized though when she hit it, was that the big wall of rock behind her wasn't actually a rock at all. And whatever it was, it was alive. She could feel it _breathing_ and it gave a low growl. Her hands went out to her sides and reached behind her feeling something scaly as it began to move and she stepped away quickly.

At the sight that greeted her, she was certain her heart had skipped a beat or ten. She couldn't believe it, and wouldn't have two hours ago, but standing right there in front of her was a real live dragon. Or at least it looked like everything she'd seen in books and movies _said_ a dragon should look like.

It stood well over a hundred feet tall with a wingspan the length of Mary Margaret's apartment at least, maybe even bigger. Emma couldn't be too sure; her brain wasn't exactly functioning properly at the moment. She'd only just mildly come to terms with the fact that fairytales were real and she was supposedly a real live savior, she wasn't really sure she was quite ready to cope with the fact that dragons were real as well.

It uncoiled and stood full upright, head rearing back as it let out a jet of fire with a fearsome roar. And when it was done, it looked down and looked right at her.

_Fuck._

She tried stepping away and tripped backwards on a rock, her sword falling out of her hand clattering loudly and landing a few feet away. But she didn't want it any way; she'd rather use her gun than have to get close enough to the thing to use a sword. So she took a few shots at it but that only seemed to irritate it more as it let out a large blast of fire right at her.

She quickly stood up and hid behind a large rock, peeking out and taking another few shots at the dragon. As she stood there, catching her breath, she looked off to the side seeing where her sword had landed. When she saw it she suddenly had the thought that shooting the dragon just wasn't going to do the trick. Gold had said she would need the sword, right? So maybe she should actually use it.

With courage she wasn't even aware she had, she ran as fast as she could over to it, the dragon hot on her heels… _literally_ , and grabbed it up turning to face the dragon head on.

"Hey!" She shouted, the dragon answering back with another loud roar.

And once more it reared its head back ready to let out another burst of fire. That's when Emma took her chance. She raised the sword back over her head and then threw it as hard as she could right at the dragon's middle and it its mark. Then she watched as the dragon sort of imploded and dissolved away in flames right before her eyes, leaving a relatively large egg shaped case in its wake.

Emma grabbed it, holding it tightly to her chest, not wanting to risk losing it and headed back to the elevator and called up for Regina to raise her up. Everything was going just fine, she'd slain a dragon, apparently, gotten the potion and she was going to save Henry. Or so she thought, until the elevator came to a sudden stop about twenty feet too short.

"Regina! What the hell was that?! Regina!"

"Ms. Swan?" A familiar voice called out to her before she saw his head peek into the elevator shaft. "You've got it?"

"Mr. Gold, what are you doing here?" She genuinely had no idea. She thought he was busy doing whatever the hell he does. What did he care whether she got the potion or not to save Henry?

"I've come to check on you."

_Check on me…_

Emma tried really, really hard to not read too much into that. Unfortunately that rarely ever worked. The only thing keeping her from dwelling on those words and trying to decipher their meaning was the fact that Henry was still in trouble and she didn't know how much time she had left.

"I'm glad I did. Regina abandoned you," he went on, "and sabotaged the elevator."

_That bitch! What the hell?_

What? I'm coming up."

"No. There's—There's no time for this," he argued. He needed that potion and he couldn't take it if she was there to fight him for it. He told himself again and again in his head that this was necessary, though it hardly assuaged his guilt at what he was doing. But he had faith she would still be able to do what needed to be done to save Henry.

"You can't possibly scale the wall _and_ carry that."

"Yeah? Well, I can try."

_Why does she have to be so stubborn?_

"No, you can't. Just toss it up. Your boy's gonna be fine. I promise," he said, placing his hand over his heart and giving her the most genuine look he could muster knowing he was about to betray her…in a sense. Again, he just told himself that it would all work out properly in the end.

Emma stared back up at him, not sure what to do. He was right, there was no way she'd be able to get up there while carrying the egg shaped case. She would have to trust him; she didn't have any other choice. She didn't like that she had to do it and didn't want to but it was her only option. She just hoped that the first time she put actual faith in him that he would follow through.

"Okay. You hold on to it. I'll be right up."

He caught it, and he held on to it, that's for sure. But he didn't wait for her before he turned and left. He had his own agenda for that potion; he _needed_ it. Feelings for Emma or not, he had come to this world to get his son back and this time he wasn't going to chose _anything_ or anyone for that matter before his son.

"Mr. Gold? Gold!" she called up to him, but he was already gone.

When she finally climbed out of the shaft she found Regina tied up to a chair with tape over her mouth.

"Regina!" She ran over to the other woman and ripped the tape off her mouth.

"Uhh! He tricked you!"

_Idiot_.

Of course, _of course_ he had betrayed her trust. Everything in her gut had always told her she couldn't trust him but she had so desperately needed to in that moment and he'd taken advantage of that. And even though she knew she should have seen it coming, and part of her hadn't really believed he was being genuine, it still hurt.

After everything he had said to her back at the hospital, she had really thought he cared about her. At this point she hoped it all had been a lie. To her it was more of a comfort to think he'd been lying to her the whole time and didn't have feelings for her than to think he _did_ have real feelings for her and still decided to do this to her.

"How could you give him that?!" Regina asked in frustration.

"Where is he?"

"Gone. Gold…He manipulated all of this."

"Come on. He can't be that far."

Oh, yeah. She wanted to find him all right. She wanted to beat the shit out of him for even daring to do this to her or to Henry. What kind of person would do something like that? Her son was _dying_ for Christ's sake. For someone who knew what it was like to lose a kid, she'd have thought he would've been a bit more sympathetic to her cause.

And that had been just her plan. Really, with a lame leg he couldn't possibly have gotten very far. She had every intention of tracking him down and giving him a piece of her mind. Until both her and Regina's cell phones went off.

It was the hospital saying Henry had taken a turn for the worse and they had better get there quick. So, all their intentions to pay back Gold for betraying them and getting the potion from him was abandoned as they rushed to the hospital.

When they got to where Henry was being kept, both Dr. Whale and Mother Superior came out to greet them looking grim. Emma's stomach plummeted knowing that look. Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes in anticipation of what she was sure they were going to say.

"We did everything we could," Dr. Whale announced with a genuinely apologetic look.

"I'm sorry," Mother Superior, added, a slight glisten to her eyes as well, "you're too late."

Emma stared back at them dumbfounded, unwilling to believe what they were saying. It couldn't be true. It wasn't fair. She'd already lost one kid already, and she had only just started getting to know Henry. It wasn't fair that she would have to lose him so soon.

As though unaware of it, she let her legs carry her to Henry's bedside. There was a nurse there disconnecting all the wires and tubes connected to him; they were no longer necessary. Nothing those wires or tubes had been doing were enough to save him now. It was all too late.

She just looked at him, tears unable to fall just yet, and exhaled heavily. After everything she'd done to try to save him, it just hadn't been enough. Another heavy sigh escaped her as she looked down at his lifeless form. He was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

Back at his shop, Gold was busy getting the key to open the case containing the bottle of true love. He felt guiltier than he'd ever say to anyone about what he was doing, but he _needed_ magic to find his son. Were it not for his certainty that Ms. Swan would be able to break Henry's sleeping curse with true love's kiss, he wouldn't have risked it, but he knew she would do it.

Once the case was open, delicately he took out the potion and looked at it. It was just as it was the day he had locked it in there, glowing bright purple. He was relieved to see that bringing it to this land hadn't altered it. All he had to do now was take it to the well in the woods to bring magic to Storybrooke, the magic he would need to find Bae.

However, before he was able to do anything else with it, he heard the tell tale signs of someone entering his shop. He was quite certain it couldn't be Ms. Swan coming to retaliate against him for what he'd done just yet. There was no doubt in his mind that he would know when that moment was coming. It was still too soon.

"Um, excuse me? Are you Mr. Gold?" A woman's voice called out. It would have sounded familiar had he been paying close enough attention, but he was too preoccupied with his future plans.

"Yes, I am," he started beginning to turn around to face the visitor, "but I'm afraid the shop's closed—" He stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of the woman who'd entered his shop.

It was her, Belle. He could hardly believe his eyes. In fact, he wasn't sure that he _could_ believe his eyes. She was supposed to be dead, that's what Regina had told him. Not once had it ever occurred to him that Regina might have lied. He had been so blinded then by his feelings for Belle and the idea that she shared them and so upset with himself that he'd sent her away that it had been all too easy to believe Regina's tale.

"I was, uh, I was told to—to find you and tell you that Regina locked me up. Does—Does that mean anything to you?"

Slowly, and somewhat shakily, he made his way over to her. He really couldn't believe his eyes. For so long he had thought her to be dead, and he refused to get his hopes up if this were all some terrible dream, or figment of his imagination. And in that moment, all guilt about Emma and what was happening to Henry was forgotten. He was too caught up in seeing this ghost again to worry about anything else.

He stopped just over a foot away from her, still fearing she wasn't real and that this was some sort of strange dream or nightmare. And tentatively, he reached his hand out and placed it on her shoulder to make sure she was really there. When she didn't immediately dissolve away or disappear and he could _actually_ feel her, he squeezed her shoulder lightly as a relieved sigh fell past his lips.

"You're real," he breathed. Meanwhile, she looked at him curiously, wondering just who he was and how he knew her, because she most certainly did not know him. "You're alive," he added. Her look grew even more curious.

"She did this to you," he breathed again, referring to Regina.

"I was told you'd protect me."

Tears pricked at the backs of his eyes and his bottom lip worried as he looked at her disheveled form, wondering just what Regina had put her through.

"Oh, yes," he said, his voice clouded with emotion and he was unable to stop himself from pulling her into a hug. "Yes, I'll protect you," he vowed, tears brimming in his eyes.

Belle, pushed away from him, shaking her head. She didn't know him at all, and while grateful to be out of her basement cell, she was hesitant to allow him to hold her as though he knew her.

"Um, I'm sorry. Do—Do I know you?"

"No," he answered, sadly, his lip worrying more. "But you will."

"I don't—" she really didn't understand any of what he was saying, but he seemed genuine enough. And then she remembered the note the man who had released her had given her and she fished it out of the pockets of her jacket.

"Oh, I—the man who told me to find you…He gave me this. He told me to give it to you…"

He cocked his head curiously but took the small note from her, seeing his name in a rather untidy scrawl on the small folded bit of paper. Hesitantly he opened it, wondering just who it was who would have released Belle from wherever it was Regina had been keeping her and told her to find him. Quickly he scanned to the bottom of the note before actually reading it and found Jefferson's name written there and rage surged inside of him. And it was only out of morbid curiosity that he read what he had to say.

_I know this can't bring back what you've lost. I know this can't fix what happened, but it was the only thing I could think to do and I had to do something. I'm sorry for what happened and I promise you it was an accident. I never meant to hurt anyone and I didn't know she was pregnant. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I just wanted my daughter back. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I'm so sorry._

Tears fell down his cheeks as he read the note. Part of him wanted to tear is up and throw it away and ignore everything he had said. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. As angry as he was and as much as he wanted to blame Jefferson for what happened, something stopped him from being able to completely. He knew Jefferson was cursed to see his daughter day in and day out and not be able to be with her and that was something he could sympathize with even through all of his anger.

"Wha—What is it? Are you okay?" Belle asked, still looking at him curiously.

"It's nothing. It's—Let's not worry about that right now. I want to show you something."

Emma still couldn't believe what was happening. She never expected this to happen; she had been so sure that she would be able to save him. She was supposed to be the savior and she wished she were. In that moment, she wished for nothing more than to be the savior he had believed her to be.

She wanted to do something, _anything_ , but had no idea what she could do. A "savior" she may be because of the curse and being the product of true love, but she couldn't bring someone back from the dead. Never before had she ever felt so useless. At least the last time there had never been any chance of her saving her baby, not like this time. She'd had an opportunity to save him and it had been ripped away from her, she had let it go.

At the moment, though, she was too busy thinking about Henry and lamenting over all her lost time with him to be mad at Gold for taking her one shot at saving him. That time would come, very shortly she imagined and he would have hell to pay for doing this, but right then all she could do was cry.

Walking up to his bedside, tears in her eyes, body shaking with quiet sobs, she grabbed his hand. She still couldn't help but think how peaceful he looked there, as though he were just asleep. And she reached her hand out, as tears continued to stream down her face, to push his hair out of his face.

Her whole body shook as she sobbed yet again. This was so much worse than the last time, but she was at least thankful for the chance to say goodbye, something she hadn't gotten the last time. At least she could have some sort of closure this time around. There were still so many thoughts about "what if"s, but at least she got to know him at all.

And she leaned in towards him, still unable to contain her tears, "I love you, Henry," she whispered before she put her lips to his forehead and kissed him.

Just as she did, there was a sudden surge from the spot where she'd kissed him. While she was no expert on the subject, only just having found out that magic was even real, she couldn't help but think that whatever that surge was, that it had something to do with magic. And the next thing she knew, Henry was gasping awake before her very eyes.

"I love you, too," he said when he opened his eyes and looked over at her and smiled.

Tears were flowing even more freely down her face, though this time in relief. She almost couldn't believe that he was actually alive.

"You saved me," he added as she ran her fingers through his hair.

And he was right. She didn't understand it exactly, but she did it. And she laughed through her tears of happiness that he was actually okay.

"You did it," Regina chimed in from behind them as Emma continued to run her fingers through Henry's hair.

And while she was in the hospital there with Henry, outside and through the rest of the town, that surge of magic was spreading out. Across the town, people who'd been cursed for twenty-eight years were all suddenly waking up. Finally, the dark curse had been broken, and memories were flooding back to everyone.

"Henry, what's going on?" Emma asked as she noticed Dr. Whale and Mother Superior with strange look on their faces. To her it looked like they'd suddenly woken up from a long nap or something.

"No," Regina muttered under her breath, realizing what had happened.

"The curse," Henry said, "I think you broke it."

"That was true love's kiss," Mother Superior said, looking between Emma and Henry.

"No, no!" Regina exclaimed from where she stood, looking outraged.

"If I were you, your majesty, I'd find a place to hide," Mother Superior advised, seeming a lot less like a nun now than she had ten minutes ago.

"Henry," Regina said, moving to join him at his bedside, "no matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you." And before he could say anything in return, she took off. She didn't need telling twice that it was unwise for her to stick around for long. She was no fool; she knew people wouldn't be happy with her now that they remembered what she had done to them all.

Emma was gladder than she could ever possibly say to see Henry's smiling face looking at her, she only wished she had more time to enjoy it before that nice moment was taken from her as well. They were standing and looking out the window when they saw it, a large purple cloud heading towards town. Again, she was no expert, but there was a part of her that was pretty sure that that cloud had something to do with magic.

Emma wanted to go and check it out and figure out what exactly was happening. If she had just broken the curse, then according to what Henry had been telling her, everyone should remember who they had been in the fairytale world they had come from. And since Gold had confirmed that what Henry said about her parents, then she had a feeling they'd want to see her.

So, she had Henry get dressed while she gathered his things and they left the hospital together. Once outside, they found a decent sized group of people all in the middle of the street. No doubt they were all having a sort of reunion now that they remembered who they all were. And she suspected they'd be trying to figure out what the purple haze had been and who had caused it, something she was curious about as well.

When she got closer to the group, Mary Margaret, who was actually her mom according to the storybook, turned and looked at her. Emma shifted her gaze awkwardly. It was the way she was looking at her, and David had joined in as well. They were both looking at her like they'd never seen her before and it was just strange.

Though she supposed to them, it kind of was like they were seeing her for the first time. To them, they were seeing their daughter for the first time. Part of her felt weird that it didn't seem like that to her. She knew they were supposedly her parents and she knew that and believed that now, but it didn't really _feel_ like that.

To her, they still felt like her friend Mary Margaret and well, David, she hardly even knew him. All she knew him as was the guy Mary Margaret was seeing. She'd hardly even talked to him before and when she had, she was arresting him under suspicion of him killing his wife. And they were just looking at her so expectantly and she wasn't sure what they expected of her but somehow she doubted she'd be able to deliver.

And then Mary Margaret stepped forward, and part of her wanted to step back because all of this was just strange and new to her and she wasn't quite sure she was ready for all of it. Yes, she'd been looking for them most of her life, but this had never been what she imagined when she'd thought of _actually_ finding her parents.

But she didn't back away. She let Mary Margaret embrace her with her whispered words of, "you found us," breathed out through her tears. And she didn't know what to say to that so she kept quiet. Then David had joined in as well and she was sort of sandwiched between them, not really sure what to do. Somewhat awkwardly she tried to return their hugs and it just felt strange.

"Grandpa?" Henry asked, chiming in from behind the three of them.

It was odd for her to hear him call David that, but it lessened the awkwardness of it all and she actually laughed along with David and Mary Margaret at his words. For him it was different though. For years he had believed so firmly that these people were his real grandparents that it wasn't really a surprise how readily he accepted the reality of it.

"Yeah, kid. I suppose so," David replied with a chuckle before pulling him into a one armed hug.

"She did it, she saved you."

Emma looked awkwardly at the three of them. It was just strange to hear people talk about her like she was some savior. She may have saved these people, or brought back their memories but she didn't feel like a savior. All she had done was try to save her son and then she'd kissed him. It didn't feel like a whole lot to her.

"She saved all of us," Mary Margaret added.

"I…Well…" Emma mumbled. Then she nodded because technically it was true so she couldn't really argue.

"Uh, then why are we still here?" Leroy piped up.

"That, my friend, is an excellent question," David replied.

And then a few of the rest of the dwarves, as they were known in the Enchanted Forest, rounded off a few more questions, mainly about the purple smoke and who had caused it. These were questions Emma wanted answered as well. Though she did think she might have an idea.

But David wasn't the one to answer, and Emma didn't get a chance to voice her opinion either before Mother Superior joined their small group.

"Magic. It's here," she supplied, tone holding not an ounce of doubt. "I can feel it."

"Magic? In Storybrooke?" Henry asked, stepping forward. "You're the Blue Fairy. Do something magic."

"It's not quite that simple, Henry. No wand, no fairy dust. Matters are complicated now."

"Let's go to the person responsible for bringing it—" Leroy cut in once more.

"The Queen!" Shouted several people in the group. And there were mutterings of agreement from the rest of them. But Emma knew better. She'd been with Regina when it happened. She knew it wasn't her. There was only one other person it could be, one she knew had had access to magic at the time. _Gold_.

"No. Wait. It wasn't Regina," Emma bit out scathingly.

Mary Margaret whipped around to face her and Emma gave her a meaningful look. She didn't really want to discuss any of it in front of the others, but she knew Mary Margaret would both know whom she was talking about and understand why she looked as irritated about it as she did.

David looked curiously between the two, wondering what the look had meant. Emma didn't really feel like telling him everything but figured at some point, if Mary Margaret didn't beat her to it, she might have to. In some ways she felt he would need to know to understand, reluctant though she was to have him know about her personal life like that.

Mary Margaret nodded knowingly and shot David a look that said she would explain later. And then Emma was about to gather anyone who wanted to help to go find Gold and get to the bottom of everything and figure just what it was he had done. Plus, she thought he might know why they hadn't gone back to the Enchanted Forest, since he was the one who created the curse apparently.

But before she could, Dr. Hopper had come running to tell them that Dr. Whale had gathered a mob and was heading to Regina's house to kill her. There was only a small part of her that wanted to leave them to it, but she knew she couldn't. What kind of savior would she be if she let them kill Regina, even if she might deserve it? That was still Henry's mom. So instead she set off to put that out and saved dealing with Gold for later.

"My darling Belle," Gold said, a small smile on his lips as he turned to face his true love. "You have to tell me what happened to you."

"I was abducted."

"Regina," he bit out and it wasn't a question. He knew it had been her. There was no doubt about it. Yet Belle nodded in answer anyway.

"She locked me away into her curse, and I've been in the asylum ever since."

"For twenty-eight years."

Belle nodded her head somberly, holding back tears and trying not to think too much about it. In truth, she wanted to forget about it all. Being locked up like that, whether she'd realized how long it had been or not, had been damaging in many ways.

"All these years, you've been here, _alive."_

"Is—Is that—Is that why you did this? Why you wanted magic, for revenge?"

She could tell by the look in his eyes, that that was what he was thinking about. A part of her felt foolish, she should have realized, but she always tried to see the best in him, believing in her heart that there _was_ good in him. She wasn't necessarily wrong, but his good was buried deep and always beaten out by the bad in him.

"No, no," he answered truthfully, in fact. That hadn't been his primary reason for bringing magic back. "But it might come in handy."

"No. _No_ ," Belle fired back firmly, shaking her head at him. She didn't want him to go after Regina no matter what she had done to her. To her, revenge was never the answer and she wished him to see it her way as well.

"I cannot let this stand, Belle. I _will not_ let this stand," he shouted.

She involuntarily jumped a little at his raised voice, but she refused to back down in fear of him. He had never scared her before and she wasn't about to let what happened to her make her fear him now. She'd always wanted to be brave and she was going to be just that.

"Look," she said calmly, grabbing his hand in her own, "promise me. Promise me you won't give in to your hate. Promise me you won't kill her," she demanded.

Gold looked off to the side, biting the inside of his lip. He was immensely conflicted. In his eyes, what Regina had done was unforgivable and she needed to pay the price for it. Yet on the other hand, after just getting Belle back, finally, he didn't want to do anything to make her leave.

"Promise me…and we can be together," Belle said, sensing his hesitation.

And that was what made him cave.

"Oh," he said, softly, voice thick with emotion and he reached out to caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Sweetheart, I promise."

She smiled sweetly at him, glad that she had been able to get through to him. Of course, she didn't know that already his mind was working on a way around the deal he had just made. Again, that bad part of him would always win out over the good.

And then he leaned in and kissed her, her kissing him back before she wrapped her arms around him tightly. The way she had smiled after kissing him made that guilt surge up inside him once more. Not only due to the fact that he was already planning on breaking his promise to her, but that guilt had caused other guilty feelings to spring up again.

His guilt about what he had done to Emma was starting to come back. And it was growing worse by the second, especially now that Belle was back. After everything he had said to Emma and how he knew her to have feelings for him, feelings he shared, he felt guilty about being with Belle. He knew they, of course, weren't together, but even kissing Belle just then had made him feel wrong.

But he fought of those thoughts by repeating to himself in his head that she wouldn't want anything to do with him anyway. Now that she knew who he was, she'd want nothing to do with him. It didn't matter to him what she had told him to the contrary, he didn't believe her, and if he told himself that enough, he felt less bad about being with Belle. Besides, he would have felt worse if he left Belle alone after she'd spent twenty-eight years locked up alone.

And he stood there with Belle for a moment longer before he left, taking her with him. He needed to get back to his shop. There was a medallion there that he needed. _He_ couldn't kill Regina, but that didn't technically mean he couldn't send something after her to kill her. But he needed to collect and prepare a few things before he could do that.

Meanwhile, Emma and the others had locked Regina up for her protection after stopping the mob from killing her. And now that that obstacle had been dealt with, she was getting more of those looks from Mary Margaret. It was obvious she wanted to talk, but that was about the last thing she wanted to do at the moment. She wanted to find Gold and give him a piece of her mind, which mainly just consisted of her wanting to punch his lights out.

"You guys ready?" Emma asked.

"We need to talk," Mary Margaret all but shouted in her hurry to voice her desire to talk about everything, despite knowing Emma didn't want to.

"I—Well, I don't—I just—I don't wanna talk."

"Well, I do, okay," Mary Margaret fired back, having expected that answer. "Gold can wait. I can't."

Emma didn't agree with that and thought Mary Margaret was being a little selfish. After all, she knew what Gold did to her and how much it must be affecting her. As far as Emma was concerned, until she gave Gold what he had coming to him, everything in the world could wait a little bit longer. She's almost lost her son because of him.

"And you're my daughter, and…I want to talk to you. I know that we _have_ talked, but we didn't know that we were talking, and we talked about things we probably shouldn't have even talked about—one night stands and the like."

"One-night stands?" David chimed in.

"Whale," Mary Margaret answered offhandedly waving him off.

" _Whale?"_

Emma was just glad Mary Margaret hadn't chosen then to bring up her and Gold.

"We were cursed. That is neither here nor there. The point is we did not know that we were mother and daughter, and now we do, and so…Please, let's talk."

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"We're together finally…and I can't help but think that you're not happy about it."

"Oh, I am, but…see…" She sighed heavily. "Here's the thing. No matter what the circumstances, for twenty-eight years, I only knew one thing—That my parents sent me away," Emma explained.

"We did that so that you could have your best chance."

"You did it for everyone because that's who you are—leaders, heroes, princes and princesses, and that's great and—and amazing and…" she sighed again. "Wonderful, but it doesn't change the fact that for _my_ entire life I've been alone."

For a moment Mary Margaret looked taken aback, not sure how to respond to that. But then a thought came to her. "But if we hadn't done that you would have been cursed, too."

"But we would've been together," Emma countered. "Which curse is worse?"

This time Mary Margaret really didn't have anything to say in response. She supposed that was true. Honestly, she hadn't really given that much thought. Though to be fair, she was originally meant to have gone through the wardrobe with Emma but it only had enough magic for one person.

"Come on. Let's—Let's go find Gold."

And it was the mention of Gold again and the look in Emma's eyes that brought back coherent thoughts and words to Mary Margaret.

"—Maybe we can do that…" she trailed off, gesturing between herself and David. David just raised a brow curiously, not opposed to the idea, but not sure why Emma couldn't join.

"Oh, no. I want to see him."

"Emma—"

"No. After the shit he just pulled, no way. I'm going to talk to him myself," and she stormed off before Mary Margaret could offer up any more words of protest. Again, David just looked confused. Clearly he was missing something.

Mary Margaret just shook her head at him, again sending him a look that she would explain later. Then she took off after Emma who was heading towards Gold's shop. David shrugged absently and followed Mary Margaret. He was definitely missing something.

When they reached Gold's shop, Emma turned and rounded on David and Mary Margaret.

"Give me two minutes alone with him," she demanded, holding up her hands to stop them from moving forward any more.

"Emma I really—"

"Two minutes. Then you can come in."

Mary Margaret nodded though she wasn't happy about it. She knew Emma was really mad, and not without reason, but she had to admit she feared just what she might to do Mr. Gold. That's not to say that he didn't deserve whatever Emma had in mind for him, but still.

Emma nodded her thanks and turned back around and entered Gold's shop. Same as it had done the dozens of times she'd gone into his shop, the little bell above the door signaled her arrival as she stormed in with more purpose she'd ever had when walking through that door. And she mad a B-line for Gold who was standing at the back counter and who had turned at the sound of her arrival.

"Ms. Swan," he said, nonchalantly as though she were just there for some quaint little chat. All that did was fuel her anger even more. And she was less than a foot away from him by the time he'd finished his greeting.

At the look in her eyes, he immediately regretted everything. It had been instinct to greet her that way, especially after just having talked to Regina. It was hard to switch that demeanor on and off at the drop of a hat sometimes. That and the fact that Belle was in the back room and was likely listening in had held him back from acting any different.

"Fuck you," she snarled as she spotted the nonchalant grin he was sporting. And the next second her hand had rushed out, fist clenched, and connected with the side of his jaw. It had hurt like a bitch (his jaw was hard) but it had been more than worth it as he clearly hadn't been expecting it. She thought that was pretty stupid of him.

As he fell back into the counter, he felt it was pretty stupid of him to not have expected it either. But truthfully, he hadn't thought she would actually hit him. And he had tried to catch himself on the counter but missed entirely. Instead his hand had hit one of his many antique globes, sending it crashing to the floor where it shattered and he fell hard against the display case. He could hear the glass crack as he hit it before he fell to the ground, looking up at her in shock.

Outside, Mary Margaret and David had started at the sound of breaking glass and rushed into the shop. Neither of them was prepared for the sight that greeted them. Gold was sprawled out on the ground looking more disheveled than either of them had ever seen him, and that included how they'd seen him in the Enchanted Forest. And Emma was pacing around next to him rubbing the knuckles of her hand and glaring at him.


	20. Chapter 20

"Emma!" Mary Margaret shouted in shock and rushed over to her, David on her heels still looking confused but ready for action. Her hands were outstretched towards Emma, prepared to pull her away from Gold if necessary.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine. I feel better now," Emma said, moving out of Mary Margaret's reach, holding her hands up in surrender.

Gold was still on the floor, just now starting to stir and try to stand back up. Purely on instinct, David moved to help him off the floor. Given he had no idea what exactly was going on here or why Emma had hit him, he didn't think it would be a big deal to assist him. The look he got from Emma, however, sang a different tune.

"Don't you help him."

David froze mid-step, casting a sidelong glance at Mary Margaret, who gave the tiniest shrug of her shoulders indicating she didn't know what he should do either. Though her face was clearly saying it was probably a good idea if he left the older man on the floor.

All the while, Gold was becoming increasingly frustrated with both being a disheveled heap on the floor of his own shop, and at the fact that the three of them were all standing around talking about him as though he weren't even there. Though the fact that he knew he had deserved that kept him quiet, and with a few groans and huffs in annoyance and quite a bit of strain on his leg, he finally stood back up.

"Emma—"

" _Don't. You. Dare."_

"Let me _explain—"_

"Oh I will, because you bet your ass you're going to explain to me why you double crossed me and put _my_ son's _life_ on the line-"

"But he lived did he not?"

"That's not the point! You almost _killed_ my son."

"I _saved_ your son—"

"NO! _I_ did. _I_ saved him after you ran off with that potion and left him to die. If this is how you treat kids, it's no wonder you lost your own."

Gold's blood ran cold at her words, face going pale. That was a low blow even for her. It was true, of course, but he'd never have thought she would sink so low no matter what he had done to her. Perhaps he thought her more resilient than she was, an oversight he regretted immensely. He should have known she could only be so strong. But what he'd done to her was more than anyone should rightly be able to handle.

"Emma—" Mary Margaret said in shock once more with the tone of a mother chastising her child for saying something inappropriate. Strange how quickly her motherly instincts kicked in.

David continued to stand by and watch everything unfold not having a clue what the hell was going on. There was so much he didn't understand. He knew at least partially why Emma was so mad at Mr. Gold, but even he could tell there was something that he was missing, something Mary Margaret knew by the looks of it. And the fact that Mr. Gold apparently had a kid…or _did_ have one was news to him as well.

"Wait, what is going on here-?" David finally chimed in.

"Nothing," Emma and Mary Margaret replied in unison. His continued look of confusion prompted Mary Margaret elaborate.

"I'll tell you later," she whispered, eyeing Gold out of the corner of her eye.

Throughout the whole exchange Emma's eyes hadn't left Gold's and she was glaring daggers at him. And the longer she did the angrier _he_ got. At first he had been shocked at her gall to say what she had but then it started to piss him off.

This was all just as much her fault as it was his. _She_ had come to him that night, _she_ had started all this. He had told her…too late, of course, that it was not a good idea and that it shouldn't have happened because he _knew_ this day would come and just as predicted she hated him now that she knew the truth and knew just what he was.

His eyes hardened and he began to glare back at her. Two could play that game. Of course to her, it wasn't a game, not anymore. But that made no difference to him. He had tried to explain to her before in his own way before she believed and she had written him off but she didn't listen. That was her own fault.

Mary Margaret, noticing the way Gold and Emma were looking at one another knew that if she didn't step in and say something and break whatever trance they were both in that it wouldn't end well. And awkwardly, she cleared her throat in a poor attempt to lessen some of the tension in the room. Her efforts were fruitless, of course.

"Look, just-what was that purple haze," she broke in, trying to distract Emma and Gold knowing that their little staring contest could have gone on for quite some time if she didn't.

"Magic."

"Why?" She fired back, head tilted to the side, genuinely curious.

"Not telling."

His lip was curled in somewhat of a snarl now that he'd let his anger to the surface. Though admittedly he was thankful for the distraction because he knew how stubborn he was and he knew how stubborn Emma was and he was aware that had they gone on glaring at one another there was every likelihood one of them would have said or done something else they regretted. It didn't relieve his anger entirely but it certainly held it back for the time being.

But before Mary Margaret could continue questioning him, there was a strange roar from outside the shop and the whole building shook. Outside, she could hear car alarms start to go off and the lights around them began to flicker.

"What the hell was that?" Emma asked to no one in particular, turning towards the door her angry trance momentarily forgotten.

"That is my gift to you." Gold was speaking to the group at large, but his tone was slightly sarcastic. With his anger building he was beginning to wonder if he should have let Regina be and leave _them_ to deal with her. But at the same time, he had his own reasons for wanting Regina gone and he wanted the satisfaction of causing her demise even if not entirely at his own hand. " _That_ is going to take care of Regina."

Once more the building shook, lights continuing to flicker as transformers just outside the shop blew. Mary Margaret and David stood together at the door hand in hand trying to see just what was going on outside.

"Emma, come on," Mary Margaret ordered, still looking out the window as David took a few steps away from the door and towards Emma.

"We need to go take care of this," he said, eyeing Emma and Gold curiously, both who had gone back to glaring at one another.

"We're not done," she whispered to Gold dangerously, shaking her head at him just slightly.

"Oh I know, you still owe me a favor," he nearly growled back at her.

A terse smile was all she offered him in return before she turned her back on him. She actually would have loved the opportunity to stick around and question him more, ask him just _why_ he had done what he had…and possibly hit him again, but she was far too angry right then. She knew that if she talked to him now she wouldn't really listen. If she really wanted answers from him, she'd have to let herself calm down some, but that was going to have to wait apparently, at least until they took care of whatever the hell was out there.

He watched her go his anger turning into smug satisfaction knowing that despite her anger she still needed him. And for a moment he even forgot that there Belle had been in his back room that entire time. As he turned to pick up the fallen globe and see if it could be salvaged, she stepped out from the back.

Immediately that smug angry look on his face faded away as he tried to look as normal as possible wondering just how much she had heard. But he didn't have to wonder for long, the look on her face said it all.

"Hey…"

"You lied to me."

It wasn't a question, but a statement. She had heard it all. Some of it was confusing, of course, with her not knowing who 'Emma' was, only that she was angry with Rumpel. That was a feeling she could relate to at the moment, though what she felt was more disappointment than anger.

"No, no, I kept my word," he replied quickly as though he'd had this all prepared. It was likely that he did, in fact. " _I_ would not kill her."

She shook her head sadly. Belle didn't know what was worse, the fact that he had gone back on his word already, that his excuse fell so quickly and easily from his lips, or that he believed finding a loophole in their agreement made any of this any better. When it came right down to it though, he had done exactly what she had hoped he wouldn't.

"You toy with words like you do people. You're still a man who makes wrong choices."

At her words, at least he had the good graces to look ashamed of himself. And he tore his eyes away from her, unable to look her in the eyes and see her disappointment.

"I thought you'd changed."

"What, in the hour you've known me?" He fired back, immediately regretting the slip of his tongue. Between her and Emma, his anger and frustration at himself, at Emma and even at Belle herself, it was too difficult to hold back his first thoughts.

Belle reeled back slightly as if he had struck her, his words cutting her deep. He had always been so closed off with her back in the Enchanted Forest. If she didn't truly know him, that was his own fault, not hers. She had tried to, desperately because she cared about him…and even _loved_ him and she'd been foolish enough to think he loved her too.

And before she let him see her cry and see just how much his words had hurt her, with a sniffle she stormed out of his shop, not even caring as he called after shouting his apologies. She didn't believe a word of them. Who was to say that his apologies weren't just more lies? With a final huff at him saying he was sorry, she slammed the door behind her.

Meanwhile, Emma, Mary Margaret and David were on their way back to the police station before whatever it was that Gold had planned for Regina could happen. She might not like Regina, but she wasn't about to let her die either. That was still Henry's mom. And she stomped her way down the street, Mary Margaret and David on her heels.

Mary Margaret kept looking shiftily at Emma, biting her bottom lip nervously and shooting sidelong glances at David. He still had no idea what was going on or why his wife and daughter were acting so weird and he decided it was time for an explanation. Clearly there was more going on than he was aware of and he wanted to know what it was so he stopped abruptly.

"Wait," he called after Emma who stopped and whirled around to face him, a still furious look in her eyes. "I need to know what is going on here."

"We're going to save Regina from whatever the hell Gold sent after her."

"That's not what I meant."

Once more Mary Margaret's eyes flickered back and forth between David and Emma almost a little frightened, possibly expecting to blow up, given what she knew.

"Then what?"

"You and Gold. There's something more going on here. Whatever the hell was going on back there was about more than just him going behind your back and stealing that potion."

"I can't just be pissed at him for almost _killing_ my kid?"

"No, you can, but that's not all there is to it, I can tell. _What happened?_ "

"Nothing," she said again, huffing and turning around again intent to continue towards the station.

David reached out and grabbed her lightly by the elbow, halting her attempts to leave the conversation.

"Look, I'm not an idiot, something else is going on here and I wanna know what it is? I don't blame you for being mad at him, not at all, but I need to know the whole story."

"I don't want to talk about it, especially not with you," she retorted.

David did his best to not look offended, but he could tell by the way Emma sighed and he shoulders relaxed that his attempts had failed.

"Look, it's not—I just—" She took a deep steadying breath. "It's kind of a long story and Regina—"

"Regina can wait. Give me the short version."

"It's not that I—Okay, this is not easy to explain—"

"They slept together," Mary Margaret blurted out, then realizing what she did, clasped her hands over her mouth. She hadn't actually meant to say that out loud, but time really was of the essence and this at least informed David what was going on and saved Emma the embarrassment of actually having to say it out loud to her father.

" _What?!"_

Emma looked down and away, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Look I don't want to talk about it, okay? Can we please just go get this over with?"

"Wait, you _slept_ with Gold…you mean…?"

"Is there another meaning it could be?"

There was a long pause and David said nothing.

"Exactly. So there, now you know. Can we just drop it for now and get on with it?"

"I—" He blinked and looked at Mary Margaret who was staring pointedly at the ground as though she found something down there completely fascinating. "Fine, yeah…let's, uh, let's go."

"Right. Good." And she turned around once more, storming off again towards the police station, Mary Margret and David following silently.

When they got to the station, it was just in time. Whatever it was that Gold had sent after Regina was attacking her. David was the first to spring into action, shouting at it while grabbing a chair to try and fend it off.

The thing rounded on him immediately, forgetting Regina for the moment and striking David, sending him and the chair flying. Emma ducked behind one of the spare desks and Mary Margaret ran off to the side ducking off into one of the storeroom. And with the three of them out of the way once more, the creature turned once more to Regina.

A moment later, Mary Margaret came back out with a lighter and a spray canister in her hand. Emma peeked out over the desk and watched as she drew the things attention, lighting the lighter and spraying the canister in the direction of whatever it was exactly, Emma didn't know.

And whatever Mary Margaret had was apparently highly flammable because a giant burst of flames sprouted when it hit the small flame from the lighter as she aimed it at the creature. She hit her target dead on and within seconds the thing was fleeing, shattering one of the station windows as it went.

Slowly, Emma stood up from behind the desk and upon hearing Regina cough and sputter, rushed over to her..

"What the hell was that thing?" She asked, helping Regina stand back up.

"A wraith," she chocked out weakly. "A soul sucker."

"Did I-?" Mary Margaret began to ask.

"Kill it? No. It's regenerating. It'll be back. It doesn't stop until it devours its prey, _me._ "

She held up her hand for the three of them to see where she had been branded by Gold, targeting her for the wraith.

"So how _do_ we kill it?" Emma asked.

"There's no way. You can't kill something that's already dead."

"Then we have a problem," Emma replied, hands on her hips and brows furrowed as she tried to think of something that they could do.

"No, we don't," David chimed in, glaring at Regina. "Regina does."

Regina's head whipped up to look at him, brows furrowed in surprise and possibly a touch of fear.

"What?"

Emma, too, turned to look at him, not sure she understood him…or well, hoping she wasn't right in what she thought he meant.

"You wanna let her die?"

"Why not? That thing goes away and we're safe."

"That's quite the example you're setting for your daughter," Regina fired back with a snarl.

"No, you don't get to judge us," he said, stepping towards her and pointing his finger at her in anger. After all she had done to their family, why shouldn't they let the wraith kill her. She would if the roles were reversed.

"Let me ask you something, where do you think that thing came from?" Regina asked angrily. Whether it was a serious question or a way to stall, Emma wasn't sure, but she definitely wanted to know the answer.

"Gold," she said, answering her own question.

_We already_ know _that_ , Emma thought to herself.

David still didn't look convinced, but Emma knew they couldn't just let that thing kill Regina, so she spoke up.

"I made a promise to Henry. She's not dying."

Her words were stated plainly and firmly. It wasn't up for debate. Whatever Regina had done in the past, she didn't deserve to die like this and even if she thought she did, she had made a promise to Henry and she wasn't going to break it.

Regina looked at her in surprise, not really believing that Emma wouldn't also want her dead. But then again, Emma wasn't like Regina. Snow, too, looked at her, but her expression was one of fondness and pride in her daughter. It appeared that even without her influence all her life, he daughter had turned out something like her anyway.

"If it can't be killed, what do you suggest?" Mary Margaret asked, going along with the plan of _not_ letting it kill Regina. They had to do something about it, Emma was right.

"Send it somewhere it can't hurt anyone."


	21. Chapter 21

Emma had absolutely no idea what that meant and from the looks on Mary Margaret and David's faces, they didn't either. But the tone in Regina's voice suggested she had a clear plan in mind. And it wasn't as if they really had other options. They would just have to trust that Regina knew what she was doing.

Typical of Regina, she didn't clue them in to her plan at all. A simple, curt demand was given for them to follow her back to her office before she walked right past them, intent on leaving the station. Emma had cast a furtive glance at Mary Margaret and David who shrugged at her in return, expressions as confused as Emma's. And with a roll of her eyes, she followed after the Mayor, her parents following behind her shortly after.

By the time Emma had caught up to Regina, she was just opening the door to her office. She still said nothing to them about what they were doing, just went on her way. Again, she others followed after her coming to a stop at the large table where Regina had just placed a decent sized rust colored box. Mary Margaret and David had apparently lagged behind a little bit.

Emma had no idea what the hell was in it but she didn't get to ask before Regina was speaking to her again.

"Did Henry really ask you to protect me?"

Emma could tell that the question was something she desperately wanted to know the answer to, but also had clearly been hesitant to ask. Maybe that partially explained her silence until this point. She might not yet see just what good Henry saw in Regina, but he'd been right about who she, Emma, was and what she was capable of, she supposed for now she could give Regina the benefit of the doubt and trust Henry's instincts.

"Yes." She said it firmly and truthfully, the corner of her mouth twitching upward just slightly in a show of good faith.

Regina didn't say anything in return. But she didn't need to. Even without the momentary brief smile that had appeared on the brunette's face, Emma could tell her words had actually comforted Regina. Normally she wouldn't care much about Regina's comfort after everything she'd put her and Henry through, but right now she didn't have a choice. And right now, she was a hell of a lot higher up on her list of people to trust and please than Gold was. That was for damn sure.

However, any sense of wanting to cooperate or please anyone left immediately the moment Regina pulled out a large top hat from that weird box. She recognized it right away and her stomach dropped instantly and she felt like she was going to be sick.

"The hat…you had it all along."

Not only was she starting to feel sick to her stomach, memories of the last time she'd seen a hat like that rushing to the forefront of her consciousness, but there was a fire burning inside her as well.

If Regina had had that hat the whole damn time, then everything she went through at Jefferson's mansion had been for nothing. It had been for nothing in the first place; she couldn't make a goddamn magical portal-jumping hat. But here the whole time, the one Jefferson had been looking for was sitting in the goddamn Mayor's office.

"What do you mean?"

"That's Jefferson's hat—"

Emma spoke in barely a whisper, her mind racing too much for her to even look back at Regina or really focus on what was going on right around her. All she could think about was if Jefferson had known, had gone to Regina first, had been spying on _her_ instead, maybe he would have known where to find his hat the whole time. He might never have come after and…and she might never have lost her baby. _Their_ baby.

Even as angry as she was at Gold, she'd remembered him that night when he found out. He had been as crushed as she was, maybe even more as bad as that may sound. She couldn't, even in her head, deny that her baby had been just as much his as hers.

"Who's Jefferson…?"

Mind still muddled, she wasn't really paying attention to Regina, wasn't really looking to see if she was lying or not. Her focus was entirely elsewhere. She wondered if Gold had known about the hat. Did he know Jefferson too? There were so many more questions in her mind now that she'd sent that hat. But she was at least aware that Regina had asked her a question. Luckily she was saved from having to answer it (not that she would have truthfully anyway) when the door of Regina's office opened again and Mary Margaret and David stepped through.

It was then that she discovered the little detour they had obviously taken to not walk in right behind her. The two of them had walked in with a few old broomsticks, David declaring as he walked through the door that he planned to use them as torches. Emma hadn't ever really been known to use brooms very often but she sure as hell knew they weren't supposed to be used as torches. Of course, she couldn't deny that they'd certainly do the trick.

Hand gripping one of the broomsticks, poised in a battle stance, Mary Margaret had this fiercely determined look in her eye Emma could only remember having seen once, back at Jefferson's mansion. She leveled that determined look right at Regina, it wasn't directed at her exactly, not that determination in fight in her, just looking at her for directions.

"So, how does it work?"

"Follow me and I'll show you."

And then she led them back down stairs into a room Emma recognized immediately. She'd been in enough courtrooms in her days to recognize one when she saw one.

"It will open a portal to our land," Regina proclaimed as she led the three of them in. "All we have to do is send the wraith in there."

"Oh yeah, just that," David chimed in sarcastically as he set the broomsticks down on one of the tables inside.

"I don't understand, I thought our land was gone—" Mary Margaret said, stepping around to watch Regina fiddle with the hat on the floor.

"It is. But sending it to a place that no longer exists…well, that's banishing it to oblivion."

It was as if the wraith could sense that it was about to be sent away for good. As soon as those words left Regina's mouth, it got darker, the power in the next room over going out. The lights were flickering and the door to the courtroom was knocking back and forth with the wind the creature seemed to carry with it wherever it went.

David lit up the torches, distributing them to both Emma and Mary Margaret. With hers in hand, eyes trained on the door, waiting for the wraith to come through, she spoke to Regina, a hint of fear and apprehension leaking into her tone, urging her to hurry up and get the hat working.

"Regina…"

"I'm trying." The frustration in her voice was clear. It wasn't working. It should have worked already. She spun it around again, willing it to work this time.

Still, it didn't work. And her attention was momentarily taken away from the task at hand as she heard the wail of the wraith. Stopping her attempts, she looked up, fear evident in her features knowing that if she couldn't get the hat to work, her life was on the line.

Then the doors to the courtroom burst open, another loud wail from the wraith ringing out, the sound deafening. Wind blew in snuffing out the fires at the ends of their broomsticks. Yet there was no sign of the wraith just yet. Quickly they relit their torches and then the beast was upon them, wailing once again.

Regina continued to spin the hat in vain, while David, wielding his makeshift torch, held of the wraith, giving her more time to work. Meanwhile Mary Margaret grabbed a bottle of whiskey from her bag, pouring the alcohol on the small wooden gate that separated one side of the courtroom from the other. Emma didn't have to ask to know she planned to set it ablaze, creating a barrier between them and the wraith. Once she had it covered, she called to David to light it up, which he did right away, making sure to tell Regina to hurry. They didn't have a whole lot of time. A small-lit broomstick wouldn't keep the beast at bay forever.

Again, Regina spun the hat, and again, it did nothing.

"It's not working!" Still there was that noticeable frustration in her voice.

Emma bent down closer to Regina so that she could hear. "What's the problem?"

"Magic…it's different here."

Once again, Emma bent down, closer this time intent on trying to help Regina figure it out. She placed her hand on the other woman's shoulder and that's when it happened. The moment she had touched Regina, a purple smoke began to emanate from the hat itself, spiraling out of it as the hat began to spin.

Regina turned in confusion to Emma, but she had nothing to say. She was just as confused as Regina was. Emma wasn't willing to believe that it had anything to do with her. Always in denial in that respect. It had just been a coincidence.

But they didn't have time to figure out what had just happened; all that mattered was that they had gotten it to work. And in perfect time too as the wraith just then knocked David out of the way, determined to get it's prey. It was heading straight for Regina and Emma had just barely heard David shout that it was coming towards them. Regina, however, hadn't noticed, she was still standing directly in the wraith's path.

Acting quickly and on impulse, her son's wish to keep Regina safe and protected the only thing she was thinking about, she lunged forward to push Regina out of the way and to safety. The only problem was that her move put _her_ in the path of the wraith. In it's sweep toward Regina it had gotten caught in the whirlwind of the hat, being sucked in, but in a desperate attempt to save itself had managed to grab hold of Emma's ankle, pulling her along with it.

Mary Margaret had tried in vain to grab Emma back, but it was already too late. Emma and the wraith had already begun their descent into the hat. Both David and Mary Margaret screamed out, angry and fearful of their daughter's fate.

"I'm not losing her again!" Mary Margaret screamed and jumped into the portal after her.

David proclaimed the same as he jumped up from the floor, hurrying towards the hat. He hopped quickly over the small gate, but he wasn't quick enough. The portal was already closing, as he was right above it in midair. And instead of going through the portal after his wife and daughter, he fell crashing to the floor on top of it.

After the initial shock had passed, David had gotten up from the floor, fury in his eyes and he rounded on Regina demanding an explanation as to what had happened to his family. But she didn't know. They'd gone through the portal to their land and even she had no idea what sort of state it was in. She knew it still existed; she'd lied about that bit. But she didn't have a clue what they would find there. All she knew was that with the wraith gone, she was safe. That's all that mattered to her.

Across town, Gold was in the backroom of his shop, where he usually was. His mind was churning with regret, about several things: what he'd done to Emma, what he'd said to Belle. So he'd gone to do the only thing he thought would help, _spin_. Belle had once asked him why he did it. 'To forget' he'd told her. And that's just what he had wanted to do, forget. He wanted to forget what he'd done, forget the guilt and regret he felt. It was his way of coping.

He'd been so engrossed, so focused on spinning that he hadn't even noticed the bell ring out, alerting him to someone's presence. It wasn't until her hear someone clear their throat that he knew anyone was there. When he turned to find Belle, he was shocked. He wouldn't have thought she would be back so soon.

"Hi…" Belle said, stepping through the curtain that separated the front room from the back one.

"Hey—" he returned somewhat lamely. He was still shocked to see her.

"I uh—I went for a long walk."

"I thought you didn't want to me see."

"I didn't. But I—I was worried," she replied with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, the beast is gone and Regina…lives."

He'd misinterpreted her worry entirely. If she'd been worried about Regina, _that_ _'_ _s_ who she would have been talking about. She was worried about him. She always worried about him. He wasn't ever going to worry about himself and someone ought to do it.

"So uh…you didn't get what you wanted."

"Well that remains to be seen," he said smoothly, just the smallest hint of a smile on his lips as he looked back at her. What he wanted was Belle. That he wanted more than revenge on Regina. Or at least he didn't want to trade one for the other.

Belle opened her mouth, about to respond but closed it quickly as she noticed something off to the side of Rumpel on the small end table next to him. A small, amused smile curled her lips and a soft little chuckle let her. It was her cup. Her chipped cup. She still remembered it from her time in his castle. She moved around him where he sat, picking it up before moving back in front of him again.

"You still have it," she said in awe, another small chuckle escaping her. "My chipped cup."

He smiled sweetly back up at her, nodding his head. Memories were flooding back to him of their time together and his time without her thinking that she was dead. Gods he had missed her. It had killed him thinking he had in any way been responsible for her death.

Chewing on his bottom lip and blinking back tears at the thought, he stood, taking the small cup from her and began to speak.

"There are many, many things in this shop, but this—This is the only thing I truly cherish."

The sound that escaped Belle at his words was somewhere between a relieved sigh and a near sob. Emotion was filling her just as it was him, recalling the time they had spent together and remembering just how much she loved and cared about him. Which was why his next words came as a shock.

"And now you must leave."

She blinked at him in confusion, not at all expecting him to say anything like that.

"Wh-what?"

"Because despite what you hope…I'm still a monster."

He looked back at her in earnest, imploring her to see the truth in his words and to not take them lightly. She only knew part of his misdeeds. If she knew everything else…she would know. But that, _that_ he didn't have it in his heart to tell her. He wanted her to understand he was not a good man, but he still couldn't bring himself to tell her anything about Emma.

At his words, however she did not look sad, she did not back away. Instead, she smiled at him, that brilliant wide smile of hers. And she placed her hands on his shoulders, looking him right in the eyes as she spoke.

"Don't you see? That's exactly the reason I have to stay."

His brows furrowed, mouth hanging open slightly as he looked away. The meaning of her words eluded him. In his mind he was sure he was interpreting them differently. That she intended to somehow make him not a monster, which was precisely what he _didn_ _'_ _t_ want her to think. He didn't want her to think he could change. He couldn't. He knew that above anything else. He was not a changeable man.

But he didn't say anything to her. He should have, _could_ have. But he didn't. Because deep down, he didn't want her to go. Not really. Some part of him, despite knowing it wasn't possible, _wanted_ to change, _wanted_ to be the man she saw in him. It hadn't worked before and there was no reason it should this time, but she looked at him so hopefully, so _happily_ , that he couldn't turn her away or go on further trying to convince her he was a monster.

Over the next few days, things went relatively back to normal. Or as normal as they could in Storybrooke. Gold lied low after what had happened, not really keen on having a town full of people demanding he help them fix their homes or cars or anything else that had found itself in the way of the wraith while it had been in town.

Though it was hardly even necessary for him to do so. Most people in town were too busy just cleaning up the mess to bother with blaming him for any of it. That, and trying to find their loved ones. Now that everyone remembered who they were, many of them were trying to get back together with those they had been separated from during the curse.

The fairies, David and a few others had set up camp in front of the Town Hall. They were giving relief to those who'd been directly affected by the destruction the wraith had wrought. There was water and other living necessities for people to take and help them get themselves sorted until they could repair their homes or anything else.

So with all that chaos going on, he didn't have to worry about that. No one bothered. Well, _almost_ no one. Despite Emma being gone, there were still some people in town who weren't too afraid of him to seek him out in his shop. It was no surprise that Regina was the first to do so.

Of course, by the way she was rummaging around in his shop, he suspected her visit had less to do with him and more to do with something she hoped to find there instead.

"The library's beneath the clock tower," he said, finally alerting Regina to his presence. She'd been so busy snooping she hadn't even heard the sound of his cane as he came out of the backroom of his shop. "You closed it remember? When you still had power." A sneer curled his lips as he spoke and she returned it with a glare.

"I need the book—" she said, not even bothering to hide her desperation. "I need to get my son back."

"Which book?" He asked instinctively, though the answer came to him right after he'd spoken the words and he laughed. He was truly amused at this point.

"Ah, so it's come down to that, eh? You need your mummy's help."

This was far too enjoyable for him. She may have been saved from his revenge with the wraith, but no one could stop him from enjoying this moment, taunting her and keeping her from what she wanted as she had done to everyone else for twenty-eight years.

Regina walked over to him, glare settling in permanently on her features. "Give me the book."

"Do you really need the smell of the written word to get the magic flowing again, love?" And there went his signature smirk. "Maybe if you relaxed it would just _happen_ ," he advised, ever the teacher he was to her.

"I don't have _time_. It worked once; I know I can do it. I just—I just need a shortcut back," she pled again.

"Yeah, well I don't have time either," he sneered. "Leave. _Please_."

There was a snarl on his lips as he commanded her to leave, knowing that with the deal they had made, she wouldn't be able to disobey him. She had to do anything he asked so long as he said please. What he failed to take into account was that there was no longer a curse. That deal was broken.

Regina recoiled slightly, bracing herself for having to obey his command. But nothing came. That feeling that would overcome her when he used that word before never came. A wide grin took residence upon her face. She didn't have to listen to him anymore.

"Wow, how about that? Your pleases have lost their punch."

His lip twitched in irritation. He should have seen that coming, should have known that wouldn't work anymore.

_Damn it._

"Well the fact remains, jumpstarting your magic is not in my best interests."

"You know what else isn't in your best interest?" She spoke with a smug grin, knowing she had an ace up her sleeve. Two even, if the first wasn't enough. "Having everyone know the Enchanted Forest still exists, knowing that you and I are keeping that little secret."

She waited a moment for that to sink in, to gauge his response. If he took that bait, she could save her ace for another day when she _really_ needed it. Though of course, that one she could use over and over again until it came out on it's own, if it ever did. She had a feeling he'd go to the ends of the earth to keep that one a secret.

When he didn't appear to be too phased by that threat of blackmail, her grin grew even smugger as she anticipated his reaction to her next words.

"Oh, and if that's not enough, how would you like it if _Belle_ found out about you and our lovely Sheriff, Ms. Swan?"

She could barely contain her devilish grin as she spoke. It was high time someone could finally make him quake in his finely polished shoes. Normally it was he who pulled the strings in town. Well not anymore. She wasn't going to let him stand in her way of what she wanted now that Emma was already out of her way.

Seeing him balk at her words was enough to satisfy her for years, she was sure of it. She relished in the feeling of being able to pull one over on him like he had done to her so many times over the years. Payback's a bitch.

She laughed lightly at him. "Didn't think I knew about that, did you? You really are slipping Rumpel. Did you really think something like that would slip past me? Oh no, I know about your little… _accident_."

The word had spilled from her lips with an entirely different meaning than the one he had heard. Regina had only meant having slept with Emma at all and getting her pregnant. It hadn't meant to be an allusion to their miscarriage. She may be evil, but even she felt bad about _that_ accident. Nobody deserved that. Not even Gold or Emma.

But it was far too late to correct herself; Gold's free hand had already shot out gripping her roughly by her jaw line. He was leaning in close, teeth barred and nostrils flaring, a clear sign of just how angry he was. She wanted him mad, sure, but she truly hadn't meant to set him off _that_ much. Of course, she also didn't understand his history with losing children. That was something she had never come to know the entire time she had known him.

"You don't get to talk about that," he spat, nails digging into her skin. Her hand came up to grab his in an attempt to pry it away from her, but it was no use. He was a lot stronger than he looked. She tried to speak, to tell him to let go over her, but he only tightened his grip as her mouth opened, effectively cutting her off.

"How do you even know about that?"

"Let— _go_ _—"_ she choked out, still grabbing at his hand, trying to force him away from her.

" _How do you know!?_ _"_

"If you let me go, I'll tell you!"

He took a few deep, ragged breaths, mulling over the decision. With his snarl still in place, he let her go, pulling his hand back away. He was still breathing heavily, his lips thinning as he looked at her.

"How?" He ground out through clenched teeth.

"You might want to be a bit more careful where you have your lovers quarrels, Gold."

Judging by the look on his face and the way he leaned forward just slightly again, she knew he was feeling the desire to grab her again and she held up her hands in surrender.

"A nurse overheard you and Ms. Swan fighting in the hospital when…when Henry was there. I have eyes and ears everywhere, same as you. Something that big happens in my town, I'm going to know about it."

He said nothing but continued to glare at her.

"You know, I never would have thought you were into blondes."

He clenched his fist at his side, the other curling tightly around the head of his cane. She was really asking for it now. If she kept going he'd solve this little problem right now and kill her if he had to. Damn the consequences. He wasn't going to sit here and let her talk to him this was, _taunt_ him about losing a child. She ought to know better, given the position she was in with Henry at the moment. The least she could do was be a little sympathetic.

"I'm only going to warn you once, Regina, keep pushing me and you'll never get what you want. You'll be dead before you have the chance to tell anyone _anything_."

"And then what would Belle think?"

"I don't care."

"Wow, you must really love her."

"Don't— _You_ _—_ _Dare!_ This isn't a game, Regina. I lost a child and you're going to mock me?"

"Like you wouldn't do the same to me."

"You don't know me as well as you think you do, Mayor. I want you out of my shop _. Now._ "

"Not until I get what I came here for."

Another deep, ragged breath filled his chest. Letting it out slowly, he glared at her, but decided it would be best to give her what she wanted. Even with her magic back it wasn't as if he couldn't handle her. And with a wave of his hand, the spell book appeared in it and he handed it over to her.

"Careful, _dearie_ , these are straight up spells, rough on the system." His tone was laced with venom. In truth he wished her no care at all. He couldn't think of one reason not to be happy if something went wrong if she used those spells and something happened to her.

"I don't care if they turn me green; I'm getting my son back." And then she turned to storm back out of his shop.

"Oh my—"

Despite his foul mood, he couldn't help but laugh as she walked away from him, an amusing thought coming to his mind. Well, amusing to him, not likely to her. It was a derisive sort of laugh and he wasn't surprised that she turned to face him again as he spoke.

"What?!"

"It's just holding that," he pointed to the book, "I told you once you didn't look like her. Now, now I can see it."

If she wanted to come into his shop aiming to hit where it hurt, he would return the favor. He knew well of how much she had come to loathe her mother and everything to do with her. He knew it would piss her off to hear him compare her to her in _any_ capacity, even looks.

The offended and hurt gasp that involuntarily passed her lips was just barely enough to satisfy him. But he knew he'd done well with that one. It was hard to match up with what she'd said to him, but it gave him great pleasure knowing she'd be go on the rest of the day thinking she'd turned out just like her mother, the very last person she had _ever_ wanted to be like.


	22. Chapter 22

Of all the strange things Emma had encountered in the Enchanted Forest, the place that was supposed to have been her home all these years, this was by far the strangest. She'd faced ogres, a giant, that damn pirate and yet, this woman, Aurora, having a dream about her son definitely topped the list of strange things.

Emma couldn't fathom how it was even possible. Aurora had never even seen Henry before. Yet when Emma held up the wallet picture of Henry she happened to have with her, Aurora said that was the boy she had seen in her dream.

"That's impossible; it was a dream. How could you dream of my son?" Emma asked as she knelt before Aurora.

"I have no idea. I th—"

But whatever Aurora thought, Emma never got to find out. From behind her, Mary Margaret had piped up, cutting her off.

"Maybe it wasn't a dream…"

Emma whipped around, moving to her feet in one fluid motion to look at Mary Margaret with confusion.

"What?!"

"That room…I've been there."

"When I told you about it you didn't say anything," Aurora recalled.

"You were terrified. I didn't want to make things worse by telling you it might be real."

"A room in a dream is real?" Mulan asked from behind Mary Margaret.

"The sleeping curse," she replied. A look of understanding quickly spread across Mulan's features. "It has to be," Mary Margaret went on. "I went through it, Aurora went through it—"

"Henry went through it because I wouldn't believe him."

"Emma…"

"What else did you lie about?" Aurora chimed in again angrily from behind Emma.

"I was—I wasn't lying. I was protecting you."

"What did he say? Henry. In—In the dream?"

"He just said his name and then I woke up and it was over."

"Emma!" Again, Mary Margaret interjected and Emma turned to face her again. "It's going to be okay."

"We are so far from okay," Emma replied, not seeing the same silver lining she appeared to be seeing.

"No, we have a way home now," she said with a hopeful, cheery voice. She certainly seemed sure of herself and Emma was starting to get frustrated with her.

"We have a compass! And the wardrobe ashes are still with Cora."

"Any attempt to steal from her would be suicide," Mulan chimed again, siding with Emma on this one.

"Not anymore," Mary Margaret replied confidently.

Emma furrowed her brows in confusion. What was she talking about? Where was all of this newfound optimism coming from? She wondered if she had some sort of plan and if she did, Emma hoped she'd get to the point soon because they could really use a good plan right about now.

"We can stop her," she continued.

"How?" Mulan asked.

"I don't know. But I know someone who does," she said again, still with that same hopeful, optimistic tone of voice as she turned to face Emma. And Emma got a sinking feeling in her stomach as she looked at her. She had a good feeling where this was going now. "Rumpelstiltskin."

And there it was. She couldn't believe it. Even in when she was stuck in another land, she had to go to Gold for help. It was never ending. He had a goddamn solution to everything and it seemed it didn't matter where she was, she couldn't escape dealing with him in some way.

"He'll know a way."

For a second Emma wasn't sure how they were going to talk to him when he was back in Storybrooke, but then it hit her.

"Henry…"

Mary Margaret nodded, having come to the same conclusion Emma finally had.

"We can talk to him; now we can communicate."

"Wait…" Aurora said, stepping forward. She, too, had connected the dots and realized they intended to send her back to that fiery room.

"Oh yeah, Princess, you're going back to sleep," Emma said, turning back to her, a look of fierce determination in her eyes. This was it. They actually had a way they could find out how to get back home.

Aurora wasn't entirely thrilled to be going back into that room, but if it helped she would do it. And she did. When she fell asleep, going back to that room, Henry was there just as she had expected him to be and she told him what the others had told her to say. She told him to go to Rumpelstiltskin and get him to tell them how they could defeat Cora so that they could come back home.

* * *

Things in Storybrooke had been nearly as hectic as what the others were facing in the Enchanted Forest. Sure, they weren't facing any ogres or giants but they did have a werewolf to contend with for a while until David helped sort it out. And Gold had to deal with the fiasco of Belle's father trying to send her over the town line.

But unlike in the Enchanted Forest, things had calmed down a lot quicker and things were much easier to deal with in a small town versus a huge forest completely overrun by ogres after twenty-eight years being left to their own devices. So despite the chaos, there was a bit of down time, enough for Gold to take some time out of his day to go to lunch with Belle at the Diner.

In the wake of everything that had been going on, his focus had been quite far from Ms. Swan, admittedly. Other than at least one notable occasion while he was awake, when dealing with Charming, the only time he allowed his mind to wander to thoughts of her was at night. It usually kept him up, the guilt.

He felt guilty about everything. Obviously he felt guilty about what had happened to Henry, and he knew he was quite to blame for her ending up in the Enchanted Forest as well. Had he not summoned the beast to Storyrbooke to kill Regina, they'd never have needed to get rid of it and she wouldn't have fallen through that portal.

But above all else, he felt guilty for being with Belle at all. Unsurprisingly, that didn't stop him from being with her. He loved Belle and he truly wanted to be with her. Though he also loved Emma. He did. But being with Belle was easier. That wasn't his only reason for wanting her, but it was his primary reason for trying to forget about Emma. That never would have worked. And in some moments, like now when he was out with Belle, he could forget about her. If only just a little.

"They smell delicious, Granny," Belle said brightly as the elderly woman placed their meals in front of them.

"They are delicious. Didn't take any dark magic either," she replied, looking pointedly at Gold. He had to strongly resist the urge to roll his eyes at her. "Oh and uh, I charge extra for the pickles."

"Em hm," Gold replied, close-lipped. "I have a complicated relationship with her," he explained to Belle as Granny walked away. "As I do with most people," he said in an attempt at making light of his rather poor reputation.

Whether she thought it was funny or not, Belle chuckled either way. Perhaps it was more laughing at his effort than anything else. "Well, it uh, it did take me a little time to get to know you," she replied, tone just as teasing as his was. "They will."

All he did was smile at her in return. And then change the subject.

"You know, you should try it with ketchup. Condiments are this world's most powerful magic."

She flashed him an amused smile with a small shake of his head. It was that side of him that she wished everyone else would see. Then they would all know why she loved him as much as she did. Though he sadly never chose to show that side to anyone else. Not as far as she knew.

It was then that the door of the diner opened, Regina stepping through. Neither one of them had really been paying attention and didn't bother looking to see who had come in. But of course, their ignorance didn't last long as Regina made her way straight to Gold the second she walked into the diner.

"Gold," she said, approaching his table, "we need to talk."

"Do we?" He said, leaning back in his seat and not even sparing her a glance. Though he had seen her one other time to help Henry, he hadn't spoken to her since that afternoon in his shop when she had blackmailed him, revealing that she knew about him and Emma. Due to that, he wasn't too keen on having another conversation with her.

"Folks I think I may need to close early—Uh, everybody out," Granny announced, motioning towards the door. The idea of the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin having a little spat in her diner was not something she was looking forward to. If they wanted to fight and kill each other, they could do it out on the street, so long as she didn't have to clean up the mess.

"No, it's okay," Regina stated, hands held at her side signaling for everyone to stay put. She just needed to talk to him, she wouldn't even have to say much if he was smart. "We're civil."

"Yeah for now," Gold bit out through clenched teeth. She might be civil but he was still feeling quite murderous in regards to her for a number of reasons. "Belle, you remember the woman who locked you up for twenty-eight years."

Belle looked around nervously for her things. She didn't want to be brought into the middle of any of this. It was no secret that Rumpel was still upset with Regina about all of that, and so was she, but she had no interest in being pulled into this fight. ""I—I should probably just—"

"No, no, please stay where you are. She can say whatever she wants, she won't be getting anything from me."

"Have you forgotten what we talked about, Rumpel?" She asked, a voice full of malicious intent.

Jaw clenched tightly, he turned to her, glaring at her. He knew she would continue to use that against him for as long as she could. All he did was glare at her, he had no words. If he said anything at all it would be threats on her life, and that wasn't something he wanted Belle to hear either.

"That's what I thought. Besides, I'm actually coming about the one thing that might unite us."

"And what on earth can that be?"

Regina leaned down closer to him, knowing all she had to do was say one word and he'd be on her side.

"Cora."

At the mention of that name, his jaw tightened even more. Memories flew to the forefront of his mind of his time with Cora. It had been so long ago, but he hadn't forgotten her. Oh, no. How could he have ever forgotten her of all people. After what she'd done to him. No. He could never forget her. But he'd never thought he'd have to deal with her again. He thought she was gone. For good.

"She's coming from our land; I need your help to stop her."

"She was dead. You told me you saw the body."

"Apparently you taught her well," Regina replied. "She's not, and she's on her way and I don't think I need to remind you how most unpleasant that would be for both of us."

"For you," Gold said, finally turning to look at Regina for the first time since she'd arrived. "I can handle Cora."

"That's not how she tells the story."

"I won in the end."

"Maybe, but there's a big difference this time." Two actually, she added in her head, but she knew he'd understand whether she said it or not. "This time you have someone you care about," she went on, eyes turning to Belle. "This time you have a weakness."

Gold clenched his teeth, chewing on the inside of his lip slightly. He could tell by the way Regina looked at him that she wasn't just talking about keeping Belle. That wasn't his only weakness. His other weakness was that ace up Regina's sleeve. She didn't have to say it out loud for him to know that if he didn't agree, she would tell Belle about Emma. That was the very last thing he wanted, next to having Cora back in his life.

"Wh—Who is this woman?" Belle chimed in again. She'd been silent though confused throughout the entire interaction and she was exceptionally curious as to who this Cora woman was and why both Rumpel and Regina seemed to fear her. Despite the words coming from him, Belle could see in his expression that he did not want this woman in Storybrooke.

"Someone you'll never meet," Rumpel answered with a terse smile. Nobody knew the exact details of his past with Cora and if he didn't want Belle to know about Emma, it was nothing compared to how much he didn't want Belle to know about Cora.

"So you say she's coming." He spoke again to Regina. "Where is she now?"

"With them."

Them?

His head spun around to look at her again, nearly causing a crick in his neck he'd spun so fast.

"Them?"

"Yes, them. Ms. Swan and Mary Margaret."

Things really weren't looking good for him. But his fears of Cora being with Emma had nothing to do with his past with either woman. No, he feared for Emma's life. He wasn't entirely heartless. And while he may be here with Belle, trying to forget about Emma, it wasn't that easy to do. The last fate he wanted her to suffer after everything he'd put her through was having to deal with Cora. There was no telling what Cora might do if she knew who Emma was, which she suspected she'd find out quick enough. She'd always been one step ahead of everyone else.

He sighed heavily, eyes returning to meet Belle's. "I—I'm sorry, Belle, but I have to go. I promise we'll have time again for this later."

Regina rolled her eyes from where she stood beside them, but neither of them were paying enough attention to notice.

"Oh—Okay, sure. Yeah."

Then he stood, leaving his meal untouched to go with Regina. Belle stayed behind to finish her lunch. She'd see him later, and whatever it was exactly that he was off to do, it seemed important. Belle might not know exactly what there was to fear from Cora, but if they were both scared then she didn't mind if they tried to find a way to stop her from coming to Storybrooke.

"So what is I need to do?" Gold asked Regina the minute they were outside of the diner.

"That burning room Henry goes to, there's someone else there, someone from there."

"Mary Margaret?" He guessed, having known she had once been placed under the same sleeping curse that Henry had undertaken.

"No, some other woman. Must have been the girl Maleficent cursed."

"Ah, yes, that one," he said sarcastically. But as it happened he knew who she spoke of.

"So, we're going to send Henry back in to talk to her, and you're going to tell him how to defeat Cora. Once he's in, he'll tell her and she'll tell the others. I'll go get Henry and David and meet you at your shop?"

"Yes, yes, I'll set up somewhere for Henry sleep and prepare a little spell to make sure he falls asleep."

"It won't—not another curse, right?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. Think of it like a sleeping pill, only it acts faster. It won't harm him at all."

"Okay then, we'll see you in a bit."

Then they parted ways. Regina went off to get David and Henry and Gold headed back to his shop. He gathered a pillow and some blankets to lay on the small cot in the back of his shop. Then he just waited for the others to arrive. It wasn't long before Henry was lying down ready to go.

"So, Cora, she's pretty powerful?" Henry asked from the small bed.

"Yes but ah, not as powerful as I am," Gold replied. Regina scoffed as she took off her jacket.

"Debatable."

"Actually, no, it's not."

David stepped forward giving them a somewhat chastising look and they cut off their bickering before it could even really get started. He then moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside Henry.

"You sure you're okay to do this, kid?"

"I was born to do this. I'm done reading about heroes; I wanna be one."

"Well sometimes being one is knowing when not to run into the fire."

"I'll be okay."

"Look," Gold chimed in from behind them, "whatever he faces in there will be far less dangerous than what he'll face if we fail." That wasn't just him trying to cover his own ass either. Cora was a force to be reckoned with, especially if she still didn't have her heart.

"I can do this," Henry spoke up, trying to reassure them all that he could be a hero too.

David nodded down at him before standing and turning back to Gold. "Get on with it. Fast." He was still very anxious to get his family back and keep Cora out of town.

"All right, Henry," Gold said, stepping forward to take a seat next to Henry's bed. "Just relax. Soon, you're gonna drift off."

"What do I tell them?" He asked.

"Just listen to my bedtime story and all will be clear," Gold said, as cryptic as ever.

Then he took his hand and lightly placed it on top of Henry's head.

"Once upon a time, Snow White and Prince Charming needed to stun a very powerful magician long enough to lock him up in the dark dungeon—"

"That was you, they used Cinderella to help trap you with the magic quill," Henry said as Gold ran his hand over Henry's face, hovering barely an inch above his skin. He was putting him to sleep.

"Yes, indeed," Gold went on with his tale, "the quill. And yet, it wasn't the quill itself, but the ink that captured the Dark One, harvested from the rarest species of squid from the bottom of a bottomless ocean, impossible to find unless you're a mermaid. Or me. I happen to have a private supply."

Once more Gold ran his hand over the young boy's face. "In my jail cell. That is where they will find it."

Back in the Enchanted Forest, the other waited while Aurora slept, hoping that their plan would work.

"Hey," Mary Margaret said, walking over to where Emma had wandered off to on her own. She took her daughter's hand in hers in a comforting gesture. "It'll be okay, you'll see Henry again. This'll work."

"We don't know that—"

"Henry can do it, I know he can."

"I'm not worried about Henry. I'm worried about him. If he doesn't tell Henry how to defeat Cora, this plan was for nothing."

"You mean Gold?"

"Who else."

"Oh, Emma. You don't think he wouldn't try to help do you?"

"After everything he's done, why would he help? Why would I put my faith in him to help us?"

"Emma—"

"No, don't give me that look. With me stuck here, he gets off scot-free. He doesn't have to worry about me getting back at him for what he did."

"Well you did punch him already—"

"Right, like that's enough to get my point across."

"Emma, look," she turned more to face her and grabbed up her other hand in hers, looking at her earnestly. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I know you probably won't believe me but—"

"If you're about to tell me—"

"That he cares about you, yeah, that's what I'm going to tell you. Maybe, he really does. I don't know. All I know is what you've told me and what I've seen. He's told you things he's never told anyone before—"

"He was working me over, Mary Margaret. He was using me and manipulating him. That's all it was."

"That may be true, too, but you don't know. I can't believe I'm arguing on his behalf but…you don't know. He could be worried about you. I find it a little hard to believe that after what I saw of him in our apartment that night, that he doesn't care about you at all. But either way, I know he doesn't want Cora in Storybooke either. He can be an idiot, obviously, but he's not that stupid. He knows having Cora around in Storybrooke can't be good. He's going to help, I know he is."

After her miniature speech, she moved one of her hands to cup Emma's cheek, caressing it lightly, like any good mother would do when their child was upset. To Emma's credit, she didn't flinch away from the touch. In fact, she almost sort of welcomed it. She wasn't sure she believed any of what Mary Margaret said about Gold caring about her at all, but she did at least agree with that last bit. If Gold knew anything about Cora, he wouldn't want her there and he knew about everyone.

"Fine. Whatever you say."

Just as Emma finished speaking, they heard a noise from within the forest. Someone was out there. Both of them looked over at Aurora and Mulan. Milan had obviously heard it too, her hand was resting on the hilt of her sword, ready for action. They stayed silent like that for a moment, waiting, listening. And then it happened.

It wasn't just one person, but several, though that wasn't what took them by surprise the most. The people coming into their clearing to attack them, were dead people. They'd seen them back at the camp after Cora had run through it and killed all those refugees. Each one of them had a spot on their chest where Cora had ripped their hearts from. Taking down all of them was a pretty daunting task on it's own, but add in that they couldn't be killed, they had a serious problem on their hands. There was no way they could take them all.

And they were right. By the time they had run a few of them off, the others had started leaving on their own. It wasn't until then that they realized Aurora was gone. They had taken her. And she had never gotten the chance to wake up and tell them what Henry had said. Even if she had the information they needed, she was gone and that was just one more thing they had to do, track her down again. Without what she might know, they'd never be able to defeat Cora.

Back in Storybrooke, Henry awoke with a jolt, breathing heavily. Gold leaned in closer from where he sat beside him.

"Did you see her? Did you tell her?" He tried to hide the sense of urgency he felt, but he needed to know. Not just because he didn't want Cora in Storybrooke, but he was worried for Emma. Again, the last thing she needed after everything he'd put her through was to be stuck in the Enchanted Forest with Cora and away from her son.

"No—No, I didn't get the chance. Something—Something happened. She—She got sucked out of there."

Gold's face fell at this news. If she got sucked out, then she was probably woken up forcefully, meaning they certainly hadn't gotten time to make arrangements to meet again at a more convenient time. The only way they could try again was to send him back and hope someone would be there to receive him. There was no guarantee.

Suddenly Henry groaned as he tried to sit up. Regina immediately sprang forth to see what was happening.

"Something's wrong."

Henry was holding his arm in pain and Regina lightly pulled back the sleeve revealing an armful of burn marks. It had to have been from that room. The same thing had happened to him before, it just hadn't been as bad.

"Please, let me fix that," Gold said. And he stood, moving to sit on the edge of the bed beside Henry. With Henry's sleeve pulled back, he waved his hand over the boy's arm, a purple glow encompassing his hand as he did. And just like that, it was healed. No more scars.

"What caused this?" Regina asked him once he was finished.

"When you venture deeper into the Netherworld instead of away, there are risks," he answered simply. That's really all there was too it. Though he didn't mean to sound so crass as he said it. He wished no harm to come to Henry at all, definitely not. That's why he'd so readily offered to heal him. It was as much for his own fondness for the boy as it was on Emma's behalf that he didn't want to see Henry hurt.

"Someone woke Aurora before her soul was ready to return," he continued. "The violence of that act tore her away and injured Henry. We're lucky it wasn't worse. He's going to need some time to recover before he can be sent back at."

As soon as the words left his lips both Regina and Charming were shouting protests at the thought of sending Henry back in. It wasn't as if he did not understand where they were coming from, but did they not see that they didn't have any other options? Henry was their only way to communicate with others. If they truly wanted to make sure Cora couldn't get to Storybrooke, Henry was the only way. It wasn't ideal of course, but what choice did they have?

"We'd be monsters to even consider risking his life again," Charming said, standing, a show of his outrage at the idea.

"Careful with your tone, Charming," Gold said, also standing. He hadn't particularly cared for his use of the word 'monster', given he'd just been considering sending Henry back to the Netherworld. "I understand your concern for the boy, but I know Cora. Without our help, Snow and Emma will soon be dead."

"Oh like you care," Charming fired back. He knew about what happened between him and Emma. It wouldn't surprise him at all if Gold was secretly hoping his wife and daughter would die at the hands of Cora.

Gold clenched his jaw tightly, but he refused to be baited by Charming. He didn't have to explain himself to Charming or tell him that he was wrong. Even if he did, Charming had already made up his mind about him.

"Then," Gold went on, pointedly ignoring Charming, "a true monster will be on her way to Storybrooke."

"Aurora is gone," Regina pointed out, her now standing as well. "Why do we need to send Henry back to that fiery inferno with no one there to receive our message."

That was the very same question he had already asked him self several minutes ago, the minute Henry had said Aurora had been pulled from her slumber. He was no closer to an answer now than he had been then. All they could do was hope that it was some sort of fluke and that she'd be there again if they sent Henry back.

After a moment of silence as they all thought, it was Charming who spoke up first.

"Because someone will be there."

"Who?" Regina asked, tone laced with skepticism. She'd never really thought Charming was the brains of the operation in his and Snow's relationship, so she was very hesitant to believe that he had a good idea. Plus, she was remembering how witless he had been as David Nolan and wondering how much of that had stuck around with the Prince.

"Snow."

"That's an awfully big assumption." Just more proof for her later if she ever felt the need to call him an idiot.

"No it's not. She was there once before, she can go back, she can find a way. She will, I know it. And I'll be waiting," he said, turning to Gold.

"You're going to this Netherworld?" Regina asked, looking at him like he really was an idiot. At this point she was convinced she was right.

"I faced you, how bad could it be?"

"It's not as simple as that," Gold chimed in. "You can't get there. You haven't been under a sleeping curse."

"Well then put me under one."

"If we do that there's a chance you might never waken up."

"Sure I will," he replied, looking hopeful. He and his wife were two of a kind. "When I see her, she'll kiss me and I'll be fine. Now put me under. I've spent far too much time looking for my wife; it is time to bring her home!"


	23. Chapter 23

"Any change?" Gold asked as Regina stepped back from out of his office. She'd once again gone to check on David to see if he would wake up.

"No. He's not improving. He needs true love's kiss; he won't wake up until Mary Margaret comes back."

"Until? Well that's rather optimistic, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"They're up against your mother. The only chance Snow and Emma have of defeating her is with the squid ink—"

"—which is why you sent the message through David—"

"—Which would be beneficial if we knew that message were delivered. But alas, given the Prince's condition, we don't know. As such, it's important we take precaution. We have to consider the possibility that when that portal opens it won't be his family that come through, it'll be cora."

"And neither one of us wants that," Regina replied, shaking her head, the fear and apprehension at the thought of that evident in her eyes.

"We have to find where they're coming through and destroy that portal."

"But—whoever came through would die—"

"—…I know."

Regina scoffed, looked scandalized. She knew he could be ruthless, but even she hadn't expected him to ever suggest that they be willing to kill Mary Margaret and Emma if they were the ones to come trough the portal and not Cora. She shook her head at him, somewhere between amused and repulsed though she said nothing.

He didn't like her silence, nor the way she looked at him and he was sure he knew what she was thinking. "What?"

"Are you really that desperate to keep your secret from Belle that you're willing to kill Emma?"

And his suspicions for what she might be thinking were thus proven to be correct.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't I? You forget I've known you a long time, Gold. I know how you work, probably better than anyone—maybe even better than Emma, though in a different sense, thank god. That's exactly the kind of thing you would do."

"You know, Regina, I don't think you know me quite as well as you think you do." His blood was actually boiling at that point and he tried to keep it under control, he didn't want her to see just how much this decision was affecting him.

"You're still the manipulative bastard you've always been as far as I can tell. This does nothing to prove otherwise. You really expect me to believe that part of you isn't just the slightest bit motivated to do this so that your darling Belle never finds out about you and Emma?"

"I don't care what you believe—I don't have to prove anything to you. But you and I both know the chances of Emma and Mary Margaret defeating your mother and being the ones to come through that portal is slim to none. You should be glad I'm suggesting it; it's a win-win for you either way. Either you get rid of your mother once and for all or you get rid of the only thing standing in your way of having your son."

"Right, because you care about that—"

"—No, I don't. I care about me and the last thing I need is Cora coming through that portal. I'll do whatever it takes to stop her."

"Even if that means killing the woman who almost had your child?"

His jaw clamped tight at her words, fingers curling tightly over the head of his cane.

"There aren't any other options. If I knew Emma had received my message and knew how to take Cora down, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Don't you dare presume to know how I feel about this decision. You don't know anything."

He was visibly shaking as he spoke and Regina noticed it immediately. Her eyes narrowed at him in response. She'd only seen him like this once before, so shaken and upset—when she'd told him what had 'happened' to Belle, that lie she had told him. Leaning back, she folded her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side as she looked at him as if she seeing him for the first time all over again. He didn't like that either.

"What now?" He barked at her.

"You actually care for her, don't you?"

Again his jaw clenched tightly, his grip on his cane becoming tighter once again. It was all the answer she needed.

"You do. My, my. What a complicated situation you're in, Rumpel."

"Enough—Are you going to help me or not?"

She stood silent for a moment thinking, but he didn't have time to waste.

"Look, magic is unpredictable in this world. If something unfortunate were to happen while you were attempting to help, well, he could hardly blame you for that."

"No. I can't lie to him—I'm not like you. I'm trying to be a better mother."

"You won't be able to be able to a better anything if Cora comes through, and if she does, she will be a threat to everyone, including your son. So if you truly want to be a good mother to Henry, to protect him, if you want to be better—prove it."

"Huh—Rumpelstiltskin's cell…I haven't been here since before Regina's curse." Mary Margaret stood beside Emma, looking ahead down the corridor into the cell she hadn't seen in ages, and yet it felt like it was only yesterday, the memory of her last journey to there playing in her head anew. "This was where he told us you were going to be the savior."

Emma's whipped around to look at her mother so fast it caused a crick in her neck.

"He knew?"

"It was prophesized."

Emma blinked, confused, her movements stilled as she thought on those words. He had known she was going to be the savior, known she was going to be the one who broke the curse. Her now having that knowledge opened so many doors, the fact that he knew all of that had so many implications. Did he, Gold, back in Storybooke know? Or was that something only Rumpelstiltskin had known? Were the two even different?  
If Gold was awake that meant he had his memories back right? So how long had he known?

She didn't want to be thinking about that, but it was all she could do. Her mind wouldn't stop as dozens of different thoughts came all at once, dozens of questions. None of them were particularly comforting, in fact, all of them were bad. The one most prevalent was that them, whatever had existed—or not existed between them had only been because he needed her to break the curse. She knew that's what he had wanted, she didn't know why, but she knew. What if he had only shown interest in her because she was the savior? And now, if the curse was broken, what need did have of her? What did he do when he no longer needed someone?

Thoughts plagued her again about whether or not he was actually going to help them get back home. She had voiced the concerns to Mary Margaret and been talked down, but they were surfacing once again. There was nothing for him to gain if he helped her get back to Storybrooke, and he wasn't really the kind of guy who did things for anyone unless he saw some benefit to him in it. Had she really managed to let herself be used so easily and not even seen it coming? How much of what had gone on was just an act?

Somewhere deep down, too deep for her mind to see it at that moment, she knew it hadn't all been a lie. There was no way, if she really thought about it. Those tears she'd seen in his eyes when she told them what had happened to their baby—He couldn't fake that. That night at his home after it happened and before he knew, when he had just held her all through the night—It couldn't have been an act. He was good, but not that good. Yet her mind was too clouded, her insecurities flushing out all rational thought. At that moment, she was fully convinced that Gold had only used her and was now ready to cast her aside, done with her.

"Come on—" Mary Margaret commanded, bringing Emma back out of her thoughts. Her mind was still racing of course, but she was at least brought back to the present.

Together they made their way down the corridor and into the cell where Mulan and Aurora were already searching for the squid ink. It wasn't a particular large cell (and for a fleeting moment she felt sorry for him having been stuck in it), so she didn't imagine it would be too hard to search it to find the ink. She figured it would take a few minutes at the most, assuming it was even still there at all.

And just as that thought occurred to Emma, Mulan confirmed it.

"The squid ink—It's not here."

"Gold said we would find it," Mary Margaret replied, beginning to search on her own for it in case they had somehow missed it.

"Was there anyone else in here with him? They may have taken the ink."

"No, he was kept alone. Visitors were forbidden, he was too dangerous to allow any human contact."

"How'd he keep from going crazy?" Emma asked. It was originally meant to be a private thought, but she'd said it out loud. Still there was that small bit of her that felt sorry for him, even while thinking that he had used her.

"He didn't—" Aurora chimed in and Emma turned to her, noticing her holding a small scroll in her hand. All three of the others moved towards her to see what it was that she was holding. Clearly something on that scroll held evidence that Gold had gone crazy while cooped up in that cell and they were all anxious to see what it was.

"What is that?"

"Is it a message?"

"Yes, and I think it's for you," Aurora answered, holding out the scroll for Emma to take.

"Why would you think—" she began, stretching out her hand to unroll the bit of parchment, but her words catch in her throat as she looks down at it. "—that…?" On the scroll was her name, Emma, written over and over and over again. An elegant script of just her name, filling the entire scroll. The parchment was easily two feet long and in the same small elegant handwriting was just—her name.

She stared down at it, dumbfounded. The sight of it was beginning to make her fears seem more and more likely, that Gold had only had anything to do with her because she was the savior, that he had planned everything. Or—almost everything. The pregnancy—the—what happened, that even she knew he hadn't seen coming and certainly hadn't wanted. But everything else? It was a strong possibility.

The others continued to look around the cell for the squid ink, but Emma took the scroll and sat off to the side, studying it, trying to make sense of it. Maybe under the surface or something there was some deeper meaning? Or maybe she was supposed to read between the lines or something so to speak. She had no idea, but she couldn't take her eyes or her mind off of it either way.

"What does this even mean?"

"He was obsessed with you Emma, you were the key to breaking the curse."

More of her suspicions confirmed with that statement.

"We've looked everywhere," Aurora said, exasperated. "There's no ink in this cell."

"There has to be," Mary Margaret implored. "He told David".

"You were in a netherworld, maybe something got lost in translation," Emma replied halfheartedly. She was still entirely engrossed in the scroll with her name all over it. Though part of her mind couldn't help but also chime in that maybe Gold had lied to David and made the whole thing about the squid ink up to keep them busy and away from Storybrooke.

"No—" Mulan replied to the room at large. "She heard right—"

"You found it!" Mary Margaret shouted, running over to her. Aurora did the same, while Emma stood from her spot on the ground to join the others.

"In a manner of speaking—There was ink in this cell." And then she held out the empty ink bottle for them to see. Were it not for Aurora suddenly and inexplicably turning away from them all, throwing a rock at the lever that controlled the door, they all would have been putting two and two together to realize that he had used all the ink to write Emma's name on that parchment.

"Aurora, what are you doing?!" They all shouted in some variation, making their voices indistinguishable from one another. But they all turned to face her at the same time when they did, that's when they saw her, Cora. Hook was there with her.

I knew it, Emma thought. She knew he was a no good liar, trying to flirt with her and win her over just to get what he wanted. Typical. She'd say it was good she was smarter than that, but as far as she could tell Gold had done the same thing and she had fallen for it then. But she hadn't truly bought it when Hook had tried it. Perhaps the situation with Gold had made her more alert, more aware so that it didn't happen to her again.

"Helping me," Cora answered them, stepping forward into the light of the torches lining the corridor and lighting the cell. Then with a simple wave of her hand, Cora had summoned the compass that they needed in order to get back to Storybrooke right out of Emma's hand, the action causing a gasp to fall from her lips.

"No, no!" Emma cried, shaking and pulling at the bars of the cell in a desperate attempt to free herself all while knowing it was useless.

"Don't waste your energy, dear, Rumpelstiltskin himself couldn't escape from this cell". Emma stopped her futile attempts to get out as Cora turned her eyes on Aurora. "Thank you, Aurora, we couldn't have done it without you."

"Why would you do this?!"

"How could you?!" Mary Margaret and Emma chimed simultaneously, rounding on Aurora.

"Don't blame her," Cora answered for her. "She was only doing what she was told." And as she spoke, she held out Aurora's still beating, bright red and glowing heart in her palm.

"You took her heart?" Emma asked.

"Actually, I did," Hook finally spoke up, "it was a gift."

Then Cora squeezed the heart in her hand, and behind Emma, Aurora cried out in pain, Mulan quickly moving to her aid.

"Forgive us," Cora said, her tone entirely insincere, "we'd love to say, but Storybrooke awaits." And with that she turned to leave, Hook following behind her, but Emma spoke out, calling after him to stop.

"Hook, wait!"

He turned to face her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

"Please don't do this. My son is in Storybrooke; he needs me."

"Perhaps you should have considered that before you abandoned me on that beanstalk."

"You would've done the same."

"Actually, no."

Emma looked down and away, ashamed. What if he was telling the truth?

Come on, Emma, you know he's not.

"Do you know what this is?" Hook continued on, pulling something out of his pocket. It was a necklace of some sort from the looks of it. As he held it closer to her, she realized what it was.

"The bean that the giant kept," she gasped, frantically moving to reach through the bars to try and grab it from him. Expecting her to do that, of course, he pulled it away from her, giving a chuckle while he watched her pointless attempts to reach it.

"Ah, ah, ah. Yes, indeed. A pirate always keeps a souvenir of his conquests, but this, this is much more than a mere trinket. This is a symbol—Something that was once magical, full of hope, possibility. Now look at it—Died up, dead, useless. Much like you. The time for making deals is done just as I'm done—with you."

Then the two of them left, her looking after them feeling like a fool. All she wanted to do was get back to her son—Was that so much to ask for? She wasn't being selfish, she wasn't trying to hurt anyone. Why was everyone making everything so goddamn difficult for her? Yet while she was feeling low and pathetic, she couldn't help but still try to get out, so after a minute of silence, she went straight to trying to break through the bars of the cell.

"You aren't going to break it down, Emma, it was enchanted to hold Rumpelstiltskin. We don't have a chance."

She didn't like it, but she had to admit that Mary Margaret was right. She just hated admitting defeat.

"This is my fault," Aurora said to no one in particular.

"No, it's mine," Mulan replied. "Cora took your heart because I failed to protect you."

"That's very sweet," Emma added sardonically, "but I believe it's my fault. I'm the savior and i'm not doing very much saving, am I?" The question was rhetorical. She already had her answer.

Mary Margaret silently crossed the cell, moving to sit beside Emma. Turning her head slightly, she looked at her. "We're going to win this fight, you know? Good always defeats evil."

"You sound like Henry."

She chuckled lightly, genuinely amused. "Guess optimism runs in the family."

"I think it skipped a generation."

"You should know better than anybody, you broke the curse."

"What have I done since then? I got us stranded over here, burned down the wardrobe, let Cora get the ash and now the compass. The only reason I broke the curse was because it was exactly what Gold wanted me to do. I had nothing to do with it."

"What are you talking about?"

"He told you I was the savior; it was his plan. Once I fulfilled that role maybe that's all I was ever meant to do. Everything I've ever done, he had it all mapped out before i was even born. I'm not powerful. I'm not-not—a savior." She sighed and pulled out the scroll with her name on it. "I'm a name on a piece of paper; I'm a pawn. That's exactly why we are in here and Cora's on her way to Storybroooke."

Mary Margaret sighed heavily. Things did look very bleak, she'd give her that, but this wasn't over. She didn't believe that it would end like this, she believed as she always had that good would always defeat evil, that she would always find her family. And she was determined to help Emma see it that way too.

"We are going to get out of here—" she spoke up again a moment later after silently studying the scroll again.

"How? By staring at that scroll? It's not like it's gonna magically open the door for us.

Mary Margaret laughed lightly, smiling down at the piece of paper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. She finally understood. And in the next moment she was on her feet.

"What?" Emma said, looking up at her, tone incredulous.

"When I was a little girl I used to sneak into Cora's chamber and watch her practice magic. She had a spell book, and Emma, the spells were in the book—"

"Yeah isn't that what a spell book is, a book that has spells in it?" Emma replied sarcastically, clearly thinking Mary Margaret had lost it too.

Fair enough, Mary Margaret thought to herself a moment, but that's not what she meant. Shaking her head at Emma she held out her hand for her to wait. "Just watch." Then with the scroll in her hand, unrolled, she turned to the bars of the cell, blowing on it and the ink lifted from the page right before their eyes.

Emma jumped to her feet, eyes wide. "Whoa, the squid ink! Gold wrote the scroll in squid ink!"

Mary Margaret then blew the cloud of ink at the bars of the cell, where it broke through them, creating a hole more than big enough for them to escape from. A satisfied, relieved smile broke out on her face. Emma and the others had smiles just as big.

"Told ya," Mary Margaret whispered. It was almost to herself a bit even, reassurance to herself that they were going to make it back home. "Good always wins."

After Mary Margaret and them returned, the first thing they did was go to Gold's shop to wake up David. And while the others were busy reuniting and being glad to have found one another again, Emma had other things on her mind. She shuffled off after Gold who'd stayed behind in the front part of his shop, not entirely keen on watching the tear-soaked reunion of her parents, not that she could blame him.

When she stepped through the curtain and caught his eye, he looked away, ashamed. It killed him inside to think that he had almost killed her. It wasn't intentional, he didn't want her to die, he'd just been trying to keep Cora out of Storybrooke, however selfishly. He hadn't expected her to be able to beat Cora.

"We need to talk," she said, voice commanding and somewhat biting. He had a feeling whatever she was about to say to him, he deserved. He just wished her family wasn't in the next room over so that he could properly and freely try to explain himself.

"Yes, I believe apologies are in order." Instead of speaking how he would have wanted to, he had to put on this act, this front for anyone who might overhear them talking.

"No—" He quirked his brow. "No apologies necessary. I understand why you wanted to keep Cora out of here."

"'Just remind me never to be against you in the future, Ms. Swan."

"It's not really a bet when the game is rigged, is it?"

Again he quirked his brow at her in question. "To what exactly are you referring?"

"Your scroll—I saw it in your cell; you wrote my name again and again and again."

He shrugged, the gesture equally as prevalent on his lips as his shoulders. "Just wanted to make sure it would stick."

"The ink—It was there all the time; you could've gotten out," she implored. There was a question in her tone but she did not ask it. Why didn't he use it to get out? Why did he stay locked up?

"I was exactly where I wanted to be. You needed to find that so all this could occur."

She wasn't satisfied with that answer. He was responsible for more than just that. She knew it, more of this had been his plan, his design. It had to have been.

"You created the curse, Gold, you made me the savior. So everything I've ever done—It's exactly what you wanted me to do."

He could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't just referring to her being the savior. She was talking about them, too. But she was wrong. What had had happened between them had never been part of his design. That was never supposed to have happened. Not in a million years. But he couldn't talk about that then, not with the others so close by.

"I created the curse, dearie, but I didn't make you."

Then it was her turn to quirk her brow at him, very subtly, hardly even noticeable. What did he mean? To her, it all seemed the same.

"I merely took advantage of what you are—the product of True Love."

Emma's eyes immediately flickered towards his back office where Mary Margaret and David—her parents—were.

"That's why you're powerful," Gold continued. "And everything you've done—you've done yourself." He made sure his tone was not accusatory, not blaming her for anything that had happened or saying it was all her fault what had transpired between them, but trying to let her know in the only way he could that he hadn't planned any of it.

Emma's eyes went wide, realizing that he was telling the truth. At least for the moment she believed him, there was no guarantee that her doubts wouldn't come back when her insecurities resurfaced sometime later.

"So, you don't know?" She asked him.

"Know what?"

She stepped closer to him, hand moving over her heart as she did. Instinctively his eyes dropped to watch the movement. He swallowed thickly, emotions swirling within him against his will at her closeness. Then his eyes met hers once more just as she began to speak.

"Cora—tried to rip my heart out—"

Gold's brow furrowed at that statement. Cora didn't try to rip out peoples' hearts, she did rip them out. She was the Queen of Hearts, nobody got away from that if she didn't want them to.

"But she couldn't. She was blasted back by something inside me…by—by—"

"By magic," he finished for her. "Whatever that was, I didn't do that—You did. I told you before, Ms. Swan, that you were more powerful than you know, but you're also more powerful than I know. All I did was use your parents' to my advantage. A drop of true love on the parchment of the curse as I told you before, making the product of that love, the only thing that could break it."

"Why—why make a curse only to make sure that it could be broken?"

"I wanted it broken from the start, dearie. But to break it, it had to be cast first."

"That doesn't even make any sense?"

"I needed to find this land and the only way to do that, was a curse."

"Then why did you want to come here? I don't get it. Why did you do all of this?"

He stayed silent a moment, not sure if he wanted to answer. She deserved an answer in his opinion, but was he ready to tell her? Not really. He might not ever be, not until he absolutely needed to. However, her mind ran on the same track his did, she felt she deserved an answer too.

"You owe me, Gold. My entire life was how it was because you wanted some curse cast. I deserve to know why."

"My son—" he began in a whisper so low she had to lean closer to hear. "I told you he was lost—this land is where I'll find him."

It was then that a thought occurred to her, her mind going back to all those months ago when he helped her run for Sheriff.

"So—So when you said to me about recognizing a desperate soul, knowing how badly I wanted to look like a hero for Henry—you were talking about yourself weren't you? You're a desperate soul—trying to do whatever it takes to be with your kid—"

Again he swallowed thickly. Whether he answered or not was irrelevant, she knew just by look at him. It all made perfect sense too. That was why she always felt like she understood him so well and he her. They really were so alike. And now she was beginning to really see just how much.


	24. Chapter 24

As Emma stood there, looking at Gold, _finally_ understanding a little bit more about _why_ she felt like she understood him so well, she found her curiosity piqued. So, he'd done all of this for his son, to find his son. But how had he lost him to begin with? What had led to desperation so deep that he orchestrated an entire curse that ripped an entire _land_ of people to another world? And as her curiosity heightened, her desire for answers heightened, she found herself gravitating closer to him still, a whisper falling from her lips.

"What _happened_ to him—your son? How did he get here?"

If Gold had not wanted to tell her that he had made the curse, designed it to be broken by her all those years ago, it was nothing compared to how much he did not want to answer _that_ question. It was an answer he wished to hold deep down and never reveal to anyone if he could avoid it. And he intended to for the rest of his days. He had no intention of telling her, or even Belle for that matter. In fact, he'd be more inclined to tell Emma than anyone, but he wouldn't. He couldn't. That would mean having to _admit_ to someone else what a _coward_ he had been and Emma already knew on some level how cowardly he was, he couldn't stand the thought of her _knowing_ what he'd done.

Luckily for him, it was at that moment, as Emma stood mere inches from him, that Snow and the others made their way out of the backroom. David came through first, a brow lifted curiously and almost in a warning of sorts upon noticing the admittedly small distance between Gold and Emma. A small flush rose on Emma's cheek, hardly noticeable even by Gold as close as he stood, as she backed away from him in an awkward sort of shuffle, hands moving to tuck her thumbs into the back pockets of her jeans. She cast Gold one final sidelong glance before she turned to face Mary Margaret and David, forcing a smile.

"Hey, why don't we go to Granny's and celebrate a little, hm? What d'ya think, kid?" Emma asked walking over to Henry where he stood near her parents and ruffled his hair a little.

Henry beamed up at her and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds great!" He turned his head, beaming still, to look at Mary Margaret and David. He looked like a little kid on Christmas—or more accurately a kid who was watching his heroes come to life. And in a lot of ways, he was.

Some part of Emma wanted to send the others on ahead of her and hang back with Gold, possibly get an answer to her question, but there was another part of her that knew better. Knew better in two respects, one that Gold wasn't going to be answering any more questions from her today, and two that it would do her no good to be alone with Gold. Despite her best efforts to try to push any feelings for the man down deep to be forgotten, there was always that pull he seemed to have on her, that entrancing quality about him that drew her in. And the more similarities she saw between them, the harder it was to push those feelings down. So instead, she led the group out of his shop and down to the Diner.

Gold was grateful for the interruption and grateful it had taken Emma from his shop. It had been quite a while since they'd been alone together with her having been stuck in the Enchanted Forest and he was beginning to see why it may have been good that they'd been separated. He hadn't even noticed how _close_ to him she had been and he feared how things may have gone had she stuck around. No, he wouldn't have answered her question, of that he was sure, but what else might they have talked about? What else might have happened? He didn't know, because he just couldn't predict how he would behave around Emma. Ever since she'd barged into his home that fateful night, his behavior in regards to her had become increasingly erratic as he found himself drawn to her while desperately trying to push her away.

And each time she was near, each time they talked and he saw that _lack_ of judgment in her eyes, replaced with an understanding he saw with no one else, he found it hard to remember _why_ he was trying to push her away. She wasn't even mad at him for almost killing her. She _understood_. Then the answer came to him as he spotted the jacket he had once lent Belle hanging on a coat rack nearby. _Belle_.

He _loved_ Belle, he did. Truly. But that did not erase his feelings for Emma, nor did it erase what had transpired between them. He could be happy with Belle, perhaps. Belle loved him. Emma, he wasn't sure. He wasn't even sure how deep his own feelings for Emma ran, let alone hers for him. It didn't _feel_ quite like love, though he had never had a firm understanding of what love was and when he felt it. Regardless, after everything Belle had been through because of him, and the fact that he truly did love and care for her, he didn't want to hurt her, and he knew that if he spent time alone with Emma, those feelings he had, whatever they were, may grow.

It killed him, that feeling like he was choosing one over the other, even if it wasn't really what he was doing. Things between himself and Emma had never become quite _anything_. And even what they had been had ended that night at the hospital, and if not then, the moment he betrayed her trust and put Henry in danger. It didn't _matter_ that he had known Henry would be fine, she hadn't, and she had every right to be angry with him for it. But it was for the best, he kept telling himself that. She deserved someone who wouldn't lie to her or hurt her and Belle, for reasons he'd never understand completely, wanted him and loved him. And he loved her in return. It only made sense to let things go on as they were and stay away from Emma as much as he could until his feelings faded away…assuming of course that that was even possible, but he was determined that it should be.

* * *

After the celebration at the Diner, Emma, Mary Margaret, David and Henry had all returned to Mary Margaret's apartment for the night. They were all pretty exhausted for various reasons, Henry from excitement, Mary Margaret and Emma from everything they'd gone through in the Enchanted Forest and David due to everything that had gone on while his family was missing. So the first thing Emma did when they got back was send Henry up to bed.

A few minutes later when she came back downstairs, she flopped down into one of the kitchen chairs and let her head fall with a thud onto the table. While she had been up there, David had told Mary Margaret a few important details about what she'd missed while stuck in the Enchanted Forest, among them, what had happened with Gold and the woman, Belle, he was with. The two cast a look at one another apprehensively, knowing it would be prudent to share this information with Emma before she found out on her own, but neither was really looking forward to it, but it had to be done. Taking a glass and a bottle of Whiskey over to her, Mary Margaret poured her a drink and sat down beside her.

At the sound of the other chairs beside her moving as the others took a seat, she lifted her head, brow raised curiously at the mournful looks they were both sporting. Eye caught sight of the glass of alcohol and she looked from Mary Margaret to David somewhat suspiciously, not liking the current atmosphere one bit.

"You look like someone's died…"

Mary Margaret let out a deep sigh, looking once more to her husband before reaching out and placing a hand on Emma's arm lightly. Emma's eyes flickered to it briefly, almost wanting to pull away, but she didn't.

"There's something you need to know. Something that happened while we were gone."

"Okay….—-"

"It's about Gold," Mary Margaret clarified before going on, gauging Emma's reaction.

"What about him?" Emma asked, trying her best to seem disinterested. Yet her first instinct was to become worried. Oddly enough, worried _for_ him, as if something might have happened to him. The fact that she'd already seen him and he'd appeared fine at the time didn't even register.

"He uh—has he ever mentioned someone else…a woman?"

"No—"

She paused, events of the night he'd almost beaten Moe French to death coming back to the front of her mind. Technically he hadn't really mentioned who she was or anything about her, but there had been mention made of a 'her', who he'd denied even speaking of.

"Well, yeah, once. When he beat that guy up—When I found him he'd been saying something about him, Moe, being responsible for what happened to her? I didn't really catch all of it and he denied it when I asked him…why?"

She didn't like where it felt like this was heading. Talking about a man she had feelings with and any mention of another woman was likely to only mean one thing. And while she would keep denying that she had any feelings for the man still, it was complete bullshit and already a part of her was aching at what was sure to come.

Again, Mary Margaret looked at David as if silently pleading for help with all of this. He offered nothing but an encouraging look.

"I think that whoever he was talking about then, might be this woman, Belle. They're uh—well, they kind of together."

And there it was. That crushing blow. Emma felt like she'd just had the wind knocked out of her. Was it fair for her to hurt when she was the one who had technically ended whatever had existed between her and Gold? Probably not, but it did anyway. One night he'd been telling her that he was afraid to lose her and that was why he was pushing her away and just a few short weeks later, the moment she was out of the picture there was some other woman. Her blood boiled in equal measure as her heart ached. Of course, she wasn't about to let Mary Margaret and David see that.

"Is that it?"

David and Mary Margaret exchanged looks once more.

"Emma—" David began. "Are you all right? I know you and Gold, whatever it was…I just…I thought you should know."

"I'm fine. Gold can do whatever or whoever he wants. We were never a couple or anything. I slept with him once and the whole thing was a mistake, but it's over. It's done. I don't care what he does."

"Emma—" Mary Margaret then said, voice pleading. "You don't have to pretend to not be hurt. I know you care about him."

Emma turned a skeptical eye to Mary Margaret, brow raised.

"I'm not pretending _anything,_ I'm _fine_. I don't care what Gold does anymore."

"But you—"

"—No," Emma said, standing from the table. "I don't. I did…at some point. Or _something_. But I don't anymore, okay? Just—drop it."

Mary Margaret nodded and uttered noncommittal sounds in agreement still eyeing her daughter sadly as she went upstairs to her own bed. When she was sure she was out of ear shot of them, she turned back to David, a questioning, concerned look in her eyes.

"She'll be fine. She's tough, _strong_. Like her mother. And father I guess," he joked. "If she says she's fine, then, I think for now, we let it go. Either way, we'll still be here for her. I know you don't like it, but, she is a grown woman now, we can't make her talk to us about that or anything else. We just need to let her have her space. She'll be okay."

She sighed, but nodded.

"Come on," David went on. "Let's go to bed. You need to get some rest."

* * *

The second it came to her mind that Gold might have killed Archie just to frame Regina, she really wished that one, she hadn't mentioned it out loud and two, wished that Regina actually _had_ been the one to kill Archie. That would have made things a whole hell of a lot easier, and it would have kept her from having to see Gold again so soon. Emma wasn't exactly the kind of person who believed in things like fate or destiny, but she was pretty damn sure _something_ was interfering to keep pushing her back towards Gold despite her trying to do everything she could to stay _away_ from him.

Or at least she kept telling herself she was trying to stay away from him, but perhaps on some level she was subconsciously trying to be around him more and more. After all, it did always seem to be of her own suggestion that Gold be involved in _everything_ and that they'd have to confront him about one thing or another. Gold and Regina may not always see eye to eye, but claiming that he'd kill some one just to frame her was pushing it a little bit. But if it wasn't Regina, it had to be someone, right? And obviously Gold was the only logical person to blame. So naturally they had to go find him once again at his shop.

When she'd been told by Mary Margaret and David that Gold was apparently seeing someone, it had hurt—more than she wanted to admit—but she was sure that she could handle it. She was a grown woman and it wasn't like this was the first time she'd faced any heartache. Emma was sure that it wouldn't be a problem. Of course, she hadn't really expected the sight that greeted her when she walked in the door, Mary Margaret and David trailing behind her.

They were having a _picnic,_ a goddamned picnic. In all her time in Storybrooke and all the shit she saw in the Enchanted Forest, somehow, that image was one of the strangest things she'd seen. It wasn't that she didn't think or _know_ that Gold could be… **tender,** she knew that, and had experienced it for herself. But it's one thing being _part_ of it an another thing entirely to bear witness to it. And she couldn't even help the way her pace slowed and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly at the woman standing across from him, her sunny demeanor and appearance a stark contrast to the man she knew…or _thought_ she knew anyway.

"Ah—" Gold began, stepping around the counter as Ms. Swan and company filed into his shop. He certainly hadn't been expecting them, and though he kept it hidden, a deep sense of dread filled him at the thought of Emma and Belle being in the same place at once with _him._ He'd not told Belle anything about Emma and he had no intention of doing so. All he could think was that he **had** to keep in complete control of himself and his behavior, ever word and look calculated so that Belle would not notice a thing.

"—nothing warms a heart more like a family reunited. You have your mother's chin, Ms. Swan—" he continued, showing no hint of his surprise to see her or any of his apprehension about what may transpire with him and Emma talking again.

"We know that you killed him—"

"—And your father's tact." Whatever he'd expected them to be visiting him about, it sure wasn't that, and the chuckle he let out was genuine.

"Someone's dead?" Belle chimed in, directing her question to Emma.

"Dr. Hopper." There was some hostility in her tone, but it could easily be written off as being directed at Gold and the entire situation itself rather than the woman herself. And admittedly, _most_ of it was, but Emma had a jealous side and she already didn't like the woman.

"Why on earth would you think I had anything to do with that?"

"Because _all_ the evidence points to Regina."

"And she's not possibly capable of doing something so vile," Belle cut in again, tone grossly skeptical, not believing that Emma could think Regina incapable of killing someone. She'd seen what Regina could do first hand, so she knew.

"It's a frame job," Emma bit back somewhat scathingly. Yeah, she didn't like this woman at _all._

"It wouldn't be the first time you used someone to try to hurt her," Mary Margaret added, leveling a hard gaze at Gold.

"Nice to see your memory's still in tact, dearie, but this time I'm going to have to disappoint you; it wasn't me."

"Why should we believe you?" David replied, tone laced with skepticism as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Because I can prove it. Ask the witness."

"No one was there—" Emma shot back at him.

"Oh, well that's not strictly true now, is it?"

She was pretty damn sure it was, but then he brought up Pongo. Truthfully, it boggled her mind how a _dog_ was going to help them or was going to prove that he had nothing to do with it. But David went to go find Pongo anyway, coming back a few minutes later and bringing him in to the back room of Gold's shop.

Bending down, Gold coaxed Pongo towards him, cooing at him as he reached out to pet him, a few 'good boy's muttered quietly as the dog neared him. Emma watched the scene with a sort of disturbed fascination. Twice in one day she'd seen him look more tender than she ever had before. (That wasn't strictly true, she'd seen him tender with herself once as well, but she didn't like to recall that).

"I uh—" Bell began with a giggle, "I didn't realize you were such a dog person."

"Well, a long time ago in another life, I got to know a sheepdog or two."

"That's fascinating—" Emma chimed in sarcastically, earning a quick whip of David's head in her direction, not entirely used to such a consistently sour demeanor. He was honestly a little worried about her. He knew she said the other night that Gold could do whatever she wanted and it didn't bother her, and even then he hadn't bought it completely, but now he was _convinced_ she'd been lying through her teeth. Yeah, it was most likely just to protect herself, but that paternal side of him that was continuing to grow more and more every day was worried. "—but unless you speak _dog,_ how is Pongo going to tell us anything?"

"Through magic, of course," Gold answered matter of factly. "It won't allow us to communicate, but it will allow us to _extract_ his memories."

"Extract?" David asked, worry evident in his tone.

"You don't have to worry, he won't going to feel a thing."

"Why should we trust you?" Emma questioned, stepping towards him, head cocked to the side, voice low and almost predatory. "Couldn't you just as easily use magic to fool us?"

He could easily say that they way she looked at him and the way she questioned why they should trust him didn't hurt, but it would be a lie. Only a hint of that showed on his features as he looked back at her, but it was masked quickly to be replaced with mild frustration at her as well as subtle amusement knowing that she would be surprised by his next words. If there was one thing he knew about Ms. Swan, it was that she greatly underestimated herself. He'd heard her do so on more than one occasion and today, he was going to put that all to rest.

"Because _I_ _'_ _m_ not going to be the one using magic," he began, stepping closer towards her himself, "you are."

"Me?"

Her brows arched skyward skeptically with her question and a smug smile curled Gold's lips. Just as he'd suspected. And there was a pause before she spoke again, Gold stepping away once more to dig into one of his cupboard. It was a shame he chose then to turn his back to her and miss the curiously excited smile she tried to hide as her next words fell from her lips.

"How?"

"You have it within you, you told me so yourself," he answered, back to her still, referring to their last encounter when she'd told him about what happened when Cora had tried to take her heart.

"You witnessed it, didn't you?" This time his words were directed towards Mary Margaret.

She didn't answer him, instead turning her attention to Emma. "Emma you don't have to do this—"

"If it tells us something about Archie's death, then so be it." Truth be told, she was almost _excited_ to do something magic. Scared, too, but excited.

"Do you know what this is?" Gold asked her, holding up a dreamcatcher he had pulled from his cabinet.

Of course she knew what it was, she knew someone a long time ago who had one. But if there was _anything_ she didn't want to think about right then, it was him. It was hard enough standing in a room with one man who'd managed to break her heart, she didn't need to think about the other one who'd done it even worse than Gold had.

"A dreamcatcher."

Gold let out a soft chuckle as he stepped towards her. "Well, it's capable of catching so much more."

And with those words, he bent down, calling Pongo over to him once again, dreamcatcher in hand. Slowly, he trailed the dreamcatcher over the dog's head before pulling it away when the center of it began to shimmer and shine with gold. Emma looked on, brows furrowed in curiosity and some bit of apprehension, still not _entirely_ sure of or comfortable with magic, and still not sure what exactly **she** was going to have to do with that dreamcatcher, let alone if she'd actually be _capable_ of what she was supposed to do with it.

"What is that," Belle asked from behind Gold, her brows furrowed similarly to Emma's.

"Memories," Gold answered before he turned towards Emma, who's eyes were now wide with something akin to fear. She didn't know if she could do this. Yes, some part of her was a little excited about it all, but that didn't mean it didn't scare her too. After all, she'd spent her whole life believing things like magic weren't real, and now she was going to be doing magic herself.

"Now, Ms. Swan, you show us how."

"How? It's just a jumble."

The apprehension was noticeable in her tone and all it did was amuse him. Not in a typical way like he was laughing _at_ her, but that it was amusing to him that she could be so unsure of herself when _he_ had all the faith in her in the world. Sure, it was true that he _knew_ she was special, and that was all somethings he was still battling with coming to terms with, but it wasn't _just_ that that made him believe in her. He'd seen enough of her to know what she was capable of and it was laughable that she should doubt herself so much when he _knew_ all that she could do, and already she'd done so much to prove herself capable of a great deal more than she had ever thought possible.

_"_ _Will it;_ will it and we shall all see," he answered, lowly, almost in a whisper, his eyes locked on her as though she were the only one in the room apart from himself. She stared back at him wide-eyed, feeling his gaze penetrate her, herself beginning to feel as though they were the only two people in the room. He had a way of doing that, making her forget everything else around her but him. There was just _something_ about the way he spoke, moved, carried himself, that she always got so sucked up in it. She couldn't imagine it wasn't the same with others, or well, she hoped it was so that it didn't reflect so badly on her the way he was able to captivate her so completely.

Tentatively at first, she reached out to take the dreamcatcher from her, and then her own stubborn determination kicking in as she wrenched it from his hands. Arms locked, face hard and determined, she held it out in front of her, staring directly into it's shimmering center, focusing as much as she could. Gold watched from the side, frustration growing as he watched her struggle, her brows furrowing before the words 'I can't' passed her lips.

Leaning forward, his lips parted, words coming out in a low growled whisper, _"_ _Yes you can._ _"_

She turned then away from him and back towards the dreamcatcher, arms still stretched out in front of her. Concentrating, she let her eyes close as she focused on what she wanted, tried to _will_ an image out of the dreamcatcher. As she stared in concentration, the jumbled center slowly began to clear, an image like a video beginning to shimmer inside the dreamcatcher's center instead. Mary Margaret and David looked on with wonder, both at Emma and watching the scene that played out in the dreamcatcher. Belle and Gold looked on as well, and there was Gold, smiling ever so slightly. _She did it._ Just as he knew she could.

The five of them watched the scene play out within the dreamcatcher until Gold's innocence was proven. Pongo's memories showed clear as day that _Regina_ had indeed been the one to kill Archie. And as the scene ended, Emma dropped the dreamcatcher at her feet, somewhat exhausted from having used magic. It was all still so knew to her and it took a lot of her to do it, especially since she really had no idea what she was doing with it all yet.

"You were right all along," she said, turning to David as he cradled Mary Margaret to his shoulder to comfort her after what they'd just watched.

"I'm sorry, Emma," he whispered, knowing how sure she had been of Regina's innocence, and how much she'd wanted to believe it was true only to be proven wrong.

It seemed that just kept happening to her. She tried to believe the best in others and was constantly proven wrong. That's exactly why she had always tried to tell herself not to get close to people, not to care about them, not to trust them; they'd always disappoint her, and it just kept happening. First Gold, and now Regina. She wanted to be _angry,_ and she was a little, and more anger was soon to come, but just then, she was… _sad,_ disappointed beyond belief. In them as well as herself for even letting this happen, for even letting herself forget for a moment what people were capable of.

Then the three Charmings turned to leave, prepared to go back and find Regina and confront her once again, but Gold's voice rang out, halting their efforts.

"Ms. Swan, do you mind?" He called, eyes dropping to the fallen dreamcatcher, him motioning towards his crippled leg as an explanation. It'd be a little harder for him to reach down and get it than it would be for her. Mary Margaret and David stopped as well, prepared to wait, but Gold's voice rang out again, this time directed at Belle.

"Why don't you show them out, sweetheart—take Pongo with you as well."

Belle faltered a bit, noticing his words for the dismissal they were, but not entirely sure why she was being dismissed, and why he wouldn't have simply just asked her to pick up the dreamcatcher from the floor if that was all he wanted. But she figured it was must be something important and perhaps he'd tell her later, so she nodded her assent, grabbing the leash attached to the dog and walking towards the front of the shopping, smiling pleasantly at Mary Margaret and David. They hesitated a moment, neither liking the idea of leaving Emma alone with Gold, but knowing it wouldn't be prudent to make any mention of it just then. They could ask Emma what happened later, so instead they returned Belle's smile and filed out of the backroom with her.

Emma knew as well that there was more he wanted than simply for her to hand him the dreamcatcher. She wasn't an idiot. But she also didn't exactly know what he would want her alone for, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to either. She didn't say anything or make any indication that she thought something was up or that it was odd he clearly wanted her alone. Instead, she simply bent down to grad the dreamcatcher before handing it back to him.

"Here you go."

"Emma—"

But she cut him off immediately. "—Sorry for accusing you."

"Don't apologize. I don't blame you. I've given you no reason to expect the best of me and all the reason for you to expect the worst…"

"Right, well, still. I was wrong, I'll uh—I'll get out of your hair and let you get back to…your—your uh— _date_ or whatever—"

She shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have brought up what had been going on in his shop before she arrived, but she couldn't help herself. During the whole thing she'd sort of forgotten about it, but now that they were alone again she couldn't help thinking about it and it had slipped out. Even he would have easily been able to hear the jealousy in her tone. It wasn't _scathing_ as it had been earlier when she'd spoken directly to Belle, but more a quiet sort of jealousy, the kind that wasn't trying to be masqueraded as anything else, the humble, honest sort.

"Emma—I—"

"Don't. Please. Don't apologize, don't say anything" she began, shaking her head earnestly. "Look," she started again, running her hand over her forehead in both exhaustion and frustration. "I shouldn't—I shouldn't've even said that. It's—It's none of my business, and I have no right to be jealous—" She hadn't _exactly_ meant to admit that out loud. Yeah, he probably knew anyway, but she didn't mean to say it. She should have stopped at it being none of her business and left it at that, left the rest up to his imagination and interpretation.

"Jealous?"

_Like you don_ _'_ _t already know,_ she thought.

"Not jealous, I—I just mean—" she sighed. "It's none of business. It really isn't. What you do is your business. I don't even know why I said anything…"

That was all a lie, really. She _was_ jealous, she did care what he did, and she even know why she bothered letting it slip out in the first place. She was _vulnerable,_ and she **hated** it, but it was true, and being around him always lowered her defenses even if everything inside her was screaming for her defenses to strengthen in his presence. He'd managed to accidentally break down so many of her walls, that no matter how hard she tried to put them back up and fortify them around him, he was always able to cause them to crumble when he looked at her.

She was… _pathetic._ She hated the way he made her feel, the way he was able to get to her so easily. But the truth of the matter was, they had been through **a lot** together, and it wasn't something she could just get over. Emma could sit there and say it over and over again until she was blue in the face that they hadn't been together, that they hadn't been a couple, that she _didn_ _'_ _t_ have feelings for him, but it's just not possible to go through what she and Gold had been through with each other and _not_ have some feelings develop. Even if they weren't feelings like most people had for one another in similar situations, they were tied together in a way that could not be undone because of what they had suffered through together even if they hadn't _really_ been together when they'd suffered.

"I don't know what to say—" Gold whispered, his own vulnerability leaking out as he spoke with her and as he watched her own vulnerability wash over her.

"You don't have to say anything." She sighed again. "Really, there's nothing you need to say. It is what it is, your life is your life, Gold. Whoever she is—"

"—Belle," he chimed in automatically, and for some reason, it hurt Emma that he did. She couldn't explain, but it hurt.

"Right, Belle. I hope—well, you know—"

She couldn't say she hoped he was happy. It wasn't true.

"Emma, I'm sorry—"

"Jesus Christ, don't be. Like I said, I have no reason to be jealous, Gold. I'm the one who, I'm the one that said no to…to us." She shook her head in disappointment, more at herself than him. "We were never a thing, we weren't. That's the truth. We weren't. We slept together once. Big deal. I think we both know that this really wouldn't have worked anyway. It's for the best—"

"—You really think so?" His question was genuine, and she could hear in his voice that he wasn't so sure that it was true, but she tried to ignore it.

"Yeah…—don't you?"

"I don't know."

Emma stared back at him wide-eyed then, her superpower tingling and she knew in that moment that that was the most honest thing he'd ever said to her. Trying to ignore the fact that he wasn't sure they wouldn't have worked out was going to be impossible now. Great. Just great. She was jealous of this other woman enough already, the last thing she needed was to start thinking about the fact that apparently neither one of them really thought that they'd be better off without each other. Too bad he'd already moved on.


End file.
